Alton High School - Tatler Yearbook (Alton, IL) - Class of 1924 Page 1 of 134
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Show Hide text for 1924 volume ( OCR) Text from Pages 1 - 134 of the 1924 volume: “ DEDICATION
To Mr. J. E. MacWherter.
In appreciation of the school spirit he has manifested, his splendid coaching of our athletic teams and his interest and willingness to help in all school activities, we, the Tatler Board of 1924, respectfully dedicate this edition of the Tatler.E, the June class of 1925 and the February class of 1926, have added another volume of facts, fuo and fiction to the history of the school. It is mostly a book of facts. Yet they are not its only value. Without the fun and fiction, it could not serve its full purpose. The facts everyone will accept, the fiction will be enjoyed, but the fun does not always prove to be funny. However, we hope that no one will be offended by anything in the following pages. Our best efforts are within this volume. We have worked hard during the long winter evenings. Nevertheless, we will be recompensed if we can feel that in later years this , book will bring to you fond memories of school days at A. H. S.CONTENTS
Dedication - - - - 2
Foreword ----- 4
Tatler Staff ----- 6
Faculty ------ 7
Seniors - - - - - 15
Juniors ------ 37
Sophomores ----- 51
Freshmen ----- 55
Organizations - - - - 63
Athletics ------ 73
Calendar ----- 93
Ads ------- 99Now Stop! And do not turn the page Because you know these faces here,
Because you see them every day
And some of them you think you fear.
They’re everyone a friend to you They want to help you all to learn And underneath their hardened gaze And faces which they make so stern They’re really kind.
It hurts them when they “call you down”
Or bawl you out “for things you’ve done,”
You may not look at it like that,
But they all love you, everyone.
They do not like to hand to you
That bluish slip that makes you stay Long after all the rest have gone;
They make it easy as they may.
They hate it, too.
And so you should not skip this page,
But stop and look at them awhile;
And do not make a face at each,
But, rather give a smile for smile.
And think not of the harsh words said,
But just of times they’ve helped you out Of holes that seemed impossible.
That’s all that you should think about.
You really know they earn their wage,
So stop awhile then turn the page.
—J. McC., ’24.W. R. CURTIS, A. B., A. M.
(Columbia University), Superintendent.
“Education alone can conduct | us to that enjoyment which is, at once, best in quality and infinite in quantity.”
CAROLYN WEMPEN, A. B.
Algebra, Dean of Girls.
"A word to the wise is sufficient.”
BERTHA FERGUSON, A. B.
Algebra, Latin, Ass’t Principal.
“Knowledge is, indeed, that which, next to virtue, truly and essentially raises one man above another.”
BERTHA BISHOP, Ph. B„ A. M. (University of Chicago),
“Un bienfait n ’est jamais perdu.”
GEORGE RITCHER (Illinois State Normal),
"Thrift is in itself a good income.”
IRA OERTLI, B. S. (Northwestern University), Chemistry.
“Patience conquers all.”
VINOT CARTWRIGHT, A. B. (Shurtleff College),
LAURETTA PAUL, A. B.
“What ever is worth doing is worth doing well.”
NANCY LOWRY, A. B.
“Let us live, while we live.”
9R. V. SMITH
“I am a man; and I consider nothing that concerns mankind, a matter of indifference to me.”
FRIEDA PERRIN, A. B.
“Punctuality is the first rung on the ladder of success.”
BEULAH MULLINER, A. B„ A. M. (Cornell University)
“Better late than never.”
MARY MAGUIRE (Illinois University),
“Music is the universal language of mankind.”
MILDRED RUTLEDGE, Ph. B. (Shurtleff College),
“To widen your life without deepening it, is only to weaken it.”
COEINA McPHAIL, Ph. B.
“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”
(Central Normal University), Stenography, Typewriting.
“So long as that which might have been isn’t, why worry your head about it.”
VV. M. SCHAEFER
(Illinois State Normal),
“Every man is the architect of his own fortunes.”
IRENE DEGENHARDT (Illinois State Normal),
“I am glad I was up so late because that is why I am up so early.”
W. P. STALLING, B. S.
‘‘Labor overcomes all difficulties.”
ADA COLGATE, A. B.
“Esse quam videri.”
