Carnegie High School - Voyager Yearbook (Carnegie, PA)

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iii s. The Class Prophecy. I walked with well directed steps in the Woods of Avernus, searching for the golden branch, my only key to Hades, the one gift that would appease the fair Proserpine, queen of the underworld. At last I saw the golden bough shining through the green leaves as Apollo directed his rays upon it. The Fates had decreed that I should find and pluck the golden bough, accessible only to those who hold the high favor of the gods and without which no mortal can enter the underworld. I plucked the golden branch, sought the Lake of Avernus and, having found the cave, descended to its lowest depths. My companion was the Sibyl, the prophetess, who was to direct me to the realms of Pluto. With a movement of her hand she bade me follow her. We entered a dimly lighted cave from which the frightful shades of those who had been, were seeking the River Styx. Suddenly we came to the river which the prophetess said was the Styx. It was a difficult task for any mortal to cross the River Styx, and the spirits of unburied bodies were doomed to wander on this side of the Styx for a hundred years. Charon poled his gray, time-worn, leaky barge toward us. When Charon drew near he stopped and challenged, What manner of mortal art thou that contaminatest these Stygian shores? What sort of plot hast thou formed against our beautiful queen, the fair Proserpine? The Sibyl easily convinced Charon that we meant no evil and he conveyed us safely across the River Styx. The sight that greeted us on the other side turned my blood cold with fear. Cerberus, a horrible three-headed dog with evil-looking serpents entwined about his head, guarded the door to Hades. From the depths of his terrible throats blood- curdling sounds came forth. It was an easy task for the Sibyl to toss Cerberus a morsel of bread drugged with poppy seeds. Soon the horrible monster lay stretched out in a death-like sleep and we hastened our steps on to the Elysian Fields. My wandering gaze soon found the object of my search, the High Prophet- Kenneth Hartz. After a hearty greeting we received permission to ascend the highest peak of the Elysian Fields, that we might look down upon the plains and see the doings of all mortals. The Prophet had to return to Hades before the last rays of Apollo had left the plains. From our high position we could discern the slightest movement of all mortal life. Observe, as I point out, the schoolmates whose life you wish to know, said Hartz. See, Bryan's Jazz Band is playing 'When You and I Were Seventeen.' Thurman is at the piano, Schwartz is playing a violin and Robinson is playing a cigar holder affair, the name of which I know not. A prosperous-looking huckster named Finegold is being mobbed by the enthusiastic crowd in search of suitable missiles. . We will now look at a few domestic scenes. Mrs. Alice Fulmer Pronko is doing the washing and singing, 'All for the Love of Mike.' Yoder is a well known member of the Union's staff. He will soon wed Miss Kreisberg. After the ceremony the couple will spend their honeymoon in Jerusalem. Moskovitz is a prosperous meat man, specializing in Choice Hams. He claims he must have a good business to support a wife such as his. The former Miss Blaney has become Mrs. Kane. Her husband is a millionaire banana man. From all indications he has slipped on a peel. What is the cause of all the commotfon on the Elysian Fields? I inquired. Look closely, said Hartz, and you will see the cause. See, Gardner is ducking a flat-iron hurled by Mary Jane to the tune of '0h! How I Miss You Tonight! Cletus. true to form, is a political boss. There are Mr. and Mrs. Margaret Campbell Robertson putting the theory that two can live as cheaply as one, to the acid test. From what I can learn it seems as if Wilbur always goes to bed backwa1'ds so if Peg awakes she will think he is getting up. 30

