Central High School - Blue and White / Pnalka Yearbook (Springfield, MA)

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,,,- A . f f' -ia M ..... 'i?f-effg-ijfaws, ZIBEIZIIEIZIISIIEIISSIII BEIBJEIIIBIEIZIISIQI are W cw it m W E53 are 1 A O.-The next is the case of Miss Rose Lipman and Miss Fay Spiro. They are charged with being over efficient. Miss Spirofs efficiency takes the form of extreme thrift. After securing bargains on all the properties for the Senior Play, she actually wished to sell the left-overs at a profit. Miss Lipman is charged with being the most efficient as well as the best girl student in our classg that is too much! We expected more. J .eWe are sorry to say that little can be done about this. We may merely place on you, Miss Spiro, our Thrift Stamp of approval.-Miss Lipman, we suggest that this System magazine twined about your neck would forever distinguish you as the Ne plus ultra of executive ability. Next case. O.gThe defendants are Robert Weeks and Leon Sisitsky. These two young gentlemen are charged with being too highly colored. If they were to blush a shade more, we should have to call the Fire Department. J.-Mr. Sisitsky, you are charged with having too much local colorg so we present you a brush for the blush. Use one end for blushes easy to whiten, and the other end for blushes hard to whiten, etc.-Robert, we have heard before of rosy dawns, and rosy sunsets, but never before of whole weeks that were rosy. Accept from us Lydia Pinkham's pale pills for pink people-after every meal. Now, officer, let's have a case of Scotch. 0.-All right, your Honor. Mima Morison and Dorothy Dinsmore, please step forward. Miss Morison has a charge against her of being the best girl mixer, while Miss Dinsmore is charged with being the most popular girl. These charges were investigated and found true. J .-Miss Morison, as best mixer in the class, you must have to mix with a lot of eggs. Here we present you with'this little contrivance Cegg-beaterl to be used at your discretion. Remember-if the eggs fail to mix, the same machine may be used for beating.-Dot, we have here a song arranged especially for you from the Overture lo VVilliam. Tell, which contains the secret of your popularity. It is en- titled-I lV0nder lllhal Will Joe Sawlell. Next case. O.-The defendants are Miss Mary Flanaghan and Mr. Albert Yarlott. We understand that these two people came close to having a date together. Miss Flanaghan is charged by evidence of Yarlott's picture, which she possesses, of almost having a date, and Yarlott by the same evidence is charged with irrational behavior. J.-Mary, here are some dates Cstuffed datesj with some nuts, which we hope will furnish a welcome relief from one with Yarlott. And take it from me, Miss Flanaghan, at the time of their purchase, the court investigated, and found that those were some heavy dales.-Mr. Yarlott, this little flower has long been one which symbolizes eccentricities such as yours. Sweets to the sweet, crackers to the cracked, and daffodills to the daffy. Next case. O.-The case of Mr. Herbert Clough. He is accused of taking tickets at our dances instead of taking girls to them. Did he take a girl to our Prom? No, he took tickets. J .-Mr. Clough, lest you find it necessary to go without a companion to the next few dances, we have made arrangements for you to escort these tickets. Taxi fare need never worry you-you can go on a bicycle. Next. O.-The defendant is Mr. Robert Phillips. He is accused of being the most vociferous supporter of all our athletic teams. He even submits to the company of Matt Walsh and Bill in order to attend the games. C311 - , -mu - - .m.eE.-eQ-eQe W ETH EW Ei? W W EW El?

