Clinton High School - Clintonia Yearbook (Clinton, IL)

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the use of the phrases “Yea, buck” and “Hcadwork’ now held hy Carl Lowe. We give Harold Wilson the powder puff and wrist watch now owned by William Draper. We give to Raymond Luttrell the mustache now worn by “Sears” Griffin. And now, Juniors, before “passing beyond,” we wish to bestow upon you this can which we have cared for during the past four years. It makes very good coffee at a picnic or wiener roast. The class of 1918 have kept it through their four years having used it when they were Freshmen at their first wiener roast. We give it to you with this one request—that you take good care of it, do nothing to mar its brilliant lustre. Next year when you must resign your position as custodians of this precious can, hand it on to the next class that they too may appreciate our interst in “Old C. H. S.” Junior IResponse (Mabel Brown) In behalf of the Juniors I wish to thank Mr. Sharkey for those brilliant words of counsel he has just uttered. It certainly is not to be wondered at that lie is so ready to give advice, when we consider how many doses he has been given this semester. There are some instances that I think need to be recalled at this particular time. Seniors, you are to be commended for the relay of kindergarten teachers you arc turning out, among whom are Harry Ford, Charles Kern, Howard Lane and your president, Bill Brown, all of whom have had such extensive experience in this particular line of work. It seems that in every class of people we find the monotype whose mind runs only in one direction, and such is the sad state of Bill Sharkey, whose pet hobby is to go chasing a 12:32 car up the track after it passes the Hartsock home. It surely is deplorable that your athletics should end with Bill’s nocturnal track-meets—and it is to be regretted more than ever that your president finds the greenness on the north side and freshmen wiener roasts so much more attractive than the football field! Yes, it is sad, but not nearly so touching as the thought that consumption exists in our school and that certain death for your fresh air advocate, Bill Sharkey, can be heard in that notorious cough of his that always bespeaks Sir Oracle, as “When I ope my mouth, let every dog bark.” Another thing for which you need commendation is your success in having so many gentlemen in your class that apparently have such a fondness for chocolates that the latter sometimes disappear very mysteriously! It must be nice to have such cultivated tastes. But what could be more startling than those “bobs” that appeared on Senior heads one morning? Oh, my! Had Mrs. Vernon Castle seen those heads she would have turned grass-green with envy arid quit stageg-life forever! Yes, it was almost as startling as Gail Richey’s recitation in English, when she gave the sentence, “The cow, he has beautiful eyes.” I believe it would be very proper at this time to remind you that we can never forget the wonderful way in which you supervised Room 8. It was almost as well done as the keeping of the cloak rooms! But, longer to be remembered is your distinctive sociability as manifested this year, especially during the noon assembly, at which time Charles Kern felt obliged to entertain his nearb companions with stunts that most likely originated at the last Freshman girl’s kid party. Heaven forbid that there should ever be a ccmetry near this school building, for those echoing footsteps of Mary Ellen, Gail and Maude would never leave a minute’s peace for the dead. And now to Mr. Sharkey and his followers I would like to say that your four years of actions must speak louder than your ten minute charge and the reason Juniors are leaders is not bc-cuse of, but in spite of, the examples you have set for us during your high school career. But I assure you that as you leave us now, we feel just as did the old darky when he wrote the epitaph of his wdfe, “GloryHallelujah! She is gone!” PAGE NINETEEN

