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Page 184 text:
THE DONKEYPEN Donkeypen Almanack l935-:t» Anno Domini ffeESHMJVN tO t ftfUftft Now let Centenary ' s paean swell And fill the breeze (see if we care), U ith the school term gone to — well And classrooms are of the students bare. A year has passed and gone its way With joy and glory in the air. The scholars came and went astray And got into all of our hair. We laughed at you through all the year It ' s funny so we ' re laughing still You thought you fooled your teachers dear. Our laughter rings from hill to hill. You ' ve been so many kinds of fools As through all your pranks you ran. In the hands of Fate so many tools Oh, Sally, please pass your fan. 1 1 this is verse, it is the worst Thai ever fell from ink and pen. But your jokes were lousey first So take your medicine like men! SEPTEMBER 18 — Registration began; Fresh- men football players parted company with their hair; the first chapel speaker blared at length; Texas and other surrounding states had a wind storm; C. A. Tooke started slapping backs in preparation for Rush Week; and classes started. SEPTEMBER 27— " Big Boy " Fraser a n d " Tiny " Nelson were chosen to manager the band; " Kike " Morgan began lording it over the Freshman footballers; Elizabeth Sum- mers vented her spleen by writing the year ' s first Reptile; the Maroon Jackets were presented in chapel; and Centenary ' s Gents clawed the Louisiana College Wild- cats in a 21-0 season opener. OCTOBER 4 — Jane Grey was chosen to edit the Conglomerate; the Zetas got out their hatchets and started looking for heads in which to bury them ; Helen Finke was elected Band Sweetheart; Rush Week ended and tired sisters gasped; and it rained. OCTOBER 11 — Sibley tried to bellow a tennis club into being by sheer lung power; Fresh- man I. Q.s were given; all the wood in town was sacrificed to the God of Football at a big pep meeting; and Ed Tillery got a hair cut. Three barbers fainted. OCTOBER 18 — Bill Harris was elected Presi- dent of the Sophomores; the cornerstone was set up and a Freshie asked, " Where I ICO ]
Page 183 text:
THE DONKEYPEN Bnekstage wiih The Donkey HOMER PHILPOT is the main prop of the Centenary Ministerial Students. He is a regular con- tributor to that illustrious sheet of the proletaians — the Conglom- erate. He says, " I pay annual vis- its to my home in Arkansas which I enjoy mainly because of the prospects of my return to a safer and saner Louisiana. " CHARLES RATHBURN is one of the younger authors who has a bitter hatred of women. His life is an astude one. He rises at sun- rise and from then until the wee hours of the morning hunts with his trusty musket that flighty quarry, he fair sex. ROY ROBERTSON whose arti- cle, " Ten Ways to Become Con- ceited, " appears in this issue, is a gentleman of the Old South and wears white shoes in fall just to assert his belief in the rights of man. VIRGINIA CARLTON is a book worm of the wormiest sort. She, too. is a contributor of the Con- glomerate and next to the cigarette advertisements her tidbits of his- tory are the most interesting fea- ture in the paper. VERA SHUTE In ( " The Chi Omega Blues " ) states regarding her experiences, " My first six months as President were hard, after that it was harder. " Shute is an ardent tennis player and has attempted to spice up the game by playing it on horseback. JAMES S. GREENE whose book on " Blank Verse and Blanker Minds " achieved such unusual popularity is with us again. His iatestis " Baloney, Oh Divinity. " NORMAN WOODY claims that he was inspired by the sight of the garbage man to write his po- etic theme of the month, but we say, " Why blame it on the poor garbage man? " LAWRENCE SCOTT a would be football player who lived it down to reach success. Despite the terrible handicaps of being a failure and a Sigma Phi, Scott has risen to heights of popularity in the world of society envied by his brethren. His offering is " How I Done It. " WARREN BOURDIER is our Discovery of the Year. His first published story appears in this is- sue with " Bushy Hair On My Head. " Bourdier says his inspira- tion for this splendid piece came from the old quotation, " Blubble, Blubble, Blubble. " (10 came, I grew, and here I am). EDDIE RAILSBACK, that mas- ter teller of fiction, again crashes through with a great fabrication in his new story, " The Liar. " Railsback says he owes his fame to his constant practice in " tall tales. " JACK MARSTON and SHIR- LEY SIMMONS, both of whom spend all their time in their iso- lated laboratory in Jackson Hall hating everything and each other, sizzle in with " bah, Bah, BAH! " EDGAR FIEDENBERG, who