Arsenal Technical High School - Arsenal Cannon Yearbook (Indianapolis, IN)
- Class of 1921
Page 1 of 70
Pages 6 - 7
Pages 10 - 11
Pages 14 - 15
Pages 8 - 9
Pages 12 - 13
Pages 16 - 17
Text from Pages 1 - 70 of the 1921 volume:
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ARSENAL TECHNICAL SCHOOLS
Volume XXXVII No. 156 June 7, 1931 Price 50 cents per copy
FCRMER TECH STUDENTS
RIVALS FOR GOVERNCRSHIP
Republican and Democratic Nominees
are Making a Vigorous Campaign
Intense Interest Over the State Lead Both Parties to Believe
They will Carry the Election.
It seems that the Republican-Democratic fight for governership this year
is unusually severe. Both parties have launched their best in hope of win-
ning the coming election. Yale Raymond, a prominent lawyer of this city,
is the Republican nominee. Zenda Bertram, who has won renown as a
Social worker, is the equally strong Democratic nominee. The desire of
these two candidates for otlice holding began with their race for President and
Vice-President respectively of the June ,ZI class of Technical High School.
Both nominees are planning an extensive tour of the state as a close election
is certain. Which will have your vote?
New Method to Qlell Uprising
New York City, June 7: lV1iss Laura Leedle
has received a message by mental telegraphy
summoning her and her co-worker, Miss
Margaret Brockman, to quell an uprising in
The Congo Tribes have rebelled against their
chiefs who are endeavoring to keep them in
the chains of ignorance and superstition.
That these two eminent psychologists will
effect a peaceful compromise between the two
factions is undoubted, for by their wonderful
psychological powers they have broken several
nation-wide strikes which have threatened this
country with most dire calamity.
New Bill Before Senate.
Washington, June 6: The Bill of Senator
Louise Kline was placed before the Senate
today. Senator Kline purposes to make it a
serious misdemeanor for men to congregate on
the streets in crowds of more than three.
Explosion Proves Costly
Nashville, Ind. June 7: An explosion in the
laboratory at the summer home of Professor
August Aldag destroyed chemicals which can
be replaced only with great difficulty. Pro-
fessor was working upon an experiment which
if successful, would have been of great value.
Page Eighteen Qtbe Zlrsznal Clllannun
Household Dummy Invented
San Francisco, Cal. June 7: Paul Hodges,
the noted scientist, has recently completed an
invention ofa household dummy. The dummy
is run by electricity and will do all kinds of
housework, thereby taking a great load from
the shoulders of the weary house-husband.
Mr. Hodges can testify to the Dumrny's
efliciency since he has thoroughly tested it out
in his own home.
Relief For Mars
According to a wire received by Donald
Rose, president of the Relief Club, Dr. Esther
Luebking of the American Committee for
Mars Famine Fund will be in this city to-
morrow to confer with Ex-Senators Josephine
Day and Louise Shallenberger who are planning
to go to Mars to aid in the relief work.
Mr. Rose has planned to hold a mass meeting
for interested citizens in the large amphitheatre
on the Technical campus.
Drug Store Robbcd
Loss Estimated at 3400
An early morning robbery in the G. and
J. Callahan Pharmacy was reported to detec-
tives Jack Jones and Herman Lieber by George
Callahan, manager of the store. Entrance was
gained thru an adjoining law office which
belongs to Dan Alig.
Russell Bray, a chicken fancier, residing
north of the city, was today displaying a new
medal won at the United States Fancieris
Association. He deals entirely with the new
brown Plymouth Rocks and has a model
chicken farm. He takes great pride in the
place, and was overheard to say, "The reason
I don't marry is that I could not bear to see a
woman messin' with my chickens."
Scores Attitude Toward Plays
There is too much discussion concerning
the psychology of the Shakesperean plays,
according to Gerrit Bates, the Shakesperean
star, who with Hal Griggs, was honor guest at
a luncheon given yesterday by Hughes Up-
degraph, president of the Indianapolis Drama
League, at the New Central Hotel. "Shake-
spere wrote the plays to be acted and to give
entertainment, exactly as does Anna C. Gard-
ner, our modern playwright," said Mr. Bates.
Karl Fischer, with the help of his competent
business manager, Paul Sheldon, has won fame
as a cartoonist, and is deluged with requests
to lecture and entertain. He is the creator
of the popular Archie Cbaldb James, the original
of which is James Tipton. This humorous
character resembles, in many respects, the
Roger Bean of Chic Jackson, with whom the
readers of the Indianapolis Star were familiar
some years ago.
A Second Riley
Kokomo, Ind. June 7: We have often
wondered who would succeed our beloved
Hoosier poet, James Whitcomb Riley, in
immortalizing the dear .familiar home scenes.
Some here believe his successor to be Hazel
Meier who first appeared in this light as a
senior in high school.
The Neal Carter Publishing Company has
recently published a volume of Miss Meier's
verse. Every true Hoosier will delight in
reading these poems, especially those which
sing of the beauty of the Tech campus and of
the pioneer days of the great school.
Dr. hflyron Hopper, known thruout the
central states as a dentist, was slightly in-
jured yesterday while pulling the teeth of a
horse. Dr. Hopper told Miss Marjory Burton,
representative of the News, that he had un-
derestimated the quantity of cocaine necessary
to use on a horse.
Dick IfVatson is playing to packed houses
in Europe. As a young man, he started in the
lumber business but the lure of the footlights
was too much for him. He first traveled with
Barnum and Baileyis Circus where he rapidly
rose to dizzy heights. For some seasons he
played with Fred Stone. He realized that
comedy was his line and developed this until
now he is called the "funniest man on earth."
Appointed Secretary cf Peace
Washington, D. C. June 7: Under the new
administration, Miss Sabra Lewis has been
appointed Secretary of Peace. Since the women
have gained control of affairs in Washington
the Department of Peace has been established
to take the place of the former Department of
The Qrsenal Qtannun Page Nineteen
Crowds View Parade
Air Traffic Blocked
All air traffic stopped, this morning, to gaze
at the parade of fashion models from Cedrick's
Fashion Shop. The long line of beautiful
models was led by the Misses Luise Harris and
Dorothea Reissner. The wonderful display
of the latest fashions attracted such dense
crowds that the chief of police of the aerial
service was forced to call for aid.
Enlarge Designing Establishment
In response to the increasing demands of
her patrons Miss Naomi Daugherty has en-
larged her designing establishment which now
rivals those of Paris. Indianapolis no longer
finds it necessary to send buyers to New York
in search of gowns.
Other partners in the firm are Marjory
Spencer, Clarence Cochran, and Marshall
Begins New Duties
Mr. William Shreve, newly appointed man-
ager of the News Circulation Department,
undertakes his new duties Wednesday morning,
June 8, when he meets all station managers at
his office. Mr. Shreve has been connected
with the News since his graduation from Tech-
nical High School in June, 1921.
Mayor Makes Appointments
Former Techonians Named
Evansville, Ind. April 7: Mayor Howard
Foltz made known today the following appoint-
ments: Julian Davis, librarian, and Frances
Yorn, assistant, Louise Padou and Emily
Beigler, Captains in the Evansville Air Police
In a Personal Way
Miss Esther Lipsey has returned from the
East where she has been speaking in defense
of more rights for women.
Charlie Sargent drove to the city, yesterday,
in his new airplane, to pay his delinquent taxes.
Mr. Hugh Thomson, a well known artist
of New York City, will address the members of
the Art Association. During his stay in the
city he will be the guest of Mr. and Mrs.
Howard White, 9753 Central Ave.
Mrs. R. E. Caylor CMiriam Elleryj was un-
animously elected president ofthe State Federa-
tion of Women's Clubs. Mrs. Caylor has been
prominent in club circles for a number of years
and will render valuable service in this position.
Loans Money on Real Estate
Security at Lowest Rates
Pay 5 per cent on Deposits
Robert Hittle, Secretary
Madame Helen Elrod Jessup
Big reduction on all Hats
29 Drexel Boulevard
Switches, Curls, Pompadours
Expert Hair Dyeing
Miss Travella Ioor Miss Katherine Gould
Miss Jessie Soltau
102 Washington Bldg. Wilmette 0946
Notice To Autoists
Mechanical Work Done At
We Employ None But The
Best Auto Mechanics
George Scott Merle Miller
126 N. Randolph St. Laville 6192
Euan jaineteen Qlmzntp-une
There's a school in Indiana
We love with heart most true
It's famous for its loyalty
And for its spirit too.
Its standards high and noble,
Are the aim of great and small
It's Tech our Alma Mater,
Oh, hail it, one and all.
Oh, Technical, dear Technical,
June '21 must say goodby,
We've studied here for four years
Our love for Tech will never die.
There's a class in dear old Technical
That soon goodby must say.
And from the Wooded campus wide
With hope, they must away.
Classmates true must say farewell,
In Tech their work is done
But there they'll always hold a place
June Nineteen Twenty-one.
Page Twenty The Qrsenal Gannon
In September, 1917, the members of this
graduating class entered the gates of Arsenal
Technical High School, and trod, for the first
time, its paths which led us thru the beautiful
campus to the brand new Annex where we
reported for duty.
We immediately felt the military atmosp-
here that has always, since the days of the old
Government Arsenal, lingered about our school,
and which had been intensified that year by
echoes of the war across the sea. We early
caught the Tech spirit of co-operation and felt
that we were "doing our bit" in the Great
War when the various roll rooms adopted and
supported four French orphans. We also held
exciting campaigns and races to sell War Saving
Stamps. The most important event of the
year was the dedication of the Service Flag
which at that time had thirty stars.
The winter swiftly passed and with the
coming of spring all the beauties of the campus
were revealed. Our love for Technical and
our loyalty to it increased each day. With the
Spring term came the first clean-up day, forty-
five minutes of snakes, hysterics, and hard
laborC?D. The next event was the establish-
ment of Arbor Day by the Senior Class, a
custom that has continued thru the following
years. Each senior invited a freshman as his
guest. Two members of our class attended,
Margaret Markey and Martin lVlcCracken.
The patriotic spirit, aroused by the War,
demonstrated itself at Technical when, on
April 16, 1918,the Arsenal Reserves were formed
May 2, 1918. Superme Day, the annivers-
ary of the day when the Supreme Court de-
cided to make Technical a permanent school,
was celebrated with dances, a pageant, and
drills. Those members of our class who partici-
pated in the first Supreme Day celebration
were Alice Haville, Helen Wiebke, Lois Booth,
Laura Leedle, June Hefner, Margaret Brock-
man, Howard Laughner, Margaret Markey,
Julia Becherer, Katherine Hurlbert, Frances
Leiter, Frances Brown, Dorothy Martin, and
After what seemed a brief vacation, we again
gathered at Technical. Great enthusiasm
among the boys was displayed when Captain
Hardin formed the High School Cadets. All
the boys who were at Tech during the fall
semester of 1918 were members of this organi-
The spring semester of 1919 was crowded
with events. First, our band stepped into
prominence when it led the parade in honor of
Rear Admiral Sims and Secretary of the Treas-
ury, Carter Glass. The Welcome Home, an
open house day for alumni, parents, and friends
was well attended. Then, after a postpone-
ment due to inclement weather, the second
Supreme Day was celebrated. The following
members of the class participated in that
event, Lester Koelling, Margaret Van Ness,
Julia Becherer, Margaret Markey, Howard
Laughner, Margaret Brockman, June Hefner,
Laura Leedle, Lois Booth, Alice Haville, Helen
Wiebke, Anna Conway, Louise Padou, Mar-
jorie Oakes, Marjorie Burton, James Bradford,
Ethel Schwegman, and Sherman Jones.
During the summer vacation some of the
boys of the class attended the first sum-
mer camp at Camp Custer, Michigan. John
Moore, George Scott, Hughes Updegraff,
Donald Steeg, and Howard Foltz of our class
reported a successful summer camp.
Upon our return in September, we found that
the Government had accepted our Cadet Corps
as a R. O. T. C. unit. All those who had pre-
vious military training were given a chance to
become oHicers. One of the interesting events
of this term was the Auditorium at Tomlin-
son Hall. Our school had become so large that
it was impossible to hold such a meeting at
Technical. Members of our class, prominent
in that celebration, were Raymond Beard,
Richard Call, Dee Pell, Roy Hert, Yale Ray-
mond, Arnold Schultz, George Scott, Harold
Mabee, John Moore, Katherine Gould, Hughes
Updegrafl, and Margaret lvfarkey.
During the spring term of 1920 we leaped
into state-wide prominence by Winning first
place in baseball, sectional basketball honors,
first place in inter-high golf tourney, and by
carrying ofi the banner given by the Rotary
club for the highest per cent in the Music
Memory Contest. On that basketball team
was one of our class members, Hal Griggs.
When June came, with its roses and fine weather
the first step toward Greater Tech was started,
the laying of the cornerstone of the new build-
ing. Before that ceremony the R. O. T. C.
gave a parade. As a final triumph for so succesS-
ful a semester, the pageant, showing the history
of the school from the time of the Indians,
was presented by the students of Technical.
Our class was well represented by Charles
Noble, Richard Call, George Smith, Helen
Wiebke, Arnold Schultz, Bruce Sillery, Martin
McCracken, Richard Smith, Hazel .Meier,
August Aldag, George Callahan, Dorothea
Reisner, Roy Hert, Howard White, Lois Booth,
Tom Omelvena, Harold Mabee, Karl Fischer,
The Qtsenal Qiarmon Page Twenty-one
Curryer McCandless, Leona Skaggs, and Mar-
garet Van Ness.
Soon after the pageant came the close of
school for most of the students, however,
another training camp was held at Camp Custer
Where we found Lester Koelling, Charles Noble,
Dick Watson, John Callahan, Bruce Sillery,
Hughes Updegrafi, Richard Smith, John Moore,
Tom Omelvena, Harold Mabee, Yale Ray-
mond, Clinton Wilkerson, Forrest Drake,
Edward Ford, George Scott and Sherman Jones,
When we returned to school again in the
fall, we realized that we were Seniors. Foot-
ball again visited the city after an absence of
twelve years, and left Tech, as she always is,
on the top. ln order to accept the cup ofiered
by the School Board a parade was held. The
line of march was from Technical to the Monu-
ment where Mr. Stuart received the cup.
That team included four members of our
classg Maurice Sweeney, Hal Griggs, Dick
Watson, and Paul Hodges. Another import-
ant event of the semester was the organization
of the senior class. Our first meeting for this
purpose was held on December 8, 1920. All
seniors who expected to have thirty-two cred-
its by June were eligible to attend and vote.
Samuel Ashby, president of the january class
presided at this meeting until Yale Raymond,
our president, was elected. The other ofiicers
of the class chosen at this meeting, Zenda Bert-
ram, vice-president, Hazel Meier, secretary,
Paul Hodges, sergeant-at-arms, and Hal Griggs,
treasurer. The class colors, Yale blue and
orange, the motto "Not at the top, but climb-
ing," and the fiowers, sunburst roses and lark-
spur, were selected later thru the roll rooms.
This ended the activities of the class until the
Our last semester started most auspiciously
when the Tech team again won Sectional
Basketball honors. Two members of the team
were also members of our class, Hughes
Updegraff and Hal Griggs. During the first
days of March four new officers were elected:
Gerritt Bates, Will Maker, Margaret Markey
and Clifton Hirschman, Prophets, and Karl
Fisrher, Historian. As the result of a com-
petitive contest, Frances Brown was chosen
class Song Writer and Russell Bray, class
Poet. The selection of pins, rings, pictures,
and inviraions was left to various committees.
'1 he class play, "The Royal Family," was given
at the M urat, Asril 20, 1921, with noted success.
The leading roles were taken by Yale Raymond,
Zenda Bertram, Mayme Clark and Shideler
We have traced the history of this class thru
its brief career at Technical High School, and
now that our work here is completed, the Book
of History closes. We are to leave by those
gates thru which we entered, and to go in
many directions to begin new careers. Our
history as a class is ended.
Karl Wood Fischer
last will ani: Zlliestament
In the name of the honorable members of the
most illustrious class of June 1921, this manu-
script is hereby respectfully submitted as the
last will and testament. We trust that it will
stand as a symbol of their high ideals and intel-
lect. The class as a whole does hereby bequeath
all claims to Miss Harter and Room 20 to
those dignified scholars who step forward next
term and assume our great responsibilities.
To the Juniors and Sophomores. we leave
dignity, intelligence, and wisdom with the hope
that these traits will be duly appreciated and
used to every advantage.
