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Page 185 text:
Another interesting affair of the diaphram is that of slow-talking Helen Finke, who seems determined to keep herself in the family at all costs. She progressed from last year ' s flame, Bill Fraser, to her this year ' s right arm, his duplicate brother, Richard. Investigation may decide whether she has made an improvement or not. At present even the fair lass herself wears a meditative expression. As the presses begin to roll, a new complication has arisen in the form and visage of K. A. -Brother Graves, who seems to be nosing out the whole Fraser family. Tommy Richardson (Chorus; He likes Judy, he likes Judy.) has divided his heart equally between (Chorus: (He likes Judy. He likes Judy.) the milk-white hands of (Chorus: He likes Judy. He likes Judy.) a luscious lady from that hilly country of Arkansas. (Chorus: Oh, darn that chorus.) His eyes hold the fire of a hill- billy troubadour when he sees (Chorus: He likes Judy. He likes . . . gurgle, gurgle supposedly illustrating a choking sound) the alluring face of . . . when he spies the heavenly eyes of . . . when he glimpses the di- vine form of . . . Aw, heck, we forgot her name. Romance reached a new level when it struck ittsy-bittsy Parry Stewart and not-so-ittsy-bittsy Dot Rippy. Just how she found a resemblance between Parry and her big-moment Kirkland of last season eludes us, but all kinds of things elude us so don ' t feel too badly. To get back to the subject (Chorus: For a change. Author: There ' s that damned thing again.) we have found that their favorite home is in the back seat of an automo- bile, anybody ' s auto, which only goes to show that blood is thicker than goose-grease, or you can ' t get ro- mance out of a turnip, or healthy, wealthy and wise a day keeps the doctor away, or who cares anyhow. Love number one, two, three, four, ad nausiam of Hall McCord is Hall McCord, preferably Hall McCord filled with the spiritous fermentus, which is bad Latin but good deduction. Prying away from his auto- biographical life temporarily, McCord retrieved that huge, glistening pin of his, and without waiting to polish it off bequeathed it upon a new display rack. Nice gal, too! By now we wish we had worn blinkers but even with those on the im.age of John Kurtz with Joy Clark haunts us. Everywhere we go we can still see them; sometimes it seems that they ' re everywhere, that ' s funny, they are. We can even be asleep and hear John making noise and Joy being quiet. Sometimes she gets so quiet that we feel that our eardrums are going to burst, but they never do. (Chorus: Aw, heck.) Sometimes she don ' t say so much of nothing that we feel that we ' re going crazy. (Author: Yah, fooled you that time.) Sometimes we think that we ' re never goinohn making noise and Joy being quiet. Sometimes (Author and Chorus: Thank God.) Compliments ot Louisiana Paper Co., Ltd. 225 CROCKETT Phone 6268 Compliments of GEORGE HADDAD M. L. Bath Company, Ltd. " Ask Anyone We Serve " 610 Market Phone 7141 Page 181 •
Page 184 text:
A Journalist Looks dt Life and Love And Wishes He Hadn ' t When a writer goes to town To settle up or settle down He ' s in his hay-day, But it ' s not payday. No one pays attention When the Dean signs his suspension And the campus is rid of another good bum. Ho hum. With this touching little ballad everyone should be well in the spirit of the thing, at least everyone but the author and he probably isn ' t even interested. Love, ' tis said, has its roots deep in the soul, but with some of the people it has attacked here it would probably be better illustrated by saying it has settled in the heels. First case we will illustrate is that well-known long and short of it. The reference is, of course, to that Don Juan of the campus, dashing Edgar Friedenberg and his beautious I ' amour Virginia Carlton. From our ob- servations, chief speculation seemed to center around whether he came up to her waist or not. By painful methods we have concluded that he does come to her waist, but that he has to duck when he dances with her to avoid getting hit in the head. • Page 180
Page 186 text:
The Greeks Get In Our Hair No ioreword being necessary we ' ll omit this and stagger on into the bleeding bulk ot this unwholesome bunch, who sold their birthright toi a mess ot porridge, and some mess it was, and a fifteen-buck fraternity pin. Alpha Xi Delta This illustrious sisterhood was notably lacking in feminine pulchritude but top heavy with voting power. They threw their hefty carcasses wholeheartedly into the task of intimidating the lowly Frosh and the still more lowly football lugs until they emerged from the cess-pool of politics to find themselves the proud mothers of: one slightly battered but fairly intact Sponsor of the Yoncopin and May Queen; one loud but low Presi- dent in the person, or mouth, of Cornelia Row; one peroxide blonde Drum Major with no other points than a shiny baton; a cheerleader who possessed no particular features worth mentioning; two class officers of whom the less said the better; one beauty, Mary Ella Bartschmi d, who was beautiful but dumb, but, un- fortunately, not dumb enough. Chi Omega The bottom dropped out of Chi O this year though from the looks of some of them you ' d feel that it would never be missed. There were plenty of them here, but none of them quite all there. Their political crimes consist of: Mary Murff, who was an awfully snooty-beauty; Joy Clark, who would have won the Spon- sor Contest if she could have persuaded the other candidates to withdraw; Sis and Tibby, who both proudly displayed K. A. pins, which caused shivers of apprehension to run up every good Zeta ' s spine; one Osborn of the Kitty Jane, or common, variety; Sarah Williams, who was so darned nice that we couldn ' t think of a thing nasty to say about her; Aloyese Thorne, who was smart enough to get out of the organization and choose a fate-worse-than-death. (She got married). More parentheses — we hope. Zeta Tau Alpha Peak-reachers of the year in bringing politics to the greatest point of dirtiness is this smirking little group. Next year they will proudly present all of their this year ' s loot as inducements to Frosh who will probably be suckers enough to bite. Prospective chumps will be shown: Miss Centenary of ' 37; Queen Hutchinson of Homecoming whose glory may, or may not (who knows) (who cares) be mostly due to the shrewd election- eering of the beau-of-the-moment Hooper who tossed a litter of football signatures into her ballot box, the same applies to Nellie ' s Most Popular Girl conquest; President of the W. A. A. Genevieve Miller who bossed that scrawny association; and maybe, they will also illustrate their method of voting several times by writ- ing backwards. • Page 182 •
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