Clay High School - Crystal Yearbook (Oregon, OH)

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Senior Prophecy FlashfStation CHS brings you your weekly news roundup featuring that ace reporter, Jim Henderson, sponsored by the Kinney Korporation. Are you weak, pale run-down, have aches and pains? Try Kinney Kidney Kom- pounds. Only one quarter at your nearest corner drug store. Now to the CHS newsroom for the latest news. Good-evening, ladies and gentlemen, this is your favorite reporter bringing you all the latest news and views of my old schoolmates from Clay-Hi, who are now scat- tered all over the world. A new record was made today when Bill Edgar piloted his plane, The Shank's Sailing Ship, fmanufactured by Bud Shanks and his able assistant and wife, Joanne Lutzj across the Atlantic Ocean at 2000 miles an hour. Bill was flying Dick Costle, that eminent Spanish ambassador, and his secretaries, Ruth Grotz and Audrey Nelms, back to Spain after a conference with Wayne Bricker, new Secretary of State and a candidate for the 1960 presidential'election. The Navy Post Chapel at Annapolis was the setting for the double wedding ol Jean Liptack and Miriam Hagemeyer who married their Navy this afternoon. Con- gratulations, Jean and Haggie. Another startling event of this afternoon was the accident in the Kelly Kemical Korporation. It was a freak explosion in which Bob Healy, chief chemist, escaped injury. At the time the owner, Larry Kelly, is said to have been' visiting the Phyllis Beauty Shoppe owned and operated by Phyllis LaCourse and Phyllis Hindee. Local gossip says he spends quite a bit of time there. No wonder he was voted the Most Well-Groomed Man of the Year. This past week has brought many new discoveries and experiments in the field of science. Richard Huss and Harold Ackerman, the gentlemen farmers, have developed a new hybrid type of corn which will grow to maturity in thirty days. Mary Carlo, Emily Dreier, Shirley Smith, and Dorothy Heltebrake have perfected a well-balanced diet for the farmerf5000 calories a day plus an apple. The girls will first try it out on their husbands before they release it for public use. Dwight Witty and Melvin Lauman have invented a new tractor that makes farming a cinch, boys. It plows, cultivates, irrigates, digs, picks, mows, cuts, threshes, bales- anvthing you want. just push a button. VSWR 25

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Senior Prophecy A new breed of featherless turkeys has been developed. The developer is Ruth- etta Nelson, an old hand at turkeys. Now Thanksgiving dinner will be easier for everyone. Avaloo Dresser has made a frosting that will decorate cakes from coast to coast. The reason for its success is its simplenessfjust soapless shaving cream with flavoring and brushed on. It has a new and different taste. Only three Nobel prizes were awarded this year. The lucky winners are Louise Kuhlman and Dorothy Mominee whose outstanding work with atoms has rewarded them with equal prizes for physics. Douglas Hosley was awarded the prize for liter- ature. Critics say Douglas will go down in history as the greatest poet of the age. Virginia Peregoy is still perfecting her new method for embalming dead people. It seems that she has discovered the Egyptians' secret of mummification. Edna Christoffer has not been successful so far in trying to End something for shrinking tall people down. She says she will keep on trying. Now for some news from New York's Broadway and Fifth Avenue. That rising young bandleader, Bob Ferrel, and his Fearsome Frolicers, featuring Bernice Cedoz as vocalist, are now playing in the Schumaker Room of the Whitacre Arms Hotel, owned and operated by Betty Whitacre who, incidently, was married for the fourth time last week. The Schumaker Room was named in honor of Kate Schu- maker, the first woman mayor of New York City. A Broadway success The End written and directed by Anita Koch with an all- star cast including Marianne Cavas and Bill Heinig is finishing its 154th performance on the stage and is likely to run for two more years before it is made into a movie. Burger Brothers of Hollywood has an option on the screen rights. Now there is a suc- cess story. From operating a small movie show house in Toledo, Rolland Burger has worked himself up to being the greatest picture producer in the United States. Now for a moment with our sponsor and then I'll be back with some more news. Does this program make you nervous, irritable, upset? It does? You don't suffer from kidney ailments, just general principles? But, if during the night or day you get these symptoms plus being weak and having backaches, hurry to your nearest corner drugstore and buy the small trial size of Kinney Kidney Kompounds for only twenty-live cents. Guaranteed results or your money back. Once you try Kinney's Kidney Kom- pounds you can't stop using them. 26