And to those ethereal students in the first
year, we will our A's and A-l-'s, also this one
grave warning, 'fStay away from all popular
resorts located within sight of the grounds."
As individuals we leave to our worthy suc-
cessors, as follows:-
Sherman Jones cheerfully leaves to Gowdy
Sunderland a pair of pea green spats, formerly
used to escort a certain young alumna to and
from dances, and, with the spats the fervid
hope that Gowdy will have better luck in keep-
ing them on his Number Elevens.
To Lloyd Pearson, Russell Smith wills his
collection of sorority pins, also, his saxophone
ability, and private chair in the office.
Emma Hurst wishes to exchange with Merlo
Plummer her gift of gab and all claims on
Bobby Nipper and other erstwhile Techonians.
Forrest Heckman leaves to Raymond Carr
his knowledge and skill on the drumsg also the
perfect assurance that the band will profit as a
Dorothy Anderson wills to Tirzah Johnson
a playlet, written by herself, entitled, "Fame
Overnight" or H From the Kitchen to the Foot-
lights," and a book on "Stage Careers."
To Edwin Aspinall, goes the scientific turn
of mind possessed by Herschell Goss, and a
second Edison is expected as a result.
Emma Grabhorn reluctantly leaves her dar-
ling spit curl to all expectant debutantes with
the guarantee that when used it will get results.
Paul Hodges bequeaths to Billy Blummer
his skill in cataleptic yell leading and to John
Page Twenty-two The Qrsenal Qliannnn
Conley the surplus reverence left over from the
To Walda Canfield, Niargaret Van Ness wills
her "baby stuffi' and her resulting popularity.
Hal Griggs leaves his athletic powers to
Brewer Graham, and to Morris Greenburg his
winning bashfulness as well as his claim on a
certain young lady.
On Francesf Shanenberger, Elizabeth Fox-
worthy bestows her much-used " Caesar Pony",
also her eight terms of experience in Latin.
Roy Duncan wills to Bob Drake his place in
line at Otte's Grocery and, as an added feature,
his acquaintance with "Butch" and the "cash-
Our leading lady, hfayme Clark, bequeaths
to Mary Frances Brockway a "Book on Mod-
ern Tree Climbing" and also her romantic ex-
periences and feelings.
George Smith leaves to Francis Wilson his
Tri-City Barber College hair-cut and a package
of "Mellin,s Baby Food."
To Florence Egan, Anne Borcherding wills
her ability to nurse and advises her to hire out
as a chaperon or police matron.
John Berry gives to Frank Wilson his drum
major's staff and his splendid walk so recently
Hughes Updegraph bestows his high and ex-
alted position of Lieutenant-Colonel to any one,
for military aspirations are sufficient warrant
for the job.
To Mary Susan Williams is left the great
poise and dignity of Margaret Markeyg and to
Velma Slack falls the "Vampish Waysvof
Ballard Waddy is entrusted with Morris
SWeeney's seat on the first fioor-from-the-roof
at Keith'sg also, his wonderful "milling" ability
demonstrated so cleverly at the Senior party.
Forrest Drake, Joe Meninch, and Florence
Pringle cheerfully give to all needy candidates
a liberalsupply of second-hand A's and A-I-'s.
To Edith Ambuhl, Raye Greatbatch leaves
her bashfulness and very reserved manners.
Howard White bequeaths to Nathan Pritz
his great business ability and marksmanship,
and Clifton Hirschman leaves to Merle Scott
his expostulating ability and official dignity.
Eloise Shick gracefully bestows her lightness
of foot on Mildred Martin, and to Annette
Van Sickle she leaves her classical coiffure.
Louise Duncan wills to Anne Kerr a date
book, used but not quite filled, and a bottle
of perfume labelled "Catch 'em or -".
Ted Schaefer leaves to Charles Riddle a set
of law books which are very helpful in extricat-
ing the owner from legal difficulties.
Charles Hobert leaves his place on the honor
roll to Louie Wilson for Louie is thought to have
Hazel Meier bequeaths to Miriam Garrison
her well known athletic powers and all chances
for acquiring D's.
To Jesse Adkins, Fred Mertz leaves his ability
in self-advertising, and Herbert Armstrong
leaves Charlie Baden his great faculty for mak-
ing errors in base-ball games.
To Margaret McLaughlin, Marjorie Oakes
wills her sweet disposition and her dreams of
Rextell West leaves to Howard Garnes his
Number Twelve army shoes and his Sergeant-
Major chevronsg and to Albert Screes, John
McVey leaves his fleetness of foot for future use
in all sixty-yard runs.
Neal Carter bequeaths to Byron Woods his
five years of experience as a Techonian for
Byron seems desirous to attend this institution
of learning for that length of time.
To Ethel Swift, Lois Booth leaves her park-
ing space to accommodate another Buick load
of admirers, and to Hubert Riley, John Evans
wills his great social and military ability.
I, official Will-Maker, do hereby bequeath
the pen, from which this masterpiece fiowed, to
the school in general and to everybody in par-
Lastly, the class does herewith make, const-
itute, and appoint Mr. Stuart to be executor of
its last will and testament.
In witness whereof, I have hereto subscribed
my Name and affixed the seal of the class upon
this seventh day of June, 1921.
Gerritt M. Bates.
The Royal Family.
R- ip Roaring.
O- ld? No!
Y- oung? Yes!
A- mple Music. ,
L- ovely Princess.
F- ull of Dignity.
A- ttentive Crowd.
M- ost everybody saw it.
L- ots of Talent.
Y- our school's production.
The Royal Family, June IQZI
SO often told in song and story "The Royal
Family" has grown quite hoary.
But ye magazine editor insists that we tell
it all over agaign. Of course, it was a huge
success, at least everybody says it was. Anil
really, will you ever forget-
Yale, when he roared: "Out of my way,
Zenda: "Au revoir, Louis."
Anne: "I knew it all the timef'
Paul: "When I last saw them, they were
disappearing in the treesf'
Mayme: "Only for safety-Father."
. Shideler: "You have my heart already as
George: "I quite understand-at your de-
votions in the Oratoryf'
Walter was certainly the embodiment Of
"The Story Of An Untold Love."
The three aide-de-camps were adept in
aiding the King to deplete the Royal Treasury.
And the Ladies-A veritable peach crop-eh,
We'd hate to meet the Turkish Ambassador
in the dark-wOuldn't you?
And Prince Charles-Oh! for a shingle!
The scenery was magnificent Cincluding the
And Miss Farman-well, words fail-letls
Yours, as usual,
P. S. The cake DID have pink icing-uh uh.
0 S. P. And the bunny was alive-but only
The Guard House, Today. The Royal Family
lst Aide de Camp. ..
2nd Aide de Camp. .
3rd Aide de Camp...
Duke of Berascon. . .
King Louis .......
lst Secretary ....
2nd Secretary ....
Queen Margaret ....
Queen Mother. . . . ..
lst Lady in Waiting.
2nd Lady in Waiting ..... ...
Count Varensa .....
Baron Holdensen. . .
Princess Angela ....
Father Anselm .....
Prince Charles .....
Prince Victor ....
Countess Carini ,...
lst Barber .........
2nd Barber ........
. . . . .BRUCE SILLERY
. . . . .GEORGE SMITH
. . . . .GEORGE Scorr
. . . .YALE RAYMOND
. . . . .GERRIT BATES
. . . . .JOHN EVANS
. . . .HUGH THOMSON
. . . ........ ZENDA BERTRAM
.. . . .ADDISON KING
.... ...LOUISE KLINE
Footmen JACK JONES CURRYER MCCANDLESS
' ' ' ' ' ' TOM OMELVENA. RICHARD SMITH
Lord Chamberlain ..................... SHERMAN JONES
Turkish Ambassador ................... ARTHUR HARRIS
English Ambassador, Lord Stapleton ......... ROY HERT
Lady Stapleton ........................ EMILY BIEGLER
Countess Varensa ....................... HAZEL MEIER
Belgian Ambassador .............. .... G ERALD HOUZE
Brazilian Ambassador ................,... RONALD ROSE
American Ambassador, Mr. Cobb ........ AUGUST ALDAG
Mrs. Cobb ........................... DONA MCCUMAS
Trumpeter .................... .... E DWARD GAUNIER
Trumpeter .......... . .............. '. .ROBERT SAWYER
- .L . R ER
Queerfs S t SABRA LEWIS XNNA C GA DN
ul e IVTILDRED FOXWORTHY DOROTHEA REISNER
PriI1ce's Attendant. . ................... HOWARD FOLTZ
Angelaps Suite ALICE YOUNG RAYE GREATBATCH
" NIARJORIE OARES IVIARY MCPHETRIDGE
Page Twenty-four The Qtsenal Qflannnn
MASTER LEWIS MEIER
Pages MASTER FRANCIS JONES
MASTER GEORGE BIEGLER
L MASTER THEODORE GREATBATCI-I
Rabbit .................................. By HIMSELF
i Produced under personal direction of
Business Manager .................. HOWARD L. WHITE
Advertizing Manager .......,........... GEORGE SCOTT
Property Manager ....... ......... A RNOLD SCHULTZ
Charge of Manuscript ...,. ..... M ARY MCPHETRIDGE
MARGARET VAN NESS
The June S nior Cl ass of Arsenal Technical Schools
gratefully acknowledges the co-operation of the following
departments in producing this play.
Scenery and Stage Properties designed by
and executed under the direction of
ELIZABETH M. JASPER VINNORMA SHAW
SARA F. BARD TONE HIRSCH
RUTH C. STEBBINS MRS. IRVING ALLEN
Furniture and Carpentry bv JACOB JONES, IVAN H.
G RIGSBY, DALE GRIFFIN.
Ere long the class of '21
Will reach a greater height,
For weire "Not at the top-but climbing,"
Climbing as out of darkness into light.
And if the rugged road of life doth wind
The mountain side, where heavy clouds
We pause not, nor turn for backward glance,
But onward press, improving our every
The prize is not for him who falters by the
And each succeeding forward step
Brings nearer that glad day
When every burden o'ercome and every
We stand upon the pinacle,
Master of our own.
The peaks of only highest mountains rise
Above the clouds to bluest skies,
So we, to win ambition's goal, so dimly seen
Must onward climb o'er the long and un-
Not At The Top, But Climbing
Not at the top, but climbing
To ideals, that beckon afar
As gleaming bright and twinkling
As an unattainable star.
They give a glimpse, a mirage,
Of an Eldorado fair:
But as I climb, they also climb,
Higher and higher in the air.
But scattered along the pathway
Are milestones, rough and gray,
That show where my ideals rested
In some forgotten day.
For it seems when I was younger
My thoughts were not so high
And hadl not grown older
These places would satisfy.
But ever onward and upward,
My footsteps, now rapid, now slow,
Not at the top, but climbing
Toward Eldorado, they go.
The Tech Senior '21 Class must be handed
a hearty congratulation from every one who
witnessed "The Royal Family." The play
besides being spectacular throughout was a
play which professional'actOrs could not have
performed better. The wonderful costumes,
along with the beautiful scenery were most
pleasing to the ever watching eyes of the
audience. Miss Mayme Clark has surely won,
at Tech and throughout the city, a name as
a clever actress. Paul Hodges acted
on the stage as if it were his home for life.
Paul's actions on the school campus would not
suggest that he was a Cardinal, but Paul on
the stage is not the Paul of the Tech campus.
There is a part of you that is distinctly sc-
parate from all other influences, and from
everybody else-it is independence.
It is not that false pride which chills the at-
mosphere and creates antagonism in others, but
it is the consciousness of what you are-what
you can do alone.
It is the touch you add to your experience
that stamps your achievements as your own.
No man does anything that is worth while
unless he appreciates himself.
The independent man stands out, dominates
his task and makes himself and his work
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Page Twenty-six gibe Qrsenal Qlatmun
The Nature Study Club
Talk about your various and sundry clubs!
Not one of them can beat the Nature Study
Club of the Arsenal Technical Schools. Its
purpose is a noble one, that of furthering ap-
preciation and knowledge of the wonders and
beauties of nature, everywhere. And, the
club has done and is doing, a great deal toward
The club has held meetings every Wednesday
at three o'clock in Room 60. Before the
meetings, all who have been free and have
wished to do so have hiked with Mr. Cox and
his field glasses, his inseparable companion, over
the campus, identifying trees, flowers, and birds.
Then at the meetings reports of these and other
birds and flowers have been made and discussed.
There isa regular constitution, executive com-
mittee and everything else that makes up a per-
fect organization, even including a program
committee, which arranges a program every
week, and outside social affairs. Looked at from
every corner and direction, it's surely a good
club, and we're sure it has the hearty co-opera-
tion of every student and teacher at Tech.
The Boys' Glee Club
Morrison Davis, President
Dudley Kemper, Secretary and Treasurer.
Myron Hopper, Librarian
The Boys' Glee Club has been working on
four-part choruses for male voices. The songs
have been committed to memory so when the
boys are called upon to sing they don't have as
an excuse that old chestnut, "I haven't got my
While they have not appeared in public,
nevertheless they have been doing consis-
Probably the best songs in their repertoire
are: "The Lumberman's Camp Song" by
Targettg 'fCarry Me Back to old Virginia," by
Blandg "United States My Glorious Land," by
Targett, "The Mosquito," a comic encore by
The membership is made up of the follow-
First Tenors: Russel Smith, James Peb-
worth, Second Tenors: Ed. Goumer, Myron
Hopper, Glenn Spinney, Martin Mc Crackeng
Baritonesi Morrison Davis, Irwin Egan, Clifton
Hirshman, Russel Hirshman, Ferdinand Meh-
rlich, Adrian Pierce.
Bass: Caroll Bonnell, Dudley Kemper, Gaudy
Miss Louise Spillman is the club accompanist.
Last March our enterprising salesmanship
classes made an offer to the Tech student body
as a whole. They, in their capacity of sales-
men, asked the rest of the student body to pur-
chase an idea-which, if purchased, would be
a tremendous asset to the school. That which
they offered was just courtesy-just plain,
common politeness, which is the outward mani-
festation of a generous and thoughtful spirit.
'fHave you good feeling? Are you consider-
ate of others? lf you do have this spirit
of consideration you are helping to promote
happiness in our school and in the world,"
"What is the price?" the students asked.
Forgetting of self, we learned. The divi-
dends are respect, success, friendship, and es-
The Drive ended March 25, but its spirit has
remained. The spirit of Tech has been lifted
and bettered more than we can immediately
Adapted from Office Bulletin
The Faculty Medals
Tech's faculty, this last year, has taken an
action quite worthy of Tech. After discussions
at various faculty meetings they raised nearly
two hundred dollars among them. This money
has been invested in a first mortgage at 692,
and with the interest which accrues-approxi-
mately ten dollars a year-the faculty proposes
to buy two medals. These medals will be
presented each June to the boy and girl from
the entire January and June classes combined,
making the best scholarship record, that is,
with the highest number of honor points result-
ing from the term end grades received dur-
ing their high school career.
These medals are the honors awarded to the
best scholars just as the Dyer medal is award-
ed to the best all around student participating
in athletics and the block T's to Tech's finest
The Betrothal Festival
During each school year Techonians are giv-
en the privilege of witnessing exceptional dem-
onstrations of the ability of the gym classes.
On January the thirteenth, at the Woodruff
Club, Miss Abbett staged a most effective
fantasy, The Betrothai Festival. '
From the stage settings and costumes to the
dancers, everything was in perfect keeping
and highly commendable. The only regret is
that the entire school did not have the oppor-
tunity to see it.
The QtB'2IIEll 081111011 Page Twenty-seven
Girls' Glee Club
The Girls, Glee Club has represented our
school on three different occasions this last
term. They sang for the Hoover Relief Fund
at Roberts Park M. E. Church, and at Short-
ridge High School at the Band Concert given
by the three high schools.
They also gave "Rapture of Spring", a can-
tata, at a twilight program given on our own
out door stage.
This organization has Worked earnestly and
has displayed unusual loyalty and enthusiasm
as me mbers of this club.
A uniform dress-a white middy and skirt,
white shoes and black middy ties-to be worn
at all public performances, was adopted.
Miss Kaltz, their energetic director, states
that she has enjoyed this organization very
much this last semester.
