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Page 71 text:
Father: "Well, I guess we will go to the country this year, instead of
the usual Seashore."
Fred S.: "No, no. I don't want to go to the country. No country for me."
Father: 'LWhy not. son?"
Fred: " 'Cause I hear they have threshing machines down there, and
itls bad enough when it's done by hand."
Betty McClellan: HHow much is my bill, waiter?"
Waiter: "What did you have?"
Betty McClellan: "I don't know."
Waiter: "Hash is a quarter."
A great discoverer
Was Silas Orleans
He found some pork
In his pork and beans.
Bob Moudy:' fJust 'deposited a nickel in a public telephonej
Operator: "Number, please."
Bob Moudy: "Number, nothin', I want my chewing gum."
Found on a Freshman's registration card:
Question: Give your parents' names.
Answer: Mama and Papa.
Marjorie, aged four, marched into the grocer's to tell the news: "Wave
got a new baby brother up at our house," she said.
"You don't tell me?" said the grocer. mls he going to stay with you?"
"I guess so." said Marjorie, "he's got his things off."
Don W.: "Professor, the barometer has fallen."
Mr. Berg: "Very much?"
Don W,: fWith a guilty lookj "About five feet-it's broken."
John O.: "Did you ever wear two-pants suits?"
Herbert Friedenberger: "No, they're too hot."
Edwin Pellett: "What's the idea, Howard. wearing your socks wrong
Howard Knepper: "Theres a hole in the other side."
Page 70 text:
Doctor: "Have you ever run a temperature?"
Miss Gilbert: "No, but I've run nearly every other kind of car."
Fat Lady: "Little boy, can you tell me if I can get thru?"
Wes P.: "I guess you can lady. A load of hay just went thru."
Barbara B.: "Does your Watch tell you the time?"
Don W.: "No, I have to look at it."
Mr. Price: "What are we having for dinner?"
Mrs. Price: "Sponge cake, dear. I sponged the eggs from Mrs. Berg, the
flour from Mrs. Parker, and the milk from Mrs. Jenkins.
Mrs. Jenkins: "How do you like the potato salad?"
Coach: "It's delicious. Did you buy it yourself?"
Reba T.: "Let's go to a show tonight."
Elaine C.: k'Nope, only got one more day to finish reading my Sears, Roe-
Reba T.: "How come?"
Elaine C.: "Well, the wrapper it came in said: 'Return in five days' and
tomorrow's the last day."
Mother fdiscovering her daughter washing a kitten with soap and
watercj "Oh, Betty, I don't think the mother pussy would like her kitten
washed like that!"
Elsie L. Qvery seriouslyjz "Well, I really can't lick it."
"Though you belong to somebody else, tonight you belong to me," mur-
mured Malcom G., smoothing the wrinkles out of the tux.
Jeannette M.: "Do you like codfish balls?"
Maxine O.: "I dunno, I never attended any."
Father Kangaroo: "Where's the baby?"
Mother Kangaroo ffeeling in pocketsjz "Guess I must have left it in
my other clothes."
Page 72 text:
Eileen C. Ito tourist who's shaving outside of his tenth: "Do you always
Hugh C.: "Certainly, do you think I'm fur-lined?"
Mr. Berg: "The gas in this cylinder is a deadly poison. What steps
would you take if any of it escaped?,'
Mary June: "Long ones."
Wes Pellett: "Thinking of me?"
Wilma B.: "Was I laughing? Oh, I'm sorry."
"This is a pretty snappy suit," remarked the baby as he was put into
his rubber panties.
Darrell M.: "Am I headed right for the monkey cage?"
Frank L.: "Yes, but you would stand a better chance if you had a tail."
Willard O. QEntering a restaurant and ordering pork and beans finds the
beans but no pork.J: "Where is the pork?"
Waiter: "There it is behind that bean."
Two's company, the third's the chaperon.
Mrs. Parker: "You liked my cooking when we were first married."
Mr. Parker: "Yes, but I didn't have dyspepsia then."
Lloyd W.: 'tWhatever happened to the little girl who used to want an
Ronald M.: "Now she just wants one for evenings."
Mr. Miller: "There is one thing about a boy
I cannot understand,
Why Donald at the high school play
Put roses in my hand."
Jum Oberlin: "I hear your son, Darrell, in college is doing a lot of
Mr. Miller: "Yes, heis a girl scout."
Jum O.: "You mean a boy scoutf'
Mr. Miller: "No, he's always scouting for a girl?
Mr. Miller: "What's the difference between a weasel and an easel?"
Nathalie: "A weasel is a little man."
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