Berkeley High School - Olla Podrida Yearbook (Berkeley, CA)

Page 10 text:

OLLA PODRIDA :: :: :: BERKELEY HIGH Baron Duncler, of whom this narrative deals, lived in the age of chivalry, in a fine feudal castle situated in one of the European countries. The Baron, living as he did in the age of chivalry, and having an host of tenants and soldiery, of course had to have a violent temper and a case of gout, and, in order to have a story about this renowned personage, he must needs have had a beautiful daughter. It is not necessary to describe a beautiful girl in a story, as the reader will invari- ably picture his or her own ideal anyway so let it be enough for me to say that she was the most beautiful girl in all the country round. History does not relate whether her name was Gwendolyn or Elaine, so she shall be called Elaine, for that is more poetic and befitting. Miss Elaine had a host of suitors, but, with a woman ' s per- versity, she chose the only one with whom her papa was not on good terms. His name was Frederick, and he was the son of a neighboring Baron who was continually wrangling with Baron Duncler. So wdiat should Baron Dnnder do, when he espied young Frederick making a surreptitious visit to the castle, but fly into a violent rage and threaten all sorts of dire things, from punching the young man ' s head to having him kicked off the drawbridge into the moat. Now it was time for Elaine to interfere, and this she did, with tears and suppli- cations that papa should not hurt her poor dear Frederick, although there is still a doubt in the minds of some eminent historians as to whether Elaine ' s portly sire would not have gotten the worst of a settoo with the athletic Frederick. But we will never know what the outcome might have been, for the Baron, moved by his daughter ' s weeping, let Frederick depart in peace. Now this Frederick was a most resourceful youth, as all leading men are, and he immediately began to plot how he might get the old Baron ' s consent to his marriage with Elaine. Not being a desperado, he hardly wished to try the elopement plan, and thus incur the Baron ' s displeasure, although it would By C. B. Castle. 8

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OLLA PODRIDA :: :: :: BERKELEY HIGH But the water was cooling , and now the sheriff and his convicts were free ! At last they reached their clothes, and they kept up a run- ning fire of talk until the last gallus had been fastened to the last pair of overalls with a twig and the last straw hat slammed doAvn over the last dripping head. It was now after noon. The dinner hour was long passed, but of this thev took no note. They robbed an orchard, a bank swallow ' s nest, killed a thrush with the slingshot, and were cooking for more world ' s to conquer. What les ' do? asked Chick. Aw, they ain ' t nothin ' to do. Le ' s go home. ' Right. Ben was spanked by his mother for fighting, going} swim- ming, tearing clothes, and some other things like that. His father did not find him in the hammock because he was spanked, but because his mother insisted on talking about it. Hello, son, said his father. What have you been doing all day? Aw, nothin . They ain ' t never nothin ' to do in this ole place. — M. F., ' 13. 7

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OLLA PODRIDA :: :: :: BERKELEY HIGH have made a capital story had he done so. The result of his planning was that when the doughty old Baron Dunder set forth one day to visit a neighboring Baron, with a guard of a few hired men who were called soldiers because the} wore uni- forms and carried weapons, he was set upon by a score of fierce-looking robbers, whereupon each guard took to his re- spective heels, leaving the Baron with the money bag which it is customary for the nobility of that age to carry in the modern novel, sweating and fuming and cursing, and calling for his guard to come back and defend him. The robbers seemed to hesitate for a moment, until they heard the galloping of horses in the distance, when they set about brandishing their swords in a most terrifying manner. About this time the horsemen hove into view, and the leader, on seeing the robbers, cried out in a loud voice, Avaunt ! base minions ! or something like that. In this enlightened age he would probably have politely asked them to Skidoo! But of course that could not be used here to advantage, on account of the censorship of history professors, who look to the accuracy of historical stories be- cause of their love of the subject, and literary critics, who do the same because the}- are paid to do so. The robbers did as they were bid. and promptly avaunted, and the rescuer proved to be Frederick. The Baron was very grateful and began to cast about him for some suitable gift to give Frederick. He finally told the young man that he could have Elaine, principally because Frederick would prize her so very highly that he would forget that this gift, instead of cost- ing the Baron anything, would take an expense off his hands. So everything came out all right, as was to be expected, and everybody lived happily ever afterward, even the robbers, who were paid a handsome sum for their services by Frederick, according to contract. Reader, if you want to make a popular novel out of this, add some love scenes, and a mystery or so, and you will have one of the six best sellers ready to serve. 9