The oflicers of the Girls' Glee Club are:
President, Mayme Clark, Vice President, june
HefnergSecretary, Frances BrockwaygTreasurer,
Emma Hurst, Sergeant-at-Arms, Louise Dun-
can, Librarian, Irene Olsen, Accompanist,
The Campus Choir
Several new organizations, such as the Opera
Club, the Drum Corps, and the Choral Club,
have appeared in the music department this
year, but it was left to the Campus Choir to
form an organization that is different.
The membership has been obtained entirely
from the Opera Club and the object has been
to keep the members of the latter together, and
to do special work along choral lines. The
music they sing is in strictly choral style and
consists of excerpts from non-opera choruses
and selections from standard operas which the
choir sings and acts out Without scenery and
The Campus Choir has a versatile member-
ship, containing vocal soloists, a pianist, a
mixed quartette, a double mixed quartette,
and some performers on stringed instruments.
In fact it is ready to give a complete evening's
entertainment. It appears at Commencement
this spring. While it has not appeared in pub-
lic many times its members have obtained a
great deal of enjoyment from the new venture.
The Betrothal Festival
Page Twenty-eight 015132 Zlrsenal Qfannnn
During the past semester the band at Tech
has progressed rapidly. Most high school bands
are shy on bass and baritone, because boys buy a
clarinet or cornet, but the bass section was
unusually good this year, The School Board
supported the band very Well, and its purch-
ase of a number of instruments insured a
better balanced instrumentation.
The band organized and practiced in such
a way that it was able to play on parade or
at concert any moment. Its work at the
games was heartily appreciated by the rooters.
The band next year will continue its program
of playing in public and it will welcome many
new members. Those who desire to be in this
organization should mention it on their study
slips so that the office can arrange their sche-
january Senior News
During the past semester the january 722
class carried on a scholarship contest between
the three roll rooms, 65A, 6513, and 65C to
boost the scholarship standard. The contest
was based on the average number of honor
points in each roll room, all the contestants
wore a badge designating their respective roll
rooms, 65A's being designed by Russel Stewart,
65B's by Helen Ludemann and 65C's by George
Patong The three little air-planes-the work-
manship of Russel Stewart- hanging on their
wires in 65 marked the progress of the campaign
in which everyone was interested and in which
competition was unusually keen.
The Opera Club
Mr. Percival has received so many inquiries
about joining the Opera Club, that he Wishes
to take this means of informing all who are
There will be a try-out for membership, one
day only, some day of the first week next
September. All who are interested should
watch the bulletin for a more definite announce-
ment, as it is quite likely that the membership
will be filled at the first try-out.
The opera to be given will be the "Princess
Bonnie," or "The Maid and the Middyf' It
will be given in the Murat Theater the first
week in December, with special scenery and
costumes, and accompanied by selected mem-
bers of the orchestra. As the Opera Club is
now an established organization, we may look
for a brilliant performance.
Twenty-two boys, twenty-one of them novi-
ces, enrolled at the beginning of the semester,
in the Tech Drum Corps. 'lhey began to re-
hearse immediately, under Mr. Percival, at the
sixth period, Mondays and Fridays.
During the term they have learned to beat
the drum and toot the bugle, and have com-
mitted to memory two marches, "Paris," and
While their repertoire is not so very large,
at the same time they have advanced enough
in the work to be able to appear on parade. It
is guaranteed that they can make as much
noise as any drum corps of the same size.
The members not only appear in a body,
but play in the different periods to assist the
cadets to march-
The Drum Corps is a useful organization be-
cause its music is military, and lills a long felt
want in military maneuvers.
The Tech Cglartette
That burst of harmony in the second act
of the Senior play was accomplished by the
Tech quartette composed of Parker Burns,
Kenneth Thorne, Arnold Schultz, and Yale
Raymond. These boys,under the capable leader-
ship of Miss Kaltz have done much to elevate
Tech on the musical side. The quartette was
organized in September and sang a number of
selections during auditorium and especially in
" Pinaforef' This semester they have devoted a
great deal of their time to singing in outside
localities. Recently the quartette went to Acton,
Indiana, to sing for the high school play, and
left a gooi impression of Tech talent. We
wish them hearty prospects for the future.
The Vocal Culture Class
Many of the larger high schools of the country
have added and are organizing classes in voice
culture. The purpose is to develop talent along
special lines in voice work. It is an aid in
doing this just as the glee club is an aid in
Mr. Percival has started one here at Tech,
and it would be wise for all pupils who are in-
terested to bear it in mind when they fill out
their study slips. It is a half credit subject.
At the national convention of music supervis-
ors, held in Saint joseph, Missouri, last April,
the subject of voice culture was given quite a
little attention and Tech was recognized as one
of the larger schools having this in the curri-
The Drum Corps
The Noted Band
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Specimens of Vocational Work
Page Thirty The Qtsenal Qliannun
The orchestra has just finished one of its
most successful semesters. It is a self-govern-
ing organization using Roberts, Rules of Order
for its guide. The director has the power of
ratification and veto. The officers elected were
Carroll Bonnell, president, Anna Boles, vice-
president, Gertrude Free, secretary, John
Berry, sergeant-at-arms, lVIildred Goens, libra-
rian. The Woodruff Club was made the head-
quarters for all rehearsals all this semester.
Business meetings were held every Thursday.
At one of the meetings an interesting bit of
legislation was enacted. It consisted of the
adoption of a pin, the design of which affords
space for the indication of the number of
semesters a student has been a member. An
inexpensive pearl is inserted for each semester
of his membership. Carroll Bonnell, a post-
graduate, is entitled to the most pearls, since
he has been a member ever since he was a
The members of the orchestra are among
Techis most loyal students. They are very de-
pendable. Not one member has failed to at-
tend a public performance given by the orches-
tra. Such loyalty and fine school spirit cannot
be surpassed. Think of the comfort and joy
such a dependable group must be to its director.
This year all the music at the Class Play, the
Arbor Day exercises, and Class Day exercises
was furnished by the orchestra. A splash of
ceremony was added to commencement by the
appropriate overture and the stately pro-
cessional march which the orchestra contributed
What Other Papers Say About Us
"The Chronicle" Niagara Falls High School.
You have some fine jokes.
The "Rileyon,' Greenfield, Ind.
"When: Tournament" shows a lot of origin-
ality and pep: Who is the clever "Dink?"
"The D. H. S. Exponentu: Orleans, Ind.
Your paper is one of the most interesting
on our list. We like your jokes and sport
page exceptionally well.
"The Centraliann Central High School,
Still up to the mark. Your paper puts out
some good work.
"The T. H. S." Joliet, Illinois.
You did some fine picking when you picked
that staff, they are unusually clever and origi-
Here's a good one: "The Arsenal Cannon is
surely a "booming" enterprise. Your ads an-
nouncing a Weekly paper were exceptionally
good. You are to be congratulated on having
such a peppy paper.
Good morning, Brother Gladness,
Good morning, Sister Smile,
They told me you were coming
So Iwaited on a While.
I'm lonesome here without you,
A weary While it's been,
Nly heart is standing open,
Captain Kidd jr. Jan. ,2I
g The Qrsenalfannnn Page Thirty-one
R. O. T. C.-Winners of the City Rifle Con-
test, score 1708, 1921.
Tech and Shortridge-Swimming Cup, Camp
Howard White-City Champion Gallery
The first place- Gallery Competition of Junior
R. O. T. C. Fifth Area.
Howard VVhite- best Gallery shot in Comp-
T. H. S.-Board of Park Commissioners
tro hy, 1920
Edward Gallahue-1st place in Golf tourna-
Robert Averitt-Runner-up in Golf Tourna-
T. H. S.-City Championship and winners
of School Board cup, 1920.
Sectional championship-All State team
Roger'Hay-Dyer medal for athletic sports-
manship and general standing in school, 1920,
Pauline Parks-Remington Typewriter Com-
pany, gold medal.
Frances Thrum and Marjorie Custer-2nd.
highest award, 1921.
Latin Contest Honors.
Frazier Potts- 3rd place, Bi-State Latin
Contest, Louisville, 1920.
The Wireless Club
I was out "nosing" for news when 1 noticed
the wireless aerial over the electrical shop. I
got an idea right off. I'd just find out some-
thing about this Wireless Club 1'd heard about.
I went up the fire escape and into a room filled
with a group of busy boys. 1 was politely
directed to Mr. Marcus.
"Can you give me a little news about the
Wireless Club, Mr. Marcus F" 1 inquired.
"1 can tell you all about it in four letters,"
he said, "D-e-a-d."
Of course 1 was surprised, but he went on
to explain how it happened. The club could not
meet until after the school schedule ended, then
the night school interfered with the activities.
Boys who would like to have joined the club
oftentimes had schedules which ended several
periods earlier than the time for meeting and
of course, they did not care to wait over so
Mr. Marcus added that although the boys
in the course were very interested in wireless
it could not be given them in the school. He
favors the idea that students have wireless
stations at their own homes but as a school
activity a Wireless Club is highly undesirable.
Of all the achievements of the various grad-
uating classes at Tech, one which will probably
be longest remembered is that of the June '21
class in the form of resolutions.
Feeling the need of an organized movement
to promote and to better the general welfare
of Tech, and realizing that it was up to the
Seniors to set the pace, a committee was ap-
pointed for the purpose of drawing up some
resolutions that would show to the school the
attitude of the Seniors.
The resolutions adopted proved to be of
such quality, and so representative of the senti-
ments entertained by the whole school, that
they were accepted by the entire student body.
These will undoubtedly continue to be repre-
sentative of the student body and will prove
to be a living monument to the June '21 class.
Aim: C11 To promote the interests, ideals, and
general welfare of Tech.
Q21 To establish standards of conduct
that will benefit us as students.
Resolved, that we the members of the June
graduating class of 1921 will abide by and pro-
mote the following:
C11 We will not cause disturbances around
rooms where classes are in session.
C21 We will conduct ourselves as gentlemen in
the lunchroom, halls, stairways, and on
C31 We will attend all assigned classes, unless
C41 We will not deface the buildings, or litter
up the campus with waste paper.
C51 We will conduct ourselves as gentlemen at
all athletic meets, whether we win or lose.
Q61 We will do our part in preserving order in
the classrooms and also in keeping them
Q71 We will remain on the campus until our
schedule is over and will try to influence
others to do the same.
Q81 We will strive at all times and in all places,
as students of Tech, to be courteous.
Q91 We will preserve the beauty of our campus
by using the walks and roadways and
keeping off the grass. L
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Editor-in-Chief .................... Arthur L. Harrisr g
Magazine Business Manager ...... . . . . Karl VV. Fische
Athletics Editors .... Bruce Sillery, Harold Van Bussum.
R. O. T. C. Editors. .Clarence Cochran, Sherman Jones.
Business Manager ........................ Alvin Ligh
Zenda Bertram. Thomas Omelvena.
Anna C. Gardner. Donald Iohn.
Louis Fults. Marybelle Baker.
Warren Fawcett. Hazel Meier.
Emma Hurst. Mabel Gorman.
Mary Black. Frances Brown.
Grace Koehne. Mary Mc Means.
Merle Miller. Leonard Pearson.
Sherwood Blue. Margaret Markey.
Mildred Tuttle. Hilda Smith.
Associate Members ........ ........ N ews English Class.
Art. ........ .......... M r. Frederick E. Polley,
Editorials .... ......... M iss Ella Sengenberger
Business ...................... Mr. Edward E. Greene,
Well Done, June'21.
The time comes twice each year when Tech
must bid Au Revoir to a departing class. June,
the time for this parting, has come once more.
Thus it is that Tech bids farewell to the grad-
uating class of June'21.
These students are probably the last to grad-
uate from Tech, who will have been familiar
with Old Tech as it now stands. The days of
classes in basement, hall and Woodruff Club
are passing, indeed, they have passed, for the
next school term will see many changes. Not
only the Arsenal, the House, the Barn, the
Barracks, Annex, Electrical Building and Shops
will constitute Tech, but new buildings and
ne .v names will appear.
The June'21 class, in a Way, is the last repre-
sentative of the Tech with which they have
become familiar, and no class could be a better
representative. The members have been pro-
gressive and have exhibited loyalty to their
class and to Tech, on all occasions. As each
member passes from the Arsenal grounds, may
he be secure in the conviction that Tech bids
him farewell with the valued praise, "Well
Just when we are beginning to think we can
make both ends meet, some guy comes along
and moves the ends.
Don'tiyou hate to be late? I do.
That sheepish, sinking feeling that comes over
you just as you hit the door! You walk in
nonchalantly, vastly unconcerned apparently,
but all the time, inside you are feeling like a
little old last year's two- cent piece.
I know a man who is never a half minute
late. He says he would rather be late a half
hour, because half hour lateness looks as if
there was an honest to goodness reason, but half
a minute has no alibi whatsoever. It just
screeches to the world that he got up late and
dashed madly and just escaped making it. And
as he can't afford to be half an hour late, he
makes it a point to get in on time. Let's all do
We Thank You
The Staff wishes to thank all contributors
who have helped to make this Semester's CAN-
NON the best ever. It is impossible to enu-
merate each one, although we appreciate each
article, but there are a few who deserve spe-
cial mention. Charles Shugart has been an es-
pecially loyal helper in the business department.
Not only did he get the subscriptions from every
member of the faculty, but every CANNON Day
he has been right on the job ready to issue the
copies. Carl Brecht has handed in number-
less jokes and witty stories. Members of the
music and commercial departments have sent
in some very peppy articles.
A Nose for News
Have you read the snappy personals this se-
mester? Haven't they been good? At last
the CANNON has been able to give its readers
that for which there has been a loud demand-
personals. And it is the News English Class
whom you must thank for this. Following
is a list of these energetic news hunters:
Theodore Bedell, Robert Endsley, John Gray,
David Haley, Kenneth Hoagland, Louis Jack-
son, Carlos Jefrey, Marie Manner, Arrhur
Meehan, Herman Olson, and Harvey Petty.
Don,t take things as theY come, head 'em off.
HI. F. Wild's PolicY"
- on or - - .
Page T hirty-six Tlllbe Qtsenal Qilanmm
One of the greatest assets to a community
is spirit. A person who is alert and active in
the interest of his community soon rises to the
front. VVe call him public-spirited. To point
out these few interesting personages whom
the community looks upon as public-spirited
might give rise to the question, if none but
these have the interest of the community at
heart, is it through their efforts alone that
things are done for the public good? No, it is
not. Not by any means. One man may give
the community a library, another give a
site for a park,and still another may give some-
thing else. Everyone of these men is public-
spirited, and each deserves credit for the good
that he has done. But every member of the
community cannot donate a library or a park,
if he could, what would we do with all of them?
However, there is a service as anyone of these
mentioned and that is just plain loyalty. Look
around in Indianapolis. Which parts of the city
have the greatest interest in elections? It will be
plainly evident that the heaviest registration
and the heaviest vote are recorded in the better
residence districts, not in the less desirable parts
of the city. The men who say,"I don't care who
is elected. What does it matter to me whether
he is a Republican or Democrat?" are not
usually to be found among those who are suc-
cessful in business, who are respected among
their acquaintances. The man who doesn't
take advantage of his privilege to vote, to
express his sentiment, is not a good citizen.
I don't care if a man is a socialist, if he goes to
the polls on election day, he is better than the
man who doesn't go at all.
Now it is the same with a school, we cannot
all be athletes, we canlt all play basket-ball,
or base-ball or football, but we can, every one
of us, be rooters-boosters for Tech. Tech is a
community-no longer a little one but a big
one, the biggest of its kind. But how can Tech
be the Best of its kind if the students are not
out for Tech and Tech alone- if its student
body is not loyal?
Keep this in mind, if you want Tech to be
the leader in athletics, boost for the teams.
If you want her to show the best spirit, be loyal,
and loyalty includes courtesy. Say a good word
for Tech wherever you go. lf you can't
think of something good to say, don't say any-
thing at all. George Strassler
The Freshies donit know they don't know,
The Sophomores know they donit know,
The Juniors don't know that they know,
But the Seniors-they know that they know.
The Melting Pot
The United States is often called the melting
pot, and this same expression is usually a very
good characterization of the average graduating
class. In the ordinary high school graduating
class there are about as many different types
as there are different people.
You know the various kinds. There are the
studious ones, the gay ones, the sober ones, the
frivolous ones, the active ones, the indifferent
ones, the dreamy ones, the practical ones-as
many different characters as there are descrip-
tive adjectives in the English language. And
yet in one respect they are all alike-they are
all eager to cast in their lot in the Qreat game
of life. They are young and inexpzrianced, but
they possess that which outweighs the experi-
ence of the worldly-wise-the unconquerable
hope of youth. i D
Just as the motley hordes of immigrants who
enter the huge melting pat of the United States
come out, all with the same stamp-the badge of
Americanism-so do the members of the gradu-
ating class emerge from the melting-pot of a
large high-school, bearing the same imprint-
the badge of better ideals, of unsefishness, in-
dustriousness, and service.
