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Page 17 text:
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Page 19 text:
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S E ,Y f U fi' S CSlllllifOlI GRASS i-iDlI lOpiillIEfCy THE CASTLE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT One afternoon I was wishing I had something to do when suddenly tl1ere appear- ed before me a tiny man, a grotesque elf-like little creature, who invited me to visit the Castle of Accomplishment . Following tl1e line of least resistance, I allowed myself to accompany him. We boarded a tiny boat and, in a veil of mist, floated down a silver stream shrouded in fog. Suddenly, through a break in the mist, I saw a fantastic structure rising thousands of feet in the air and covering many miles. My companion in- formed me tha.t it was our destination, The Castle of Accon1plishment . We entered the great structure and found ourselves in a gigantic room. Air- planes were soaring overhead, and people were hurrying to and fro. I was almost ready to cry out in amazement at the queer things about me, when I recognized a number of my old schoolmates in different parts of the huge room. Mary Elizabeth Whitehill passed me in great haste, carrying a number of test tubes and bottles of chemicals. My companion informed me that she and her partner, Mary Haywood, had become distinguished as scientists in the World of Accomplishlnent. The errand boy just approaching them, I was told, was Mr. Bechtel, who had been employed in that position after the completion of his contract at Boone High School. My attention was drawn to a figure which darted past me. lt was Miss Gustaf- son going to take roll at the library, as she had been doing ever since her pro- motion to the Castle . She was calling to Mary Morrow and Irene Cress, who were dancing for a crowd of people in the corner, to sit down and be quiet. Among the spectators I recognized Earl Brown, Roswell Chambers, Carlyle Bean, Leonard Vogler, and Chester Stromert, who, I learned, had distinguished themselves by solving the unemployment problem forever, their recommendation being that each individual shirk as much work as,possible. I stopped to read a huge plaque on the wall, and found it to be a golden emblem bearing the inscription, World's Champion Football Team , and below it thenames: lVilliam Ackerman, Clarence Dettman, Harold McClelland, Floyd McFarland, Willard Primrose, Emil Schroeder, Joe Knezevich, Laverne Stromert, and ot.hers I did not know. Near a window I found Miss Linderblood reading Fables in Slang to Virgil and Cicero, who smiled occasionally at some witticism. I walked on and found Jean Ward singing for the amusement of Beethoven and Strauss, who applauded with great gusto at the completion of each number. I had now come upon some booths built in the wall, and as I walked along l found Charlene Battey, Joyce Lees, Lester Henry, James Alexander, Mildred Nelson, and Frank Sanders engaged in the commercial production of a tonic guaranteed to make stronger, bigger, better and more brilliant minds. In the next booth, I found the Metropolitan Opera Company producing an opera written by the Summers Brothers, Stanley and Lawrence. Among those in the cast I saw Dorothy Thompson, Maurice VVeir, Ruth Toepfer, Harlan VVeeks, Edna Mae McAlpine, Russell Kilgore, and Everett Buss. In the next booth was the fastest talking human, Morris Bell, dictating short- hand at the rate of five hundred words a minute to Helen Warner, Elinor Wise, Ione Zunkel, Elsie Markman and Arlene Vvinter. I walked along alone fmy guide having disappeared among the crowd! and at last came to a door over which was the inscription O'B1'ien Home For Orphans . It seems that this part of the castle was the idea of none other than Gerald O'Brien. I went inside to examine the building and made the acquaintance of the matron, Betty Austin. I met four of the nurses in the home whom I had form- erly known: Marguerite Grabau, Mildred Patten, Maxine Winter, and Marie Grabau. I also met an old friend, Charles Hilts, serving as chef in this institu- tion. NN S xx :X .xxssi IX-if -'TI in Q1 ex , Q ,s.r..-Tp QSGEFSQ: Niiifr' ses s s is S' -xx sc 5: N Xe as Q XXX LN ,xxx .X by ,NSXNXKX ixtscx R X ixr 5 - X. .A N N s NX X X .-,. . X X v Yo sb .X -Q N St Suggs?
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