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Class sing ‘ Old C. H. S.” Senior Charge (William Sharkey) ‘ Listen, my friends, and you shall hear” of the wondrous adventures of this class of students who call themselves Juniors. A kindergarten would be a better place for them, the class of ’19. It is not my plan today to pass any complimentary remarks upon you, but just to show wherein you have fallen that you may not fall again. There is one among you who is noted for her great ideas 011 woman suffrage. Oh, if we could only take the vote from the men! I refer to May Downey Oakrnan. i'lease show her wherein she is wrong, that she may not disgrace herself by any more such wild and erroneous speeches as she has given. In this wonderful class of yours there are a couple of young adventurers. Edward Lonergan and Claus De-Long by name, who swiped Spot” Ward’s Ford one snowy winter's eve and started to the home of one of the Junior girls, namely Sarah Willmore. It took them two hours to get out there, the Ford stalled three times for the simple reason that Brokic” McClelland had the gas turned off. While they were there they left the Ford out in the cold until the radiator froze up and they had to take turns pushing the car back to town. When Mr. Ward heard of this he gave poor little innocent Spot” thirty days of solitary confinement. Little he knew that Spot” was a dollar to the good and he out a set of chains by the trip, or the sentence would have been much more severe. Xow what do you think of a class of fellows that would do a trick like that? Another instance, Juniors, in which Claus and the suffrage leaders arc involved. Claus wrote a note to May Downey, and the ever-open eyes of Miss Cline saw that note. She requested May Downey to bring her the note and with the assistance of the whole faculty she went down to get the note, but May Downey had that precious billet-doux in her shoe, and you should have noticed the nersous attitude of Claus during the cross-examination. Do you think for one moment that a Senior wrould conduct himself in such an unbecoming manner? Now as to your athletic ability Whom have you that is w'orthy of mention? You will answer me right away by saying Harrison. What was he? He made a few touchdowns in the time he played football, but the hole was made by Draper, a Senior, and a blind man with wooden legs could have carried the ball for a touchdown. Again I ask you, whom have you? Whom can you compare with our Draper or Lowe who made the All-Star Football team? Whom have you to compare with Howard Lane, a second Eckersoll in football, and who very seldom misses a shot in basketball? Whom can you compare with Ford in basketball or baseball? What do you think of the captain of a basketball team who will go asleep on the floor during the best game of the tournament? Asleep? Yes—dead to the world. Did this not happen and was not the offender a Junior? You would have had no football or basketball teams this year w'ere it not for the Seniors. What do you think of two men who will fall down and hurt their ankles on purpose before the hardest game of the season? This happened before the U. High football game and the offenders, Paul Harrison and Walter Kent, were Juniors. Is not that characteristic of a Junior in general—afraid to meet the arduous tasks that confront him? What do you think of a full-back that will not accompany his team on Thanksgiving day for the reason of missing a litle dinner? Did not this occur last Thanksgiving day and was not the offender a Junior? Juniors, you are beyond recall. I have been tempted many times to give this up, thinking it an impossible task, but having that characteristic perseverance of a senior, I have filial succeeded. Look whom you have chosen for the pilot of your ship—-Warren Kirby, one who cannot as yet pilot a threshing machine—one who could never come up to our Brown, who, when he w'as getting low in his subjects, he deserted you and went to the farm. After he left you the prospects seemed somewhat brighter and we were looking for an immediate improvement in your class. Imagine the shock wfe encountered on finding out that Mabel Brown had been chosen as his successor. Mabel Brown! Juniors, think of it! Mabel Brow-n, a girl who had her hair cut short for the purpose of causing an outburst of laughter upon her entrance into the asembly room. What is your opinion of a girl who will bring her breakfast to school and eat it in the asembly room? Is not that beyond your comprehension? But such was the action of your president. Juniors, whom have you that is capable of giving an extemporaneous speech? Fid Lonergan flunked Junior English six times because of his inability to do it. Take a few pointers from Wilfred Brown or Ruth Griffin when they speak, Juniors. One of your four minute” speakers tells us we are in w'ar. Wake up, Juniors! We