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:Ei N. L ..- 1' Wi? I g Last Will and Testament We, the class of 1926, of Carnegie High School, being of sound mind and memory, do hereby make, publish, and direct this to be our Last Will and Testa- ment in manner following: First. We direct that all our just debts be fully paid and satisfied as soon as conveniently may be, after our decease. Second. We direct the use of our enormous fortune to the construction of a new and completely equipped high school building with a stadium for athletic events, and to the laying out of a public park to be located on one of the numerous beauti- ful spots along Chartiers Creek. Third. To Carnegie High School, we bequeath a new superintendent and a new principal, which two gifts are to be shared and enjoyed equally by all members of that school. Fourth. To the future Seniors we will the familiar heirlooms of the Senior Room, i. e., desks, books, inkwells, maps, erasers. etc. To the above mentioned we will in addition, the enjoyment of Dear Teacher's fragrant flowers and fly swatter and also the use of our Chemistry in Industry, Volumes I and II, and the twelve new Trigonometry books. Fifth. We bequeath to the future Juniors the privileges of upper class- men and the leadership of the under classmen. Sixth. To the Sophomores we will the care and guidance of the Freshmen. Seventh. The Fountain of Youth we bequeath to the Freshmen, may it wash them clean and prepare them for the struggle which awaits them. Eighth. Our most sincere respect and appreciation, we leave to the faculty. Although this latter has not been continually displayed throughout our high school career, we nevertheless are in full possession of it now and we offer it in return for the sacrifices that have been made to raise us to the level upon which we now stand. Ninth. To the community and to the school we bequeath the memory of the class of 19265 may it ever be a source of pride and admiration to them. In witness whereof, we, the class of 1926, the testate above named, have hereunto subscribed our name and affixed our seal, this iirst day of May in the Year of Our Lord One Thousand Nine Hundred and Twenty-six. Class of 1926. LAWRENCE MARSTON, Attorney. Witnesses: N. L. GLASSER EFFIE A. MILLIREN 29

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' . 14 QM Ng M 1 W2 We will now 'inspect a school-room, said the Prophet. 'How much is 2 plus 2?' says Miss Bane to Sylvester Gatts, Jr. Sylvester responded without hesitation, 'Five.' See that sign down there? said the Prophet. That is the Business School of the Misses Moore, White and Joyce. Professor Doyle is furnishing the bright remarks to keep the pupils amused. Even the Misses Severns, Vescial and Sirianni are in business. They have established a Home for Old Maids. They have planned to start a Marriage Bureau in the future to help those who have loved and lost. The Commercials have fared well in this world. Miss Kulik and Miss Alberti are employed by a well known Lawyer's concern, Lookatit, Snitchit and Travel. Mr. Botsford has a brilliant future in his father's Pickle Factory. He is lead- ing cucumbers astray. Ely and Marston are in their second childhood. They have discovered a Fountain of Youth near Campbell's Run and are now dashing hither and yon in their bare feet, wearing rompers. Marston is in his twelfth year and Ely is just old enough to carry burned matches. The Prophet never paused in his tiresome task. The Misses Fahey, Eoff, Cava- naugh, Metz and Fry, he continued, have formed a humane soceity. Their main issue is the prevent on of crap-shooting, as the poor things are so defenseless. Coates has turned out to be a traveling salesman. At present he is selling gondolas in the Saraha Desert. He will next attempt to sell refrigerators at the North Pole. Thelma Rickenbach, until lately, was a maid in a good home. She was dis- charged because her employer found his key-holes all scratched. His action is justi- fied, because Thelma's ears were too sharp. The Misses Weigel, Evans, Chilton, Braunroth and Mulholland have cast their lots together in a very, very fowl business. They raise chickens as a pastime. Jarema, the Russian Bass, is singing in the Metropolitan Opera House. The term Russian Bass does not mean a foreign fish. Mabel Haley and Doris Bushnell have collaborated in writing some startling treatises, such as, 'Why the Ocean is So Close to the Shore' and 'Why Firemen Wear Red Suspenders.' Whippo is in the tooth-paste business. He has turned pugilist, being nationally known as 'Kiss-the-Canvas' Whippo. After he has became Flea Weight Champion he intends to encounter Miss Hamilton for a fight to the finish. Fred Hurless, his manager, threatens to change his name to 'Six-Second' Smith if he doesn't last longer in his next fight. Cooper has turned out to be a Holy Roller Preacher. He is ably supported in his congregation by Astriab, McCormick and Corba, who take the collection on a percentage basfs. Miss Long has already been converted to the faith. Hill considers himself a first-class physician, already having witnessed the popular play, 'Doctor Jack! Vidal is a well known butter and egg man from the east, specializing in oleo.- margarine and Easter eggs. Anna Sherba is employed in the offices of the Hide and Seek Detective Agency. She dusts ofi' the office furniture. Gatts is playing the part of the leading man in his latest play, 'The Woman Hater.' Incidentally the leading lady is Mrs. Jean York Gatts. She will not permit him to work with anolher lady. The Prophet paused. I looked at h'm reproachfully. Never fear, he said, I have not forgotten your teacher. She will soon be in a position where she will never need to fear the monthly plumbing bill. Apollo's sun chariot was near.ng the end of its journey in the west when the Phophet bid me farewell. I was directed to the upper regions through the gate of Sleep, hapfpy, for I knew how all had fared in this cruel world. -LEE CRANE '26 31