Billerica Memorial High School - BMHS Yearbook (Billerica, MA)

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Hows-ITE CLASS PROPHECY It was in my weary travels, on a lazy summer day, in June 1955, that I came across a small town in Massachusetts. As I, soiled and dirty from a hard day on the rods-I mean roads-walked down the streets, I spied four old maids sitting in a yard, evidently in a po-er, bridge game. I have never, before, or since, seen a more perfect foursome of old maids. Of course, they were modern, up-to-date old maids-bachelor girls, they called themselves. They wore the latest style, smoked cigarettes, whistled at the passing men, and hummed to the tune of an old Glenn Milfer record, played on an anti- quated victrola. I was about to move on when I heard one of the bachelor girls speak. As soon as I heard her voice, I realized with a jolt, that it was none other than DOT COBB. I was longing to renew an old acquaintance, --CI had not seen any of them since I graduatedb-so I went in. Dot intro- duced me to her comrades. At drst, I did not recognize them, but as soon as the names were uttered, everything flashed back to me. The fellow card sharks were MARGIE LEAVITT, and JANE and PHYLLIS HUNTER. Now, I have been a travelling man, but in all my thirteen years of trav- elling, I have never met a more well versed quartet of gossipers. Of course, I accredited the art to their training at Howe High. We fell to gossiping and before long I was dizzy with it all. For thirteen years, they had kept tabs on about seventy people, plus their own neighbors and friends. They knew all', about everyone. I fell on the resignation that all small towns were alike-the women have little to do but gossip and tend the younger generation. As these poor unfortunate girls had not the luck to acquire unto themselves some unlucky fellows, and have young ones to look after, they concentrated all their time and their efforts on gossiping. They all talked so fast, especially Margie, that I had a hard time remembering the following: The Ex-Baroness BARBARA QUINN von Schmaltz du Bois was seen in Reno again this spring. She has not missed a spring in Reno since 1943. FRED RUSTON was seen last week backstage at that torrid review, the El Torro, trying to pick up a few lines, and a few other things. ROBERT WADLEIGH, president of the Little Tinker Trinket Com- pany, has just announced his new, revolutionary toy-the Wadleigh Duck. PAUL WAITE, the eminent plastic surgeon, finished final treatment last week on ARTHUR USNUFFY' SMITH. Snuffy'i now has a bridge in his nose. BETTY RAYMOND is chief orange slicer in the kitchen of the Waldorf in Lowell. JOHN KELEHER, No. 1 Playboy, is still trying to find the answer to the great problem- How to Win girls and hold them. His fifth divorce took place in 1954. He found out money didn't do any good-after his wives got wh at they Wanted of it. MAC MCCUSKER, the great all-star football player, was bewitched by a cute little number from Texas. She won him over by excessive flattery. Now Mac is Deep in the Heart of Texas. Would you believe it? KAY GULLAGE took vitamin pills after leav- ing dear old Alma Mater, and won the Missouri State Hog-Calling Contest. HERBERT NICKLESS has been voted the si-lent lover of the screen in Follywood, Massachusetts 'ta new movie metropolis owned and controlled by HENRY MOULTONJ. Herb was always so shy in regard to the opposite sex. Iwonder? RED ANDERSON and JOE BONZAR have designed a new midget racer, converted from a bomber. They hired the fastest driver in the country -24-

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HOWE-ITE CLASS WILL CLAUSE SIXTY-FOURTH: I, Arthur Smith, leave my Shakespearean knowledge to Dick Finnagan. CLAUSE SIXTY-FIFTH: I, Betty St. John, leave my economic notebooks to Mr. Brenner. CLAUSE SIXTY-SIXTH: I, Mary Tuttle, leave my musical ability to Jack Benny CLAUSE SIXTY-SEVENTH: I, Robert Wadleigh, leave my habit of speaking only when spoken to to my sister. CLAUSE SIXTY-EIGHTH: I, Paul Waite, leave my Cupid personality to Shorty McCusker. CLAUSE SIXTY-NINTH: I, Alice Wancewicz, leave my love of seeking year book responsi- bilities and assignments to Jerry Hulett. Howe's prize procrastinator. CLAUSE lection. SEVENTIETH: I, Elise White, leave my jokes to increase Mr. Roderick's col- IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we hereunto set our hand and seal this tenth day of June, A. D., 1942. CLASS OF 1942 The foregoing instrument, consisting of four C45 pages, was, on the date thereof, by the said Class of 1942 signed, sealed, and declared to us and each of us to be, their last Will and Testament, in the presence of us who, at their request and in their presence, have hereunto subscribed our names as witnesses thereto. RUTH ROGERS MILBURN IJIXON BETTY ST. JOHN BETTY RAYMOND ,231

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HOWE-ITE CLASS PROPHECY to drive it-CHARLOTTE DZIURKIEWICZ. PHILIP BUKER was forced to close his latest production, Revivals of the Can-Can, due to the shortage not only of tin, but clothes. His two leading ladies, Lulu and Arabella, formerly JUNE CAPEN and EILEEN CAREY, have gone over to DICK GORDON'S new production, Rendez- vous. JUNE FORBES'S heifers and BETTY BROWN'S chickens won top honors at the Topstield Fair again this year. MILDRED BONZAR and MILBURN DIXON have finally set the date. It took MILBURN thirteen years to say yes, CHRISTINE BAILEY and FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE FIELD are serving as Red Cross nurses in Persia. Both girls like their profession and claim there are three men to one woman over there. Some change from high school days Z! RUTH CARTER has a kindergarten. Her pupils are the best man- nered in town-not that they are afraid of her or anything like that. SHIRLEY ANDERSON, the mother of four children, amuses her neighbors by the way she calls her children. She calls them as her husband, a train conductor, announces stations. MARJORIE DUNCAN la Pons has just returned from Europe and a concert tour. Her clear soprano enraptures her accompanist, ALICE DOHERTY, who sits and gazes at her soulfully through every performance. DOUGLAS JUDD, after raising a moustache, was mistaken for Hitler and shot about five years ago. ELISE WHITE was sued for libel by JAMES SCOTCHY RICHARD- SON for running an article in her daily column, Elise White's Scandals, which stated that Scotchy had been seen leaving the dressing room of ANN POMANACKI, the Pprruutt girl who just won Esquire's Movie Popularity Contest. Elise did not know that Scotchy, a plumber, had been fixing a leak in the shower. PAULINE OLESON has opened up a taxi service between High Street and Howe High. The boys whistled so much at the girls that had to walk to school each day that Pauline thought she would pick up a few people and a little money both at the same time. HELEN SIPPRELL has just opened up a We Do Your Dirty Work Bureau. She invents excuses for late, absent, or night-owlish high school pupils. TAD PLUMLEY started as Helen's associate but was fired for the illegal use of company information. GEORGE OUELLETTE, that great Shakespearean actor, choked in Ham'et's soliloquy last Thursday. We always said that George pronounced his k's too vigorously. RUTH ROGERS has finished her latest book. How To Cuss a Teacher With Ladylike Grace. CLIFFORD SAUNDERS was re-elected to the Senate on the platform, Send your children to school on Saturdays, so they can learn what you missed in high school and come home and tell it to you. PAUL SABRE is piloting the BBAL. iBillerica-Boston Air Linesl BETTY ST. JOHN is his hostess. Betty says that a good philosophy of life can be learned from the BBAL: They both have their ups and downs. JANICE SALTMAN now runs the Saltman Summer School. This school is designed for pupils who wish to graduate in three years. MARY TUTTLE makes her debut in Symphony Hall next week. The old gang back in Billerica have named her the Hstrategical stratiyarianf' -25-