suppose you had heard about the new invention It has replaced the horse and buggy. I refer to the automobile. You have a large class, Juniors. Large with respect to a few members. There are Beef” Chapin, Baby Bliss’ only rival, Goggles” Catlin next in line and Mary Kenney and Spike” Davison tie for third place. Do not the leaders of the gang of so-called Rowdies,” icecream thieves, party menaces and the like, belong to your class? The officers of this gang are: Clumsy Claus DeLong, Presi- dent; “Ori” McClelland, vice-president; Rhody” Wilson, guard: and Spot” Ward, chauffeur; and the treasurers arc very numerous. Juniors, what do you think of one of your classmates who. w'hcn he saw' his old girl and her escort suddenly halted on a joy ride one Sunday evening for the wrant of a little gasoline, pass ed them as a freight train would a tramp?f’aul Harrison is again the offender, Juniors, another instance that my duty bids me mention. Ethel Jones and a friend of hers (and it wras not a girl friend, either) played hookey one bright afternoon in May and went walking. As luck w'ould have it, her mother telephoned to the school for her, but she was not to be found. Do you think for one minute that a Senior w'ould do a thing like that? We have a few gifts and honors I now wish to bestow upon you, hoping that you will care for them, and fulfill the vacancies as well as your predecessors have done. We give to Warren Kirby seat 1, row 1. hoping he will care for it as well as our worthy president has done, but at the same time knowing he will never perform the duties of tht office as conscientiously as has Wilfred Browrn. We give and bequeath to Sarah Willmore, providing she docs not have a scrap with Ed, the ability to crack her gum. now held only by Maude Jeffrey. If Sarah fails, Mary Kenney is the alternate. Wc give and bequeath to Claus DeLong and Marion McClelland, the stiff collars now owned by Harry Ford and Charles Kern. We give and bequeath to Mary Mustard the ability to flirt, now' held by Aldora Stone. We give and bequeath to F.d Lonergan, the oratorical ability now held by Harry Ford. Wc give and bequeath to Paul Chapin and to him only PAGE EIGHTEEN

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G. 1b. 5. Hlumnt IHomc Endowed by the Class of 1919 Situated at Downey Park, Clinton, Illinois—Time. 1950 CAST OF CHARACTERS Marecce Miller, Matron Fay Lane, Cook. Louise Davis, Home Seamstress. Beatrice Fisher, Member. Cecil Yilcs, Maid for the Week. W illiam Draper, Visitor. Bennie Sessions, Semi-Invalid. Veta Todd, Visitor. , Wilfred Brown, Member. Helen Phillips, Visitor Clyde Bowers, Member. Ruth Phares, Visitor. Scene: The living room of the Home. Comfortable chairs and tables placed around room. Doors at each side. Piano. Flowers. (Enter W ilfred Brown, carrying step-ladder. Marecce follows with placard. W ilfred places step-ladder at center-back of stage and ascends it. Mareece hands him the placard to hang upL Mareece. Now, Bill, do put that up straight. You know, you’re so careless with things. You know’ we have to have things light around here. Wilircd: Well, wasn’t I ahvays careful? Say, it was good of that class of 1919 to endow’ this institution. Never thought such a bunch of irresponsible do-littlcs would turn out that well. !, for one, am mighty glad they did! Mareece: So am I! If they hadn’t, I don’t know where 1 would be! Do hurry up, Bill, Uncle Ben’s coming in! Bennie (Coming in, assisted by Cecil): Not through yet? if visitors should come this afternoon, we want everything nice. There, Cecil, lay my knitting bag on that chair. Oh, dear me, Pm so tired. (Sits down). (lixit Wilfred witli ladder. Doorbell rings. Cecil, grumb-hng, goes and opens the door. Louise enters). Cecil: Oh, Louise, did you get my thread? Louise: Yes, 1 guess 1 did not forget anything this time. Guess who 1 saw’ shopping this afternoon I do declare that Helen Williams buys more new house fixtures than anybody I ever saw. I just found her in Irwin Clark's Gas and Electric office when 1 stopped to pay the bill. She was looking at the chandeliers and picked out one know'n as the ‘Honk” design. Cecil (Taking letter out of Louise’s bag): Here’s a letter for Clyde Bowers. I’ll bet it’s from Gail Richey. You know, Gail w’as one of those girls who always undertakes everything. Now 1 have to go call him. I’m just run to death all the time. (Starts toward door). Marecce: Well, if you hadn't strained