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af? 135' 4 we. f' 1.-f4.f'f' xi .Y .Aiv ZIIEIZIIEIZIIEIIEOIBSIII sm.ninllmuanalnauzlnali Eli E33 W W3 W 53 XXXXXXXX J llllllll O.-The next case is that of Gertrude Cohen and Hiag Piligian. Your Honor, these two young people are charged with being deviations from the normal type. You can easily see in what way I mean. Something should be done to sustain the law of averages. J.-Miss Cohen, you ought to add something to your weight, if not to your reputation. Here is the article which has helped Mr. Piligian. There's no denying it, he is a Mellin's Food baby.-Hiag, for your case, allow us to present you Nita Naldi's rules for reduction-to an absurdity. Officer, next case. O.-This case concerns Miss Elinor Crockett. This young lady is accused of working havoc among masculine hearts. In fact, when we consider her type, we wonder whether gentlemen prefer blondes or brunettes. Miss Crockett is known to have caused bitter rivalry among her male admirers. J.-Ah, Miss Crockett, the Queen of Hearts. As a penalty for your case, we wish that you would accept School Day Sweelhearls. Read and choose. Next. O.-The defendant is Arthur Nelson. He is charged with practically running away with the class ballot. He has been voted the most respected boy, the boy with the most pleasing personality, and at least six other things. There is also a charge against him of conspiring to become General Nelson by going to West Point. J .-If Central cannot have an Admiral Nelson, at least she can have a General Nelson. Officer, present him with his medals. Next. O.-The next case is that of Mr. Parker Remkus, who is charged with holding too many offices with too little effect. His zeal for offices is so great, that we marvel that the U. S. Post Office has escaped him. Something should be done to check his enthusiasm. ' J.-We are not sure, Mr. Remkus, whether or not you are superstitious, but, at least, here is a sign COFFICED that you believe in. Next. O.-eThe next case deals with Miss Eunice Denver and Mr. Alfred Mulliken. They are charged with having a mutual attraction for each other. lt is necessary that this attachment be discouraged, as Central's corridors are already over- crowded with love's young dream. J .-Miss Denver, in this little book you will find the life of' Alfred the Great. lf this mutual attraction must be discouraged, certainly we know of no better way.-Mr. Mulliken, after long and painstaking research, we are pleased to an- nounce that the United States Geological Survey, cooperating with Brown's Studio, has issued a new revised map of Denver. Next case. O.-This is a serious case. lt deals with the two original heroes of The Story of a Bad Boy-Russell Fairbanks and Dwight Walsh. They arc both too bad! J .-What two bad? O.-Yes, too bad! Fairbanks is too bad for the girls and Walsh is too bad for the boys! J .-Speaking of two bad, reminds me of two other eggs I know. They say there is no such thing as a pretty good egg. Mr. Walsh, step up, and accept with our compliments this twenty-minute egg. That, too, is hard boiled.-As for you, Russell, it seems that nothing will cure you, unless it is these prunes, which have fallen from the trees on Plum Tree Road, after being parked there too long with others of their kind. Next case. C305 ,FEE - - i-,MEE.ZEQ'AFQl5 E73 E33 Eli W W 53 W

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i : I' ' 1-.1 'u ZIIEIZIIEIZIIEIUEIIBSIIJ .Mllllillliilalillalil amz! W E53 W W3 W E73 573 J.-Mr. Phillips, your case is so slight that we have decided to give you a sus- pended sentence. Here is a pair of the most important of supporters Cpair of sus- pendersj. Next case. O.-Mr. Richard Sheldon is the defendant. He is charged with being the greatest sartorial triumph in our class. In fact, it is rumored that, to gain his effects, he has worn the carpet in front of his mirror at home to mere shreds. J .-Dick, this being the case, we present you this rug to go beneath that mirror. Better that the continuous tramplings of those two feet wear out both rug and carpet, than for you to have a single misplaced hair! Next. O.-The next case is that of Lelia Waller, Allen Cowett, and James Arthur Preu. The gentleman and lady in guestion-and also Mr. Preu-are accused of seriously interfering with other people's conversational rights. Mr. Preu gains his effect by force of vocabulary, and Mr. Cowett by force of volume alone, while Miss Waller makes herself conspicuous by vocabulary, volume, persistence and endurance. Put these three together, and the result is bedlam let loose. J .-A serious case this. The disease is fatal, at least to those exposed to anyone who has the mania. Mr. Cowett, here is a flat tire, on which you will kindly vent all superfluous hot air in the future. In case the tire is unable to stand the strain, we also present you a supply of patches.-Mr. Preu, if we had possession of your line, we'd start a telephone system, that would take the clapper out of the Bell Company. Here is a pulley for it. Drag it in at least once in a while.-Miss Waller, since nothing but isolation will ever cure your case, we had hoped to be able to present you a lease on a padded cell, far from the gadding crowd, for which, on presenting it to mine host, Sheriff Clark of the Wayside Inn on York Street, you might have been able to find the society where none intrude. This, however, was impossible. The detention palace was already crowded with other inmatesg so the best, or worst, we can do is give you, in despair, this record, Whafs lhe Use of Talking. Next. O.-The next case deals with Frank Zeo, who is accused of being, in spite of his protests, the cutest boy in our class. We'd like to know how he gets that way. J .-Well, Frank, all you have to do is answer the question in this little song, Where'd You Get Those Eyes? Next case. O.-The next and-last case concerns Miss Bose Clancy. She is accused of an undue propensity for holding hands, especially during the evening performances of S'Lady Ursulau was this fact noticed. J.-Ah, Rose, we see you have many palmy days ahead of you. Heh, heh! All we Wish to suggest is that you know your stuff. Here is a book of Palmistry. Yes, Rose, we've got to hand it to you. Court is dismissed. HOWARD SIMPSON ALLEN WEST f N I laiaiei - - - lei na - ,,m-ie-Eiieniiemie M EW FR W W 53 W g,. .,... .