Billerica Memorial High School - BMHS Yearbook (Billerica, MA)

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Chas; iz rophecy Woodburn Hydraulic Face Lotion’s Latest Flashes By Walchell Winter Mr. and Mrs. America. Good evening, This is Walchell Winter, your Washington Correspondent, with my recapitulation of the current situation. This year, 1960, has been a busy one; and many names are in head- lines. As usual, I have the latest, unan- nounced scoops of the year. FLASH ... PAULINE SURETTE, noted beautician, has announced her engagement to “Oil King,” “KENTUCKY” DERBY — Reverend Marvin Thompson will officiate at the ceremony of marriage, to be held in June. FLASH ... EDWARD TSCHERCH has tendered his resignation as Secretary of State in order to take up married life with ELIZABETH NUSSEY, currently chosen Miss Florida Orange. FLASH ... ROBERT GIFFORD, explorer extraordinary, has been reported stranded on the moon. Commander EDWARD NIEDZWIECKI of the rocket squadron has ordered six jet planes to be sent to the rescue. FLASH ... The Three “B’s,’ BELYEA, BOYLAND, and BARTON, have astonished the world with the announcement that they have bought up the entire trained ‘‘shmoo”’ market. bo bo FLASH ... OLGA SACHARUK has won the United Press Award for the best photo- graph of the year. ‘Flash’ Sacharuk took a surprise photo of Miss EMILY STREIT- MATER, in her present residence. Miss Streitmater has risen high in the world of politics. She started as a bank teller, and rose to Bank President; from Bank Presi- dent she was elected State Treasurer, and from State Treasurer, she has been ap- pointed to her present position as National Chairman of the “March of Dimes.” FLASH ... In a recent exhibition, Swami Jacobs petrified the audience when the rope act went askew and Bob Loranger found himself dangling from the rafters. FLASH ... That hit video program, “It Pays to be Ignorant,’’ has been changed to a new show, “It’s Vogue to be Vague.” A na- tion-wide search for talent, heralded by the new board of experts, has been organized with JOHN MacLENNAN’s replacing Joe Howard. GEORGE FLEWELLING has tak- en the place of George Sheldon; DAVID HENTZ now fills the role once held by Har- ry McNorton. Commedienne ‘Lulu-Belle“ LEWIS has assumed the role of Miss Lulu McConnell. Good luck to the new board of experts. We are sure that they will add something new to show business. FLASH ...SPORTS SECTION .. . Coach GEORGE GRACIE’S football team, the “Cream Puffs,’ met Coach BOB WILSON’S “Lollypops” in the outstanding grid battle of the year. The tournament was held at Me- morial Stadium, the largest in the United States. In spite of rumored charges that Coach Gracie had accepted a bribe of bubble- gum from “Lips” WARREN, captain of the “Lollypops” cheerleaders, the “Cream Puffs” were in excellent form. After a bril- liant forward pass from “ZEKE” WILSON of the ‘‘Cream Puffs” to “Happy” ROBBINS, the game was declared a tie. Reason?.. . Water-girl, “Madcap” MURPHY, swiped the football during a triple play, with a double defeat.

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FIFTY-SECOND: I, Claire Boyland, leave to cultivate my inter- ests in the Eastern Massachusetts Railway Company. FIFTY-THIRD: I, Richard Derby, leave to become a first-class secretary to any good-looking woman executive. FIFTY-FOURTH: Il, Eleanor Daniels, leave the ink on my face to the mimeograph machine. FIFTY-FIFTH: I, George Flewelling, leave to Mrs. Dooley my many and sundry wisecracks. FIFTY-SIXTH: I, Carlene Hartshorn, leave in a broken-down and worn-out vehicle. FIFTY-SEVENTH: I, David Hentz, leave my trusty pipe to some strong-hearted fellow. FIFTY-EIGHTH: I, Olga Sacharuk, leave to master the art of breaking locks, so I can get into my car. FIFTY-NINTH: I, John Thursby, leave my chemistry notebooks to next year’s Louis Pasteur. SIXTIETH: I, John MacLennan, leave my business ventures to anyone with money to lose. SIXTY-FIRST: I, Duncan MacLennan, leave my curly, blond hair to John Capobianco. SIXTY-SECOND: I, Charlotte Conway, leave my seat in Room 21 to George Hallenborg. SIXTY-THIRD: I, Edward Niedzwiecki, leave my love for school to Mr. Shaughnessey. SIXTY-FOURTH: I, Patricia Barton, leave my “unique” ideas for changing basketball to Nancy Barton. SIXTY-FIFTH: I, Claire Belyea, leave my cheerleader’s uniform to Miss Wain. SIXTY-SIXTH: I, Ethel Goodyear, leave my liking for Readevr’s Digest day to Mrs. Dooley. SIXTY-SEVENTH: I, Margaret Cameron, leave, after accumula- ting a vast knowledge of chemistry. SIXTY-EIGHTH: I, Robert Gifford, leave my height to Alden Cousins. SIXTY-NINTH: I, Edwin Conquest, leave my hunting rifle to any man who can lift it. SEVENTIETH: I, John Loring, have left school many days to go hunting. SEVENTY-FIRST: I, Ruth Morris, leave Howe — I hope. SEVENTY-SECOND: I, Helen Corkum, leave the title of “Queenie” to future nobility. In testimony whereof we hereunto set our hand, and in the presence of witnesses do declare this document to be our last will this twenty-second day of June in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and forty- nine. MARGARET LEAHY LORRAINE LAMBERT On this twenty-second day of June, 1949, A.D., members of the Class of “49”, Howe High School, Billerica, Massachusetts, did sign the above document in our presence, and did declare it their last will. There- after, we three, in their presence, and in the presence of each other, hereto affix our names. RUTH DONNELLY JAMES DALEY ° CHARLOTTE CONWAY

