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Page 183 text:
Hall oi Blame Rosenblath, because she looks like an overstuffed plush horse prancing on the football field, because she thinks that those peroxide locks, that baby-doll pout, and that whiny voice do as much for her as they do for Jean Harlow, because she can ' t dance in step with the orchestra, because she tried and tried and still couldn ' t get her picture taken with Stokes, because she went off with the aforementioned Stokes, and left McCord flat (which might have been a stroke of genius at that) and because she is a living demonstration that the earth- worm isn ' t the only thing that can get along without? ? ? Roy Montgomery, because he tries to be collegiate when he leads a cheer and only succeeds in looking like a duck-billed Platapus, because the girls think he ' s " sweet, " because he firmly believes he ' s a campus Big Shot, because he wore his Sunday suit to school during Popularity contest week, because he ' s President of the T.K.N.s, because he likes to " organize " things — witness the Maroon Shirts, because he was put up for King of the Donkeypen and didn ' t even get that, because when he gets an idea it leaves him practically il- literate ( " Sing as you have never SANG before " ), and because he ' s one of those harmless but unpleasant little insects that are always underfoot and that nobody likes to have around. Jo Beth, because she calls herself Rosie by virtue of her ex-blond hair and her little sister pin (don ' t look now but that gives her the idea that she ' s the original Kappa Alpha rose), because she wore a hole in the bookstore counter trying to attract Johnnie Van ' s attention, because she has to think up silly jokes to get people to hold her hand, because she wants to be a big shot and can ' t quite make the grade, because she thinks being Stormy ' s little sister counts, (it does but not that way), and most of all because she can ' t take it when somebody makes a crack at her. Hall McCord, because he takes encores he doesn ' t get on Kollege Kaper trips, because he changes girls every week and declares each new flame is his true love, because he couldn ' t hold his own in geology lab., because he shines as fragrantly as that second-hand horse blanket, with sleeves, he insists on wearing, because of his unsophisticated attempts at sophistication, because he gives his opinion freely and unsolicited in spite of the fact that he never knows what he is talking about, because he corners profs and tries to im- press them with his outstanding (?) abilities, and finally because he just is. Page 179
Page 182 text:
, The ... Kluef of tha DoT I(e5|)e " n H. .ARK YE to His Illustrious Majesty, His Most Dandruffless Highness, His Exceedingly Exceeded Royal Personage, His Hairless Master of The Realm of The Shining Dome, — Dana Dawson, Jr. This Peer of the Realm possesses beauty unexcelled, charm unequaled, grace undisputed, personality un- contested, romance unwanted, smiles unsmiled, and hair ungrown. His noble profile starts at the nape of his neck and runs around and around, his is the loftiest brow of the campus, and his is the title of King of the Donkeypen. • Page 178 •
Page 184 text:
A Journalist Looks dt Life and Love And Wishes He Hadn ' t When a writer goes to town To settle up or settle down He ' s in his hay-day, But it ' s not payday. No one pays attention When the Dean signs his suspension And the campus is rid of another good bum. Ho hum. With this touching little ballad everyone should be well in the spirit of the thing, at least everyone but the author and he probably isn ' t even interested. Love, ' tis said, has its roots deep in the soul, but with some of the people it has attacked here it would probably be better illustrated by saying it has settled in the heels. First case we will illustrate is that well-known long and short of it. The reference is, of course, to that Don Juan of the campus, dashing Edgar Friedenberg and his beautious I ' amour Virginia Carlton. From our ob- servations, chief speculation seemed to center around whether he came up to her waist or not. By painful methods we have concluded that he does come to her waist, but that he has to duck when he dances with her to avoid getting hit in the head. • Page 180
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