Berlin High School - Lamp Yearbook (Berlin, CT)

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The Class of 1959 THE YEAR: 1984 Good evening! This is CHARLES Cameron Cameron CARTER with tomorrow's news today, broadcasting on Radio Station WCONN. ON THE NATIONAL SCENE: Newly elected president, CARMEN RECCK, and Secretary of State BILL BARRETTA, left today to attend the ping pong tournament at the luxurious home of the opulent STANLEY PAJOR, well-known philanthropist. It was announced this morning by CHARLIE SCHEER, Chairman of the Atomic Energy Commission that Dr. JOYCE PERNAL, fyzzisist, smashed her first atom and her second finger last night. This marks another big milestone in her fabulous career. Fortunately, her chief assistant, COLETTE PERUSSE, was on the spot to administer medicinal aid to the mutilated finger. Sympathetic ALBERT LAWYER was present to mourn for the broken atom. FORREST BOWEN is leading an expedition through a newly discovered passage under the North Pole. This expedition is an attempt to prove how the American Indians migrated to this continent from Asia. At last report, the men all agreed that—it was cold! The members of this courageous crew are DAVID CRAIG, RICHARD SPENDOLINI, RICHARD PADELLI, SHERMAN ROOT, GERRY BITTNER, and JIMMY HAZ-LETT. Millionaire playboy, WILLIAM Trujillo HALL, presented starlet KIM CHURCH (formerly MARGARET) with a DKW as a token of his esteem. Miss Church is presently starring in the motion picture, The Life and Loves of RENEE LAFLAMME, Channel Swimmer.” Now a word from our sponsor. Buy PPP’s—PERRETTA’S Popular Pedios. Here is the new do-it-yourself wraparound shoe. These shoes are marvelous for your feet and can be purchased at the following tanneries'. THOMAS'S Ten Penny Shoe Shoppe, SUFFISH’S Suffering Sandle Store, and HOFFMAN-HULTEN Shoes Inc. Back to the news.” ON THE INTERNATIONAL SCENE: JEFF KLENSKE, the Frank Lloyd Wright of his time, has just finished his twelve-year project of building the first glass bridge, which is located on the River Kwai. FLASH! Noted fisherman and puddle jumper, SHEFF CLARKE, has just sent word to us that while fishing under the bridge, he discovered—A CRACK!! Mr. Clarke stated that he saw MORIE WILLIAMS, noted geologist, earlier tapping his little hammer trying to get a sample of what he believed to be a new form of transparent rock. We were also able to get a statement from the Secretary of Agriculture, GIL GRANT, who was in the area of Japan at that time. In his farmer days, Mr. Grant got 28

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BEST DRESSED Jackie and Rich DONE MOST FOR CLASS MOST CHANGED Judy and Sheff Vicky and Bob BEST DRIVERS Phyllis and Carmen CLASS JOKERS Rachel and Joe CLASS WOLVES Renee and Joe STORY TELLERS MOST SCHOOL SPIRIT Rachel and Carmen Marge and Morie MOST LIKELY TO MOST COURTEOUS SUCCEED Margie and John Maureen and Sheff 27

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in the habit of rising early, and so he was fortunate in witnessing this tragedy. He said that while looking out of the window of his room at 6:00 A.M., he saw Morie standing on the bridge with hammer in hand. Gil is staying at the DAVID CARLSON Inne, which is situated beside the new bridge. NOW ON THE INTERNATIONAL LEVEL: The revolt in Venezuela is growing stronger. Rebel leader, ED BUZANOSKI, is fighting for more rubber because he cannot stretch the present supply far enough. On behalf of Mr. Buzanoski, CHARLENE MYERS, fast talking diplomat, is trying to negotiate terms with the present dictator, JANET SUOMELA. At the present moment the negotiations are at a stalemate. At the United Nations today, MAUREEN KERIN continued her fight for changing the official language from French to Latin. So far, she hasn’t been very successful because RAYMOND BOISVERT, the French delegate to the U.N., insists that French remain the official language. EDDIE SZCZEPANIK was waiting outside of the Security Council’s chamber in order to sell Szczepanik’s Suspenders to secure the insecure Security Council. He wasn’t very successful. This noon, ROBERTA KAYSER, U.N. tour guide, jumped from a window of the Secretariat Building, on the 13th floor. It was the office window of LARRY WEBER and DENNIS FUSARO, executive heads of the HSUNCB — Highly Specialized United Nations Custodians’ Bureau. As she was on her precarious perch. Police Officer RUTH STRAND made a wild grab for Miss Kayser’s arm — but at the vital moment, she was distracted by a handsome male, JOHN WHALEN, who walked down the corridor. Roberta jumped! On her way down, she was heard saying, Everybody hates me! ’’ by KEITH SCHIN-DERWOLF, who was washing windows on the 3rd floor. She was miraculously saved by CALVIN DAVIS and his assistants, GARY RIEDEL, BILL RIEDEL, and ROGER NALDI, who were waiting with a net, below. DAVID BOLLES, Prime Minister of Holland, flew to New York yesterday, seeking funds from financier MARJORIE RUTH ZUK, to build a new dyke so that CATHY MIGLIETTA and other Dutch citizens could pull their fingers out of the leaky one. Time out for a commercial.” Do the chips seem to be stacked against you? Then you need CHESERY’S Chipping Chisels. Complete satisfaction is guaranteed or all chiseled money is refunded. We switch to STATE AND LOCAL NEWS: A new all-woman political party has been established in Connecticut by SUSAN GAY, party leader. Her staunch supporters are SUZANNE PALMER, JOYCE MALONE, KATHY DUTKIEWICZ, SANDY BOZEK, PAT ROMANOWSKI, and many others. Governor TOM LUBY has been trying to exercise the right of eminent domain against stubborn DALE HENRIQUES, who won’t sell his duck farm so that the new freeway can go through his property. MARYANN JOHNSON, postmistress of Berlin, issued a proclamation, stating that in the future, Green Stamps will be given along with regular stamps purchased. The town of Berlin boasts three queens — VICKI BOONE won the state Blushing Contest; ELAINE FLEMING won the Giggling Contest; and JUDY RAMY was elected Mrs. P.T.A. of the year. 29