Bucyrus High School - Bucyrian Yearbook (Bucyrus, OH)

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Class Prophecy cof-me Janiece Rettig's iob is improving the new Biscuit Mix for New Brides, a boon to girls who can't even fry water. Beverly Neff is trying to talk her into a full page advertisement in the newspaper called M.0.0. N. lMany Opinions On Nothingl, because she is the advertising manager. Look at the salesmen comingl Jim Richards sells insurance to complaint de rtments in department stores. Carol Baehr is the head encyclo edia at the information desk in Grand Central Slfiztion. She works out her leave of absences as the chief salesgirll in the army-navy surplus store. Selling a special kind of aspirin called Atom- ic Pills to teachers during exam time is Bob Ehrensberger's iob. Tom Fox is expanding his family monopoly on popcorn sales from Cleveland Municipal Stadium through all the planets in the universe. As a sideline, he is instigating a new style in men's haircuts--bangs. We quote his reason: Bangs tend to reduce the high forehead of slightly bald men. However, for the men who are more than half bald, I have yet to find anything better than a wig . Uh-Ohl Don't sneeze or the whole ship will be quarantined for pillow-feathers-itis. That dignified group of girls you see approaching is the distinguished faculty of the Women's Medical College of Pennsylvania, and they are now experimenting with an antidote for moon-stroke. They are Wilma Steiger, Jo ce Taylor, Carol Schemel, Nlarlene Dull, and Rose Short who has finished helping me early, so that she would have plenty of time to board the ship. Here come two very imposing looking people. Bob Caldwell has good reason to look imposing. He is Pres- ident Eisenhower's personal dentist. The other is Ruth Keller who is going to the moon for the unveiling of the monument erected in her honor to be known thereafter as KelIer's Dam- LeRoy Benedict has changed his name to Thursday since he became Captain Friday's assistant. lDum-De- Dum-Dum.l On his days off he runs a fix-it shop on the Indianapolis Speedway. With him is Dick Weaver, a Navy man, who has an upholstery business in Davenport, Iowa. An unusual looking trio is approaching the ship now. In the lead is Bob Sponseller with one of his jet- powered sulkies that he intends to run in the national harness races at Yucca Flats. Next are Donna Haycook and Carol James who respectively supply Bob with Haycook's Hefty Harnesses and the asbestos horses for this sport, samples of which they are taking along. Paul Witter will have to stay within the speed limit on this trip to the moon, because Jerry Mowry and Jerome Wilson, who have been promoted to privates in the Skyway Patrol, will be on hand to see that he does. Four more businessmen ap ar on the scene. Fred Welge has been appointed to assume the role of official clock winder in Grand Centraligtation. Albert Stoltz is going to distribute important makes of foreign cars all over the universe. Bob Corfman drills holes in the green cheese that composes the moon, and sends samples to Earth via his model airplanes. Jack Keller is in the monkey business in the St. Louis Zoo--he teaches them to be elevator operators. , The last group of passengers are coming now, so Joanne Judd is going aboard to save me a seat. She is an assistant chop stick producer. Joyce Goff went with her, meanwhile still trying to back out frontwards. Jan Fowler who wants to be a traveling preacher, and Janet Shaffstall who is all set to run her advertising agency in Meteor City that will handle all the publicity for the Miss Moon-ite contests, get on the ship to- gether. Last of all, Peggy Rowland came running up. As she climbed on, I remembered that she is the first B.H.S. girls' football coach and that she raises little Wurms on the side. What do I do? Me write Chollie Chan stories for TV. As Confucius say, Chop-chop, Ling Foo, and Whoopeel Translated means, Mister Chan, You better run. 24

