Central High School - Blue and White / Pnalka Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

Page 31 text:

N D af nb ae i= 27 Lois Mec Aleese 1s still looking For her deal- Miss Mirprep Pratt is sporting about her throat. It seems he was operating for appendicitis, but found her so ticklish he had to cut her throat. If you walk up State Street you may see a sign reading (a thing remarkable in itself): Miller Funeral Par- lours—Let Miller Put You Away—Try Our Em- balming Fluid Cocktails—Steam Heated Ceme- tery Lots. Mr. Murcer is taking care of Dr. Hatt’s mistakes on a 50-50 basis. Birt Goprrey, for sweet Fericity’s sake, has donated money for a new theatre, decorated by Puyttis Van Sickie. Tickets will be sold under the auspices of the ‘“‘Men’s Improvement League.’’ JEAN Dimock is shaking a leg with the Nifty Naughties at the State Theatre. We tried to keep the State Theatre out of this, but it would wiggle in. Ettswortu Cook is running an ‘‘Advice to the Love- lorn’’ column. Devoted to his job, he often sacrifices an evening of vice to console some poor sweet damsel. Nevu Munte has been having so much to do with Etsy in his professional capacity that the government has appointed a special letter carrier for their corres- pondence. Gtenvon Rayson is crooning lullabies at a nursery. It’s a tree nursery, and his feature number is “Lullaby of the Leaves.’’ Birt Gorpon is the big shot in charge of the young shoots. Incidentally, folks, if your pores are paralyzed, or if your skin is beginning to lose that school-girl com- plexion, use Mapame Harriet JoHNSON’s Cremes. Van Heusen has what it takes to get along—along what?—along these lines: the B.O., the B.V.D., the 1.0.U.—What lines are these? That’s easy—since they are neither Goprrey’s line nor BriGHAm’s line, they must be railroad lines. To come to the point, gentle listeners, the fact is that Miss Van Heusen is a waitress. She protests that the fare limit is unfair. Mr. Eart Brake, who is now lugging a full beard around, says about eating corn on the cob, “One in the hand is worth two in the bush.”’ Bruce Bowens is a recent appointee as Ambassador to Abyssinia. CrensHAw, popular entertainer at the Cotton Club, has been very sick of late. As you may or may not know, the little devil has acquired the habit of carving the initials of his feminine acquaintances on his arms and legs. His wife, Acnes Harvie, who has had difficulty in paying his doctor’s bills, says, ‘‘It’s not the up-keep that hurts; it’s the initial cost.”’ Miss Terreautt is just getting her husband untied after his last wrestling match. By the way, she is famous for her recipe on ‘‘How to Make Cauliflower Ears At- tractive.” Jacosson has just lost his position as Fuller Brush man because of his inability to make sales. The fact that he had to back up to ring door bells, on account of his large feet, handicapped him. This backward pro- cedure often resulted in an undignified position at the bottom of the stairs. Mr. Norman Temete is wallowing in the footsteps of L. W. Smiru. Since he has not as yet secured the coveted position as teacher at the best school in the solar system, he is killing time as head of the mathematics department at Harvard. Bernarp O‘Conne LL, steel worker, is riveting an addition to the Chrysler Building—but that’s another story. Jory MicHerman has been picked up by the police at Coney Island, where he was making a general nuisance of himself by yelling fearfully and pointing into the water. The great detective, Homework Suirks, whom we have known as Dave Betcuer, suggests that Joey’s fear was caused by his reflection. Epwarp Caruso has obtained a job in the U. S. Navy on the strength of the nautical reputation of one of his ancestors. This ancestor, it seems, was Commander- in-Chief of the naval forces of the world. His name was Noau. That isn’t static you hear folks. It’s just Epirn Ste. Once trying to get a word in. Bos JoHnson has a fat part in the new play “It Never Rains But Someone Gets Wet.”’ It is playing at the Garden.

