Clay City High School - Claytonian Yearbook (Clay City, IL)

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19 + + ++++4 ClIon ian 52 Senior Class Prophecy Julia Hilderbrand has received our city’s award for the most careful taxi driver. She has set a safety record, for she has damaged only fenders — 321 of them. Bill Holcomb, having joined the Foreign Legion at an early age, is now living in India, with a harem of thirty wives. Kenneth Hostettler has a huge ranch in Texas. With the unbeatable combination of beef cattle and oil, Kenneth has bought a half interest in the U. S. Treasury. The other half is owned by Harry Truman, who has donated most of it to foreign countries and to his vacations in Florida. Joan Kessler has completed her nurse’s training and is now qualified to care for disabled dodoes. Jim Knowles sailed for the South Sea Islands and has not been heard of since. Jim Kuenstler, philanthropist, gathered his fortune by selling shoe laces. His latest charity is a home for old-aged grasshoppers. Fred Kuenstler is industriously digging in the sands of Egvpt. He is an archaeologist of very little fame, but we have confidence that'he will find his mummy. Melvin Lee, a renowned inventor, has recently created a window pane with only one side because it will save washing time. Jeannine McGrew, her artistic talent unrecognized by the world has resorted to painting stripes on barber poles. Colene McVay is now employed by radio station D.D.T. to sing commercials about Great Cousin Edward’s Soap, which contains the new miracle ingredient, petroleum. Bob Monical, U. S. ambassador, has assured us of peace Texas has become our ally. Marie Mosser and her husband, Keith Pickens, are living peacefully in Ingraham, the third largest city in the nation, where Keith is Mayor. Don O’Dell in now a southern planter. He has taken his cue from the famous radio program and has become an undertaker in Atlanta Georgia. Doris Patndge and Kaye Taylor have married twin brothers who are both multimillionaires. They are living in Florida, where the President and Margaret are their weekly Sunday dinner guests Lola Ruth Patridge writes a column in a Chicago newspaper which is devoted to her magic recipes. She is the author of our favorite ’ recioe Pickled Strawberries with Glue Salad. F ' (Continued)

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19 C I Cl IJ Ionian '• • • • •• • • • 52 Senior Class Prophecy As we gaze into the crystal ball, the future of each member of the class of ’52 is revealed. Professor C. R. Baker, M.A.D., has developed a revolutionary theory on why cocoa is not derived from coconuts. Ruth Bateman departed for Borneo, an island largely populated by cannibals, on a missionary journey two years ago. It is reported that the cannibals are all healthy. We shall miss her! Erma Bayler is official taster for the million dollar Clay City Bakery! She now weighs 299 pounds and 10 ounces. George Bissey, circus barker for the Barn and Bail Circus, has created with his convincing spiel, an ever increasing demand for two-headed men. Bob Boxell, zoo keeper, is trying to teach the monkeys the fundamentals of civilization. The monkeys have learned to shake hands, and Bob is also progressing rapidly. He is now one of our most enthusiastic tree climbers and has developed a passion for bananas. Claude Dasch has manufactured a new type of footstool, which closely resembles a radiator, for installation in all of the best schools. Merlin Dasch has departed to live a hermit’s life in an unexplored region of Africa, because he lost his little black book. Bobby Daubs, the mathematical genius, has acquired the position of public accountant at the R. U. Rite Company. Marilyn Erwin was the private secretary at Cockerel’s Police Station until last week. At that time she eloped with the son of the Chief of Police. Catherine Gibbs and Carolyn Mayo have teamed up. Catherine writes the songs and Carolyn plugs them on her coast-to-coast disc jockey program. Catherine’s latest — “Because Of You, I Missed The Shrimp Boat, So We’ll Have Hamburgers Tonight.” Jim Gill, a graduate of an agricultural college, has been chosen as the one most likely to sack seed. Norma Gill, the first woman President of the United States, has passed a bill which rules that there will be no more than five government women to do one woman’s job. Mary Ruth Henderson is partially responsible for Norma’s election, for she is her campaign manager. In one of Norma’s speeches, which was prepared by Mary Ruth, the promise was made that the federal government would build an arena for bull fights in Clay City. (Continued)

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19 • +++ +++ +++++ + +. Claijlonian 52 Senior Class Prophecy Norma Rhoads, a member of the Woman’s Air Force, was recently forced to abandon her plane, unaware that her parachute was damaged. The result: A fractured brain?? and four broken fingernails. Bill Sharp has been traveling across the world taking poles. First he took the North Pole and then the South Pole. Now he is earnestly searching for the East and West Poles. Fred Shelton has just produced another Broadway hit, “I Forgot Papa”. Carol Shore is now the head librarian at the Congressional Library in Washington. D. C. It is rumored that she is taking frequent singing lessons from Margaret. Barbara Springer, former script writer for Pathetic Pictures, has become one of their most promising stars. Her first film is “Nightmare” or “All She Had For A Midnight Snack Was Pickles and Ice Cream”. Wayne Stanley, super-sleuth, now has his own Detective Agency. His motto is “murders, kidnapping, missing persons; we do them all”. Jimmy Stowers, a former deep sea diver, has built a ranch style home on the ocean floor. There he trains sea-horses to race and sword-fish to fence. Loren Sunday has risen in popularity so rapidly that Harry James has been forced to enter a new profession. Fern Walker has written an authoritative document titled, “How To Raise Healthy Pink Elephants and Green Field Mice”. Admiral George Weber, now a member of the U. S. Navy for two and a half months, is continuously giving the order to lower the mast. What’s strange about this? There “ain’t” no mast on that ship! Don Weger is reading Dale Carnegie’s book, “How To Win Friends and Influence People”, but for some mysterious reason he has lost all of his friends. Oh yes, he has a new job — tax collector. Don Williams has been given a citation for having never been absent or tardy at the automobile agency where he works. This agency is the first to sell the new modernistic car, which has no carburetor, no spark plugs, no generator, no valves; in fact there is nothing under the hood. You just get out and push.