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Class Prophecy Here comes a group of the girls who expect to combine careers and homemaking. First is Julie Sullivan. She was a weatherwoman on Cape Hattaras. She has discontinued calling hurricanes by girls' names as has been done in the past, she calls them tor-matoes. Raising little prides and ioys is Joy Leathem's occupation. Marilyn Hollenbaugh sold silverware in China, but now she is developing a special spot remover for leoparcls only. The bridal consultant at New Niagara Falls, Betty Haldeman, ioins the ranks of those present. No water will go over this Niagara, iust meteor dust. Dyeing pets to match their owner's clothing will be the business of Virginia Stahl. Vonetta Snavely ran the Waldorf-Astoria out of business with her grill room which features a built-in dumb waiter manufactured by the Smart, Brains, and Geniuses, Incorporated. Lilly Ralph and Jim Denton are coming up the ramp talking shop, Lilly is a grease monkey in an automobile garage when she isn't busy tuning tonsils at the Met, and Jim's occupation is un-dentin' fenders, so that he can marry at 45 and retire at 46 a rich man. From Canada comes Myron Linn, manufacturer of sleeping bags which are sold under the brand name of Nap Sacks. His secretary, Dorothy Grau, has brought along plenty of office work to do, so business looks prosper- ous. George Metzger, the world-famous Certified Public Accountant and, so far, the company's best customer, will, among other things, keep an eye out for competitors. The other eye goes with him when he tests the pro- duct. From the University of Sulphur Springs, which is a special school for teachers, come Norge Seits, who spe- cializes in kindergarten teachers, Suzy Miller, head of the department of first grade teachers, Susan Heckenhauer, an instructor of second grade teachers, and Doris Beattie, who teaches physical education instructors. Two businessmen are approaching the ship now, evidently trying to sell each,other on their products. Mert Boyd is a wig salesman for Bigg's Wigs, Inc., whose catchy motto is Big Wigs use Bigg's Wigs, Bill Kennedy is the silent partner in the Kennedy's Kiddie Koops Korporation which guarantees its playpens to be escape-proof. Mert's secretary, Shirley Briggs, and Phyllis Burwell, who is to be private secretary to Admiral Jones, are close behind. They are going to test the effects of Aunt Sassafras's Sea-Sickness Soother on rocket ship travel. Someone is coming now who is struggling with three dozen musical instruments and an armload of suitcases. As he sets them down, I see that it is Jerry Kenefake. He started out as a hot combo leader at the Spanish Tav- ern. Later on, his footprints were immortalized in the plaster on the walls inside Grauman's Chinese Theater, because there wasn't any more room outside on the sidewalk. Not far behind is Bob Cotsamire. He is happy with his hobby of feeding Turkey to Hungary on China when it's Chile, and to prove it, he has brought along plenty of samples and his new invention, a knife, fork, and spoon all in one. Here come some more interplanetary travelers. Dave Flannery has realized his ambition to travel, he is a Scotland Yard detective, and his next challenging assignment is to head an expedition hunting for needles in haystacks. Jim Haag has come up in the world since he has received his promotion from camel tender to private in the Foreign Legion. The man who developed steering wheels for rickshaws, Frosty Rowe, is proud of his good iob. A successful and happy archaeologist in New South America will be Bob Snavely. He discovered long ago that the now extinct Moon-ites had devised a tinless tin can, and he will try to promote it in modern day indus- try. Two of the personnel of Macy's Department Store will go on the trip. They are Carolyne Sniff, who sells perfume, and Bo Rothhaar, the manager of the shipping room, who is experimenting with a new type of flying saucer, a floating cup. l see Jim Barciz is a blacksmith, of a sort, he shoes horseflies. Graham Riley, a cracker packer at New Niagara Falls, is with him. 23

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llastwillanil 2 inment. To whom it may concern: We, the senior class of 1954, being of doubtful mentality and fiendish glee, wish to leave our possessions to the following recipients when we take our sorrowful departure to the moon: To the Classes as a whole Juniors-the challenging duty as seniors of setting a better example for ALL underclassmen than any of the preceding classes have done. ,Sophomores-a crystal ball to see where the money for the Junior-Senior Reception is coming from. Freshmen girls-a book, How to Get Boys to Dance at the Sophomore Prom. boys-a book, What to do When Trapped by a Girl at a Dance. Eighth Graders-old propeller beanies, bobby sox, six Johnny Ray records, a Chinese dragon net, and a beat-up textbook or two with which to enter Senior High. Seventh Graders-a flashlight, compass, and the joy of helping new seventh graders find their way around the Alma Nlater. To the Administration Superintendent Miller-180 more school days until the end of next year. Principal Laman-the good conduct of the class of 54. Mrs. Seits-a rubber stamp for tardy and absence slips. Mrs. Haines-a year's supply of paper, paper clips, rubber bands, and pencils. Mrs. Mahley-two shorthand tablets and a year's supply of pencil stubs. Mrs. Price-the Bucyrian typists and their unfinished works. To the Custodians Mr. McPherson-a book, i,00l additional places to find old bubble gum. Mr. Ulmer-pencil sharpeners that dispose of the splinters and lead dust automatically. Mr. McAdams-a iar of cast-iron floor wax. Mr. Sturtz-a self-propelled floorbroom. To the Teachers Mr. Apel-a lifetime su ply of iodine, tape, and gauze. - Miss Bollenbacher- AllJGaul is divided into TWO parts. Mr. Bryant-a geography book because he doesn't like history. Mr. Frantz-An undefeated N. O. L. team. Mrs. Halm-a geiger counter to find X. Mr. Pop Havron-the hope that someday he will write a thin but interesting history book. Miss Hesson-castanets for getting attention in class. Miss Hibarger-another nitwit to dissect fish in Biology. Mr. Hoover-four dozen calculators for his bookkeeping classes. Continued on Pages 26 and 27 25