Central High School - Blue and White / Pnalka Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

Page 32 text:

i : I' ' 1-.1 'u ZIIEIZIIEIZIIEIUEIIBSIIJ .Mllllillliilalillalil amz! W E53 W W3 W E73 573 J.-Mr. Phillips, your case is so slight that we have decided to give you a sus- pended sentence. Here is a pair of the most important of supporters Cpair of sus- pendersj. Next case. O.-Mr. Richard Sheldon is the defendant. He is charged with being the greatest sartorial triumph in our class. In fact, it is rumored that, to gain his effects, he has worn the carpet in front of his mirror at home to mere shreds. J .-Dick, this being the case, we present you this rug to go beneath that mirror. Better that the continuous tramplings of those two feet wear out both rug and carpet, than for you to have a single misplaced hair! Next. O.-The next case is that of Lelia Waller, Allen Cowett, and James Arthur Preu. The gentleman and lady in guestion-and also Mr. Preu-are accused of seriously interfering with other people's conversational rights. Mr. Preu gains his effect by force of vocabulary, and Mr. Cowett by force of volume alone, while Miss Waller makes herself conspicuous by vocabulary, volume, persistence and endurance. Put these three together, and the result is bedlam let loose. J .-A serious case this. The disease is fatal, at least to those exposed to anyone who has the mania. Mr. Cowett, here is a flat tire, on which you will kindly vent all superfluous hot air in the future. In case the tire is unable to stand the strain, we also present you a supply of patches.-Mr. Preu, if we had possession of your line, we'd start a telephone system, that would take the clapper out of the Bell Company. Here is a pulley for it. Drag it in at least once in a while.-Miss Waller, since nothing but isolation will ever cure your case, we had hoped to be able to present you a lease on a padded cell, far from the gadding crowd, for which, on presenting it to mine host, Sheriff Clark of the Wayside Inn on York Street, you might have been able to find the society where none intrude. This, however, was impossible. The detention palace was already crowded with other inmatesg so the best, or worst, we can do is give you, in despair, this record, Whafs lhe Use of Talking. Next. O.-The next case deals with Frank Zeo, who is accused of being, in spite of his protests, the cutest boy in our class. We'd like to know how he gets that way. J .-Well, Frank, all you have to do is answer the question in this little song, Where'd You Get Those Eyes? Next case. O.-The next and-last case concerns Miss Bose Clancy. She is accused of an undue propensity for holding hands, especially during the evening performances of S'Lady Ursulau was this fact noticed. J.-Ah, Rose, we see you have many palmy days ahead of you. Heh, heh! All we Wish to suggest is that you know your stuff. Here is a book of Palmistry. Yes, Rose, we've got to hand it to you. Court is dismissed. HOWARD SIMPSON ALLEN WEST f N I laiaiei - - - lei na - ,,m-ie-Eiieniiemie M EW FR W W 53 W g,. .,... .

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,,,- A . f f' -ia M ..... 'i?f-effg-ijfaws, ZIBEIZIIEIZIISIIEIISSIII BEIBJEIIIBIEIZIISIQI are W cw it m W E53 are 1 A O.-The next is the case of Miss Rose Lipman and Miss Fay Spiro. They are charged with being over efficient. Miss Spirofs efficiency takes the form of extreme thrift. After securing bargains on all the properties for the Senior Play, she actually wished to sell the left-overs at a profit. Miss Lipman is charged with being the most efficient as well as the best girl student in our classg that is too much! We expected more. J .eWe are sorry to say that little can be done about this. We may merely place on you, Miss Spiro, our Thrift Stamp of approval.-Miss Lipman, we suggest that this System magazine twined about your neck would forever distinguish you as the Ne plus ultra of executive ability. Next case. O.gThe defendants are Robert Weeks and Leon Sisitsky. These two young gentlemen are charged with being too highly colored. If they were to blush a shade more, we should have to call the Fire Department. J.-Mr. Sisitsky, you are charged with having too much local colorg so we present you a brush for the blush. Use one end for blushes easy to whiten, and the other end for blushes hard to whiten, etc.-Robert, we have heard before of rosy dawns, and rosy sunsets, but never before of whole weeks that were rosy. Accept from us Lydia Pinkham's pale pills for pink people-after every meal. Now, officer, let's have a case of Scotch. 0.-All right, your Honor. Mima Morison and Dorothy Dinsmore, please step forward. Miss Morison has a charge against her of being the best girl mixer, while Miss Dinsmore is charged with being the most popular girl. These charges were investigated and found true. J .-Miss Morison, as best mixer in the class, you must have to mix with a lot of eggs. Here we present you with'this little contrivance Cegg-beaterl to be used at your discretion. Remember-if the eggs fail to mix, the same machine may be used for beating.-Dot, we have here a song arranged especially for you from the Overture lo VVilliam. Tell, which contains the secret of your popularity. It is en- titled-I lV0nder lllhal Will Joe Sawlell. Next case. O.-The defendants are Miss Mary Flanaghan and Mr. Albert Yarlott. We understand that these two people came close to having a date together. Miss Flanaghan is charged by evidence of Yarlott's picture, which she possesses, of almost having a date, and Yarlott by the same evidence is charged with irrational behavior. J.-Mary, here are some dates Cstuffed datesj with some nuts, which we hope will furnish a welcome relief from one with Yarlott. And take it from me, Miss Flanaghan, at the time of their purchase, the court investigated, and found that those were some heavy dales.-Mr. Yarlott, this little flower has long been one which symbolizes eccentricities such as yours. Sweets to the sweet, crackers to the cracked, and daffodills to the daffy. Next case. O.-The case of Mr. Herbert Clough. He is accused of taking tickets at our dances instead of taking girls to them. Did he take a girl to our Prom? No, he took tickets. J .-Mr. Clough, lest you find it necessary to go without a companion to the next few dances, we have made arrangements for you to escort these tickets. Taxi fare need never worry you-you can go on a bicycle. Next. O.-The defendant is Mr. Robert Phillips. He is accused of being the most vociferous supporter of all our athletic teams. He even submits to the company of Matt Walsh and Bill in order to attend the games. C311 - , -mu - - .m.eE.-eQ-eQe W ETH EW Ei? W W EW El?

