Billerica Memorial High School - BMHS Yearbook (Billerica, MA)

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ered up. But when the caption flashed on, the explanation was that his pose was not a result of playing “post-office,” but Kenneth was the official taste tester at a sour pickle factory! On a busy corner in Lowell could be seen the “Gift Exchange Shop,” with proprietors FRANNIE PADULA and EDDIE MITCHELL. There one could exchange, for a small fee, any unwanted gifts dear relatives and thoughtless friends might have inflicted upon one. Still on the shelves, with positively no takers, were two spinster members of the Howe High faculty, and Mr. Locke’s favorite curling lotion. A delicious aroma filled the room. Students and teachers stirred hungrily as curvateous “SCOTTY” giggled and munched golden-brown doughnuts. There on his arthritic knees was WENDELL, “the Father of Doughnuts.” Joan gratefully accepted his offering, but not himself. What next! Her Honor, NANCY DEMPSEY, Mayor of Pinehurst, kissing husbands as she toured her city! The boys groaned, “It’s a woman’s world.” The girls sighed enviously and began to be politically- minded. Mr. Lynch closed his eyes at the painful sight. To the left now appeared the Concord. No, it was the Shawsheen, come into its own at last, widened and beautified. On its right bank a permanent naval base had been established by Secretary of Defense, SHEZ Zi yaell Uitte At the same time young fathers wearily climbed the stairs of the Town Hall to attend a class on “What Every Young Father Should Know,” the instructor being BOB CORKUM, who had majored in the subject. The eager-beaver fathers gathered around as “HANK” WILSON struggled to pin a tidy-didy. He came up with a flushed face, a punctured thumb, and a firm resolve to get Bob outside and tie one on him! Boston Garden was packed to the rafters with the book-reading public to celebrate ‘““Author’s Week.” NOREEN LEAHY smiled her fa- mous smile at her readers and autographed her current novel, “I Was a Bigamist,” in her best shorthand. As Noreen’s countenance faded from view, so did the twenty borrowed fountain pens. The halls of Congress resounded to the ringing words of Congress- woman PAT MURRAY. Her constituents back home in Billerica wanted free hot dogs, coffee, packages of bubble gum, and heated benches at the Memorial Field football games. Congress applauded her vigorously, and promised Howe bigger and better footballs in the very near future. It was apple blossom time in Nashoba Valley in 1960. A macintosh- red-cheeked young woman, GEORGINA CAPEN by name, and single by choice, was buying up the whole Nashoba Valley apple crop to bankrupt her former boyfriend, “Tony,” king of the pushcarts. “Mae West” SCHMELZER, guest speaker at a V.F.W. National Convention, smiled teasingly and swung her “ample” hips as she drawled: “Why’en-cha’ come up and see my po-ems sometime?” JOHN McLENNAN, owner of the department store, scurried for Washington, to attend personally to an order from President EUGENE FLINT, most eligible bachelor in the country, whose election was assured by his loquacious speeches. Look! SHINKWIN, PITTS, and “MOUSY,” sporting beards a foot long, lay on the banks of the Concord as they pan ’60 gold; and close by NANCY CONWAY has set up a “chow wagon,” doing a thriving business. No profit in that, boys! Park Avenue’s wax keeper, MILTON GULLAGE, struggled des- perately to attire his charming manniken in the latest ‘M’Ladies’ Lingerie.” DOTTY LUNT, attorney-at-law, worked furiously to acquit her client in the case of SORLI versus FITZPATRICK. “Did he kiss her, or did she scream because he didn’t?” “Pioneer woman farmer,” JEANETTE LOCKE, guided her herd of cows along the highway into Alaska. When questioned by United States reporter, “SHORTY” COUSINS, she answered: “Young man,

