Athens State College - Columns Yearbook (Athens, AL)

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Almost before I knew it, we had crossed the Pacific and were in Idaho, the State of beautiful views. We stopped at a spring, and while we were standing there a big touring car came up and stopped near us. Out of the car stepped a handsome middle-aged man, who took great pains in lifting out the lady who accompanied him. It was quite easy to see that they were newly married. And when the woman lifted her veil to drink of the water at the spring, whose face should I see but Anna Dinsmore ' s, or at least the face of the Anna Dinsmore that was, for her name was no longer Dinsmore, and she and her husband were spending their honeymoon touring Scen- ic Idaho. It was only the work of a few moments to go from Idaho into Montana. Here another surprise awaited me. My companion guided me to a little log schoolhouse on the outskirts of a mining town. In the door of the schoolhouse stood a little woman with hair drawn tightly back from her face and spectacles on. the nose. In her hand she held a large stick, and I knew she must make li fe very hard for her pupils. It took a second glance to recognize my old friend, Eunice McDonnald. She is teaching in order to go to New York and study art, my guide whispered. Well, if she hasn ' t been to New York yet, I ' m afraid she won ' t ever get there. Well, I ' ve seen all of my old classmates but Kathouise, I wonder where she can be, I said to my compan- ion, as we took our leave. We have only ten minutes left so we will not have time to see her, but I will tell you about her, was the answer I received. He then told me that she was a student in the University of Chi- cago, and that she would take her Ph.D. from that institution in a few months. I always knew Kathonise would do something really great, but I do wish I could have seen her. Ten minutes later found us soaring over southern Illinois, where my companion suddenly dropped down into a lonely graveyard, while I, of course, followed. What are we doing here? I asked, when we were safely on the ground. Wait and you shall see, he replied. Why I ' ve already seen all of my classmates and then it suddenly dawned upon me what he might mean, and in horror I turned and fled, running against a tombstone in my haste. Bang, went something. I looked down, and there on the floor lay my psychology, which had fallen from my lap, and the magic helmet and all had disappeared. Prophet ' 12. A-tb-ens College Library i tJiexxs. A-lat aT«» (31

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to make in Brown Hall. I longed to go up and speak to her, but Brownie said I must not, so we hurriedly left the building. We then made our way through dense crowds of people until we came to a narrow street lined on both sides with tall buildings. This is Wall Street, said my companion. Just then I looked up and saw the sign, A. M. Buchanan, Financier, on a window far above me. A. M. Buchanan, why that must be Annie Buck. Please let ' s see if it is. So my little guide and I flew up to the window and looked in. And there, sure enough, dictating to a stenographer was our own Annie Buck. Annie, I cried, starting toward her, but remembering that she could not see me, I hastily took my departure, followed by Brownie. Well, I suppose her experience with The Athenian and The Oracle is responsible for this. Annie always did come out several dollars ahead in everything that she undertook. Come on, said my companion, we have much more to do yet and very little time in which to do it. Soon we were moving over the Atlantic. I wanted to look down, but we were flying so rapidly that I could hardly get my breath, and I was afraid my sandals would drop off and I would land on the bottom of the ocean if I stopped. So I consumed the time in thinking of my old classmates and wondering where they were. Soon an airship came into view, and as we passed by it I caught a glimpse of a face I had not forgotten. It was that of Sadie Sturdi- vant, tall, lean, lanky Sadie. After visiting all the cities of America and breaking the heart of every man she met, she was now on her way to Europe to win for herself a duke or a lord, I suppose. England and France were passed over unnoticed, and we soon found ourselves in one of the crowded streets of Berlin. Here I received the greatest surprise of all. On a street corner, surrounded by great crowds of wom- en, stood Maggie Griffith, making a speech on Woman ' s Rights. Well, I always knew Maggie was deeply in- terested in woman ' s suffrage, but I didn ' t think it would ever come to this. Why, she ' s President of the Wom- an ' s Suffrage League of America, I heard someone near me say. Well, I ' m sure if everyone were as much in- terested in woman ' s suffrage as I gathered that Maggie was from the speech I heard, we wouldn ' t have much trouble getting our rights. What would happen next I could not imagine, and so absorbed was I in thinking of what I had already seen, that I paid no attention to the countries over which we were passing, and I was somewhat startled when I found myself alighting in the heart of Korea. Before me stood a beautiful granite building above the door of which were engraved the words, Persinger Hospital. I wondered if that could be Mary P. I always thought she would make either a good missionary or — an actress. While I stood there thinking about it, Mary P. herself came out of the door and down the steps. In her hand she carried a medicine case, and I knew that it was she who was at the head of this great institution. Already, Brownie said to me : The time the gods have allowed me to help you will soon be up and we must hasten back to the United States. (30)

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Statistics STATISTICS! Now you needn ' t look bored: I know the mere word strikes horror to many timid souls, but since it is my business to gather the statistics of this most notable class, and since you are forced to listen or to jump up and run away, I shall proceed to give you in a numerical ratio, the geometrical proportions of this hard-worked, well-informed, never-to-be-forgotten, woe - begone, happy-go-lucky- class. As the statistician of the greatest class that has ever gone out from these college halls, the read- er who is known for her conservative statements will endeavor to tell you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. To begin in a logical order, the first item is our number. There are nine of us ; taken altogether we are called the Nine Muses; ' separately we are known as Annie Buck, Mary P., Mary Key, P. IMarlowe, Cowpeas, Anna Virginia, Maggy, Miss Zaide, and IMe. The next thing to be taken into consideration is our youth. We are 175 years of age. Now you may think that rather ancient, but since }0U know that with age comes wisdom, experience and a great many lovely traits of character, you can very readily understand why we are so full of wisdom, so rich in experience and are so lovable. Some have had the audacity to insinuate that the head of this class has become rather inflated, and you may think so, too, when I tell you that the distance around it is IT ' z feet. But when you learn that the weight of this class is 1,145 1-99 pounds, you will very readily see that even though it should become as inflated as Count Zeppelin ' s newest dirigible, there will be little danger of our getting awa}- from the earth earthy. When I tell you that as Freshmen this head measured only 10j4 feet around, and that we have not greatly increased in physical growth during this time, I believe that you will agree with me that this increase of 7% feet is, unquestionably, due to brain expansion. For have we not taken in. digested and assimilated all the knowledge found in a stack of books 56 feet 5J 2 inches high, containing 25,999,861 J pages, and 1,076,383,580 words ? I failed to state above that the head measurement just mentioned was taken without rats. When rats are included it is increased to 2354 feet. It will probably be well to say just here that this most worthy class is not seriously addicted to the use of rats, ribbons being preferred, because they save time, and we need all of our spare time for rewriting Enghsh themes. Miss Maggie Griffith, who possesses the most mathematical turn of mind of any in the class, has found by a very complicated system of calculations that we each occupy an average of 41 cubic feet of space ; and taken all together we occupy 369 cubic feet. As to whether there will be a quiet calm or an aching void, which the world can never fill, when we leave these halls, it will be left for others to decide. If an aching void, it will be a deep one, if measured from tlie top downward, for we tower to the sublime height of 110 feet, 2 1-16 inches. This one characteristic renders us expert observers for all kinds of astronomical observations anywhere within the ethereal sphere. Another very remarkable feature of our class is that we are all more or less accomplished. It adds materially to the lustre of our crown to have four musicians, two artists, one would-be-artist, one elocutionist and one fluent linguist among our number. (32)