JENNIE CATES, A. B.
“ As the labor, so the reward.”
ALICE GATES, Ph. B.
“That goes without spying, which is understood.”
JOHN E. MacWHERTER, B. S.
“When our hopes break, let our patience hold.”
LOUIS PANCOK, B. S.
“From nothing, nothing is made and nothing that exists can be reduced to nothing.”
“Always gentle in manner, yet firm in reality.”
11BERNICE WILLIAMSON, A. B. (University of Illinois),
“A sunny disposition is half the battle.”
RICHARD WEISEP.T, A. M„ M. S. (Washington University),
“A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men.”
(University of Kansas),
“God helps them that help themselves.”
IRENE BURNETT, Ph. B. (Chicago University),
“Moderation is the best.”
GRACE MORRIS, A. B.
(University of Indiana),
“We are not born for ourselves alone.”
“Man never saw a duty beyond his strength.”
FRANK B. PEERS, A. B.
“Not only is there an art in knowing a thing, but also a certain art in teaching it.”
ELLA CLARK, B. S.
“Never leave until tomorrow7 what you can do today.”
12PRUDENCE CHAPPELL (Washington University), Commercial.
“When there’s a will there’s a way.”
RUSSELL SOUTHERLAND. A. B.
“No one can love and be wise at the same time.”
P. H. LYNCH, A. B.
(University of Iowa),
“He who is firm in will molds the world to himself.”
GLADYS GATES Stenographer.
“Daily matters are Ihe very highest.”
Lines of Cicero remind us,
We can make our lives sublime; And by asking silly questions, Take up all the teacher’s time.
He: “Where do you go this period?”
He: “I thought you took that last year.
She: “I did, but Mr. Peers encored me.”
Mildred Peters was giving a very dramatic reading in Public Speaking. She approached the tragic part, "Alas, alas, I am undone.”
Miss L (looking up quickly) : “Go on, it doesn't show.”
KIDDIE’S DAILY STORY
By Walter Schenke
“Please, Mr. Giraffe, what does your little baby giraffe eat?’’ said little Tommy.
Mr. and Mrs. Alton Hildebrande of La Jolla, Calif., who have been abroad since early in February, accompanied by their daughter, Miss Bernadette, will sail on May 5 for America.
Evelyn Waters Buck, favorite film star, will desert filmdom and enter the world of cartooning with her husband, Harry Buck, of the Godfrey Gazette.
LEAD OF MARY PARSONS FOR U. S. SENATE CHOICE GROWING.
Former Governess 4069 votes ahead of Frank Worden in complete returns from all but 13 precincts.
EMPRESS 2:15 8:15
Orval Prhen in
Big Bill Next Week.
NEW ADVERTISING SCHEME GREAT SUCCESS.
The Whiteside Drug Co. has tried a very successful plan of advertising. With every 50 cents purchase the patron is favored with a solo by the owner and manager, H. G. Whiteside. This scheme has proved extremely profitable and successful.
NOTED PRIM A DONNA TO SING FOR FREEZING ESKIMOS.
Miss Mary Louise Hughey, of the Chicago Opera Company, will leave shortly for Greenland to sing for the freezing Eskimos. Miss Hughey will appear for the last time in St. Louis tonight at the “Odeon.”
BEAUTY SECRETS BY OLGA FORS.
Dear Girls: I hope that you are all
becoming more beautiful. In answer to the letter from “Blue Eyes” I might say that a little blueing dropped in the eyes would help considerably.
Caldwell Hall East Alton, 111. Kindergarden Children 2 to 6 years of age.
Day School only.
For Catalog inquire of
Miss Myra Caldwell,
Box 4, East Alton.
FORMER WIFE OPPOSES FREEDOM FOR ALLEN HESKETT.
Unexpected Opposition Offered By Flora Adams.
Society circles were shocked today by the unexpected opposition offered by the dancer, etc.
TASWELL TOSSUP, OWNED BY MISS ALONZELLA BANTA, WINS FIRST PLACE AT NEW JERSEY DOG SHOW.
Nancy, youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Allan Dean, is ill at the family home in West Alton with a slight case of the mumps.
ARCHBISHOP HILDERBRAND TO SPEAK AT NEW CATHEDRAL.
