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Page 261 text:
and finally landed in the concrete steps of the K. A. House. Going across the street, he found the Zeta Deltas and the T. K. N. ' s piled all in one heap. They were all gloriously happy and were laughing in each other ' s faces. Emily Dean Odom and Alvern Adams were the center of attraction. They were both fighting over the same man, — a big one. About that time, two or three K. A. ' s came out and were terribly em- barrassed at the condition of these riotous persons, and they went back in and shut the doors. The Collegian was rudely awakened by the bray of an early rising donkey. " Each One a Woman, Brave and Strong. " That ' s what I call a nice fighting spirit. Now this is one organization that runs true to form. In fact some of the truest forms ever witnessed are right in their midst. I am told that the Chi Delta ' s had a meeting the last term of school in a regular house with wall paper and everything. Miriam Huff kept reach- ing for the gears and the brake, but finally managed to pull through with- out tearing her hair or even rougeing her lips for five or ten minutes. It was decided that every third meeting should be held in a building, instead of a car, if the weather was too bad. But then they decided not to have any more meetings, so it wasn ' t any use. It ' s time to quit talking of these things they call fraternities. talk for themselves, boisterously. They I hear that the college is offering a sctiolarship next year to the person that guesses nearest to the exact date upon which the " Conglomerate " will appear during the first two months. To guess within fourteen days gives the contestant ten votes, within thirteen, fifteen votes and so on. It is rather complex, for the contestant must not only state the date upon which the paper will appear, but he must also make a stab in the dark as to what date the illustrous publication will bear. Example: I, ., state that the Conglomerate will appear November 1, 1928, bearing the date June 6, 1928. " A tight race is predicted, " said Mr. Khoury of the Times. Forsooth, Accliabiades, what ap- parition approacheth us? Nay, Nay, friend Damso, ' tis but the spirit of unconscious youth. Some people go on house parties, but then, — some don ' t.
Page 260 text:
' Al.5l 3M99 BOOK BACKS. SET OF HANDSOMELY TOOLED LEATHER. BOOK- BACl S TO BE ATTACHED WITH THUMB TACKiT. WALL. Of. CEILING. ALL. AUTHORS PRICE P£P YARD £ WH a1 4- NAMES IN _ CLASSES TO OAV. ' OUT- Second HAND f iLip te-pth, I L! . I o t THIS WAY OUT. ' WELL SAID WlU?U(c,A5 HE ADJUSTED THE TIE ON HARRY ' S DINNER JACKET, TWR-UST HIS ARMS INTO BILL ' S FOR COAT, DASHED OUT TO JACK ' S CAH, WITH JIM ' S MONEY, TO TAKE QfORGf ' S GlRt- OUT ° ' M 4 REAL. FRATEP N ' TY MAN ATW5T. ' "
Page 262 text:
An Intercepted Letter from An Almost Alumnus Dear Old Whatnot, Another eon has passed to mark one moie monument in the progress of our dear old Alma Mater; days never to be recalled again in this course of life (thank God) ; pleasures and pain, too (ha! ha!, meaning a stupid laugh) have combined to form an ever living picture, etc., etc., — ad infinitum, — ad nauseam. Perhaps I should have continued the above spasm for your intellectual and senti- mental benefit. You may obtain the whole grind, verbatim, from any commencement speaker or most any of those persons who bear the tit le of " chapel speaker. " There has been a great deal of agitation over chapel conduct this, — er, — year; it seems as if the ' dear children " (that are loved, one and all, and who ask questions about God being in trees) are unable to grasp the real, elevating opportunity that these momen- tous exercises offer. I know they are elevating and momentous because it was an- nounced in chapel. To make a long story as long as possible, I will hereby recite a few of those mental elements that have been observed this, — er, — year. Some of these things have prob- ably been already observed in that organ of culture, " The Conglomerate, " so my effort will probably prove a comparatively colorless portrayal. Don ' t deny you ' re interested in intellectual food such as this, — all people are; I know because it was announced in chapel. All student offices have been successfully filled by competent or corpulent per- sons; it really doesn ' t matter which. Congratulations went to the seniors for having officers all the year: sophomores, freshmen and juniors finally railroaded enough stu- dents through to provide the three, nominal offices, on March 30th (this was after pledge week, the date set by fraternities so T. K. N. captured most of the honors). Classroom stupidity seems to have maintained its average; I thought once or twice it would reach the peak of perfection. There ' s a movement on foot, I hear to provide solitary confinement for that group which might be called " offensive morons. " You know, — that brave type of individual who dominates the class room atmosphere with his astonishing advancements of profound thought; who gleefully places his finger on the key-note of the problem and reveals the lighted path to his denser class mates and instructor; and finally, that docile type of donkey who has faintly realized the posses- sion of a brain,, which realization completely upsets his " mental " equiibrium to the ex- tent that he is ever portraying bits of revolutionary ethics that only a child of 12 could grasp. On with the confinement! I started to address this letter " Dear Dirty " and sign it " Affectionately your, Knobby " , but, you know, I just can ' t impose upon the stupidity of the dear student body. They couldn ' t understand an instrument patterned after that illustrous column. (They ' ve been trying to all year). After deciding to write to you, it ' s not such a strain to reach the other level. There has been added to the campus organizations this year, one sorority and one fraternity. Making a grand total of nine such things. Thus, with an average mem- bership of 20, with a student body of 550 there will be as many youths lured to their
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