Technical High School grim and grand
The one and only in the land
From San Francisco to New York State
Tech, our Tech, you have no mate.
There's none with such historic walls
From Tampa to Niagara Falls.
And students too, no band so loyal
Whose blood would not within him boil
When some one mentioned "Dear old Tech"
Tech, our Tech, there's none so grand
And none to equal our own home band,
This is the truth and is no ditty
Right here at Tech we have our city,
We have a traffic cop and home guard too,
We always keep them the winter through.
Oh yes, I nearly forgot the important thing
hir. Stuart is the Mayor and our King.
If I knew that the light of a smile
Might linger the whole day through,
And lighten some heart,
With a heavier part,
I wouldn't withhold it,
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The promising young collegian, lNIr. Lloyd
Harrison, in town for the purpose of attending
a convention, knew a pretty young girl, Lois
Kern. That accounted for the fact that Lloyd
was trudging along in the rain-Lloyd hated
rain-three blocks from the Devon Flats. He
carried a huge umbrella from which streams of
Water poured incessantly upon his new ten
cent shine, entirely spoiling the effect of that
He had taken exactly one thousand two
hundred forty seven steps, since he had nearly
fallen off the street car- he had counted them,
since there was nothing else to do. Together
with five skids and a narrow escape from the
clutches of a wild and woolly automobile, he
had lost seven-tenths of his temper. His neat
black, business-like suit was quite sadly be-
draggled when he finally reached the Devon
Flats and rang the bell. He was wondering if
Lois was at home, when his eye fell upon the
name card on the door which read:
MR. J. M. BROWN
It was the wrong door! What was he to do?
Someone was coming. The door was opened
by a dignified little lady.
"Is lXfIr. Thompson here?" he asked pleas-
antly. It was his only way out.
"Oh yes, come right in, we thought you were
never coming. just take a chair. Ifll send Mr.
Brown in. Mr. Thompson isn't quite ready
yet. My, we do hate to have him leave us, he's
just the dearest fellow!" And she hurried out of
"Well, this is a jolly situation, to be sure!"
thought the bewildered Mr. Harrison. "Now
who do you suppose this fellow Thompson is
anyway? W'hewl Well, I guess I'm in for it
now!" Further soliloquy was impossible for Mr.
Brown had entered. His silver hair showed
that he was well on in years, and his broad,
friendly smile and "Howdy, Mr. Page," ren-
dered Harrison's curiosity almost unbearable.
"And where is the young lady-your-a
wife-I take it?"
Harrison's brain worked fast. Now where
was his wife anyway? What was he to say?
He was determined to see this thing through
"She was complaining of a cold so we con-
cluded it would be better for her to stay at
home." What else was there to say?
Brown looked sharply at him, but let the
"Yes, I see. She seemed greatly interested
in IXfIr. Thompson. The dear fellow has just
finished his bath and is sprucing up a bit before
making his appearance. He will be ready in
a few moments. By the way, lVIr. Page, Mr.
Thompsonas license and taxes are paid up in
full." Lloyd shook inwardly. 4'And my wife
wanted me to tell you about his meals. He's
very particular about his food. Prefers broiled
meat to fried. About once a week he likes a
little bit of raw beef-never eats pork. He's
a regularjew in that respect. He doesn't care
much for bread, unless it's an occasional hot
biscuit. He loves gravy and potatoes. He's
a thorough prohibitionist-drinks nothing but
milk and water! Hal Hal" Mr. Brown seemed
to think this a very good joke so, to keep peace
Harrison laughed, too. just then Mrs. Brown
entered with a small, white toy poodle in her
"VVell, well, I expect you thought Mr.
Thompson would never be ready," she ex-
claimed, "but here he is at last."
Lloyd looked around but saw no one in
trousers except Brown.
"Mr. Thompson is rather an odd name for
a doggie, isnft it?" she went on caressing the
woolly object in her arms. So that was it.
But what was he going to do with a poodle?
If it had been a bull-dog or a hound, he would
have bought it and escaped from all this beastly
But Mrs. Brown was still talking.
"I just gave him a bath and put a fresh bow
on his collar so's he'd look pretty for his trip on
the train with his new master and mistress. I
do hope you and the lady will love the little
chap as much as we do. Why, don't you know,
once-there, the door bell is ringing. I won-
der who it could be."
She opened the door and a very flushed, out
of breath and dripping wet figure stood upon
Page Thirty-eight The Qtsenal Qtannrm
the mat. He was dark-eyed and handsome.
"Is Mr. Thompson ready, Mrs. Brown?
Dolly is waiting for me now, and I am afraid I
shall miss the train. Here," he handed her
several bills, "Isn't that right? Here Tommy,
nice Tommy, come to Mr. Page. He won't
hurt Dolly's little doggie. VVell, good-bye Mrs.
Brown. Dolly will take good care of Mr.
Thompson." And taking the white poodle from
Mrs. Brown, he disappeared down the hall into
"Well, what the-" ejaculated Brown.
'cSame here," said Lloyd. "I'm looking for
the Kerns, not poodlesf'
'cOur ad distinctly said poodles. The Kerns
live next door."
"I see,,' drawled Lloyd. "I should have
known to find the Kerns, one should call next
door." Frances Miller.
The Guard House
Oh thou, where the mud is deepest,
Where the rumbling thunder of street cars
Disturbs the quiet peace UQ ofa school-room,
Where the colorature laughter grates and
Echoes resound thru and thru thy
Dark and desolate rooms, where ardent
Students day by day strive onward to
Their numerous tasks and look forward
To the final letter which marks their
Cold, gloomy future.
Oh thou, Where necks are strained and
Eyes all but turn in their sockets to
See the mysterious, white questions, which
Written on thy black wall by some
Well-known hand. Where the wild
And clammy rains beat upon thy
Panes or ghostly winds howl 'round
Thee at the immortal hour.
Thou, oh thou, where e'en with all thy
Unconquerable faults, thou holdest yet
A charm for all that has been praised
Or rejected within thy walls. E'en with
Thy oven-like stove that sitteth, surrounded
By such as we, and scorcheth the fair frocks
Of the Sweet, or the charming incense of
Burning rubber of the shoes of the Brave
Is thrown upon the stale atmosphere,
Thou, oh Guard House, with an historic
Past, Thou, we love and from thee cannot
So all ye mortals, lift your feeble voices
In praise of thee, thou Immortal Unchanged
Thru all our ages, Arsenal Technical Guard-
Dorothy Anne Allen, English I.
Romeo and julyet
The large, fat old darky woman pushed open
the cabin door and entered with a large clothes
basket full of fresh clothes which had just been
taken off the line.
" Cleopatra, Oh, Cleo!" came a call.
"Yessum!" and hastily depositing the heavy
basket on the cabin floor, mammy hurried out
in answer to the summons.
just then the unexpected happened. The
clothes basket which had been covered with a
sheet, slowly turned over, the sheet was pushed
off and two coal-black, kinky-haired pickan-
innies slowly sat up and surveyed each other.
Reader, allow me to introduce "Romeo"
and "julyet," two pickaninny twins as like
as two peas, with twinkling black eyes, as dif-
ferent from the dozens of other pickaninnies as
could beg even to their names of which ole'
mammy was justly proud. Mammy's black
cherubs did not have the common everyday
names such as Dinah and Cornwallis, if you
Ole' mammy's wicked little pickaninnies were
firmly believed to be in league with old Nick
himself. Everything that happened on the
great plantation was traced directly to these
tiny darkies, but old mammy loved them. Not
another negro child on the plantation could
sing or dance or mimic as these two. The mas-
ter could have made mints of money having
them perform in public, but he was a kind-
hearted man and would not take the little black
children away from ole' mammy.
Cleopatra hurried across to her master's
house and he told her to bring the children over
to sing for a man who was at the plantation
that day, trading slaves.
She hastened back and was met by a tragic
scene. Romeo and julyet were having a frolic
among the clothes which were far from clean
now. Hastily she gathered the clothes into
the basket with one hand while she held the
squirming little blacks with the other. She
washed their faces until they shone. Then
they were sent scampering across the lawn to
sing for ole' marse.
"I say, Harris, let me buy those two kids!"
exclaimed Marshall, the trader, half an hour
later when he had witnessed their performance.
"Name your pricef,
"Couldn't think of it Marshall, I would as
lief sell ole' mammy herself. No, I couldn't
possibly think of selling them," said the master.
It was later in the day. The trader had gone
to his room and was slowly pacing back and
forth. "Stubborn as a mule,', he muttered to
The Qrsenal Gannon Page Thirty-n ine
himself. '4Wonder why he won't sell those
lkids. They would bring money down at Or-
eans. Won't sell, eh? I wonder what he would
say if they disappeared some dark night. Well!
I'm not above it."
He did not hear the rose trellis at the window
rustle. How did he know that same thick
creeper contained plenty of elbow room for
two squirming pickaninnies?
"Do you s'pose he would steal us from
Marse F" Julyet asked Romeo.
"He ain't a gonner git this niggah," whisper-
ed Romeo, and then the two slid down the
trellis right down into ole' Marse's very arms.
He held them both and asked sternly what
they had been doing. Then they told him what
they had heard. He listened quietly and then
told them not to tell anybody, not even mammy
what they had told him. Setting them free,
they scampered off.
The sun sank and the twilight deepened-
Ole' mammy had gone to meetin' and the twins
stretched themselves in the doorway enjoying
the cool breeze that swept over the
plantation. Finally they went to
sleep. Stealthy steps aroused Romeo. His
first thought was that it was the man he had
heard plotting, come to steal them. He decided
to keep quiet and wait. julyet slept on.
Before he could cry out, hands covered his
mouth and he was borne away in somebody's
arms. His captor conversed in low tones to
another man who followed with julyet. He
made for the grove of trees where two horses
awaited. just as he reached it a stern voice
cried out, "Halt!,' It was the Marse and
several other plantation men, all armed. The
children were taken back to their cabin While
the master stayed to deal with the would-be
It was found that Marshall had obtained the
aid of a half-wit colored boy who worked on the
plantation, by means of a bribe. The master
could not have one of his own guests arrested
for he was too much of a gentleman, but he
gave lyfarshall a horse and twenty-four hours
to leave the country.
Well, all's well that ends well, and Romeo
and Julyet had saved the day as well as them-
selves just by a climb up that rose trellis.
I hold it true that thoughts are things
Endowed with bodies, breath and wings,
And that we send them forth to fill
The world with good results or ill.
A Basket-ball Hero
He was a senior in a small Southern Indiana
High School and was playing the game of his
life in the finals of the State Basket-ball Tour-
nament. His team was the dark horse of the
tourney. It had fought its way inch by inch to
the final game. It was still fighting, but under
the handicap of a large score piled up by the
larger town team. They were fighting, yes
fighting, but what was the matter! They just
couldn't get the ball and keep it long enough to
work it down the floor.
Toward the close of the first half he could
see they were gaining, he could feel the on-
slaught ofthe opposing team weakening. Then,
as the ball was thrown up at center after a
basket had been made against them, he ran in
and received the tip-off-then down the floor-
through the floor guard, under the back guard-
and then he did what he had intended to do-
he scored! he had started their scoring! Then
the gun sounded. The half was over.
Encouraged, his team came back on the floor
at the close of the rest period, a new team. He
could hear, as if they were far away, the cheers
of the large crowd. Slowly, basket after bas-
ket, they climbed to within three points of their
opponents, score. The other team was weaken-
ing but his team was still fresh. A foul goal
and they were only two points behind. Both
teams tightened. Down the fioor, up the fioor,
for fully five minutes the ball was worked back
and forth. Could neither team score! and then
another foul, and they were one point behind.
Then, receiving the ball, he started down,
determined to reach the basket, only to be stop-
ped by the opposing fioor guard. What must he
do! He knew the time was about up and they
were only one point behind. He received the
ball under the opposite basket-and then down
the fioor-he knew this was his last chance. He
could see the basket coming clo ,zer and closer, he
could also see the big back guard planted firmly
in front of it watching him like an eagle, ready
to pounce upon him. He knew he would not
get through him. What could he do?
Suddenly a determination appeared in his
mind-he would jump over him and shoot!
Closer, closer-and then the leap and the shot-
he could feel the quick spring of the surprised
backguard as he rose from his stooped pose as
he hurled headlong into the basket stanchions.
As in a trance he could see the teams stop their
advance down the floor. It had gone in! And
then the gun. The gun! Faintly, very faintly,
amidst the far-off cheers of the crowd, he could
feel himself being borne off the floor by his
teammates. Clarence Cochran.
Page Forty Zllibe Qrsenal Qllannnn
A Little Journey
We thought weld go to Lebanon
The Chunk, the Chappie and Ig
To avoid the rush, we took the train
And that's the reason why,
We got there in the afternoon
Of that chill and windy day.
We chronic tardies were much too soon-
Four hours-to fritter away.
We walked around the Public Square
And saw the County Jail,
The County Courthouse stands there, too,
Also, a hitching rail.
We next went to a movie show
The Filum there was awful-
In "Mary's Little Lobster"
The "Sand Witches" weren't lawful.
There was a "VVild West" thriller, too,
And "Mutt and Jeffl' had fits.
The music was thrown in beside,
For the large sum of two bits.
We pulled our freight to a hotel
Clt won the barbed-wire chokerj
And there in comfort spent some time
In brushing up our poker.
But soon a craving filled our souls,
Mere cards could never satisfy,
So we fared forth in search of food
Hunger raging in every eye.
This small hotel did not serve meals-
They all went out to eat.
The clerk directed us to a house A
A few blocks up the street.
We sat down at the table.
QThe cloth was fairly cleanl
The guests were several section hands
And a farmer, lank and lean.
Beneath fifty-seven varieties
Loud groaned the festive board,
The bread was in enormous hunks
To feed the hungry horde.
It beat a restaurant meal all hollow
Kicked a cafe meal sky-high.
What we couldn't chew we had to swallow
Began with beans and closed with pie.
A country meal has oft' been lauded
We'll leave that to the bards-
Enough to say we empty went
Back to our game of cards!
And so the dreadful hours rolled
At last! we saw the game:
lt took the cake from end to start
And added to our fame.
The boys were all in form that night,
But for pep and speed why say
You should have seen them comin' home-
I thot l'd pass away.
VVell, we got back to town all right
No band there, tho, to greet us.
We thot at least thereld be a hack
Or something there to meet us.
But when I look back on that day,
As I know I often will
Of all that chanced along the way
That meal will haunt me still!
The Contribution of a Freshie
Deer Editur: The feat are among our most
important parts, because if we didnlt have feat
what wood we stand on. However, thare mane
use is to put our shuze on as if we didn't have
them we wood have to go bare-footed because
if yew expect to ware shuze you must ferst
Feat are meny different sizes, depending on
whose they are. The feat of children ain't as
big as grone peoples feat, but that ain't any
sign they won't be wen thay finish growing.
Also Wimmen's feat ainit as big as men's feat
in looks, but that ain't eny sign that they ain't
even bigger in reality. This is because of the
fact that wimmen always buy thare shoes
about two or three sizes too little while men
buy theres just the rite size, on account of
not caring how big thare feet gets just so thay
can lift them off of the ground. However the
wimmen want thare feat as small as possible,
and even smaller if possible, so thay put them
in shuze that make up fer thare size as far
as outside apperances go. All of wich proves
that if you go by apperances you are liable to
Babies verry often put thare feet in thare
mouth and everybody ses "How cute of him,"
but if a grone gentleman did that people wood
think he was a stark-starring fool witch he
wood be. This proves that babies have got
more rites than eny body else, wich is a pity
on account of them not having enough cents
to no it.
Expressions conserning the feat are as follows
Have your feat been lost and throwed away?
Meening that you ought to use them.
Go count your toze. Meening tend to your
lllibe Zltsenal Qllannou Page Forty-one
Your branes must be in your heels. Meen-
ing that you don't seem to have eny eny where
Amung other things the feet have at least
ten toze and if you have less you proberly have
been cheeted. However if yew haven't got
your share yew ain't missing mutch, on account
of them beingmore ornamental than useful
and not mutch of eather.