Will Give Series of Lectures to Young Women.
A series of lectures will be given at the New Cathedral by Archbishop Hildebrand, etc.
PROF. WHITFIELD’S NEW BOOK, “LOVE IN A BOX CAR,” A HUGE SUCCESS.
Author Again Startles World of Fiction.
Beautiful sympathy for love is striking characteristic of new novel.
MLLE. CORBETT has issued invitations for the opening of her saloon of interior decoration at 4167 Fifth Ave., New York, N. Y„ May 4. 1945.
Mile. Corbett is considered the cleverest and most artistic decorator of Europe as well as America.
In next month’s issue of this magazine will appear cut outs for the kiddies by that famous artist, Miss Joyce Broom.
14tSENIORS February Class, 1924
PAUL VINE (“Paulie”)—
Basketball, ’23. '24.
Senior Play, ’24.
Class President, ’23.
Hi-Y Club, '23.
“He is a steam engine in trousers."
LORRAINE WILTON ("Shorty”)—
Football, ’21, ’23.
Student Council, '21.
Senior Play, ’24.
Kadio-Science Club, 22, ’23.
Hi-Y Club, ’22. ’23.
“From the crown of his head to the sole of this foot he is all mirth."
Field Day, ’20, ’21, ’23. May Day, ’22.
Tatler, '22. Sec’y-Treasurer, ’23. Senior Play, '24. Valedictorian, '24.
"The end crowns all.”
SPENCER CANTRILL (“Niger”) —
Football, 20, 21, ’22, ’23.
Basketball, ’21, ’22, ’23.
Track. ’20, ’21. ’22, ’23.
Student Council, ’22.
“Some are born great, same achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.”
Debate Club, ’22, ’23.
Senior Play, ’24.
“He hath, indeed, a good outward happiness.”
Science Club, ’22.
Rooters’ Club. ’21.
Field Day, f23.
May Day, ’22.
Senior Play, '24.
’’She is as merry as the day is long.”
Senior Play, ’24.
“Never trust to what my tongue can do.”
Senior Play, ’24.
‘‘I have no other but a woman’s reason: 1 think so because 1 think
PHILIP GISSAL (“Fissal”) —
Hi-Y Club. ’23. ’24.
Football. 23. ’24.
“Till all grace be in one woman, one woman shall not come in my grace.”
“A soft answer turneth away wrath.”
RALPH KOCH —
“A modest man never talks of himself.”
Senior Play, ’24.
“She is so simple, subtle, sweet.”
CHARLES LESSNER ("Pete”) —
Dramatic Club, ’23, ’24.
Consolidated Clubs, '23.
Glee Club, ’22, ’23, ’24.
Debate Club, ’22, ’23, ’24.
Senior Play, ’24.
“Nothing is impossible to one so industrious.”
EDWIN SCHWAB (“ED”) —
“He is a man of few words.”
“He is of a noble strain, of approved valor and confirmed honesty.”
Declamation Club, ’21.
Debate Club, ’22, ’23.
Dramatic Club, ’22, ’23.
Science Club, ’22, ’23. Consolidated Clubs, ’23.
Glee Club, ’23.
Hi-Y Club, ’23.
Senior Play, ’24.
“He wears the rose of youth.”
LEROY ARNOLD ("Bud”)—
Senior Play, ’24.
“When his mind becomes as big as his body, he will indeed be a giant among men.”
Miss Cartwright (translating Latin) : “Boy, where is your
Startled Pupil: “Here, under my coat, but I wasn’t using it.”
June Class, 1924
ALLAN DEAN (“Spike”)—
Class President. ’23, ’24.
Student Council. 23.
Track. ’23. 24.
“The aim. if reached or not, makes great the life.”
ROBERT TYNER (“Bobbie”)—
Vice-President Class, ’24.
Basketball. ’22, ’23. ’24.
Football. ’22, ’23.
Track. ’22. ’23.
Baseball. ’23, ’24.
"It is better to wear out than to rust out.”
May Day, ’21.
Student Council. ’23. Class Vice-President, '23. Class Secretary, ’24.
“As pure as a pearl and as perfect.’ALMYRA ALEXANDER—
Field Day, ’21.
May Fete, ’22, 23.