Page 30 text:

THE PROPHECY.OF THE CLASS OF Sige Hello, girlses and boyses. This is Frep Messner, man-about-town, broadcasting from the city jail since, due to a little misunderstanding, I have not yet been bailed out. Chiseling on the old rock-pile with me this ot w ue Gate itor 1 week is the distinguished Socialist, Henry McDonoucu, who has expressed such radical views in his new book ‘““My First Five Years in Central’’ that the authorities decided to put him in temporary retirement on the charge of murdering the King’s English. That celebrated and perforated gangster, Mixe Pessorano, is here for old home week accompanied by his lawyer, Eurcicn. Well, to get away from all this, Nestor Coxxinias, wisest of the Greeks, is the managing owner of the popular roadhouse ‘‘The Greasy Spoon’’, where Bruce Proctor, world’s greatest criminal lawyer by day, nightly murders harmony with his infamous orchestra. That vivacious trio, Saw, Hurp, and LaVatty,'are | | Srqham makes his Toilette” doing a song and dance number there this week. Not a liccle of the establishment’s popularity is due to the presence of BricHam, the gigolo, and Bowker, the bouncer. The girls like to try to dance with Bricuam, and the boys get a great kick out of being bounced by Bowker. Puytitis Warner is a hostess. Procror and Lois MacAcerse have finally buried the hatchet. An investigation found it in her skull. She is under the care of Dr. Jimmy Hatt, but nevertheless is expected to re- cover. Dr. Hatt is responsible for the bandage that Bruce conducts his orchestra undisturbed because ne OSA Bowker is so efficient.

Page 32 text:

28 etal ts Be oe EstHer Frary has just returned from Africa where her fiancé, Pui Cuase, was eaten by cannibals—but you can’t keep a good man down. Mapevine MacKinnon is a popular Salvation Army lass. Upon questioning, Miss MacKinnon stated that, although there wasn’t much money in the business, she managed to keep her pot filled. Camitre Croutier is eking out a meagre existence on funds derived from her latest song hit, ‘“‘She was Only a Postman’s Daughter, but How She Knew Her Males.”’ “Frannie” Bartletts Rival Frances Bartietr has married fireman JuNior Barney. Life to Frances is just one flame after another. Estuer Bioom is holding down a responsible govern- ment position, and incidentally a comfortable chair, which calls for great talent in developing new patterns, shades, and widths of red tape for official use. AvBerTA SwinnerTON is still knitting all her clothes. Her husband, Georce, is making skirts only. As she commented upon his excuse for coming in late yester- day morning, she remarked, ‘‘I prefer the smooth yarns put out by ArpHa Cueney’s Textile Mills.”’ N D W HSS he Hepeen, the extraordinary exterminator, has a job with the We Wreck Rats Company, crawling down rat holes and slaying the little rascals in great numbers with great delight. She feeds them dynamite and then kills them with a pea-shooter. Dor McGratu has finally given in to the blandish- ments of GeorGe Lapp. She is as happy as could be ex- pected since she is the mother of five fine lads who all resemble cheir father. anew MGeodman- VirciniA Leste is posing for the new Mae West corset designed by Eowarp Day, a specialist on women’s fashions. Gentle snorer or rather gentle listener, at last | have come to the end of my rope. | must break the noose to you, but I’ll be hanged if I don’t have to stop now. Respectfully submitted by Beverctey SHERMAN, Chairman JoHNn PEAvey Ervira Couitti ANNA Ferre THE PROPHECY ON) THE PROP bee Time: 1983 Situation: Mr. John Peavey and the ‘Mrs.’ (Bev. Sherman) are on the honeymoon express Zephlin to Niagreta Fells. John, cackling in the romantic tenor of second childhood. Beverley, m’ dear, at last we are together, heh, heh. Beverley, blushing beneath her girlish wrinkles, mur- murs incoherently. Darling. John. To think that we had to be separated for fifty years until the last of those gossiping fools of ’334 had died off. Ah, but it was worth ic. Elvira Colitti and Anna Ferre snicker in the back- ground as they listen to these tw o happy love-birds. Beverley. Yes, John. John. Beverley, m’ love, when we get back to our dear lictle cottage with the green shutters by the sea, we shall have... Pilot rudely interrupts. Niagreta Fells. Beverley, looking up to sigh and looking down to blush. Our honeymoon, John. John. What is ic, bud of my heart? Beverley. Will you call me ‘“‘beautiful’’ when I get old? John. You will always be young and beautiful. Beverley. Oh, John. Elvira, in the background. Love is blind. Anna. Yes, and marriage is an eye-opener. Mary TrerreAULT