Peeple only have too feat wile animals have
four but, never the less most peeple are verry
well satisfied with the two thay have and ain't
envying the animals eny on account of them
having more feat than they have got. Pruving
that enuff of a good thing is a plenty.
HUD JONES, fresh freshie.
Adapted by Carl Brecht, Jr,
The Roses of Tech
During the many recent campaigns at
"Tech" to preserve our trees, and the general
beauty of our grounds, nothing has yet been
suggested to eliminate the prison-like appear-
ance, which Technical presents to passers-by,
but more especially to the prospective students.
The old iron fence which now surrounds our
cherished institution, was constructed many
years ago by the Na tional Government, when
the site was used as an arsenal. This strong,
sombre, enclosure, was designed, not to beau-
tify, but to restrain those who would unlawfully
seek entrance. The arsenal with its warlike
activities has long since been abandoned, and
the ground is now the home of Technical High
School, which we believe is destined to become
the greatest high school in America. It is our
opinion that great improvement can be made
on this remnant of the barbarous ages which
now adorns our campus.
We would suggest that under the supervision
of the gardening class, or any other body, roses
of the twining variety be planted the entire
length of the fences. The rainblers by virtue of
their own characteristics, with but little care
from students interested, would soon envelop
this formidable barrier and transform it into a
thing of beauty. It would not take a great deal
of imagination to appreciate what a wonderful
change a bank of many thousands of rambler
roses would make of this black, unsightly fence.
Their beauty would soon earn for them the
admiration of all who passed our way, and their
fame would spread, with the name of our
beloved institution until, they would be known
everywhere as the beautiful "Roses of Tech."
For days now Kiowana had mushed along
steadily northward. His dogs lagged and
dropped in their tracks, and were made to go
only by the cruel punishment that they re-
ceived from the fangs of the leader dog.
Kiowana and his partner, Wasatche Bill,
had set out from Dawson and travelled through
the Arctic region towards the mouth of the
Mackenzie River. But hard luck had hit these
two. Ten days out from Dawson Wasatche
Bill had become ill, and a halt had to be called.
Kiowana had cared for him the best he could,
but at the end of five days he was dead. Kio-
wana had wrapped him in a tarpaulin and had
buried him in the snow. All that night Kio-
wana had travelled to make up the lost time.
The next morning when he fed the dogs their
half ration he noted with anxiety how their
food supply had been reduced. When he was
again ready to set out he tried to find his com-
pass, he searched his clothing and unpacked
his outfit, and then a cold fear gripped him.
It had been buried with Wasatche Bill. He
had searched Wasatche's pockets, but Kiowana
remembered that Wasatche had tied it around
his neck. He thought that he might use the
sun and stars as his guide, but it had been
weeks since he had seen th: sun and seldom
did the clouds clear away at night. No, only
one th'ng remained to do, and that was to
go back over his trail and dig up the compass,
the only guide a man could depend upon in
that vast world of whiteness.
That night he camped again by the fresh
grave of his partner. The next morning he
aiose hours before dawn, fed the dogs their
scanty meal of frozen fish, and boi ed himself a
cup of coffee. After h s meal he went slowly to
the grave. Oh! how he hated the task, bu he
knew that it mi ht mean another life unless
he recovered the compass. Then he kne t down
and began scooping the snow away with his
hands. The dogs dew around in a circle, their
breath curling upward in the frozen air like
Long Kiowana worked there, the stillness
being broken only by the scratching of his
mittened hands in the snow, and liy the dogs
that howled t eir weird cries
What was the matter? He had dug deep
down into the snow a 1 ye had not run across
the body of Wasatche. Kiowana looked about
to see if he had been dig ing in the right pace.
Yes, there was the rude cross wi h the date on
i', that he had whfttled out and placed at the
head of the grave.
There could be no mistake ahout the place
Page Forty-two Ulibe Qrsenal Qliannun
but where had the dead man disappeared? Even
if he had be n buried alive he had been too
sick to move and besides he h d been frozen.
Kiowana climbed rut of his freshly dug hole,
a d sat down to think. Had wolves dug the
dead man up? No, that was impossible, for
ihey would have left some sign of clothes
scattered about. And the snow would have
been dug up. But then he remembered that
the wind could have easily drifted the hole full
of snow, again. No, wolves had not gotten
Wasatfhe, for wolves or any kind of animals
were very scarce ii these parts of the Arctic.
After Kiowana had called and called, he har-
nessed his dogs. Then, again climbed into the
hole, and kicked and tore about in it for several
minutes. He had never been a believer in
ghosts or spirits, but this queer incident mixed
with his loneliness, and the stillness of that
white Arctic night seemed to help a great fear
to grip him. He threw himself out of the grave
and onto the sledge, and with a crack of his
whip was gone in a whirl of flying snow. Kio-
Wana had turned and looked back over his
shoulder, all that was visible was a bright star
that blinked above the horizon. Then the wind
caught up the snow back by the grave and Hung
a great white spray into the air. Like a wild
man Kiowana leaped from the sledge and beat
his dogs into a mad run.
All that night and far into the next day he
ran beside his team, where, he did not know,
but, from the mental strain and physical ex-
haustion he fell into the snow and slept.
Several hours later he awoke, and brushed
the snow from his clothing. He was stiff and
part of his face was frozen, but he thawed it out
by rubbing snow upon the frozen parts. After
that he ate a small handful of food, untangled
the dogs, and was again on his way.
For several days he tried to make his dogs
go ahead, but they were so starved and worn
out that it was impossible for them to move
even the empty sledge. Kiowana, for fear of
his life, could not sleep, for at night the hungry
dogs sat around in a circle and eyed him and
each other greedily. The next day he tried to
kill one of them for food, but they were far too
wise for him. The dogs had chewed their har-
ness, until it was in many parts, and one day a
big dog ate the moosehide thongs of one of
Kiowana's snow shoes, for food.
That night as the northern lights gleamed
in the sky, a starved man watched them. As
he looked a team of dogs and two men appeared,
coming over a ridge. Kiowana looked at them
and thought how nearly dead he must be, for
he had heard how starved and frozen men, as
they were dying, had seen images of different
things. But now, real men had h'm and were
Days after, when Kiowana was recovering
at home, his friends told him of how they had
come upon the grave of Wasatche, and since he
had been an old friend of theirs, they had
started back to Dawson with his body to give
him a decent burial. VVhile they were there
they had found Kiowana's notebook which
had told of how scant his food supply was. So
these men, on learning that he had not yet
arrived at any food station, had set out to
rescue him. Paul Evans.
To The Frrshies
On Arsenal Grounds the grass does grow,
Between the buildings row on row
That mark our school,
And in the sky the cloud banks roll,
Frowning down upon those below.
We are the Sophs, short years from now
We leave this school to go and plow
On through the world.
And we will say, with pride bursting all bounds,
We Went to school on the Arsenal Grounds.
Take up our fight with ignorance!
To you we trust the torch-
And if you lose your fight, perchance,
,Twill not swell our hearts with pride to say,
We went to school on the Arsenal Grounds
In our day.
Adapted by Charles Johnson
The Guard House Stove
We love you, dear old-fashioned stove,
Although all your newness is gone,
Your creaking, rusty-looking sides,
Have surely left polish alone.
You may not know when we speak to you,
For sometimes you do not obey,
For instance, we ask you not to smoke,
But still you puff away.
The heat you throw is very hot,
VVhen it happens to be a warm day.
On cold days your heat is sometimes slack,
Old stove, what is your reason, say?
The stove looked up as if he heard,
And after a very long time
Thus boldly he spoke to us and said,
"VVhose business is it but mine Fi'
You dear old thing! how we love you, stove,
We hope, with the aid of tools,
You'll always remain in the old Guard-House
Cf the Arsenal Technical Schools.
017132 Qrsenal Gannon Page Forty-thi-ee
Dialogue Between Me and My
Me: Oh dear, oh dear! VVhy do I have to
work so hard on this old proposition?
Geom. Book: Aha! So you have to work at
last do you? I knew it would come.
lVIe: For goodness sakes! When did you come
to life? A dead geometry is bad enough, but a
live one is too much to bear.
Book: Oh no. I am only speaking for your
Me: For my own good! Then I suppose this
senseless jumble of lines and circles is giving
me brain fag for my own good! I really don't see
how you can live and contain such-such-
Book: Tut! Tut! Don't talk like that. That
jumble of lines and circles is really very in-
teresting if you only knew it. And it is your
own fault if it is hard to understand. Did
you study the proposition last night?
lVIe: Well, n-no. But what has that to do
with this one?
Book: Everything. In fact it is entirely
based upon it. That is the secret which I
am telling you for your own good. Each propo-
sition follows upon the last and you canit
do one without the one before it. Now tell me,
do you study every night?
Me: Oh yes, I usually glance over the propo-
Book: Ah, there you have it. You admit
then that you have slighted me in the past.
You have glanced at me and then spent the
whole of the evening with my friend, Miss
Fiction. I will concede that Miss Fiction is
very beautiful and her conversation quite
charming but for real intelligence I am far
more noted. There is no lightness about me.
I deal in facts and have a reason for every fact.
The world is built on facts and facts on reasons.
I also am built on facts, first a fact to begin
with and then other facts piled upon this fact-
Me: Stop! Stop! Your facts are becoming
nerve racking. Instead of talking nonsense
why donit you untangle those lines and circles
for me? I can never do them alone and I shall
surely flunk if I fail on this proposition.
Book: Ah, my dear- Rome was not built in
a day and neither was the coliseum built first,
so this proposition cannot be solved when the
whole term's work has been neglected nor can
this work be made up in a day. Do you
not believe me?
Me: Oh yes, I believe you. But can you not
give me a hint at solving this proposition?
Book: No, No! I am rather vain and when
people slight me I feel it greatly. Young people
very often slight me for the more beautiful
Miss Fiction and when they get older they are
sorry they did so. But still-you seem very
sorry you slighted me so if you will promise-
Me: Oh yes, yes! I promise always to study
you faithfully every night-on my word of
honor I will.
Book: Very well, I will help you then. The
key to this proposition is the fact that line AB
equals XY by proposition XX. There, you
Me: Oh thank you so very much, Miss
Geometry. I am going to erase the verse I
wrote about you, at once.
Book: What was that?
Upon my tombstone there will be,
An epitaph composed by me,
'She died from PlaneLGeometry'."
The Following is Free Verse Inspired by the
Sir Richard Grenville, lying off the Azores,
And commanding his own small boat, the
Spoke to Lord Howard, saying,
" Should we stay and fight these Spanish dogs?"
Lord Howard said, "VVhat chance have we
I will take my five boats and Hy,
Lest all my men should die. "
So Lord Howard turned,
And beat a hasty retreat,
With his small fleet.
Sir Grenville hoisted his wounded men aboard.
And turned on the Spanish horde.
His famous little ship against fifty-three,
A very brave man was he.
They fought all day and night,
Fighting a long-to-be-remembered fight.
And as day was breaking in the east,
The enormous Spanish ships, still hovered near
As enormous birds waiting for the feast,
The Revenge surrendered, and
Sir Richard Grenville died,
Without losing his self-pride.
He was buried, by the Spaniards,
Who, all due respect rendered.
Then there came a mighty gale
Which blew against the sail
And a mighty wave swallowed the little
Manned by her, now, swarthy crew,
To be lost forevermore in the main
Near to the coast of Spain. John Davis
Page Forty-four 2117132 Qlrsenal Qllannnn
Little Johnny Brown sat engrossed in his
book. His father looked up and smiled in-
dulgently, for the back of the book bore the
inscription, in golden letters, Civil Govern-
ment. "I will be the father of a great lawyer
some of these days," thought he.
The hands of the clock moved around to
nine, and Mr. Brown, after the fashion of the
good people of the town, retired. Johnny
The hands of the clock pointed at ten. Mr.
Brown opened the door and peeped in. The
golden letters of "Civil Government" met his
eyes. A benevolent smile overspread his face.
"I will be the father of a Congressman some
of these days," he exulted.
The clock struck eleven. -Iohnny's head was
wobbly, but he studied on. Again Mr. Brown
peeped in and again the golden letters of Civil
Government met his eyes. As he tip-toed
back to his bed-room, his face wore an expres-
sion of pure joy. Visions of his son as president
raced through his mind.
As the clock was striking twelve, Mr. Brown
once more peeped in. Johnny had at last
fallen asleep and his book had fallen unheeded
to the floor. Peeping out from between its
covers, the most glaring of red letters met Mr.
Brownls gaze, and they spelled "Jesse James!"
Marion Wells, Eng. IV.
The Great Catastrophe
For four years the world had been under the
despotic rule of a people from another planet.
These people were vastly superior in intellect,
to the people of the earth, and were enabled to
attain the positions of masters after a war of
only three months. Since then the earth had
witnessed the terrible heights of tyranism to
which the intellect of man enables him to
climb. The conquerors had everything. The
However, the wisdom of the foreigners was
so great that it finally proved their downfall,
for they neglected to prevent the earth people
from learning anything by the examples of
As a consequence, the earth's original in-
habitants grew wiser day by day and finally
reached the point where they were equal to
their tyrants. They did not stop there, how-
ever, they waited their time and secretly
gathered knowledge of their earth until their
scientists proclaimed that there was no more
to be known. A
Then was man master of all the earth secrets.
Now was the time to strike. The people all
rose as a unit and assailed the foreigners.
There followed a great war, which lasted for
eight months and ended in the expulsion of the
The world then enjoyed perfect liberty and
peace for a month. That was the happiest
month of all the year, and the people were all
rulers of themselves. But suddenly, and with-
out the slightest warning the elements refused
to supply the machines with electricity. The
horrible truth dawned on the world. Electricity
had disappeared. They knew from their re-
cent acquisition of knowledge that electricity
was the one great necessary component of
gravity. In a few minutes their worst fears
were realized. With a tremendous quiver, the
earth slipped out of its place in the heavens
and began moving toward the sun. The great
planet increased its speed as it moved until
the heavens about it seemed one great dis-
play of fireworks.
The sun seemed growing larger. They knew
what would happen now. The earth struck the
great ball of radium with a deafening crash and
a Hash which withered everything on the earth.
Then with a violent upheaval and a sudden
rending explosion from within, the earth dis-
appeared. Roland Rapier
The Rain and the Robin
fAn Early Spring Dialoguel
"Pitter! Patter! Pitter! Patter! Splash! How
spluttery I am!" groaned the rain one drizzling
spring evening. "Always getting people wet!
"Cheer-up! Cheer-up!" sang a voice close
by, causing the shower to glance tearfully at
a jolly robin.
"Splash! What good does that do my wet
soul? I try to do my part but I never succeed."
"Cheer-up! Cheer-up! Spring is here! Lots to
do! Worms to get, insects to catch! Busy time!
"Pitter! Patter! Nothing but sobs hear I!
Worms to get? What kind of water is that?
Always dripping, seeing nothing! Splish!"
"Warble! Warble! Worms ar: food, not
water. Be gay and look at the world about you.
Chee! See, you are painting the grass a lovely
green. Cheer-up! Cheer-up!"
"Pitter! Patter! Little good do I! Tears are
my failure. I'll drip my way through life while
you fly yours," wept the rain dismally.
"Cheer-up! Good-bye, friend! Spring is
"Splish! Splosh! Pitter! Patter! Farewell!
. . 1 i g +-
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Page Forty-six The Qrsenal Qllannun
The Basketball Season
During the past basketball season there
was some interesting team data worked up.
The number of points chalked up for us was
655, against our opponents, 498, 294 of these
were made in the first half and 361 in the last
half. The same old defense was held through-
out our last half, our opponents having
scored 239 during the first and 259 during the
last. The following team data is of interest
to all basketball fans:
Field Fouls Pts. Games
Griggs 28 166
Greenburg 65 130 23
Nipper 43 32 118 20
Adkins 32 64 18
Jefry 9 18 7
Conly 8 1 17 21
Wilson 12 13 37 18
Woolgar 9 18 14
Ye Basketball Stars of Yesterday
Griggs! After two years of basketball
experience on the state squad, as forward,
Griggs made his third and last year a record
breaker. He played a consistent game all dur-
ing the last season and played his best to the
last moment of the Vincennes game. We must
give "Hal" credit for being our most slippery
forward with a trained eye for the basket,
either from the field or from the foul line.
Nipper: We are now speaking of the back-
bone of our defense. One year's experience on
the state squad had trained Nipper to hold
down the quickest forward. To dribble the ball
out of the forward's hands or to intercept a pass
and get it started towards the basket, was an
easy play for "Nip". Never did Bob lose his
smile during the hottest of games nor even when
losing to Vincennes, the last game of the season.