“She is as quiet as a mouse, but no trap has ever caught her.”
“But, oh, she dances suciFTi way! No sun upon an Easter day is half so fine a sight.”
MILDRED BARR (“Mid”)—
May Fete, ’21. ’22, ’23.
Basketball. ’21. ’23.
Rooters’ Club, ’21.
French Club, ’23.
“1 was born to speak all mirth and no matter.”
Junior Play, ’24.
“PJeauty hath its charms.”
“Nothing to say.”
HAZEL BOHLANDER (“Hazie”) —
Field Day, ’21.
May Fete, ’22, ’23.
“Health is the vital principle of bliss and exercise of health.”
Class President. ’23.
“What a strange thing is man and what a stranger is woman.”
Football. ’22. ’23.
Athletics is his middle name.
Field Day, ’21.
May Fete, ’22, ’23.
Girl Reserves, ’24.
“He is a fool who thinks by force or skill, to turn the current of a woman’s will.”
Field Day, ’21.
May Fete, ’22, ’23.
“Many receive advice, only the wise profit by it.’’
WILMA BUCK (“Buckie”) —
May Fete. ’21, ’22. ’23.
Rooters’ Club. ’21.
Freshman girls’ sponsor.
“Loyal, true and always kind.
Yet she frankly speaks her mind.”
“Fraility, they name is woman.”
MYRA CALDWELL (“Mike”) —
Field Day, ’21.
“My treasures are my friends.”
WILLIAM BURTON (“Possum”) —
Hl-Y 2 94
Debate ciub, ’23, ’24.
Boys’ Glee Club, ’22, ’23.
“(He doth, indeed, show some sparks that are like wit.”
EDWARD CARR (“Eddie”) —
“My beauty took a vacation, about the time of my creation.”
“A son who is the theme of honour’s tongue.”
21ANNA MARGARET COLE—
A quiet little miss.
HELEN CH RISTOE—
Field Day, 21.
May Day, '22, '23.
Hooters’ Club, '21.
Tin Soldier Dance, '24.
“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance."
VIRGINIA CORBETT (“Dede”)—
May Fete, '21, '22, '23.
"The hand that hath made her fair hath made her good."
"Pleasant thoughts make pleasant lives."
CHARLES DIETZ (“Dletzie")—
Glee Club, '22, '23.
Orchestra, '22, '23.
French Club, '24.
"As proper a man as one shall see."
Orchestra, '21, '22.
Class President, '22.
Hi-Y, '22, '23, '24.
"Where a man can live, there he can live well."
Field Day, '21.
May Fete, '22, '23.
"Holy, fair, and wise is she, that heaven such grace did lend her, that she might admired be."
"Beauty is but skin deep, common sense thicker’n a mile."
“His words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes.”
Dramatic Club, ’23.
May Fete, ’21, ’22. ’23.
“Mischief thou are afoot.”
“To smile is to drive the clouds away.”
Baseball, ’22, ’23, ’24. “Know thy opportunity.”
OLIVE GRABBE (“Olie”)—
May Fete. ’21.
Science Club, ’23, ’24.
“She is never sad but when she sleeps and not sad then.”
French Club, ’23.
“A blessed companion is a book.”
“When joy and duty crash, let duty go to smash.”
“Always neat but never gaudy.HARRY HILE—
Track, ’22, ’23.
“To be groat is to be misunderstood. I am misunderstood most of the time.”
MILDRED HENNY (“Bill”) —
“She is as frank as the rain on cherry blossoms.”
“Here’s a dear, a true industrious friend.”
GORDON HILDEBRAND (“Hilde”)—
Basketball, 21, ’22. 23.
All District Standing Guard, ’23. Football. ’21, '22, 23.
All Star Halfback, ’23.
Oh! Captain, ’20.
Class President, '22.
“Best men are molded out of faults.”
JAMES HULL (“Jim”) —
Sophomore Staff. ’23.
Debate Club, ’23.
Consolidated Clubs, ’23.
“On the tail of perseverance is tied success.”
“He that can have patience can have what he will.”
“I would rather have a fool to make me merry than experience to -make me sad.”
“Duty is the path that all may tread.”♦
ETHEL LESSNER (“Fatty") —
Field Day, 21.