that warbling voice of yours when you took Galli-Curci’s place, you might be up in the K” Theater yet. (Exit Cecil. Wilfred enters, sits down and reads paper. Clyde comes in and reads his letter). Louise (Going over to Bennie): Yes, 1 saw' that old maid school teacher, Helen Phillips, up town. You know she always knows all the news. She said that Helen Benson had finally succeeded in attaining her highest ambition, that of getting out of Clinton. She has taken up her abode in a little farm house up cast of Craig. Bennie: You remember her old chum. Esther Jones? I heard the other day that she was down in the Fiji Islands doing research work. She is trying to find out if the whale really swallowed Jonah. Clyde (Looking up from letter): Gail says here she saw' Dale Griffin and he has grown a brilliant crimson mustache I suppose he must have aw'fully rich soil out there on Salt creek. (Door bell rings. Cecil comes in and opens door. Ruth enters, shakes hands and greets everyone). Ruth: My, how you folks have changed! I just had to run in and see you, for it seems such a long time since we were together. 1 feel almost like a “Freshie” today. Don’t you remember what a time wre had when we were “Frcshics” in high school? Those picnics and wiener roasts! It’s been so long ago. Louise: Oh, yes, Ruth, how we have changed! Well, I suppose it is because we arc all so old now’. But I remember when we had that wiener roast and brought a tin can up North Jackson avenue as an announcer of our coming home. The Avc-nueists certainly knew we were coming. We “Frcshics” thought we had the time of our green lives. Cecil: 1 should say we did! And how scared we were of our teachers! Didn’t the other classes laugh when we came into high school? Mareece: Yes, when we got into Senior English instead of Freshman Latin. We laughed just as much a year or two later. (Goes over by window). Here comes Dr. Wm. Draper, the celebrated physician. They say he is to receive the Nobel prize this year for discovering a new way to paralyze a teacher’s brain when a student cannot recite. Get ready, Uncle Ben. You ought to feel honored to have such a famous man visit you. Bennie: Oh, I’m ready. 1 always think of him as Bill and how I used to love to hear him sing. Let’s have him sing something for us this afternoon for old times’ sake. Louise: Let’s do. And, Ruth, you must sing something, too. You’re such a great prima donna now that maybe you can entertain us here without your manager knowing it. Folks, just remeber when Ruth and Bill sang in those good old days! Ruth: If it will make you happier to hear me, I will sing one of my songs for you if Bill will also sing. (Door bell rings). Cecil (Opening door): Come in, Dr. Draper. Bill: Say, when I come here, I’m just plain old Bill. Hello, boys! Hello, everybody! When I left my office this afternoon, I met old John Scott and his wife. She used to be Nell Wilson, you know’, that pretty girl wrc had with us during our Senior year. He said they lived out near Wapclla. They must be rich; he has a swell Ford. WiKred: John will never have any other kind of an automobile no matter w’hat happens. But look at this. Big headlines. “Arrested for Gaining Husband’s Affections Through Public Flirtation! He was a Soldier in the U. S. A.; She, Formerly Miss Rcba Hoyt.” Clyde: Ha! ha! That's just like Reba. Say, look on the back of that paper.Thcre’s a notice of an explosion in Charles Kern’s taffy factory. Cause unknown. He manufactures more talfy than anyone else this side of Haw’aii. Mareece (Big noise outside): Oh, goodness there's Glenn Leggett out again! He’s “crazy as a bed-bug!.” Someone go get him’ back in before he tears something up! (Starts toward door), i’m about crazy myself with being matron here. Bill, have you given Uncle Bennie her medicine yet? Bill No. I didn’t expect to sec so many here this afternoon. It takes me back to High School days again. (Turns to Bennie and hands her a bottle of medicine). I guess, Bennie, you w'il not be so silly about getting local color for your novels any more, will you? Bennie: I reckon not. I certainly got one tumble w'hcn I fell off that rock with a big bear right after me. Those old Arkansas rocks are pretty sharp. I have to write all my novels now inside and make them domestic affairs, instead of Indians and wild animals. I thought 1 heard a crowd veiling a while ago. I don’t hear very well any more. Is there a baseball game PAGE TWENTY