We also give him credit for his consistent ac-
curacy at the foul line and also from the field
during a close game.
Conley: After a year of experience on the
state team, Conley is notably called "I-lawky
the Secondv. With his large form and long
reach, this back guard has caused many a star
forward to lose his reputation. To dribble
from beneath the enemy's basket to the center
of the floor and then shoot, was his favorite
play and it was a familiar sight to see the ball
drop through the net. Remember those two
long ones in the Manual game during the sec-
Atkins: Oh yes, Atkins is the fellow you see
only during a tOSS-up and time-outs because
he is every place at once during the game
while playing the forward position. To dribble
from one end of the floor to the oth er and score,
or, to shoot from the center and follow the ball
up and also score are two familiar plays of
"Jess". You can't remember that any guard
ever held him down during a close game.
Greenburg: With not much experience at
the trade, our center showed up an exceptionally
fine player for his initial season. Although
Greenburg was not so consistent as he could
have been, he surely could hit the net for two
points when it was necessary. No angle of the
floor ever worries "Tommie's " eye for the bas-
ket when he gets started playing.
Jeffries: We never worried when our center
or forward could not play the game for there
was "Jeff" to continue the good playing and
many a time he showed up better, and won the
game by his quick, accurate playing.
Updegraph: When there was anything wrong
in our defense, "time-out", and "Updy" went
in and turned the tables around and started
things going in our favor. Many a forward was
fooled when he met this short, stocky back
guard and was usually picking himself up with
the realization that "Updy" had the ball.
Wilson: A floor guard on whom we could al-
ways depend to play a consistent game was
Wilson. A star forward always earned his basket
if he shot it from under this guard Wilson.
Many a time credit was given to him for break-
ing the defense.
Woolgarr Although a smaller type of man
Bobby was a hard one to keep from scoring.
A tall guard had a hard time to take care of
him for he was in and out and had scored be-
fore the guard could have laid his hands on him.
Cline: Although he could not finish the sea-
son "Stew" made a name in Tech's basketball
history. Guarding was his favorite end of the
game and he played this position with great
ability for an inexperienced man.
This last season, we can easily say, was our
most successful basketball year especially con-
TEIJB Qwtltal Qllanliuli Page Forty-seven
sidering how late the season started on account
of football and the green players that it was
necessary to develop into stars before the end
of the season. The last games of the schedule
were with the strongest teams in the state and
they were Won by remarkable playing. The
sectional was won with greater ease than ever
before and hopes Were running high for the
state championship but in the semi-finals at
Bloomington the team collapsed entirely before
the Vincennes lads and Without any explain-
able reason whatever. They received their worst
defeat of the entire season, 29-8.
Since Techls basketball ability has grown to
the sectional championship standard, it is up
to us to take the last step higher toward State
championship. Tech must not let it be said
any longer that Indianapolis High School
Athletics is a dead problem. Vliake upl Tech,
and put your largest student body in the state
behind athletics and push her to the land
The Baseball Season
The baseball season was launched early in
April very creditably by lVIr.Crandall. The
regular team being organized, a city league was
arranged with hlanual in which four teams
from each school participated. Coach Cran-
dall chose the following state team:
Charles Baden, catcher
John Bittner, catcher
Francis Payne, pitcher
Paul Sylvester, pitcher
Carlyle Ewing, pitcher
John Conley ,lst base
Robert Nipper, 2nd base
Francis Sheppard, 3rd base
Dick lN1ills, short stop
Robert Vlloolgar, outfield
Fred hflertz, outfield
Cliflord Stelhorn, outfield
Paul German, outfield
The Sectional Champions IQZI.
Page Forty-eight 'dlibe Qtsenal Gannon
A New Athletic Field
About two months ago news in the form of
a new athletic field was bestowed upon Tech.
This new athletic field is now being prepared
under the excellent supervision of Mr. True-
blood. There are to be, three baseball diamonds,
one football gridiron and one quarter mile
track. On the south side of the field there will
also be permanent bleachers, then too, on the
North side there are to be constructed some
temporary bleachersg these bleachers combined
will hold about three thousand people.
Therefore this new athletic field coupled
with the new gymnasium should help bring
results in establishing Tech on the athletic
map. These two necessities should also help
bring out a larger amount of new material
than has ever turned out before.
Let's go, boys, and take everything in the
way of athletics next year. Everybody out.
G. L. Fults
Golf, under the coaching of Mr. Lagcrman,
proved very successful this spring.
As usual a tournament was held and this
turned out very well indeed. But there was
one thing lacking and that was the turn out of
material. The Spring of 1920 witnessed the
largest number of Golf enthusiasts ever to turn
out at Tech. Last falljust about twenty-eight
lads reported for this sport and not many
more reported this last semester. Therefore
this either signifies that the sport is not very
popular, here, which is certainly hard to believe,
or, that most of the boys are afraid to turn
out for fear of being beaten.
Don't be afraid of the great Scotch game,
fellows, turn out next fall for Golf, you might
win, one can never tell.
fAs a little brother sees it.D
Some folks think football's all the go,
And there's some more who just don't know.
VVhile there are some who think it "bosh",
But I don't see it that way "by gosh!"
Big brother Jim says football's great,
And I sure know he's got it straight.
He says you ought to be big, not "fat",
And tough, and fast, and all o' that.
He punts, and tackles, and hits thelineg
To see him play is sure just fine.
And when I'm older-a year or two-
Then, maybe, I can play football too.
All About Our Three Coaches
And Mr. Gorman
Our three athletic coaches have made for
us one of the most splendid seasons Tech has
ever witnessed. Although victory was often
coupled with defeat, that same sportsmanship
of our coaches was revealed through the splen-
did actions of our boys on the floor,field or track.
These men put their entire efforts into our
teams, the results being exponents of Tech
Coach Black worked up a basketball team
that carried away the sectional honors. This
year's team was practically a new team with
the exception of two members. Then he put on
the field a track team that was worthy of
mention. Coach Black occupies a place in the
heart of every Techonion as one of our best
After coaching our first football team Mr.
Erehart took a hand at track as assistant to
Mr. Black. He piloted our football team through
a hard schedule with but one defeat and won
for us the city championship and incidentally
the right of the first team to engrave its
name upon the city football trophy. Mr.
Erehart also assisted in the M. T. companies
as physical instructor. Mr. Erehart will not
return to Tech next semester. He will go to
a medical school where he will resume his
study as a doctor. We wish him the best of
Mr. Crandall again coached our second
basketball team and then in the spring took
his position at baseball. This baseball team
started out with a victory over West Newton.
Then of course he organized our city league
with Manual. Mr. Crandall also leaves us
this year. He will go to Milton College at
Milton, Wisconsin, where he will assume the
duties as director of Athletics. There he will
be coach of football and cross-country,
basketball, baseball, inter-collegiate tennis and
track. Mr. Crandall has been with us for
four years with the exception of the time in
which he served in the army. Although we
regret Mr. Crandall's departure we congratu-
late him upon having obtained such a position.
Mr. Gorman,our athletic manager,has carried
us through a very delightful season by match-
ing our teams with teams of state reputation.
He maintained those same old prices for our
basketball games, track meets, and gave us
several football games, at a very reasonable
price. Mr.Gorman occupies a pleasant spot
in every Techonian's pocket-book.
The Qtgtttdl CIKHIIIIUII Page Forty-nine
The Girls' Basketball
Each year the girls' basketball team has been
improving but this past year we have had the
best team yet and the most successful season.
We can feel justly proud of the team for the
fine showing it made because all of the teams
played were very strong ones. Our team was
never beaten by a large score which proves
more than anything else what a fine one it was.
The following is a summary of the games:
The North American Gymnastic Union CN.
A. Girlsj 20-Tech 15, a very close game
throughout. Bedford 10-Tech 185 a hard
fought game. Shortridge 21-Tech 20, Short-
ridge lost only one game, which was to the
N. A. G. U., during the season. Christamore
Settlement House 8-Tech 155 and on their
own floor, too. VVho said we didn't have a good
team? Deaf School 1-Tech 30. Deaf School
2-Tech 253 both times on their own floor.
Tech was defeated by a small score by the
Brownsburg High School, which met its only
defeat of the season at the hands of Evansville,
the state champion. Broadway M. E. 10-Tech
25, a good, exciting game.
The last and best game was between the
Alumnae and the Regulars, which ended in a
tie score. ,,
The members of the team were Edith Am-
buhl, Mildred Askren, Nellie Bloemhol, Jo-
sephine Buenting,Bernicc Cain, Louise Ehrgott
Miriam Garrison, Dorothy Griggs, Alice
Hewitt, Wilma Mikesell, Olive Parsons,
Florence Pringle, Maxine Tilford, Helen
At the close of the season, the members of
the team divided against themselves in two
teams, the Green and the White, for the
Monogram Game, by which five judges deter-
mined which ones were entilted to monograms
and which to A. T. S. buttons. Those who
were awarded monograms are Edith Ambuhl,
Nellie Bloemhof, Josephine Buenting, Miriam
Garrison, Alice Hewitt, Florence Pringle, Max-
ine Tilford, Helen VVeibke. Those awarded
buttons are Bernice Cain and Wilma Mike-
With a new gym in which to work, there is
promise of even a better team than this, next
It is not the ball or baskets,
Or the gym that wins the game,
lt's the close and steady team-work
That brings our High School fame.
It is not the single player,
Nor yet a five man light,
It's the strong, united effort
To boost the Green and White.
Girls' Basketball Teams 1921
Page Fifty gg The Qtsenal Gannon
Our Yell Leaders The Block T
Zip-boom - bah -- who? Yell Leaders! Since Tech athletics started in 1915 there
The yell leaders who made up this season's have been ninty-eight block T's or letters,
yell outfit were perfect applications to the term awarded to sixty-three men. In basketball
Uhumdingerf' Paul Hodges put the "hum', into
it and left the rest of the "ding" to his two
assistants, John Barry and Charles Goble.
The combination could not be equaled.
The yelling at the basketball games and tour-
nament was unsurpassed in Tech's history.
New yells were gathered up and of course the
well liked "series" was dragged over from
last year as were several other old timers.
"Hobby" possesses that effervescent peppy
attitude that is required of yell leaders. He
goes into it head first and "comes up smiling."
His example as a leader is worthy of notice
by future yell leaders.
Although Tech loses nearly all of the nine-
teen-hundred and twenty glorious and vic-
torious football team, Mr. Gorman has hopes
for just as good ateam for nineteen-hundred
and twenty-one, for he has arranged eight
hard football games for the coming season.
The schedule is as follows:
September 24 Greenfield Here
October 1 Newcastle Here
October 8 Elwood at Elwood
October 15 Sheridan Here
October 28 Shortridge Here
November 5 Steele High School
November 12 hlanual Here
November 18 Klale High School of
there have been thirty-eight letters to twenty-
iive men: in baseball, twenty-one letters to
eighteen men, and in football, nine letters to
Two of these men are "Three-letter-men"
because they have received a letter in three
different sports, nine are "Two-letter-men"
and the remaining are "One-letter-men".
Will there ever be a "Four-letter-mann?
Robert Nipper has the best chance to be the
first one to be awarded letters in four sports
because he has three letters now and has a
chance to get his fourth in track this season.
The year of 1920 was our largest year for
Block T awards, twenty-three letters were
awarded to seventeen men. This was the first
year all four sports were school athletics. In
1917 with only three sports, twenty-one letters
were received by seventeen men which shows
that athletics can be better in the future with
Hurrah for 1921!
The Fairy Diary
Each morning in our pasture, before the sun
r is up,
The fairies churn the milkweed to fill the butter-
Their housewives wind the four o'clock and
then each little gnome,
Gets out a little goldenrod and drives the
cow-slips home. Ethel Blair
5 EDB QISBITHIQHIUIIJI1 Page F ifty-one
Basketball Schedule for 1921-22
Tech's prospects for a wonderful basketball
season, are very good indeed, and to test the
team's ability, Mr. Gorman, has arranged a
very hard schedule.
The schedule is as follows:
Friday Nov. 18 Valley Mills at Valley Mills
Saturday Nov. 19 Sandusky, Here
Wednesday Nov. 23 'West Newton at West
Friday Nov. 25 Frankfort at Frankfort
Friday Dec. 2 hfooresville at hlooresville
Saturday Dec. 3 Columbus, Here
Friday Dec. 9 Arcadia, Here
Wednesday Dec. 14 Anderson at Anderson
Saturday Dec. 17 Muncie, Here
Friday jan. 6 Bedford at Bedford
Tuesday Jan. 10 Crawfordsville at
Saturday jan. 1-1 Kokomo, Here
Friday jan. 20 lhlartinsville, Here
Saturday Jan. 21 Steele High School at
Wednesday lan. 25 Shelbyville, Here
Friday jan. 27 Greenfield at Greenfield
Saturday Jan. 28 Lebanon, Here
VVednesday Feb. 1 Pendleton, Here
Saturday Feb. 4 Franklin at Franklin
Saturday Feb. 11 Anderson, Here
Friday Feb. 17 Bloomington at
Saturday Feb. 25 jefferson, Here
March 3-4 Sectional, Here
March 11 Regional
March 17-18 State Meet
Fickle Woman and Football
A lylodern Tragedy
Scene 1. The football field, before the game.
CEnter the hero of the day and the rest of
The Hero: Well boys, this is going to be
some game, and just watch me star whilst the
fair Geraldine's optics light on me.
The Team: just remember we're going to
fF.ntcr the scrub captain.j
The Scrub Cin villainous tonesj: Curses, but
I'll get that hero's goat yet!
Scene 2: The bleachers.
CEnter Geraldine and her chums.j
Geraldine: Oh, isn't jack fthe heroj playing
splendidly! What! No, it can't be, they are
carrying him off the field.
The Cham: Csympatheticallyjz Brace up
dearie, here comes the scrub captain.
Geraldine Cin disgustjz Oh, I can't bear him!
Scene I: Next day on the street.
CF.nter Geraldine proudly escorted by the
Geraldine: Why, Bob, I didnlt think you
could do it. You certainly are a born player.
The Scrub: Aw, that's nothing, just a little
Qlinter Jack swathed in bandages and sup-
ported by crutchesj
faclz: Howdydo, lvfiss -
Geraldine funable to recognize the patientjz
Officer, arrest this man for flirting.
Scene 1: Police Court.
CF.nter Judge and later unlucky jackj
fudge: I sentence you to forty-nine days in
facie: All right, judge. CAsidel Oh, evil
fate, why dost thou pursue me? 1'll end it all.
Ojier: Come along here, you young de-
Exeunz all nzidrt gnaxhing of teeth.
They start with an easy pace,
And string along the track,
Each confident of the race!
They're running easy stillg
But one opponent takes the lead,
Sets up the pace a notch-
"Come on boys, we want speed!"
The rooters jump and shoutg
The opponent still holds first,
But our man's eating up the lead,
"Come on boy, win or bust!"
Heads thrown back,
Each face is set and grim,
Now for one last spurt,
Straining every limb.
Deep silence holds the crowds,
We can hear the gasping men
Each putting forth his very best
ln the sprint to reach the end.
A flash of green and white,
The rooters, breathless, wait,
Then yell and stream across the track,
Technical broke the tape!
I 4,.. Siu E D Of-rl
5 ' ' cg
f fi 1
4 ..4.A' ,NG Q V,-,. .4
R. O. T. C. Report
COMPANY A commanded by Captain John
Moore and assisted by First Lieutenant Alex
Siaggart and Battalion-adjutant Frederick
Tammis and Second Lieutenants Adrian
Pierce and G. L. Fults has furnished a
circus for the early arrivals by their antics,
especially in calisthenics. Going around the
instructor in a circle they flop their arms
about, hopping alternately on one foot and one
COMPANY B is commanded by Captain
Clarence Cochran and assisted by First Lieu-
tenants Harold Zimmerman and George Calla-
han, and Second Lieutenant Fred Sanders.
The officers have, through their concentrated
efforts, succeeded in subduing Art Link and
Dick Mills, so that the company may now exe-
cute Qthis means "kill',D Squads East, after
about a sixty yard running start.
COMPANY C, old man, Yale Raymond, First
Nuisance, George Smith, Shave-tails, Garritt
Bates and Addison King. This is the famous
bayonet company you have probably heard
Sergeant Russell raving about. The only draw-
back is, that when Garritt Bates stands in
front of his platoon, the imaginary enemy can't
be seen because of his side-burns.
