College of Wooster - Index Yearbook (Wooster, OH)

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junior Class Ifsfory. - T came to pass in the third year of the Farmer Dicky, while he was strengthening his kingdom-fcalled by some the Department of Prep, but more properly Hayseeds' Rest, -and while he was wearing out his wedding suit, that innumerable multitudes from the tribe of Country Jay flocked to his standard-a delightsome sight to his agricultural heart. Now whlle these things were happening the rival Kingdom in the Hrst year of the Regency of King Prexy. who had recently deposed himself, was enlarged by the addition of a tribe that had iied from the slums of I-Iayseeds' Rest just before the arrival of the Country Jays. This tribe was an excellent one, being valiant and wise and comely to look upon, it was also joined by many who came from afar. At last having all come together they called them- selves the Not-one tribe and so indeed they proved to be, not one but many. Moreover they chose to be their chief a small man, but he was so filled with dread and alarm at the thought of being the leader of such a band that he fell sick and stayed away for nigh unto two years, when he joined another tribe. In this crisis a Iierce young chief with hair like flaming Ere took his place and under him the Not-ones tried many things. In their deep piety they held weekly prayer-meetings for the other tribes in PreXy's Kingdom. They also went out on the foot-ball field where they met some rude, rough fellows who battered them about, pushing them to the ground and tramping upon them. In spite of these misfortunes the Not-ones increased mightily in wisdom and were a delight to their teachers. After a long time they invited the friendly tribe of Ninety and Nine to a banquet at which they fed them with dish-water soup and delicacies 5 as a result of this many came near to dying, Then the N ot-ones tried base ball, in which they were exceedingly successful, almost winning each game. At this time as the year was drawing to its close, certain valiant ones among them ascended the heights ofthe tower and inscribed, with much labor, the name of the Not-one tribe, which remained until the first year of I mean business Holden, who could not endure the sight of it and ordered the tower torn down in consequence. Thus ended the first year of the Not-ones' habitation in Prexy's Kingdom. In the second year certain ones of the tribe returned not back, but new members took their place. In this year the Not-ones were very proud and haughty, but their spirit was soon crushed, as the following events will show.

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The Girls of 1901. Brtgntest eyes IH all tne town Brown, or black, or golden nair: Tnan tne otners youre nnore fair. Tasteftll, dainty, always neat ln tne class room or on tne street 3 , Wnen we nneet tn social way, Tnen youre witty, nappy, gay, Ready in your Classes, too, Lessons ne'er seenn nard to you 3 Modest, friendly, full of fun, Loyal girls of Nineteen One. BLUE eyes, black eyes, gray eyes, brown

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Certain of their number, feeling that the burden of years and the ever increasing weight of knowledge which they were constantly acquiring would prove too much for them and render them helpless before their enemies, chose as their chief a mighty man of learning and of valor, even a famous prize-tighter, and also thought to provide themselves with staves, on which to lean for support. But it came to pass that on the night when they were about to make use of their staves, the Regent Prexy, overcome by jealousy because he had none, and also moved to anger by the false accusations made by certain fellows of the more worthless tribes, who declared that the Not-ones had obtained the staves to stir up insurrec- tion and to torment their enemies, came to where the Not-ones had assembled, and with tears in his eyes and weeping in his voice made them ignominionsly put their staves aside. Moreover in those days there were some who attempted to set up the Not-one standard but were unsuccessful, and one of their number fell into the hands of Eberly Augustus. Thus they became a laughing stock tw their enemies and a shame to their friends. On the football held they were put dreadfully to flight and trampled on as before. At this season of the year when the pigskin was still chased about, it came to pass on a certain day, when the tribe of Simply Nothingsu had succeeded in defeating the Ninety-and-nines, that the above-mentioned valiant chieftain of the Not-ones sought to hold for a little while the banner of the Simply Nothingsf' which was merely a red rag on the end of a stick : while he was endeavoring to accomplish his purpose a valiant Amazon, who, though of small stature, was stout in heart and fierce in spirit, gave a shrill war-whoop and like a tiger leapt at the noble chief and falling upon his neck utterly vanquished him. And thus the second year of their hab- itation in the Kingdom was brought to its close. Now in the third year, the Kingdom passed from the hands of the Regent Prexy to the famous King I mean business, Thumpthetable I-Iolden. Inspired by his example -the Not-ones determined to mean business and on the foot- ball held defeated two tribes that come up against them. Their chieftain in this year was a tall man, wise and of good counsel. Also they decided to make themselves immortal by writing a book, in which all the affairs of the Kingdom should be described truly, and all the sins of the inhabitants thereof exposed and brought to ridicule. The book which you now read is the one whereof I speak and if you find your misdeeds brought to light be thankful that they were no worse : but if you find not your names therein, rejoice not, but be assured that your oifenses have been to dreadful and too many to mention. Thus endeth the third year of the habitation of the Not-one tribe in the Kingdom of I mean- business, Thumpthetable, Bluffthestudents Holden.