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Page 182 text:
DONKEYPiN BEAUTIES Selected by Mrs HX Van Slii j Astorfelt The Donkeypin presents for your disapproval the Donkeypin Beauties. Selected by that well-known cattle judge, and auth sr of that recent bonk on the care of animals, Mrs. John Van Slip Astorfelt. The staff feels gratified in the selection of the beauties by Mrs. Astorfelt, as she is well qualified in this line of work. We were only able to secure Mrs. Astorfelt because of her desire for publicity. This well-known has recently returned from a cattle-judging tour of the west, where she stayed until the cows came home. After her selection of the beauties she departed for England to inspect the king ' s horses. In brief, Mrs. Astorfelt gave the following reasons for her selections: Grade " A " No. 13131313 was selected because of that distinguished type of pulchritude common in Hereford cattle. No. 3.2% was selected because of that mellow, innocent, burping type common to old billiard drinkers. Exhibit " B " No. cooo was chosen because of the profile made famous by Durante. Mrs. Astorfelt in her selection of No. 100 Proof and No. 8-3800-J stated that she selected them because of their latest Parisian coif- fures, which is the latest thing in the braiding id horses ' tails. No. 2264 ' _• possesses that type of beautv which is very uncommon (or common) in the decoration of the queen ' s mules. 74
Page 181 text:
?r sonW s° ' lovjl 3 " Here we have gathered together a few of those males who have been bitten by the Honey Bee and in some cases not only bitten but partly consumed by the insect. The only reason that they can offer is the romantic atmosphere around the school and their romantic inner soul which compels them to have the companionship of one of the fairer sex. The nearby drug stores offer their approval, as their fountain business has increased steadily. 173
Page 183 text:
Popularity Promoters We elect your candidate in any contest FRAT COMBINES OUR SPECIALTY For reference see any contest winner of this year KETCHUM FIXEM INCORPORATED " Gici " Palmer, President Mabel Kemp, lice-President Vance Hancock, Secretary Advice to the Love- Worn Can ' t you get your man? Does he stumb!e and falter when you have him at the CRUCIAL MOMENT? If you have answered " yes " to these questions, you undoubtedly have X. E. PERHAPS YOU NEED A NEW LINE SEE OVERTON " have fooled a hundred " First Class Math Coac Done Cheaply ED TILLERY hing Major in first-term Freshman math Do you stutter and stammer when bumming a Cig arette If you do, see PRESTON THOMPSON " The man who has bummed a million " Are You Embarrassed When you face the faculty committee? Do you have the jitters ? Do you h ave that sinking feeling? See me for instruction in POKER-FACE TECHNIQUE MARTHA McDADE " I HAVE FACED THEM ALL " Have You Insomnia? ARE YOUR SNORES MEANINGLESS? Front-Row Class-Sleeping My Specialty BEYNON CHEESMAN The Man Wi ' h the Musical Snore PUBLICITY AGENT First-C1ass Cheafi Publicity Cheaft MIRIAM SMITH REFERENCES: See any good Alpha Xi Delta Does Your Chair Slip WHEN YOU TRY TO SIT ON PORCHES? See us for Expert coaching in porch sitting Our studio is located Directly across from the campus Apply to kk HOTZ " HARTON HEAD PORCH SITTER
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