COMPANY D is commanded by our infant
captain, Noble Boston, and assisted by our
bean-pole twins, First Lieutenant Doyle Jessup
and Second Lieutenant Clarence Jessup. Eu-
gene Taylor has also been found wearing Second
Lieutenant bars in this company. This, how-
ever, is not a disgrace, better people have worn
them. The only thing that this company has
achieved is the interruption of the sleep that
the CANNON staff tries to make up while in the
Guard House. You understand that the staff
does its best work at night.
COMPANY E is the biggest company of the
regiment. It needs two captains, Leonard
Swartz and Arthur White, also First Lieutenant
George Callahan and Second Lieutenants How-
ard Fieber and Robert Cook. This company
attained its fame through the tailor-made whip-
cord uniform of its ardent commander, old man
1. .., 'gi' 2
'G " .-'.' i -iia
Swartz. This captain Che thinks he should
be Lieutenant Colonelj is the 'chard boiledest"
of any officer since the time of Colonel Dynes.
OUR BAND, of whom you have probably heard,
drills the famous sixth period. Carroll War-
rick, our sprucy adjutant and captain, com-
mands, assisted by First Lieutenant and Drum-
major, John Berry and his worship, Second
Lieutenant Gowdy Sunderland, S. R.
COMPANY F is commanded by our old foot-
ball hero, Captain Richard Watson, and as-
sisted by First Lieutenant Howard White
fchampion gallery shot of the Indianapolis
R. O. T. C. Unitj, First Lieutenant Dean Bros-
man and Second Lieutenant Wayne Money.
This company would rather rave about the
shooting of their First Lewie than drill. How-
ever, you noticed they were right in style the
last battalion parade and review, even though
Lieutenant Brosman pulled his usual eighteen
and three-fourths "boners."
COMPANY G, commanded by Captain Rich-
ard Smith and assisted by Second Lieutenants
Leonard Pearson and John McVey, seems to
drill too soon after lunch. Anyhow, when the
First Sergeant blows his whistle you see about
half the outfit come tumbling out of the lunch
room, each cadet with asandwich or two in his
mouth, and some ice-cream, pie or a pickle in
either, neither, or both hands. You who eat
and then loaf the eighth period will admit this
company is good stuff, especially considering
the way they make their rifles talk while going
through the manual of arms.
COMPANY H is commanded by a little ball
of conceit and slick hair, Captain Sherman
Jones, assisted by First Lieutenant Shelby Min-
ter. This company was atrocious, until it in-
stituted an ofliceris school within the com-
pany. Four cadets have qualified for Second
Lieutenants, Louis Heidt, Stanley Moore, Ed-
win Muhlenbruch and George Mason. They
are now assigned to their respective platoons.
Classes in the Woodruff Clubhouse object to
the noise made by the old man when he gets in
front of his brave hearties to give them P. T.
The Qtsenallfztannnn Page Fifty-three
COMPANY I, commanded by Captain Ed-
ward Ford, and First Lieutenants Edward Zoll-
ner and Tom Omelvena, has been noted for its
strict attention during lectures. The Sergeant
can explain to the company all about modern
warfare, chemical and aircraft organizations,
the theory of sights, Or why, when and what
to salute, and get the best sort of attention.
Well, that explains it, there are not any Second
Lieutenants in this company to distract their
COMPANY K, composed mostly of freshmen,
is being organized by Cadet Major Charles
Noble. Probably one of Captain jones' Officer
school pupils will land the old man's berth.
COMPANY L is under the same inHuence as K
company, being organized at this writing, and
the cadets are generally so anxious to get home
to mother before dark, that they forget about
Winking in ranks, so therefore, they must come
one period earlier next morning to"walk the
DON 'T get into arguments with Sergt. Mc-
Carthy, he knows a lot more than you do.
More Shave Tails
General Orders,No. 7. April 3O,1921.
1. The following promotions and appoint-
ments of cadet officers have been made.
To be captain: Harold Mabee, Schuyler
Blue, Howard VVhite, Sherwood Blue, Tom
Omelvena, Eugene Taylor.
To be First Lieutenant: Frank Wehrel,
To be Second Lieutenant: Fred Mertz
Rextell S. West, Arnold Schultz, Robert
Drake, Robert Nipper, Arthur C. Gest, John
Morris, Hal Griggs, Perry Becker, Lester
Koelling, Fayette Burroughs.
DONV1' forget to take off your hat when you
enter the orderly room-Sergt. Amy, a newly
commissioned second-lieutenant, or a member
of the faculty might be in there, and besides
it's the proper thing to do.
DON'T get down on your knees when ask-
ing the Captain if you may lead the platoon
when the oflicer in charge is absent.
z 1 0-
5'-.3" ., .1 ,.,, . .., , .H V .
R. O. T. C. Instructors
Page Fifty-four The Qtsenal Qlannuu
Enlisted October 10, 1907. Served in fol-
lowing organizations: 3 years in 11th U. S. In-
fantry, 8 months G. S. C.: 6 months, 19th
Infantry, 1 year, 11 months, 15th U. S. In-
fantry, 3 years, 6th Infantry, 1 year, 5 months,
Infantry, unassigned: 8 months, air service,
2 years Infantry unassigned. Indianapolis,
H. S. R. O. T.C. Served in Cuba, Philippine
Islands, China, and Mexico.
Approximately ten years service. Served
with the following organizations: 1-1th Infantry,
44th Infantry, 361st Infantry, Air service, 7th
Infantry, Infantry unassigned. Served in the
following grades: Corporal, sergeant, battalion
sergeant major, regimental sergeant major and
captain. VVent overseas in June, 1918. Re-
turned to U. S. in April, 1919. Saw service in
France and Italy prior to the signing of the
armistice. His service in the army has taken
him into four different countries and into forty
states of the union.
Enlisted in U. S. Cavalry, September 1, 1910.
Embarked for service in the Philippines in
November, 1910. Returned to the Mexican
Border in April, 1912. Discharged and re-en-
listed on the 1V1exican Border in August, 1913.
Transferred to Infantry Service at the Panama
Canal in November, 1915, in which he served
until he was transferred to the R. O. T. C. in
Enlisted April 8, 1913. Sailed for France,
December 24, 1917. Took part in the follow-
ing engagements: Verchen Sector, St. Mihiel
Sector, Bois de Belleau, Soissons. Was
wounded in Verchen Sector and in the St.
Mihiel Sector. Returned to U. S. April, 1919.
Discharged June, 1919. Re-enlisted December
16, 1920 as Instructor of lNIilitary Science and
Sergeant Mc Carty
Service has extended through a period of
fifteen years. Served in Mexico and France.
Served in the following organizations: 23rd
Infantry, 72nd Infantry, 2nd Division. Also
the following engagements: Aisne, Aisne-Marne,
Belleau Woods, Soissons, and St. Mihiel. Has
held all grades from private to lieutenant.
Enlisted December 16, 1911. Served in
the 25th Coast Artillery Corps. Discharged
December 25, 1914 with rank of Sergeant and
Gun Commander. Re-enlisted April 16, 1917.
Discharged August 26, 1918 with rank of First
Sergeant to accept commission of First Lieu-
tenant in Q. M. C. Sailed for France with
316th Service Battalion, September 15, 1918.
Returned to U. S., August 1, 1919. Discharged
at Camp Gordon, Georgia, August 7, 1919. Re-
enlisted December 23, 1920 in R. O. T. C.
Served with 11th Cavalry and 26th Infantry.
Served on the lNIexican Border and in France.
Was in the following engagements in France:
Toul Sector, Cantigny Offensive, Montdidier-
Noyon, Saizerais Sector, Aisne-1NIarne, Saint
Mihiel, Mense Argonne. Served six months in
Germany on out-post duty with First Division.
Served 8 months in VVashington, D. C., with
the 63rd Infantry. VVent out on R. A. R. lNIarch
27, 1920. Re-enlisted for R. O. T. C., Novem-
ber 14, 1920.
A is for Amy, Outa my sight.
B is for Boston, dress to the right.
C is for Callahans, the similar boys,
D is for Dean, girls are his toys.
E is for Everett, happy and gayC?J
F is for Fischer, Howja git that way?
G is for G. Smith, who don't know his oats,
H is for Hirschman, speaking of goats!
I is for initiative, which none of us have.
J is for Jessups. Jessup C., Jessup D.
K is for King, 'nuff said, let him be.
L is for Lieutenants, fall in and give 'way.
M is for Minter. Cut out the play.
N is for Noble, head in, eyes to the right,
O is for Omelvena, who works day and night.
P is for Pruett, our hard-Working driller,
Q is for - er - er - fuse fillerb
R is for Raymond, head 'n eyes to the front,
S is for Sammis, you need never hunt.
T is for Taggart, a baker of bread,
U is for Upde, Our Colonel, 'nuff said.
V is for vicious which we are we don't think,
W is for Warrick, no bigger'n a wink.
X and Y are for nothing, they're queer little
And Z is for Zimmerman and Zollner.
Oh me, Oh my-curtain.
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Page Fifty-Six The Qtsenal Qtannon
Four Act Drammer
Harry Anther ................. Hero
Helen Blazes .... .............. H eroine.
Otto Manna .................. Villian
As the curtain arises the cast is seen enjoying
a snow battle on the school campus. Harry
rushes in at this moment. He is clad in a track
suit and is industriously engaged in shovelling
cinders off his knees. Otto sneers. Our hero
valiantly sneezes. At this the chorus lightly
skips to the front of the stage and exquisitely
renders "La Gargle Song" from Listerine.
They then retire to the back of the stage as
Helen trips in and rolls up to our brave hero.
"Helen," he ejaculates.
" Harry," she articulates.
Curtain falls and orchestra leader belabors
the fagging muses of the Gods ofjazz under his
School gym, chorus is engaged in the
arduous task of swinging dumb-bells. Otto
tries to osculate the fair Helen. Harry enters at
this moment carrying a tennis racquet and pro-
ceeds to lob the villain. Helen raises a pair of
gladsome orbs to those of our hero and murmurs
'My protector." Otto ,with a wild and glamor-
ous eye, caresses Helen with the rotund end of
a dumb-bell. He then diabolically trolls forth
the "Laughing Song" from Hyena. The
curtain falls to the warbling of the Kettle-
Curtain rises on the athletic field as our Hero
enters in his dashing way. Otto tries to hypno-
tize him by throwing a bouquet with a brick
nestling in the middle of it, at him. This fails
to work by sliding off Harryls well oiled hair.
Otto starts to choke Helen. Harry objects for
some reason. Otto knocks him down and pulls
out a dagger. The curtain oozes down as the
chorus beautifully breathes forth "Alice Tea-
By this time the orchestra had gently slipped
into the arms of Somnusg while the cast out-
numbered the remaining audience of seven
jailbreakers, who arose and filed out.
Judge: And why haven't you a horn on your
Prisoner: Please, Mr. Judge, I don't needa da
horn. It says on the front, Dodge!
'Tis sad to love
But oh, how bitter,
To have a girl
Whose face don't fit'er.
Teacher: Who can tell me what an oyster
Billy: I know-I can tell, teacher.
Teacher: Well, Billy, you may tell us what
an oyster is.
Billy: An oyster is a fish built like a nut.
During an odd trial in Scotland, the fact
came out that there was an old Scottish law of
1238 under whose provisions a bachelor was
subject to a fine if he declined to accept a leap
How would you like to live there, boys?
Barber: Well my little man, how would you
like your hair cut?
Billie: Just like dad's, with a round hole on
Tenderfoot: A donkey was tied to a six foot
rope, and eighteen feet away there was some
hay. How did he go about to get it?
First Class Scout: He gave up, I suppose.
Tenderfoot: No, he Walked right up and ate
First Class Scout: But you said he was tied
to a rope six feet long.
Tenderfoot: Yes, but the rope wasn't tied
"Why are all these girls in bathing suits
scampering so excitedly from the beach? Shark
in the water?',
"No-little rain cloud in the sky."
"Is my son getting well grounded in the
classics ?" asked the millionaire.
"I would put it stronger than that," replied
the private tutor. "I may say that he is actually
stranded on them."
The teacher was discouraged over a dunce
of a boy in the class. At last, in order to see
what the boy would do, she said:
"Here is twopence, go and ask the doctor
to give you twopence worth of brains."
The boy coming back with a dull, disap-
pointed look, said to the teacher:
"The doctor wouldn't sell me any brains.
Shall I go back and say they are for you ?"
Qlibe Qtsenal Qtamwn Page Fifty-seven
Minister Cat close of sermonjz We shall
now sing hymn No. 389.
Operator Qrousing from napj: The line is
As You Were
A negro sergeant who was drilling his men
noticed that one in the rear rank was some-
"Stand at 'tention, nigger!" he bawled.
"I'se at 'tention, Sergeant."
"Nigger, from yo' knees up yo' is at 'tention,
but from yo' knees down yo' is at parade re st."
Why are four years of high school like four
of Shakespeare's plays?
The first year is "A Comedy of Errors."
The second, "Much Ado About Nothing."
The third, "As You Like It."
The fourth, "All's Well that Ends Well."
And Then Some
An upholsterer recently repaired an old sofa
and found the following articles between the
back and the cushion, forty-seven hair-pins,
three mustache combs, thirteen needles, two-
hundred and eleven pins, eight cigarettes, three
cigars, twenty-seven cuff-buttons, six pocket
knives, fifteen poker chips, a small bottle of
nerve medicine, thirty-four wads of chewing
gum, fifty-nine tooth-picks, twenty-eight
matches, and fourteen button-hooks. The
sofa belonged to a man who had three un-
There was a chap who kept a store.
And though there might be grander,
He sold his goods nor asked for more,
And his name was Alexander.
He mixed his gcods with cunning hand,
He was a skillfull brander.
And since his sugar was half sand,
They called him Alex-Sander.
He had his dear one, to her came
Then lovingly he scanned her,
He asked would she change her name,
Then a ring did Alex-hand-her.
"Oh, yes!," she said, with smiling lip,
"HI can be commander."
And so they formed a partnership,
And called it Alex-and-her.
Rules for Pedestrians
Since we see so many rules for auto drivers,
why can we not have a list for the poor pedest-
rian, such as follows:
1. All pedestrians should carry horns not less
than one inch in diameter. These should be
blown twice before crossing the street.
2. Pedestrians should never carry pencils or
sharp instruments in pockets. If run over they
would puncture tires.
3. Pedestrians on seeing new driver on street
should get behind trees. Their presence might
otherwise confuse the driver.
4. All pedestrians must take out a special
license before walking on the streets, so if they
are run over and mangled past all recognition
they can still be traced by their relatives. This
license should be displayed at all times. We
think if it were artistically draped across the
vest like a watch chain, it would look very
5. If an autoist barely grazes a pedestrian in
passing him, the latter should never hurl un-
pleasant remarks after him, but should smi-
lingly beg pardon for being outdoors at all.
Observance of these rules will make motor-
ing a real pleasure.
A Dark Thought
This yere hash am certainly what you would
It done got all kinds in it.
Cosmopolitan nuthin! Dat hash am a
Review of Reviews.
Teacher: Ruthie, name the different vege--
tables-lettuce, onions, radishes and so forth-
that your father raised in his garden.
Ruthie Qeight years oldj: Lettuce, onions,
Teacher: What else?
Ruthie: I-I donlt think papa raised and so
forth this year.
A lyfissouri man has discovered a new way to
get rid of mosquitoes. He says to rub alum on
your face and hands. When the mosquito
takes a bite, it puckers his buzzer so it can't
sting. It sits down in a damp place, tries to dig
the pucker loose, catches its death of cold, and
dies of pneumonia.
On the wall of a wayfarers' lodging house in
Boston hangs this significant sign: "Look be-
fore you sleep".
Page Fifty-eight The Qtsenal Gannon
Paul CHobbiej Hodges: "Rotten! Rotten."
Luise Harris: Collecting dance programs.
Karl Fisher: Wearing a different uniform every
Sergt. Amy: His famous rifle team.
Zenda Bertram: Vamping the school at large.
Anna C. Gardner: Curls!
Russell Hottel:Katie N.
Sherman Jones: Wearing feetwear, Socks or
Yale Raymond: Caressing the Senior Class
Margaret Van Ness: just being cute, that's all.
Dorothea Reisner: Her Senior play try-outs.
Leon QDukej Desautel: Flunking French.