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feet were standing on a rainbow of broadway lights. Her brown eyes were demure in expression, but her drugstore eyelashes did things to the men in the audience. The picture was captioned “No Pins Permitted.” Broadway! Times Square! Grand Central — Oh-h! There stood JOAN KEEFE, starring in the Broadway hit, ‘Who Stole Venus from Room 21?” Joan will soon forsake Broadway, however, to “babysit” for CAROLE STU- ART, manufacturer of cobwebs and artificial dust. Is that CHARLOTTE BER- NARD! Why, yes! She’s return- ed for a post graduate course at Howe, with her affections centered upon that heartbreaker, “Gary Cooper’ CONDON, the new cooking and sewing teacher. As far as can be seen, Charlotte really works nights! Oh! Poor, hen-pecked CHARLIE O’HARA, attracting nation-wide attention, will undoubtedly sit up on that pole until “wifey” JOAN RIVAL signs a sworn statement that she won’t make him “walk” the dog at two in the morning. Famous surgeon, KAY SAPIENZA, suffered much indignation when MARY ARSENAULT, owner of a wolf kennel, hired the doctor to remove a splinter from one of her pets. Being brought back by Detectives LILLIAN BROWN, MARILYN MacDONALD, and PHYLLIS DERBY — WILLIAM SUTTON sobbed out his tragic story when asked why he stole the million and one half from the P. SULLIVAN Furniture Co., where he worked, as a bookkeeper, “It all went on bubble gum, and this is my last piece.” “King of the Hoboes,’ CHARLIE DELARUE, and carnival “queen,” BARBARA LYONS, have decided to collaborate on a book en- titled “Carnival Knights.” The book will portray the lives of the aristo- cratic Hobo. Now the televized “Bride of the Week” program flashed on the screen. Who was the unblushing bride? Could it be? Yes, it was GERRY MUSGRAVE, with her six-foot, bow-legged heart-throb. MARY RABI- DOU, mistress of ceremonies, queried the bride as to what her favorite love song was, to which the vivacious Gerry answered with a triumphant laugh, “The Gentleman is a Dope.” TEDDY NOBLE, noted “Ipana Man,” was seen raising St. ‘Ber- nards’”’ on his ranch in Texas. “Advice to the Lovelorn” columnist, PAULINE SURRETTE, has been legally entitled “Homebreaker of 1960.” Now DONALD HAMILTON and JOE DWYER, prominent mem- bers of the “Virgin Club,” which means that they have nothing whatever to do with girls, finally have decided that females won’t bite. Anyway, they’ve grown up now. . Well! MARJORIE MORAN has started her long trek back to her estate in the Kentucky mountains. She can take only so much of civiliza- tion before she feels compelled to return to the mountains, where she can “feel the wiggle of her toes, and her Li’] Abner’s arms once more!” BARBARA DUCHARME blushed as red as her hair when MARY TWOMBLY, her boss’s wife, caught her sitting on DONNELLY’s lap, while he examined the texture of Barb’s stockings. There were cries of consternation when McELHINEY appeared on the screen. What could be the matter with his mouth! It was all puck-

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there’s milk in them there critters, and I aims to make my fortune gittin’ it!” With that, she glared down at him over her spectacles, and went her merry way. NATALIE RIECKS was now the owner of many “little, black books,” as the result of her switchboard operating experience. Her boss, GEORGE NUTTING, has become quite perturbed at her ability to listen in on male calls. “Hot Rod” SMITH was caught entering his dilapidated “midget” in the races for next week. Last year he won a broken leg and a pushed- in-“puss.” His nurse, MARY O’CONNELL, did her best to reform him, but Ed is sure he has a bright future. Prof. PAUL HENNESSEY and his assistants, RUTH WEAVER and CLARA JOYCE, were taking off to the Moon to try to persuade MAE and JUNE “To be practical and come home to their husbands.” It would seem that the females up there can’t be made quite so charmingly, for these two girls have the men simply enchanted! There were sighs from the girls. You bet they wouldn’t come home! “Silly goops,” grunted Mr. Lynch disgustedly. ‘Go home and take a shower.” KAY SULLIVAN, GEORGE HALLENBORG, and MURIEL CROUSE were managing their own private enterprise, and were com- monly known as the “Sitters.” They guaranteed never a dull evening for anyone from 6 to 60. They were just the ones who could do it, too! As the class watched, they saw the now famous Boston Road, with the great lighting system on the JOHN THURSBY Theatre. The show featured PEGGY FORBES, DOROTHY HOLDEN, and the handsome DOUGLAS CUMMINGS, in the tremendous hit “Cummings’ Attractions.” A little farther along the road was a large French restaurant. Over the door was a sign, “Le CAPOBIANCO and Sons’ Chicken Restau- rant.” Today’s menu consisted of chicken, chicken soup, and chicken a la king. Believe it or not, the chief chef was the great GORDON GURNEY. Sauntering in the door was the lovely PAT HALL, wearing an expen- sive fur coat. She was now the wife of a very rich and accomplished ar- tist, RICHARD WOLF. In the back- ground the charming JESSIE FRO- BESE was singing on the stage with the whole symphony orchestra behind her. Across the street was the ME- GOW Hardware Store, where quite a crowd had gathered to listen to Ludolf play his violin. In the adjoining edi- fice PHYLLIS CATERINO and MAR- JORIE RICHARDS were giving an impressive demonstration on how to blow green suede bubbles. At that there was a blood- curdling noise from the “deus ex machina.” It croaked, groaned, and quaked as if it were taking a fit! Then, to the unbelieving ears of the students, the contraption cried: “I-I can’t take any more. Let me die!” “When things start falling out all over the floor, there must be truth to the adage that the Class of 1950 is really powerful,’ thought Mr. Lynch, as he choked over his fifth hot dog!