Augusta High School - Wapiti Yearbook (Augusta, MT)

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CLASS PROPHECY The year is 2020. There is a radio on the shelf. It cackles brokenly, “World War 111 has officially started ... Russia has launched their missiles ... urge...seek shelter...1 repeat we urge you to seek shelter.” The radio tunes out and is then shut off. We look around and see that we are underneath a well known establishment called Mac Dons. The light from the hurricane lamp shows us the concrete walls of a bomb shelter with a periscope to look out. The pro- prietor of the Mac Dons Supper Club is sitting down in a chair. He is known world wide as Colonel Fuzz. His real name is Peter Fusaro. Stacked on shelves is a four years supply of Big Wacs, Fraggs. Croke, with lots of Kratchmup. These are the best selling items of Mac Dons. A mysterious figure appears at the door. A tranch coat and a large hat conceal his body, except for his nose. “This must be that shifty Darren Hitchcock”, Pete thinks, “I wonder how he got out of prison so soon.” “Hey buddy, wanna buy a watch?” Darren opens up his coat revealing numerous, obviously stolen, wat- ches. Before Pete can answer, he is interupted by a faint “Tweet deep beep...” (translation) “Help, let me in.” The door is opened and in rolls a little robot. A hatch opens and out pops Bob Williams. Bob is starring in the 50th episode of the Star Wars saga as R2-D2 and is doubling as the head Ewok. As the door is closing, something with green hair squeezes through. “Is this one of your friends from the movie?” Peter asks Bob. “I’ve never seen IT in my life.” Bob answers. It says, “Like fer sure man. Its like cosmic out there. Like did you see the fireworks? FAR OUT!!” With these words they figure out that it is LeAnn Allen, drop out of ‘Dahls Beauty School. She is now employed in the San Fernando Valley as a Valley girl Punk Hair stylist. From outside a tinkling of bells is heard. Peter goes and opens the door. A girl in a belly dancing dress comes slinking in. It is Debbi Harris, she has been indebted to a shiek in Siberia for saving her life. She tells everybody that Mr. Fossum defecte;d to the Soviet Union after the 1984 Graduation. He was later exiled to Siberia where he is a camel driver In a salt mine. Bob crawls up onto his robot to look through the periscope. He spots Mike Fasbender. After High School, Mike couldn’t decide which one of his many girl friends to marry. To remedy this problem he moved to Utah and married them all. Mike is the owner of a successful used car lot. Bobby Carter comes limping in and struggles to sit down. Bobby has developed a drug so people don’t have to fake pain. He whips out his wallet and gives everyone a card. It reads “Robert Caiter-Chiropractor”. Next, Kessie Galahan jogs in. She has just won the Boston Marathon. Not only did she beat famale con- testants, she beat the men also. She has run all the way from Boston, dodging missiles on the way, and is not even winded. We now see Cecil Goodman pulling up in his blue four-wheel drive. He gets out and sprints for the fall-out shelter, but suddenly he turns around. He races back to his pick-up, grabs something out of the cab and stuffs it into his coat. As he is walking into the door, a missile lands nearby and blows up his truck. Cecil screams “Oh my God! Its not even paid for yet”. Seeing his coat bulging, Mike asks what he has. To this Cecil proudly replies. “After 36 years in summer school I finally got it.” “What? What is it?” They all ask. Cecil smiles and produces his Augusta High School Diploma. There is a commotion in the back of the room We turn around and see that Pete has thrown a switch. The back wall slowly swings away revealing a multitude of beer kegs and bottles of hard liquor. He turns to the Graduating calss of 1984, and Cecil. Then Peter yells, “Hey dudes! Lets party!!!’

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f CLASS HISTORY In the fall of 1980, 12 Augusta and Lincoln juveniles were sentenced to 4 years of learn- ing in the Augusta High Penitentiary. Appointed head cellsman was LeAnn Allen. To help LeAnn out with her job was Kelly Broere as Vice cellsman. The person appointed to keep track of the number of days left was Kathy Beirsch. It was a very tough year, being the first, and our wardens, Mr. Galahan and Mr. Wearley didn’t make it very easy on us. The wardens told us we had to make a float and to elect some candidates for a Homecoming. We didn't really know what they were talking about, but we did it anyway. Our float was “Elks Cause Power Failure”, and it even got second place. Our candidates were Anita Cyr and Mike Fasbender. The second year was really interesting and it was also a little crowded in the cells. There were 20 of us serving time. Appointed head cellsman was Peter Fusaro, and assistant cellsman was Mike Fasbender, Bobby Carter was supposed to keep track of the days we had left but he didn’t do a good job, so we appointed Kelly Broere to help him. We were really getting rolling in our second year. We knew the penitentiary pretty well and things were going pretty well. Our candidates for Homecoming were Cheryl Lundberg and Peter Fusaro. Cheryl was our Princess that year. Our float was titled “Can the Cards”, and it got third place. The third year was a year for big changes. Since the cell got to over crowded, the State had to build a new penitentiary in Lincoln. This cut the cell down so there were only 8 of us left. Our head cellsman was Kessie Galahan, and LeAnn Allen was to help Kessie. Bobby Carter was again appointed to keep track of the days left. Our Homecoming candidates for that year were Bobby Carter and LeAnn Allen. Bobby got Prince. Our float was called “Ship 'Em Out. We didn’t spend to much time decorating it, so it didn’t even place. Our final year in the penitentiary went by very quickly. We soon had elected Mike Fasbender head cellsman and LeAnn Vice cellsman. Kessie was to keep track of the few days we had left. Peter Fusaro and LeAnn Allen were picked as Homecoming candidates. They were elected King and Queen. The float was called, “Wipe 'Em Out . It didn't even place cause instead of working on the float we were busy initiating the Freshman. On May 18, 1984, out sentence was up and we were all set free. Page 5

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SENIOR CLASS WILL Debbi — wills her glasses to the Basketball Refs and to anyone elso who needs them. She also wills her loud mouth to Melinda Stankewich. KESSIE — wills her wild ways to Vicki Luciano and her calmness in Basketball games to Amy Simkins. Bobby — wills his ability to sit through three of Mr. Wilson’s classes a day without falling a sleep to anyone stupid enough to want to try. Cecil — wills his good taste in vehicles to Mr. Wilson. Peter — wills his size to Jared Slanger so when Jared gets bossy he can back himself up. He also wills his abili- ty to have a good time to Dusty Fasbender so Dusty won t have to spend all his time entertaining eighth graders. Darren — wills his superior brain power to Roy Salisbary so he will make it through school and his ability to stay out of trouble to Richard Scherrer because he will need it. LeAnn — wills her quietness and shyness to Paula Allen. She also wills all her good times she had in high school to everyone because high school is the funnest time of your life, also her ability to bribe Mr. Wilson to everyone. Mike — wills his expertise at finding women (in other towns) to the boys at AHS because they will need all the help they can get He also wills his cars to anyone who wants them. Bob — wills his ability to be a commy to Bret Allen. The Class of ’84 — wills their charm, brains, good looks, and ability to be so AWESOME to everyone else because they need it “BAD”!!!