Ashland (LSD 48) - Naval Cruise Book

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USS ASHLAND (LSD 48) PLAN OF THE DAY ' ' ■I f ra?tEffM-T 3fe TOMENTl ' W ' RETCHE vUNffOR FOLLOWS. LLON LWERSH TROL ' SERi lAPP 3.LEF 4.T-SE 5.SH0 FOR CROSSING THE LINE USE ONLY ALL WOGS ARE CHARGED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY OF READING THE POD CARRY OUT THE NORMAL UNDERWAY ROUTINE AS DELINEATED BY KING NEPTUNE OF THE RAGING MAIN EXCEPT AS MODIFIED BELOW: FRIDAY 5 NOVEMBER 1993 0400 - BREAKFAST FOR ALL LOYAL, TRUSIY SHELLBACKS 0430 - REVEILLE FOR ALL SLIMY WOGS 0500 - MUSTER ALL WOGS ON THE FOCSLE FOR LAST RITES AND BREAKFAST 0500 - DAVY JONES ARRIVES 0515 - ARRIVAL OF HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS NEPTUNES REX, RULER OF THE RAGING MAIN 53 - COMMENCE THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT 1200 - CLEAN UP SHIP NOTES AND ORDERS: 1 . THOUGHT FOR THE DAY : THE ONLY GOOD WOG IS AN INITIATED WOG. DAVY JONES 2 MISHAPS : A. WHILE UNDERWAY, WOGS SAILED TOO CLOSE TO EQUATOR AND SUFFERED THE THREE TB A TLOY FLU ALT CLEANSE n mi mm WLKNO RESPEQ B,.A. SLTiVIVE C.BE SIOMACL ewmys AREREU WRATH OF HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS, NEPTUNUS REX, RULER OF THE RAGING MAIL. BRUISED RUMP, SHATTERED SPIRIT, RUPTURED TASTE BUDS AND OTHER AFFLICTIONS TOO SORDID

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! IPW ' ■ M. r ' 7 ill n J Crew Ashore

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TO MENTION WERE ONLY A SMATTERING OF INDIGNITIES HEAPED UPON THEIR WOEFUL SOULS AND WRETCHED SLIMY BODIES. 3: UNIFORM REQUIREMENTS FOR ALL WOGS: Till UNIFORM FOR ALL WOGS WHEN CROSSING i iiH LINE IS AS FOLLOWS: I. LONG KHAKI OR DUNGAREE OR CAMOUGLAGE TROUSERS SKIVVY SHORTS AND INSIDE OUT WITH UNDERSHIRT INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARDS. SKIVVY SHORTS MUST BE WORN BACKWARDS OUTSIDE THE TROUSERS. : APPROPRIATE FOOTWEAR ( NO SANDLES OR SHOWER SHOES ) . 3. LEFT PANTS LEG ROLLED UP TO ABOVE THE KNEE. 4. T-SHIRTS WILL HAVE A ONE FOOT HIGH. BLACK woe, STENCILLED ON BACK. 5. SHOWER SHOES SECURELY TAPED ON KNEES AND HAND PADS (OPTIONAL). 4. UNIFORM FOR SHELLBACKS ALL LOYAL. TRUSTY SHELLBACKS ARE INVITED TO PARTICIPATE IN THE CEREMONY IN APPROPRIATE COSTUMES OF THEIR OWN DESIGN. 5. HEALTH NOTE : SORRY WOGS. ITS A LITTLE LATE TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. 6. WOG WATCHBILL: DON ' T WORRY ABOUT IT WOGS, WELL TELL YOU WHERE WE WANT YOU, WHEN WE WANT YOU . AND HOW WE WANT YOU DRESSED WHEN WE FEEL YOU NEED TO KNOW. 7. WOG DUTIES : A. SUBMIT YOURSELF TO KING NEPTUNE ' S COURT. B. OBEY ALL ORDERS ISSUED BY ANY LOYAL. TRUSTY SHELLBACK. C. ADHERE TO WOG UNIFORM REGS. D. KEEP A SENSE OF HUMOR. E. NEW SHELLBACKS ARE NOT TO TAKE PART IN THE INITIATION CEREMONY BUT MAY WATCH FROM THE 05 LEVEL ONCE THEY HAVE COMPLETED IT 8. SPECIAL CASES : ONLY THE ROYAL COURT CAN SEND A WOG BACK THROUGH THE LINE (MAXIMUM OF THREE TIMES. AS RECORDED BY THE ROYAL SCRIBE). BUT WILL ENTERTAIN THE RECOMMENDATIONS OF ANY LOYAL. TRUSTY SHELLBACK IN REGARDS TO THIS MATTER. ALL LOYAL, TRUSTY SHELLBACK HAVE FULL AUTHORITY TO ALTER THE PROCEEDINGS SET FORTH AS THEY DEEM NECESSARY TO PROPERLY CLEANSE SPECIAL CASES . 9. MISCELLANEOUS NOTES: A. IMMEDIATELY ONE THE ARRIVAL OF KING NEPTUNE AND HIS ROYAL PARTY, POLLYWOGS WILL AS- SUME THE POSITION OF SUBMISSION AND HUMBLE RESPECT - ON YOUR SLIMY HANDS AND KNEES WITH YOUR NOSE ON DECK AND STERN IN THE AIR. THE ROYAL SHERIFF AND PIRATES WILL ENSURE THAT DUE RESPECT IS RENDERED. B. ANY WOG ATTEMPTING TO DOLE OUT PUNISHMENT TO A LOYAL, TRUSTY SHELLBACK WILL NOT SURVIVE A SECOND VISIT TO THE COURT. C. BE OF GOOD CHEER, LOWLY SCOREBUTIC WOG, FOR IF YOU BE OF HARDY STOCK AND OF STRONG STOMACH YOU MAY FIND YOURSELF AT DAYS END A LOYAL, TRUSTY SHELLBACK AND WISE OF THE SOL- EMN MYSTERIES OF THE ANCIENT ORDER OF THE DEER THAT IS, IF YOU DON ' T PERISH IN THE ATTEMPT AND ARE RELEGATED TO THE ROYAL COMPOST PILE. D. W. KEITH SENIOR SHELLBACK (NOT OLDEST) COMMANDING OFFICER