Bagley (FF 1069) - Naval Cruise Book

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M 1 , .1 '- - - . .-...4,..l.-. g:m:.:+1 'bg-'J 3i:L:l:.'-537.15-T-lic.:41-1-Qgzvznt-1lg:::4Tf 1 . , - ' . . . 1-:..'-3:,-1'+.i51:1,--q,::-g4.-,-,:1::.-1-,-51.: -3.1-.::.'LL,L-gaze. .ug , 1 V TVE BAGLEY BGSU? FMU BAGl:EY PUBLISHING EOICJ1l5Kff1':' THE 'FCI-53' 20253 BNFZQ - 19 SPERO I-'IELIO , JN F FAGLEY Puausnlxzs co:-QPAJ-Sf' ll NOXEMBEB 73 RA VOL If NO, 1 s .d ..u'f'51bEiF 1973 isasao zrmorff VOL. 1, 1-zo. 3 BAR? BECOWES REM-ITY THE STRFF OF THE BARR THF Dnflw gwrc 2195-ru 111: vm: nf Tv -lot ,, K .K ,. . ,. This 15, in its entirety, the MAIN EDITOR carth G iongagf I' g,Z',Q,'1gg'lCg ..,,.i-L , M' if 'L' 'N' n R ' i E ' G if first underground newspaper, pub-. ASSIT. EDITOR Robert Lge? good Colimm Dlxdesuilgrigeg iigwa President, BAGLEY PUB C0 Carth Green lished by the BAGLEY Publishing PQRNOGRAPHY EDITOR John .ran D90Ple. mpg no., ltgouvk I' 2iifQr-:n-chief Robert Laird Company- The PHPPOSS of this weekly HDEAR CLAUDEH EDITOR Bud Rid Ones must amin-glinfgsgfrw--grggiwde cartoonist and Pornography Expert 15 strictly f0I' enteftaillmnt: MOP' ETIQUETTE EXPERT rougher for tm! Qeaceklbn T have received .- John Jones mation, and Cqnic relief. We who edit, qother. members of our Staff refuse t mek from the Hajority-of the DSO-le 'DEI-R CLAUDE Editor Bud Ridgeway write, and SUPPOI47 tm-3 alter-ego POD themselves Publicly known for obviois rei on this 5019- I-Iostlv fvhavepre- Etiquette Editor J' A' Krisiak are going to try to honestly help the asonsj Ceived Contributions' OE. poems In fAnd thanks to the many contributors.l morale on this ship and, in doing SO, PRESENTINC . I 'uh U I-F' F general, most of the poems Welle ' 4-+++++++-++++I+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ hope that this will help our shipmates ' ' ' VW C03-TCLT-J 'DEER CLAUDE by Bud Ridgeway 0 better with each other. getffi xiticles contained herein will be written not only by the members of this 'staffj but by your own shiprfates 35 Well as yourself. We reserve the right to modify anythjngryou may want to gay, but we will try our best to keep the message you intended intact. vulgar-ity and profanity will not be printed, because we feel that any id- ea that needs to be put across to our readers can be worded more subtlely than using the four letter- idiom. we hope to bring a wide selection of articles and features that will in- ter-est everyone aboard. Although, at times, certain articles and subjects will seem to be slanderous to some pa- rticular groups of' people, rates, div- isions, or organizations, we will ult- imately r'ef'rain fi'-om printing any com- ment which is prejudicial in content toward any particular color, race , creed, national origin for sex?J. Everyone is reminded that any com- ment or' opinion expressed herein is not necessarily that of any one mem- ber of' the staff and should not be taken as such. aeaeaneawssaeeexaessaeaeaseeseaeee HUGTE OF THE HEEIZ - 'TIT IS EASIER T0 SE A LOVER THAN A HLISRAHD F055 THE 'SIMPLE REASON THAT IT IS MORE DTFFICULT T0 UITTY EVERY DAY THAN T0 SAY PRETTY THI- FEGS FROM TIME T0 TIME-7' - BALZACWHHH' Contained in this edition of the BAGLEY BOGUS BARB we have the Dear Claude colu- mn where stricken and worried people lean on Bud Ridgeway's shoulder for knee, as appropriatelg the RUMOR COLUMN where the most popular sport on board is recorded fo the enjoyment of allg our own HOROSCOPEg the inevitable DUTY RACK where we star the GUY of the weekg the ETIQUETTE COLUM give ing insights to Messdeck Manners by Krushe Krisiakg COMMISSARIES STATIONARY, OR, ASS- ORTED GARBAGE FROM THE GALLEYg and many more. In the future we hope to bring you such articles as NOTES FROM TH KHAKI LOC- KER, enlightened comments from the Bgrontc craticsg SOUND-OFF where the crew says wh: it means, and means what it saysg HUMAN IIA TEREST COLUM : anyone getting divorced out there? OBITUARIES where we try to kill so- me spaceg please remember that we need art clesg please feel free to submit contribu- tions on any subject to the Assistant Edi- tor, and try to be as breif as possible. fggpg CLAUDQH by Bud Ridgeway I was really excited when I first heard about your new column. 'I'here's a few ques- tions I've been trying to find answers for but so far, when I ask someone, they just hook their finger in their mouth and lau- gh. I'm engaged to a beautiful 27 year ol: divor-cee with 3 lovely children. You woulf dn't believe the terrible things she has gone through. I am currently in WestPac, but have been sending my pay checks back to her for our life together when I get oi. of the Navy in 33 years. 