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Page 182 text:
THE DONKEYPEN Impossible Interview No. 89645 Miss Yoiicopin vs. Mr. Donkey pen DONKEYPEN: Hiya, Toots, whatya so cold about? Why not give a guy a break? YONCOPIN: Bah, who are you, you rough neck? You ' re just a lot of dirt. I ' m an intellectual. You notice they put you among the ads as sort of an after thought. DONKEYPEN: Yeah, well look here, Snooty, if it wasn ' t for the ads there wouldn ' t be any yearbook and as for me, well I ' m the only thing that is read. YONCOPIN: Well you are awful big and strong. DONKEY- PEN: You betcha and that ain ' t all. Did you see how the big-shots around here fear me? I ' m plenty tough. YONCOPIN: (weakening, yet hesitant) But, you do follow me. DONKEYPEN: That ' s because I ' m nuts over you, kid. I ' ve been following you for years just hoping you ' d give me a break. YONCO- PIN: (proudly) But the school couldn ' t get along without me. DONKEYPIN: Neither can I. Why don ' t we form a merger? How about it, cutie? YONCO- PIN: (weakening faster) We-11— DONKEYPEN: (pressing his point in- sistantly) Well? YONCOPIN: (dewy eyed) and softly) Yes. Editor ' s Note: And they lived happily ever after — and all that and that.
Page 181 text:
1936 FICTION. SPORTS. HUMOR CLOTHES. ART. CARTOONS .... INVALUABLE. FOOLS ARTICLES HOKEKPrtlLPOT CwfSS, RfVTHBURN Rov Robertson VERA Sbute o FICTION EDote RfMLSBACK EoqRK FRIEDEN8ERC, U WR£NCE SCOTT WfcWKEH BoURO ER , POETRY J ME-£ S- C REENE Normrn Woopy SAT I Re J CK MARSTON SH RLEy SlMKONS Howard QfYTES SPORTS Phillip Stro,o, CARTOONS RoBT. CfMLLtTE U BevePkLv Cooper NELSON BfXRHETTt
Page 183 text:
THE DONKEYPEN Bnekstage wiih The Donkey HOMER PHILPOT is the main prop of the Centenary Ministerial Students. He is a regular con- tributor to that illustrious sheet of the proletaians — the Conglom- erate. He says, " I pay annual vis- its to my home in Arkansas which I enjoy mainly because of the prospects of my return to a safer and saner Louisiana. " CHARLES RATHBURN is one of the younger authors who has a bitter hatred of women. His life is an astude one. He rises at sun- rise and from then until the wee hours of the morning hunts with his trusty musket that flighty quarry, he fair sex. ROY ROBERTSON whose arti- cle, " Ten Ways to Become Con- ceited, " appears in this issue, is a gentleman of the Old South and wears white shoes in fall just to assert his belief in the rights of man. VIRGINIA CARLTON is a book worm of the wormiest sort. She, too. is a contributor of the Con- glomerate and next to the cigarette advertisements her tidbits of his- tory are the most interesting fea- ture in the paper. VERA SHUTE In ( " The Chi Omega Blues " ) states regarding her experiences, " My first six months as President were hard, after that it was harder. " Shute is an ardent tennis player and has attempted to spice up the game by playing it on horseback. JAMES S. GREENE whose book on " Blank Verse and Blanker Minds " achieved such unusual popularity is with us again. His iatestis " Baloney, Oh Divinity. " NORMAN WOODY claims that he was inspired by the sight of the garbage man to write his po- etic theme of the month, but we say, " Why blame it on the poor garbage man? " LAWRENCE SCOTT a would be football player who lived it down to reach success. Despite the terrible handicaps of being a failure and a Sigma Phi, Scott has risen to heights of popularity in the world of society envied by his brethren. His offering is " How I Done It. " WARREN BOURDIER is our Discovery of the Year. His first published story appears in this is- sue with " Bushy Hair On My Head. " Bourdier says his inspira- tion for this splendid piece came from the old quotation, " Blubble, Blubble, Blubble. " (10 came, I grew, and here I am). EDDIE RAILSBACK, that mas- ter teller of fiction, again crashes through with a great fabrication in his new story, " The Liar. " Railsback says he owes his fame to his constant practice in " tall tales. " JACK MARSTON and SHIR- LEY SIMMONS, both of whom spend all their time in their iso- lated laboratory in Jackson Hall hating everything and each other, sizzle in with " bah, Bah, BAH! " EDGAR FIEDENBERG, who made Einstein ' s hair turn gray with his " Cosmic Ray vs. Mae West " book, now sends a touching love story to grace the pages of this issue. His story is " Love Over the Chessboard. " HOWARD GATES is a home town boy who made good. His suc- cess story reads like a boow — an empty check book. He is third as- sistant cheer leader of the assist- ant substitute cheering squad. SPORT-SCRIBBLERS STAGG PRINCE are here again with their graphic story of the leading man in the flea circus. In case you wish to see this unique little actor look on Prince ' s neck. ROBERT CAILLETEAU is a recently discovered young artist. Speaking of his cometlike rise to fame " Kito " says, " Five years ago I didn ' t have a nickle; today I ' ve got a nickle. " BEVERLEY COOPER made the leap from Buddy Sparks to cartoons, which is, after al,l not so far to leap. She also draws the whiskers on the girls on the Camel bill posters. NELSON BARNETTE was in- tended for the bar but, after six years in Commerce 2., decided against a legal career. " Anyway, " he argues, " I probably wouldn ' t have been a very good lawyer. " JAMES SERRA is a blonde Yankee affected with egobania. He tosses " How I Revised the Constitution " into this issue for better or worse. His impassioned plea — titled, " Free Conglomerates for a Free People, " will live ON- On-on. [ 179 ]
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