Clay High School - Crystal Yearbook (Oregon, OH)

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Q VV' N 'N A Class Prophecy Home! What a pleasure indeed to return home on that long-hoped-for vacation, after pounding typewriter keys for twenty long years in Elmer Ackerman's clearing house in New York. I sailed along happily in a plane piloted by the famous aviatrix, Gertrude Fredrick. Gert, kind-hearted as ever, let me ride for half price regardless of weight. As we drifted along I read the latest novel and best seller of the clay, Life Work and Love Letters of Mr. Black , a book written by Marguerite Schmidlin. This book was a smashing success, and Marg was now riding in a Rolls Royce. While stopping for passengers in Cleveland I noticed a very fat lady take the seat opposite me. With a cheerful giggle, she exclaimed, Why, Vogie, is it really you ? I scrutinized her closely and found her to be my old pal, Kathleen Stadler. As we chatted Kate told me that she was working as fat lady in Glen Susorls circus. We sat reminiscing of days spent in Clay High until we reached the airport in Bono, which was under the management of Arthur Kontak. We left the plane and entered Arthur's office, where he and Horace Metzger, the airport cab-driver, sat playing checkers. They were so interested in the game that they didn't notice us until a terrible commotion arose outside. We went out and found Howard Zeh, the great lecturer on A Woman's Place Is in the Home , arguing with Igerna Heckart, who owned a hot dog stand near by. Arthur called Police Sergeant Gene Martin, who arrested both of them for disturbing the peace. Horace took Kate and me to the jackson Hotel, managed by Vivian jackson. We registered and on our way to the elevator passed the switch- board. There sat Helen Baymiller as contented as could be, lazily chewing gum and plugging the numbers. Helen greeted us warmly, and while chat- ting with her we heard someone cry, Extra! Snake Bites Mistress. EXTRA! EXTRA! I ran forward and purchased a paper from a ragged peddler who was none other than Florence Hess. I eagerly read the glaring headlines and found that Mary Metzger, known as Mazda the Snake Charmer, had been bitten by her pet python, Jewel , while feeding it. The article stated that the bite was not serious and that Mary would be all right in a few days. After spending the night in the hotel I set out early the next morning to revisit old scenes. The first person I met was Ethel Amsler. Ethel asked me to visit her school in the Russian settlement in Toledo where she taught French. After listening to those poor little Russians struggle through a few irregular verbs, I sneaked out the door unnoticed and hurried up the street. I ran headlong into a tall, husky sailor-my old friend, Edward Metzker. After a hearty greeting Eddie asked me to go slumming with him. While leisurely strolling along Eddie told of his last trip to Hongkong where he CRYSTAL 1932 Ml-. I T wiv-.r

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Q ' P 3255 is.ve.QeiveeHae9mezv1e:e 'ss ' if visited Ronald Kohn, a missionary. He said Ron was having a terrible time with the cannibals there. QThat must have been a sailor's yarn because who ever heard of cannibals in Hongkonglj Posted on nearly every street corner were announcements of the opening of Ruth Kohne's night club in Momeneetown. Ruth's club was to star Lillian Huss, world-renowned violinist, and Violet Burow, crooner and ballet dancer. We entered a small tearooin and found Paul Longenecker, Toledo's greatest artist, and his model, Lillian Perry, sitting at a table enjoying their daily lunch. They were very enthusiastic over the new picture they were working on, which was to advertise Jagger's Toilet Articles. Eddie and I left them talking of art and sauntered down the street. We met Stanley Bourdo, Toledo's most famous miser. Stanley fit was rumoredj had millions salted away but was out street cleaning in disguise as a poor man. Stan was just as great a talker as always, and soon we were arguing on the labor question. A very mannish woman strolled up and, taking me by the arm, separated Stan, Eddie, and me. I recognized her as Dolores Grosjean, the prominent lawyer, about whom I had heard so much. She stepped into the argument, and I walked away, somewhat hurt to think that an old friend like Dolores would, for her own pleasure, shoulder me out of a perfectly good argument. I wandered down the street and joined a large crowd gathered around an organ grinder. I watched the antics of the monkey for a while and then turned to the organ grinder. It was none other than Edna Stroh. But who would have thought itl She was fair and fat but not quite forty. Edna stopped playing, and the crowd scattered. She explained to me that this was the most profitable business in which she had ever engaged. She said she was making more money than Lucille Schacht, who invented Never-Sharp Barber Shears. Speaking of barber shearsf' said she, that reminds mee-have you vis- ited Alice Lentz's beauty parlor? It is only a little way down the street. She has a wonderful business taking care of her two customers, Catherine Molnar and jack May. They both are mechanics in Catherines garage and go to Alice's every day for manicuresf' I left Edna to her grinding and ambled happily along the street. My attention was attracted by a sign which read, Bodi's Hair Snippin' Shop. Hair cuts cheap. Deciding I was badly in need of a hair cut, I entered, and Melvin started to cut my hair, talking much faster than he worked. He became so excited that he cut into the collar of my new gown. I rushed to the telephone and called Sheriff Otto Becker, who came at once. An argument ensued, and as the two were still good friends, I was again getting the worst of the deal. Well, I shall never know how it ended because at that moment the alarm rang, and I had to get up. So it was just a dream after all, and time alone will tell whether dreams come true. if CRYSTAL 1932 ff Page Twenfy .re zen