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FLASH ... “Ding” BELANGER, popular crooner, has chopped up his piano for fire- wood. Cause? His wife’s, “Ginnie” GREAT- HEAD’s, new ermine. FLASH ... BACK TO SPORTS... World Champion lady wrestler, ‘Wild El” DAN- IELS, has accepted a challenge from “‘Atomic Audrey” LLOYD, Western Champ. The bout will be held at Madison Square Garden, spon- sored by Promoter DUNCAN MacLENNAN. Odds show Daniels favored two to one. But — be on the alert, Mr. and Mrs. America, I predict an upset. FLASH ... DORIS “General” JONCAS, a young lady who rose in the ranks of the WAPS (Women’s Auxiliary Political So- ciety) to National Secretary, has pledged her support to the election of HELEN CORKUM as United States Minister of Defense. With Corkum at the helm, the ship of State will be in dry-dock. FLASH ... LATEST BOOK A BEST- SELLER; BUT FIRST, A WORD FROM OUR SPONSOR. TLL BE BACK IN A FLASH WITH A FLASH. “Have you tried Woodburn’s new face lotion for tired, leathery skin? We will give you a statement from marrying Woodburn Deb, MIRIAM DICKIE. Miss Dickie, tell our audience how you give yourself a beauty facial .. . ‘You apply Woodburn’s hydraulic face lotion, let dry ... and peel the scales off your face.’ “Thank you, Miss Dickie. Do you want an alluring complexion like Miss Dickie’s? Do you want a man like Miss Dickie’s charming fiance, ROGER LAM- BERT? Well then, try our Woodburn night-cap — and have lovelier, fresher, FLAKIER skin.” AND NOW BACK TO WALCHELL WIN- TER. Hello again, Mr. and Mrs. America. I’m back with the sensational “book of the month” release about the current best seller, “Keyhole Incorporated,” by MARGARET LEAHY. Miss Leahy, known to her intimates as “Black Maggie,” has retired from public life as head of a gambling casino to become an authoress of best-sellers. Here is the story of the book. The story opens with F.B.lI. Head, HARRY MARTELL, ordering the ar- rest of the following on charges of subversive activity: J. DALEY, L. TULEJA, R. SEN- NA, J. SUTCLIFFE, L. SPONAGLE, M. CARMICHAEL, E. CONQUEST, and C. CONWAY !! The plot is unfolded by a series of flashbacks. It seems that tne ring has been slipping out important government documents and formulas through unknown channels. So, Detectives “Mac”? McGURN, of Homicide, and his partner in criminal detection, NANCY MARSHALL, of Petty Larceny, were put on the trail. They uncovered the fact that “Gentleman Jim’ DALEY and LOUIS “The Eye” TULEJA had been spying on government offices. Daley looked over transoms, while Tuleja had the keyhole de- partment. They had been watching the lab- oratory of Doctor DAVID SEWELL for months. “Confederate,” “Slippery Sam” SENNA broke into the laboratory of Nuclear Physicist, Sewell, and left carrying the for- mula, H.0, for an atomic atomizer. Our detec- tives, in disguise, followed the trail of the formula to “Honest John” SUTCLIFFE’s “Little Theater off East Wharf,’ where the formula was slipped to LOUISE, “Swing-’n’- Sway,” SPONAGLE, a dancer in the show troupe. At the climax of the performance, the formula was concealed in a fan and flung into the audience by Miss Sponagle, where it 3