May Fete. '22, ’23.
Radio Club. '22.
Better Speech Play, '21. "Laugh and be fat."
MILDRED LAWRENCE (“Ted")—
Field Day, '21.
May Fete. '22, '23.
“Man delights not me."
"One smile from her does the heart as much good as a quart of medicine."
MILDRED LIVELY (“Bob")—
Field Day. '21.
May Fete. '22, '23.
Rooters’ Club, '21.
“Life’s woes are lightened when thou smileth."
EVELYN McNEIL (“Ev")—
Student Council. '21.
Debate Club. '22. '23.
Secretary and Treasurer, '23.
"What ardently we wish, w'e soon believe."
“He will make rhymes wherever he goes.”
MAUDE McPH I LLIPS—
Junior Play, '23.
“Age cannot wither her."
LUCIA McPH I LLI PS—
"A college of wit crackers cannot flaut me of my humor."
Football, 21, '22.
“A mind of your own is worth more than four of those of your friends.”
WALTER SCHENKE (“Bud") —
Basketball. ’23, '24.
Baseball, '22, '23. '24.
Radio-Science Club, '23, 24. Debate Club, '23, '24.
Hi-Y Club, '22. '23, '24. President Hi-Y.
Tatler Staff, '23.
Student Councl, '22. Secretary-Treasurer Class, '23. “A lion among the ladies."
FLORENCE SHORT (“Shortie")—
“Brevity is the soul of wit."
Tennis Team, '24.
“Bully your inferior and jolly your superiors."
FRANKLIN SMITH (“Frank") —
“Everything handsome about him.”
Hi-Y Club, '23.
Science Club, '23.
Consolidated Clubs, '23.
“Life is as tedious as a twice told tale."
MARIAN TEACHOUT (“Teachle")—
“This is the flower that smiles on everyone."
May Fete, '22, '23.
“A virtuous gentlewoman, mild and beautiful."
Field Day, '21.
Girl Reserves, ’21.
Rooters’ Club, 21.
Science Club, '23.
“One hour of sleep before midnight is worth three after.
MELBA TOUPNO ("Metz")—
Rooters’ Club, 21.
“Make haste slowly.
“He loves to hear himself talk.’
May Fete. ’21, ’22, 23.
Rooters’ Club, 21.
French Club. 23.
“It is good to be merry and wise.’
ALEXANDER WHITFIELD (“Alex")—
“He is a scholar.’
HOWARD WHITESIDE (“Dolly")—
“Enough— tis she! Tis all I seek.
“He is always swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath.’
MARK WILLIAMS (“Lead")—
Radio-Science Club, 22, ’23.
Dramatic Club, ’22.
Christmas Play, 22.
“The soul of this man is his clothes.’
RAYMOND MONTGOMERY (“Montie”)-
Junior Play. ’23.
Science Club. 23. ’24.
Student Council, ’23.
“Wisdom is better than rubies.’’
BERNADETTE MERKLE (“Bernie”)—
Junior Piay, ’23.
Basketball. ’20. ’21.
May Day. ’21. ’22, ’23.
“Let me have men about me.”
“Think not I am what I appear.”
“For solitude sometimes is best society.’’
May Fete. ’21. ’23.
High School Club.
“Alack! There lies more peril in thine eyes, than in twenty swords.”
CLIFFORD PAUL (“Clif”)—
Tatler Board, 23.
“He who finds my purse finds trash.’’
“Speech is silver, silence is golden.”
WILMA QUICKERT (“Willie”) —
Science Club, ’23.
Rooters’ Club, ’21.
“The man that hath a tongue, I say. is no man, if with his tongue he can not win a woman.”
‘‘1 am here; I shall stay here.”
"Rut pearls are fair: and the old saying is ‘Black men are pearls in beauteous lady's eyes'.”
PAUL WINKLER (“Speed”)—
Track, '22, '23, '24.
Hi-Y. '23. '24.
Cheer Reader, 23, '24.
“One who is ever up and doing.”
Out-of-town Visitor: “How many students are studying ,n
your high school this year?”
Mr. Wheeler: “About half of them.”
Teacher: “Who comes after the President in case of death.
Pupil: “The undertaker.”