Garret Bates: Raising mud-guards for side
Jack Jones: Paper Collars.
Mary McMeans:CWe won't tell you herej
Francis Garthwaite: Collecting Frat. pins.
Warren Fawcett, Oh, you red hair!
Tom Omclvena: Acquiring a nose for news.
Hughes Updegraph : The Public Speaking Class.
Shideler Harpe: Owning the campus.
Mayme Clarke: Living in trees.
Our Tech: The CANNON!
Village Nlinister Cthrowing aside the local
paperjz Well, that's enough to try the patience
His Wife: Why what's the matter, dear?
Minister: Last Sunday I preached from the
text, "Be ye, therefore, steadfast," but the
printer makes it read, "Be ye, there for break-
Mother: Marion dear, what makes you so
Marion: I don't know mamma, unless it is
that big dose of saucyparilla you gave me this
The patient teacher was trying to show the
small boy how to read with expression.
"Try that again," said the teacher. "Read
as if you were talking. Notice that mark at
Johnny studied the interrogation mark a
moment, and an idea seemed to dawn upon
him, then he read out triumphantly, "Where
are you going little button hook?',
Boy Cto fishermanj :Getting any bites?
Fisherman: Yeh, lots of them.
Boy: What kind?
Fisherman: Miskeeter Bites.
Owing to spiritualism a new set of rules and
regulations should be published, governing the
conduct of students:
1. No student should, under any circum-
stances ,be allowed to bring a ouija board into
any examination room. Any student who, by
the blank expression on his face, indicates that
he is communicating with Webster, Caesar,
Shakespeare, or other authorities on the subject
of examinations, should be removed from school.
2. Spiritual advisers should be furnished for
all students in need of moral support. Advisers
should make themselves as agreeable and
harmless as possible: but under no circumstance
should a student, however irritated, cut off
the breath of an adviser.
3. Table tipping in the Lunch room during
the soup course should be forbidden.
4. Any student who feels that he is about to
become the recipient of a message from some
other world, should report to the City Hospital
for further treatment. Any student who thinks
he sees the ghost of a chance of getting through
the Annex Hall should take a photograph of
.t immediately, and submit it to the teacher
involved. Charles Swain.
In Stenography IV
Miss Finch: Here is a touching sentence:
4'He took her hand in friendly greeting."
Mary Furnace: Aw, that isn't touching.
Louise Berg: You must be used to it.
At a Restaurant
Customer: What kind of soup is this?
VVaiter: It's bean soup sir.
Customer: Never mind what
What is it now?
Sad, but True
There was a youth
Who took pleasure in dances,
In strolls and dates and all other things
In which young people dog
But when reports came around,
His face grew uncommonly long and sad,
The sound of jazz did grate his ear,
His father knew-He'd Flunked.
This hotel will be kept by the widowfoflthe
former landlord who died last summergonl-a
new and improved plan.
The Qrseual Gannon Page Fifty-nine
Manners are like virtues, that is, we have all
the available stock while the other fellows have
none. Manners are like small brothers and
sisters, they are always in the way. The
manners I am going to deal with, are those used
When some one else is reciting be sure and
wave your hands in the ozone with undue
agitation. This always pleases the teacher and
shows her you know your lesson, it also
shows the class your hands are acquainted
with soap and water sometimes. In a test
never look over the shoulder of the bright girl
ahead of you- move up and sit with her. This
eliminates the strain you might receive if you
" rubber-necked " over her shoulder.
If the teacher is married call her Miss, if
she has fought shy of the male species call her
Mrs. This always warms the cockels of her
heart and paves the way for satisfactory
If Mr. Stuart or any other honored member
of the faculty is paying homage to your class-
room, call your class-teacher by her first name
for this shows the honorable visitors that the
teacher and you are on "friendship's favorite
grounds." At the same time borrow lunch
money from the teacher0this is another
sign of your touching friendship.
If a teacher, new to the school, passes your
class-room door, don't whistle at him. He may
be, by nature, reserved and sort of bash-
ful towards recognizing strangers such as you.
And if one of our budding young girls enters
your recitation room with a bulletin be sure
and sneeze "who is she" for this not only shows
you are interested in her identity and wish her
to feel welcome and at home but it is also such
good exercise for your sounding board.
And last but not least, never forget to laugh
atyour class-mate's mistakes when he's reciting.
You could not give better proof of your sense
of humor and also it shows your openhearted-
ness in relieving the one who is reciting of the
embarrassment he might otherwise have felt.
Mary Susan Williams.
A landlady in Canada kept a register in
which she asked each guest to write a quota-
tion opposite his name. She was very proud of
this book and always showed it to visitors.
"There is only one thing I can't understand,"
she would say, "and that is what an American
gentleman wrote. People always smile when
they read it. It's just three words: 'Quoth the
Why Teachers go Crazy
1. Shall we Write on both sides of the paper?
2. I didn't hear the question.
3. What is the assignment? I forgot.
4. Are the test papers graded yet?
5. Must we write in ink?
6. I left my work in my locker.
7. I studied the wrong lesson.
8. May I borrow a pencil?
9. I didn't get that far.
10. My pen's dry.
Doctor: Did you open both windows in your
room last night?
Patient: No doctor, not exactly. There's
only one Window in my room, so I opened it
Mother: James, did you take that medicine
that I told you to take at school today?
James: No, mother, Arthur Jones liked it so
welll gave it to him for an apple.
The class composition was on "Kings,,' and
this is what one boy wrote:
'fThe most powerful king on earth is VVor-
King, the laziest is Shir-King, one of the worst
is Smo-King, the wittiest is .Io-king, the quiet-
est is Thin-King, the thirstiest, Drin-King,
the slyest,Win-king, and the noisiest, Tal-
Boy: Say, grocer, how much are your eggs?
Boy: How much are cracked ones?
Grocer: 20 cents.
Boy: Crack me a couple of dozen.
The Lunch-Room Line
Run, and the rest run with you.
Walk, and you get knocked down.
Mr. Speicher: Once I had to send a girl
out of the room because she made another girl
laugh when she gave an oral report. Alice,
what girl do you want sent out?
Alice: Frank Alexander.
All is still down by the rillside,
On the hillside all is still,
Still my thoughts turn to that hillside,
And my still thoughts to the rill.
I still wander by the rillside, ti
Drink weak nectar from the rill,l
Whilst my mem'ry's on the hillside
Where the ancient still is still.
Page Sixty The Eternal Gannon
A Tongue Twisting Tragedy
Tessie Triptoe, Tech, tender-foot, twice tardy
tiptoed tittering toward the teacher.
"Tardy," thundered teacher. "Trot thou
to tardy-triflers' test."
Tessie, trying to ternporize, twittered, '4Trol-
ley thumped trades-rnan's truck, tying traflic
tightly. Tried trotting. Tired to tearslv'
Thus Tessie tarried tearfully. Tender Tech-
ites thrilled. Teacher tiraded tartly, "Treach-
erous trolleys train to track-triumphs. Tardy
Testers tolerate tearful tales. Tell troubles to
them. Trot thither!"
This time Tessie tried tricks. Tottering
tragically, toppled trustfully toward tow-headed
Teddy Trotter. Teddy turning traitor, tumbled
trusting Tessie tenderly to terra-firrna.
Tumultl Tempest! Torrential tears! Tessie
tore Ted's Trig. to tatters. Ted, terror-tamed,
took to tall timber. The teacher trumpeted to
tumultuous Techitesg "Tie thy tattling tongues.
Tessie, thinkest thou to trample Tech Tradi-
tions thus? Tame thy testy temper! Tech
tries to teach that tardiness thieves time."
Thereafter Tessie thought.
A Psychiatric Board was testing the men
tality of a thick-lipped, weak-faced negro
soldier. Among other questions, the special-
ist asked, "Do you ever hear voices without
being able to tell who is speaking, or where the
sound comes from?"
"Yes, sub," replied the negro.
"When does this occur?"
"When I'se talking over de telephone."
Fooling the Boss
Casey: You're a hard worker, Dooley.
How many hods ol mortar have you carried?
Dooley: VVhist, man-I'm foolin' the boss.
I've carried this same hodful up and down all
day and he thinks I'm workin'.
Shopkeeper: What can I do for you?
Boy: I want to see about your ad for a man
to retail Canaries.
Shopkeeper: Do you think you can do the
Boy: No. I just wanted to find out how the
canaries lost their tails.
Judge: You are accused of evading the law.
Bob White: That can't be true, your honor.
B. W.: If I had evaded the law, they would
not have caught me.
A funny old man told this to me.
"I fell in a snowdrift in june," said he.
"I went to a ball game out in the sea
I saw a jelly-fish float up in a tree
I found some gum in a cup of tea
I stirred my milk with a brass key
I opened my door on my bended knee
I beg your pardon for this," said he.
"But 'tis true when told as it ought to be
Tis a puzzle in punctuation you see."
Father: What does the teacher say about
your poor arithmetic work?
Willie: She says she'd rather you Wouldn't
help me with it.
"Yes, doctor, one of Willie's eyes seems ever
so much stronger than the other. How do
you account for that?"
"Knot-hole in baseball fence, most likely,
First Boy: What position do you occupy
at the bank?
Second Boy: I'm draft clerk.
First Boy: Yes, he opens and shuts the
Caruso, the great tenor, was passing by a
farm when he stopped for a drink. The farmer
was a congenial old man, and asked for his
"Caruso", replied the singer.
The farmer eyed him over and exclaimed,
"Well, well, I never thought that I'd live to
see Robinson Crusoe."
First School Boy: Do you play on the piano?
I-Iis chum: Not when Maw's around-she'd
be afraid I'd fall off.
Clear As Mud
A visitor to a school began an address as
follows: This morning, children, I propose to
offer you an epitome of the life of St. Paul.
Perhaps some of you are too young to grasp the
meaning of the word epitome. Epitorne, chil-
dren, is in its signification synonymous with
Teacher: How would you punctuate the sent-
ence, "Elizabeth, a pretty girl, ran down the
Boy: I should make a dash after Elizabeth.
mb! QISBUBI 681111011 Page Sixty-one
What Would Happen?
If Miss Shover didn't have a newspaper?
If Mr. Hornaday had his hat on?
If Miss Thuemler didn't have a committee
If Mr. Gorman didn't assign a lesson?
If Miss Binninger didn't ask why you were
If everyone put away his tray in the lunch-
If Mr. Richardson failed to spring a test on
If a girl didn't run from a snake?
If Paul Hodges didn't lose his voice?
If Dorothea Reisner didn't have a "stunt"
up her sleeve?
If you found Mr. Black where he was sup-
posed to be?
"Please, mum, there ain't no coal in the
"Why on earth didn't you tell me before?"
"Because there was some then."
Pat: Sure an' I'll niver come to this t'eayter
ag'in. Do they tink I'm a fool intoirely?
Terry: An' why not?
Pat: D'ye see that sign? In case of foire,
walk out slowly t'rough the foyer.
Horace visited the zoo for the first time:
When he caught sight of the zebra, he ex-
claimed: "Oh, papa, look at the calico horse."
Little Peter was walking around the house
barefooted. His mother said to him: "You'll
catch cold. You mustn't walk in your bare
Peter answered: "These aren't bear feet.
These are boy's feet."
Teacher: What is the meaning of the Knight
of the Bath? 0
Tommy Cimpetuouslyl: Saturday night.
Son: Mother, I've seen a man who makes
Mother: Are you sure?
Son: Yes, he had a horse nearly finished when
I saw him: he was just nailing on his back feet.
The Same but Different .
"Are you in pain, my little man?" asked the
"No," replied the Freshie, "the pain's
Strictly Cash Basis.
Shortly after the reconstruction period began
an old southern planter met one of his negroes
whom he had not seen since the day he got mar-
"Well, well," said the planter, "what are you
doing, Uncle Jim?"
"I'se a preachin' ob de Gospel."
"What! You a preaching?"
"Yassah, master, I'se a preachin'."
"Well, well, do you use notes ?"
"Nossuh. At first I used notes, but now I
demands de cash."
"Your honor," said the arrested chauffeur
"I triedto warn the man, but the horn wouldn't
"Then why dicln't you slacken speed rather
than run over him?"
A light seemed to dawn on the prisoner.
"That's one on me," he answered. "1 never
thought of that."
Out ofthe Mouths ot Babes
Mother: Why, Willie, what are you doing
-teaching that parrot to swear?
Willie: No, mother, I'm just telling him
what he must not say.
He was a home-sick colored soldier in a labor
battalion, and he saw no chance of a discharge.
"De nex wah dey has,', he announced to a
friend,"deys two men dat ain't goin, - - me an
de man dey sends to git me."
The Colonel, who was known not to have
spent all his early career in the neighborhood
of a Y. M. C. A., had called the command
together and given them a biblical address.
The rest of the oiiicers' mess were kidding him
"You're a fine old reprobate to be quoting
scripture. Why, I'll bet you a tenner you can't
even quote the Lord's Prayerf'
"Done,"said the Colonel promptly and began
"Now I lay me down to sleep-"
"Here's the ten,Colonel,"gasped the One Star
and then, turning to the others, added, "by
gosh, boys, I didn't think he knew itf'
Pub: My pinchers got mad today.
Dub: How's that.
Fub: I left them by the fire and they lost
Page Sixty-two Ulibe Qtsenal Qtannnn
With Apologies to Longfellow
Under the swinging street car strap
The homely old maid stands
And stands, and stands, and stands, and stands
And stands, and stands, and stands.
The burly farmer strode anxiously into
the postoflice. "Have you got any letter for
Mike Howe?" he asked.
The new postmaster looked him up and
down. "For who?," he snapped.
"Mike Howe!" repeated the farmer stiffy.
"I don't understand," said the postmaster.
"Don't understand?,' roared the applicant.
"Can't you understand plain English? I asked
if youive got any letter for Mike Howef'
"Well, I haven'tl" snorted the postmaster,
"Neither have I a letter for anybody else's
Mother: Jimmy, quit pulling that cat's
jimmy: I'm not pulling his tail, I'm just
holding it and he is doing the pulling. I
A man named Dodgin was recently appoint-
ed foreman, but his name was not known to all
the men under him. One day, while on his
rounds, he came across two men sitting in a
corner smoking, and stopped near them. "Who
are you?" asked one of them.
"I'm Dodgin, the new foreman," he replied.
"So are we. Sit down and have a smoke."
Anxious Parent: My boy seems to be
getting a lot of zeroes. Isn't he trying enough?
Teacher: He's trying enough to put any
mortal in the infirmary.
Harold had been into the jam and his
mother, in reprimanding him, had suggested
that he think twice before doing wrong.
After the second offence he was asked if he
remembered the advice which had been given
"Certainly, mother," he replied, "I did think
twice. FirstI thought I wouldn't and then
I thoughtl would." X I
Teacher Cafter lesson on snowj: As we walk
upon a cold winter day, and look around, what
do we see on every hand?
Will the person who lost the cuff button
please lose the other one in the same place?
Pessimist: I haveonly one friend in the
world-my dog. -' . -'X , Q, ',-'-' Q
Optimist: Why don't youinget 'another d'og?
Tom Smith had fallen in a pond. A man
pulled him out and said, "Well, son, how did
you come to fall in the pond?"
"I didn't come to fall in," replied Tom.
"I came to fish."
"That man is so tight and stingy he
"That is nothing. I know a man so stingy
he keeps his screen door open in summertime
so he won't wear out the hingesf,
His Best Branch
Charley was, to put it mildly, "dumb" in
school. His first report was adorned with twenty
"demerits." When he carried this home to his
proud f?j mother, he handed it to her with the
remark, "Mother, the study I got highest in is
one I didnit know I was taking-its demmer-
To OUR PARENTS AND TEACHERSQ MAY
THEY NEVER MEET.
Miss Welch: If we taught Bolshevism in
schools what would we have in a few years?
Virgil Williams: Whiskers:
Heard on the Campus
Freshie: Say, what is that Yale fella's last
Second Freshie: "Why, isn't it Harvard or
something like that ?' '
Curiosity often makes folks do strange things.
apisdn siql uma, noA spew 1i asian siqn, ui ALMA
I In an Art Class
Teacher: Johnny, I know an artist who with
one sweep of the brush can change a smiling
face into a sorrowful one.
Johnny: Ol that's nothing. Ma's done
that to me lots of times. Ex.
Boy scout, to an old lady: May I accomp-
any you across the street?
Old lady: Certainly, sonny, how long have
you been waiting for some one to take you
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