'Ihe problem is there seems to be a lack of communications between us since I have been at sea. Shei has sent only two post cards, and moved to North Hollywood in the two months I've been gone. She wrote on one of' the post card: to send more rroney, but until my loan goes through I don't know how she'll survive on the S600 a month I send her. Please try to help me get a hold of her' to let -het-I know money is on the way. DESPERATE. BOBBY BHJEGILL. DMR DESPERATE2 I HOPE THE Gr- RIZFE E?-UOYS ALL THE FREE EEER NB HE XS GETTIFTQ JUST SHIQEIMG fx PAIR OF FAME, THE LEAST HE COULD D0 IS 'RITE Wifi? SHE DOES! T.. 30?-5 T 'KERRY HCOIx I!-3 YOUR F'DU1'3-3 EITEER, IT WILL OUT AI-TER SHE GETS TIRE OF YOU. fH f 'H'H' Very EOOG, and in this issue, I shall print a number of them. Not to be looking a gift horse in the mouth, I would still like to see more contributions in the form of articles: they could range from anywhere from science-fact to fan-' tasy, from a bizarre theory on the purpose of' mosquitoes to the sobering thoughts of a man a long way from home. Because of the excessive lack of space, I can 0113-IV Print a few of the poems each week, and number I have received will keep the paper alive and well' for quite a while. An article, on the other hand, is quite a r-are sight among the manuscripts in my file, and I would be tempted to print just about any article that may happen along. The creative- ness quotient among the people of this vessel has sky-rocketed and hopefully it has surpassed escape velocity. A suggestion to all, is a remi- nder' that Christmas is on its way., Naturally I expect the usual twi- sted version of NThe Night Before Christmasm, but the more original the more ingenious, the more pri- ntable! Remember that this is your paper and only you can supp- ort it . Mpologies to all on the be- lated distribution of this weeks paper. Business engagements, the Publishers Convention, and several malfunctions in our presses delayed this issue, and may delay future issues, but I shall try to keep the weekly, a true weekly.D OF Tfflf 9555512 ?'fffE?'-E YCUUTE UP TO ffLQT0if'S If? ELLIGLTOTTTT1 Ti' IT ?!f1f?F? T0 PE- Eiffffl, V01312fZ'i,F T1 ENS' YOIITI If'l'TT1i.. Ii-JTEf'i- TIN? 57.573 TO 1WaT.I THE S' - AIIONYMOUS E!IiI!H5ll!!I!II!!fI!iiIH!IlIii!!l!!i! EIIHIIIIIIIIiIIIlliI!IHIE!IliI!iIHII! I have just received a letter fiom nw wife, and it sounded a little strarfqe after being married only three months. The letter' reads thusly, Dear John, After a couple of' months of deep thought I have come to the decision I no longer fwant to see or hear from you again. I know this will be a terrible shock to you, but I am in love with another. Al- ways, Terri I-Ly question is this: what shall I do being I'm overseas and she's back home? DAVID HLDEGERFORD '3 , .7 155262 HY ,FDVICF XS T0 FTESECL THE EWLOPE F-if lL IT T0 THIS GUY IL-'Y-TD JU-TT, PS IT IS OWVXKYJF 'PTT IT WS UTE- FN? YOU? '!FF S ESOYFVIETEO. WHO CARES? submitted by J. Ostrander A friend of ours says that in various ways, a woman resembles the continents of the world: From l3-l8 she is like Africa -- virgin territory, unexplored. 19-30 she's like Asia -- hot and exotic. 31-165 she is like America -- fully expl- ored and free with her resources. D6-55, she is like Europe -- fully exhausted but not without points of interest. And aftex 55, she's like Australia -- everybody knows its down there, but who cares? HHIHI HIIIIH ll illl IIHIIH Illlll Illl fl UHIHI EEHIIH ETj1QPIQ - What may or may not be of gen- eral interest to everyone is this concise look at the country we'1lsoon be visiting: what was once thc center' of the empire of Abyssinia is now the mountainous country of Ethiopia. Her' population approaching 26 million, she is an independent nation ruled by a constitutional monarchy with Ehperor Haile Selassie I , 225th consecu- tive Solomonic ruler, as head honcho. Coffeeg born here, is of' very high qua- lity. An Ethiopian Archbishop appointed by the Emperor heads the Coptic, Monophy- site branch of the Christian religion. English is widely taught. For six months the ship is our home. Twenty-four hours a day, we live in a space which is about 440 feet by 45 feet by 100 feet. The metal passageways become as familiar as eating and breathing, a part of our lives, a part of us. Q!HEHhllHuIIllllFiLF IIKIISLZIIIIIIBHEIIIHIIHH I!

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