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Ag - a .MIB-JIIIIUIEIZIIBIZI are W3 EIS m 'S W3 E an we IISVIIEI Ilallull llll Prophecy of the Time: 1947. Place: State Street Subway. Characters: Arthur Preu and Eunice Denver, both reading newspapers. Eunice:-Oh, what of those we used to know At dear old Central, long ago? Arthur :-Those were the good old days, you bet, Their memory lingers with me yet. E.-'Yes, we hear of them now and then. What's this I find upon page ten? Howie Simpsonls a doctor, I see, But he'll get no patronage from me, And his partner grim is Allen West, When Howie's through, he does the rest. A.-Cf social fame is Adeline Hall, She's hostess at the Bricklayers' Ball. And at this ball, the well-known trio, Shapiro, Rubinwitch and Zeo, Who, though they have no business there, Have come to watch the public stare, For they are movie stars, you see, In search of some publicity. Yarlott and Gelfman, the famous twain, With fancy dancing will entertain, And Herbie Clough will pass the hat, And render Casey at the Bat . Dorothy Robbins and Jimmie Brown, Whose voices bring them wide renown, Sing to night at the grand event, CThe management will raise the rentlj And music for the grand soiree Litman's Rubber Band will play. ' E.-But drop that page, and look at this: Here's an item you mustn't miss, For here I find that Lucille Nay Has been a bride ten years today, Her husband has attained such fame That in the papers they print his name As Russell Neilson, the Cabbage King, Whose praises loud the people sing. And here's some more that makes me start, It's all about our handsome Art, Now General Nelson, gruff and stout, Who's had, they say, a falling out With Captain Burt of the Horse Marines, The latter's gift for making scenes Class of 1926 i Has made our general turn quite red. CThe paper prints about half he said.D A.wBut let us turn to the sporting sheet, And see what there our gaze doth meet. The first I see is a new Babe Ruth, Whom, it seems, I knew in youth As Parker Remkus, a batsman bold, Whom Manager Walsh to the Yankees sold And here beside him on the page, Isa brilliant star of the speaking stage, Who's come down to see her classmate play Her name is known to all they say, As Gertrude Herrick, a stunning blonde, Of whom so many boys were fond In days of old at Central High, Where she cost poor Mulligan many a sigh And here's Piligian for a jest Holding horses on his chest, But in his leisure, though few know it, The paper says he is a poet. And Fighting Callahan, the boxing champ 7 Whose chances of winning are rather damp, Will hold a bout with Mendel Mazer, Inventor of the Scrape'em Razor. E.-Come, that's about enough from you. What's this news that's come to view? For now I see in headlines bold That Cotels latest book's been sold For a million bucks in solid gold, Though Alan Brigham, the critic noted, The book as something awful voted. But the paper says that Alan's sore, And was out to get poor Cote's gore. And here I see that Elinor Crockett Is also much inclined to mock it, As she another book has writ Which she thinks better far than it. CWe read it and our sides did sp1it.j And in this corner here I Hnd A breakfast food from melon rind Has been evolved by Dorothy Knight, Although it doesn't taste quite right. It also states that Emily Deitz Is quite a star in swimming meets, Across the Channel she plies her way, Her trainer, Dickey-come what may- Who made his fame, beyond all doubt, By kicking a soccer ball about. Till Clarence Croto took his place Because he kicked with better grace. C .13 J .amaetfaafamgecaiewiage E73 EW EI3 W W El? W I