made Einstein ' s hair turn gray with his " Cosmic Ray vs. Mae West " book, now sends a touching love story to grace the pages of this issue. His story is " Love Over the Chessboard. " HOWARD GATES is a home town boy who made good. His suc- cess story reads like a boow — an empty check book. He is third as- sistant cheer leader of the assist- ant substitute cheering squad. SPORT-SCRIBBLERS STAGG PRINCE are here again with their graphic story of the leading man in the flea circus. In case you wish to see this unique little actor look on Prince ' s neck. ROBERT CAILLETEAU is a recently discovered young artist. Speaking of his cometlike rise to fame " Kito " says, " Five years ago I didn ' t have a nickle; today I ' ve got a nickle. " BEVERLEY COOPER made the leap from Buddy Sparks to cartoons, which is, after al,l not so far to leap. She also draws the whiskers on the girls on the Camel bill posters. NELSON BARNETTE was in- tended for the bar but, after six years in Commerce 2., decided against a legal career. " Anyway, " he argues, " I probably wouldn ' t have been a very good lawyer. " JAMES SERRA is a blonde Yankee affected with egobania. He tosses " How I Revised the Constitution " into this issue for better or worse. His impassioned plea — titled, " Free Conglomerates for a Free People, " will live ON- On-on. [ 179 ]
Page 185 text:
THE DONKEYPEN did they get that big ash tray? " ; the Freshman election was contested because it smelled like dead fish ; and the Gents hap- pened to beat the Aggies by one point. OCTOBER 20 — The columns were officially christened with paint and brush; the col- umns were officially unchristened with soap and water; Oscar Baily was elected Freshman Class President; an ill timed Stu- dent Opinion letter chapped Jimmy Serra; a nd the Fair opened. OCTOBER 26 — T. C. U. took charge of the Gents; Hotz Harton threw the baton up and actually caught it; and the governor considered makin it a state holiday. Ghost writer does famous " non entity " letter. NOVEMBER 8 — Taylor was elected Home-com- ing Queen ; Serra became President of the Senior Class; Hooper wiggled in as Presi- dent of the Juniors; and the T. K. N.s had a triumphant procession. Edna Earle real- ized that she was a big shot and proceeded to tell the campus about it. NOVEMBER 16 — Homecomers came home; Baylor tore the Gents limb from limb; Old Grads tore their scanty locks at the horri- ble sight; Shaw scratched his fuzzy scalp and wondered how he slipped up in his choice of an opponent; and Ina Ray Hutton selected the beauties. Parker reported she won. DECEMBER 17 — The Constitutional Committee met and exchanged guarded complements; Kollege Kapers capered in Waskom to open the season; K. A.s swamped Lambdas in the Water Bowl game and refused an offer to meet Army; Tooke was elected Chairman of the Interfraternity Council; and the de- baters started getting their lungs in train- ing. DECEMBER 25 — MERRY CHRISTMAS. JANUARY 17 — Hugh Stephens outbellowed his competitors to win She State Oratorical Contest; K. A. ' s copped the Frat Gridiron Championship; the Gents won the first basketball contest of the season from Lou- isiana College; and Kollege Kapers left to inflict themselves on the innocents of sur- rounding territory. FEBRUARY 1 — The Students were asked Their opinion of the Donkey Pen ; every- one was " af eared " to talk; the " student body leaders " gave stereotyped, moth- eaten opinions and eacb took credit for originating them; two Freshman girls wrote a May Fete and the Conglomerate became the Collegiate Press ' best customer; the Debating team challenged Pittsburgh to ar- gue or wrestle with them; and Bob Decker got another chance to play " Tarzan on the Basketball Court. " FEBRUARY 14 — Doctor French spoke in Chapel; the Sponsor Contest started; War- ren Graves flunked Math.; Peroxide Helen Rosenblath looked confidently around for a good picture to put on the sponsor page; Edna Earle pasted a grin on her face and started looking for voters; both got their pictures in the paper; and Haywood sold all the ads and collected all the votes. MARCH 7 — Haywood won the sponsor contest; Edna Earle ' s grin went sour; Rosenblath hid her head in shame; Billy Eatmen bought a new pipe; Billy Eatman smoked a new pipe; Billy Eatman got sick on a new pipe; Billy Eatman discarded a new pipe. MARCH 15 — Betty Lane Grigsby succeeded Gatti as President of the Alpha Xi ' s; friends extended sympathy; the Gents almost smeared a group of Oklahoma boxers off the map; and the Chess Club started chess- ing. Continued on Page 191. Continued on Page 191 [ 181 ]
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