Beatty (DD 756) - Naval Cruise Book

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THE BOXES ARE COMING! A One-Act Farce by SINBAD The scene opens on gear-stowing time in second-division compartment. A line of sailors laden with huge cartons stretches from an open hatch in the deck at stage left to exit stage right. A pile of cartons sits on the deck next to the open hatch. One carton has been upended to support the generous behind of an SKI with coffee cup in hand. He gazes into space throughout the scene, apparently uninvolved, except that every minute on the minute, without moving, he bellows MOVE IT, SAILORS to no one in particular. But nothing moves. For several moments the scene is one of rigid immobility. A line ensign looks at the sailors, the sailors look at the open hatch, the P 0. looks at space. Suddenly one sailor drops his carton and starts amb- ling calmly toward the exit. Ensign: Hey there, -uli- where are you going? Sailor: (Stops but doesn ' t turn around) I gotta take a. ...gotta go to the head. Ensign: (Confused) Well, er, wait a minute, er,...NO! You can ' t do it! It ' s coming! Sailor: What ' s coming? Ensign: The stuff, the gear, it ' s on its way! Sailor: (Turning wearily) But Sir, I been holding that same box for 20 minutes and we ain ' t gettin ' nowhere. Ensign: I know, I know, but don ' t worry. It ' ll be any minute now. They ' re coming, I tell you. The boxes are coming! P.O. MOVE IT SAILORS! (Sailor opens his mouth wide, jerks his head once vio- lently, closes mouth, then ambles back to place in line and picks up box. Now enter Supply Officer, shuffling walk, counting boxes. He counts his way up the line, counts the pile next to the hatch, pauses briefly to count box under PO ' s butt, then peers into open hatch.) Supply Off icer: Zednik! What ' s the count down there? Zednik: (Voice emerging from the gloom) Whatdya mean, the count? Supply Officer: You ' re counting the boxes, aren ' t you? Zednik: Hell, no, I ' m not counting! How can I count? I only got two inches clearance between the overhead and the top of the boxes. P.O.: MOVE IT, SAILORS! Supply Officer: Well, ah- the point is you gotta count. Zednik: Why aren ' t they counting up there? Supply Officer: Well, er... (looks at PO for a moment, then turns back)... He can ' t possibly count up here. He hasn ' t got a piece of paper. Zednik: Well, how the hell am I going to count down here? Supply Officer: Wait, let me think. (Stands blankly, face contorted with the effort of shifting into THINKING mode of operation, peering into open hatch). Ensign: (After a long, silent pause) Let me help. (Quietly moves over next to Supply Officer, also stares into hatch.) P.O.: (After another pause): MO ' E IT, SAILORS! CURTAIN 24

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THOMAS Mouse BENDLIN SHSX. Beacon Falk, Conn. HERBERT E. TIMBERLAKE SKI, Brockton, Mass. WILLIAM Bill CANHAM SN, Lindhurst, N. J. V V ROGER P. LOTEYRO TN, P. I. JAMES Elbows POTTS SN, Galena, Ohio ALAND. KLEINGARTNER SK2, Fargo, N. D. HERBEniT Gilles GILLESPIE SKSN. East Cleveland, Ohio W m vy DOMINGO Dodi SILVA TN,Zambales, P. I. 23 GERALD Jerr ' TESTA SN, Plainfield, N. J. , F 4 WT ' ' - ANDREW M. ACABBO SK3, New Haven, Conn. RAYMOND STARKS SD2, Newport, R.I. Not Shown MANOLITO N. NAVAL TN, Cotabato, P. I. LEOPODE T. PIMENTEL TN, Cavite City, P. I. CAMIE F. TIMA-AN SDl, Pensacola, Fla JOSEPH L. BRAIS, Jr. SN, Greensburg, Pa.

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ENGINEERING DEPARTMENT ENGINEERING OFFICER The Engineering Department, affectionately known as the snipes ' , function as the guardians of BEATTY ' s machinery, including the steam and propulsion plant and all auxiliai-ies. The Engineering Officer heads the show ably assisted by the Main Propulsion Assistant, the Damage Control Assistant, and the B Division Officer. The De- partment includes three major divisions: M , B , and R . M Division ' s domain includes the ship ' s two engine rooms, where turbines, reduction gear, and associated propulsion equipment must be maintained and operated. To B Division falls the responsibility for the firerooms, and in them, the ship ' s boilers. R Division encom- passes a wide variety of repair and damage control functions, including the maintenance of the ship ' s auxi- liary systems, electrical, internal communications, and ship- fitting. In the eternal, good-natured intership battle over who is the most important, the snipes voices can always be heard loud and clear. Without them, they say, the ship would be without power, heat, hot water, and movement— in other words, NOT a ship, but a helpless hulk. This is quite true. LTJG JOHN Cherub ' RULING Middletown, R. I. U. S. Naval Academy, B. S. H, ATi- = 5T Big Jon and the Cap ' n 25