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Page 184 text:
A Journalist Looks dt Life and Love And Wishes He Hadn ' t When a writer goes to town To settle up or settle down He ' s in his hay-day, But it ' s not payday. No one pays attention When the Dean signs his suspension And the campus is rid of another good bum. Ho hum. With this touching little ballad everyone should be well in the spirit of the thing, at least everyone but the author and he probably isn ' t even interested. Love, ' tis said, has its roots deep in the soul, but with some of the people it has attacked here it would probably be better illustrated by saying it has settled in the heels. First case we will illustrate is that well-known long and short of it. The reference is, of course, to that Don Juan of the campus, dashing Edgar Friedenberg and his beautious I ' amour Virginia Carlton. From our ob- servations, chief speculation seemed to center around whether he came up to her waist or not. By painful methods we have concluded that he does come to her waist, but that he has to duck when he dances with her to avoid getting hit in the head. • Page 180
Page 183 text:
Hall oi Blame Rosenblath, because she looks like an overstuffed plush horse prancing on the football field, because she thinks that those peroxide locks, that baby-doll pout, and that whiny voice do as much for her as they do for Jean Harlow, because she can ' t dance in step with the orchestra, because she tried and tried and still couldn ' t get her picture taken with Stokes, because she went off with the aforementioned Stokes, and left McCord flat (which might have been a stroke of genius at that) and because she is a living demonstration that the earth- worm isn ' t the only thing that can get along without? ? ? Roy Montgomery, because he tries to be collegiate when he leads a cheer and only succeeds in looking like a duck-billed Platapus, because the girls think he ' s " sweet, " because he firmly believes he ' s a campus Big Shot, because he wore his Sunday suit to school during Popularity contest week, because he ' s President of the T.K.N.s, because he likes to " organize " things — witness the Maroon Shirts, because he was put up for King of the Donkeypen and didn ' t even get that, because when he gets an idea it leaves him practically il- literate ( " Sing as you have never SANG before " ), and because he ' s one of those harmless but unpleasant little insects that are always underfoot and that nobody likes to have around. Jo Beth, because she calls herself Rosie by virtue of her ex-blond hair and her little sister pin (don ' t look now but that gives her the idea that she ' s the original Kappa Alpha rose), because she wore a hole in the bookstore counter trying to attract Johnnie Van ' s attention, because she has to think up silly jokes to get people to hold her hand, because she wants to be a big shot and can ' t quite make the grade, because she thinks being Stormy ' s little sister counts, (it does but not that way), and most of all because she can ' t take it when somebody makes a crack at her. Hall McCord, because he takes encores he doesn ' t get on Kollege Kaper trips, because he changes girls every week and declares each new flame is his true love, because he couldn ' t hold his own in geology lab., because he shines as fragrantly as that second-hand horse blanket, with sleeves, he insists on wearing, because of his unsophisticated attempts at sophistication, because he gives his opinion freely and unsolicited in spite of the fact that he never knows what he is talking about, because he corners profs and tries to im- press them with his outstanding (?) abilities, and finally because he just is. Page 179
Page 185 text:
Another interesting affair of the diaphram is that of slow-talking Helen Finke, who seems determined to keep herself in the family at all costs. She progressed from last year ' s flame, Bill Fraser, to her this year ' s right arm, his duplicate brother, Richard. Investigation may decide whether she has made an improvement or not. At present even the fair lass herself wears a meditative expression. As the presses begin to roll, a new complication has arisen in the form and visage of K. A. -Brother Graves, who seems to be nosing out the whole Fraser family. Tommy Richardson (Chorus; He likes Judy, he likes Judy.) has divided his heart equally between (Chorus: (He likes Judy. He likes Judy.) the milk-white hands of (Chorus: He likes Judy. He likes Judy.) a luscious lady from that hilly country of Arkansas. (Chorus: Oh, darn that chorus.) His eyes hold the fire of a hill- billy troubadour when he sees (Chorus: He likes Judy. He likes . . . gurgle, gurgle supposedly illustrating a choking sound) the alluring face of . . . when he spies the heavenly eyes of . . . when he glimpses the di- vine form of . . . Aw, heck, we forgot her name. Romance reached a new level when it struck ittsy-bittsy Parry Stewart and not-so-ittsy-bittsy Dot Rippy. Just how she found a resemblance between Parry and her big-moment Kirkland of last season eludes us, but all kinds of things elude us so don ' t feel too badly. To get back to the subject (Chorus: For a change. Author: There ' s that damned thing again.) we have found that their favorite home is in the back seat of an automo- bile, anybody ' s auto, which only goes to show that blood is thicker than goose-grease, or you can ' t get ro- mance out of a turnip, or healthy, wealthy and wise a day keeps the doctor away, or who cares anyhow. Love number one, two, three, four, ad nausiam of Hall McCord is Hall McCord, preferably Hall McCord filled with the spiritous fermentus, which is bad Latin but good deduction. Prying away from his auto- biographical life temporarily, McCord retrieved that huge, glistening pin of his, and without waiting to polish it off bequeathed it upon a new display rack. Nice gal, too! By now we wish we had worn blinkers but even with those on the im.age of John Kurtz with Joy Clark haunts us. Everywhere we go we can still see them; sometimes it seems that they ' re everywhere, that ' s funny, they are. We can even be asleep and hear John making noise and Joy being quiet. Sometimes she gets so quiet that we feel that our eardrums are going to burst, but they never do. (Chorus: Aw, heck.) Sometimes she don ' t say so much of nothing that we feel that we ' re going crazy. (Author: Yah, fooled you that time.) Sometimes we think that we ' re never goinohn making noise and Joy being quiet. Sometimes (Author and Chorus: Thank God.) Compliments ot Louisiana Paper Co., Ltd. 225 CROCKETT Phone 6268 Compliments of GEORGE HADDAD M. L. Bath Company, Ltd. " Ask Anyone We Serve " 610 Market Phone 7141 Page 181 •
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