Abmer Barr: “How long can a person live without brains." Miss Colgate: "I really don’t know. How long have you lived?”
29Seniors, February Class, 1925
French Club. ’23.
Dramatic Club, ’23.
May Fete, ’21, ’22, ’23.
“So turns she every man wrong.
“Where there is no hope there can be no endeavor.
As a mighty football player.
He’s won a lot of fame;
Tho’ a member of the Tatler board, He lives for the football game.
A member of the Tatler board;
A busy one indeed.
Also, quite a football player,
And a friend, when you’re in need.
REGINALD BOYD (“Regie”) —
Football, ’22, ’23.
Track, ’22, ’23.
“The ladies call him sweet.”
“Ever willing to help one in need.”
“They are never alone that are ac companied with noble thoughts.”
HAROLD BUG (“Bugs”)—
Junior Play, 23.
Radio-Science Club, 23.
“Every day in every way he is getting brighter and brighter.”
ETHEL CULP (“Peggy”) —
French Club, '23.
“He is well paid that is well satisfied.”
“The joyfulness of man prolongeth his days.”
“To keep falling in love is the secret of perpetual youth.”
Editor of Sophomore. ’22.
Dramatic Club. '23.
Debate Club. ’23, ’24.
“All things I thought I knew, but now confess, the more 1 know I know, I know the less.”
“I think, therefore I exist.”
‘ They say this lady is fair, 'tis a truth.”
“The most certain sign of wisdom is a continual cheerfulness.”
“A man who blushes is not quite a brute.”
31ROBERT LULV (“Fat")—
Dramatic Club, ’23.
Debate Club, '23. '24.
Glee Club, '23. '24.
Radio-Science Club. ’22. ’23, '24. Consolidated Clubs, 23.
Hi-Y, '23, '24.
"O that your face was not so full
.Junior Play, '23.
4‘The fashion is the fashion."
ADELE OETKINS (“Dell") —
Dramatic Club, '23.
May Fete, '23.
French Club, '23.
‘‘Persistence will get you any where, if you use enough of it."
“ ’Tis pleasant sure, to see one’s name in print."
"It’s easy finding reasons why other folks should be patient."
"A daughter of the gods, divinely tall, and most divinely fair."
‘‘As the labor so the reward."
LOUIS PETERSON —
‘‘Who are a little wise the best fools be."
“Fair words never hurt the tongue.”
WILLIAM RAITH (“Bill”)—
“He says a thousand pleasant things—But never says ‘Adieu’.”
“All one’s life is music if one touches the notes rightly and in time.”
“Youth comes only once in a life time.”
“I am all the daughters of my father’s house.”
“Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be.”
HELEN KOCH —
“This life is not for complaint, but for satisfaction.”
“How forceable are right words.”
“It lies in our power to attune the mind to cheerfulness.”
SIDNEY WITTLES (“Sid”) —
“If I labor to be brief I become obscure.”
“Everything comes if a man will only wait.”
ARMOUR F A R IS—
“Modesty is enthroned upon his brow.”
“Young man, I look upon you as a rascal.'’
“You are privileged to look upon me in any character you wish to assume.”
You can lead a horse to water,
But you can’t make him drink.
You can send a boy to High School, But you can’t make him think.
Aileen Dick: “My father is the best writer I know.”
Frank Budde: “What has he written?”
“Them Days is Gone Forever”
Age is boresome, I must admit, but still it does not hinder me from enjoying a trip now and then to my hunting lodge in the pines of Northern Maine. These trips calm my worn nerves and give me the desired time in which to recuperate my brain power and prepare for my return to the grind of the city. One cannot imagine how my kind of work runs one down.
As I track the fox to its den and sometimes the wolf, I feel as though, once again, I might track my youth and recapture it. hunt with increased vigor, growing breathless at the sight of a new track, leaping with joy upon finding the den, but my heart sinks when I discover that the scent is false and that in all probability my hope for regaining my youth is lost.
Young people cannot begin to realize the marvelous opportunities which are forever open to youth. It is when they become as aged as I that the}' are confronted with the fact that the meat of their life has been wasted and all that remains is the bone. But whether or not they may become young again and taste the sweets of life once more, it is still possible to see again the scenes of childhood through the eyes of memory; a vision which is so precious that to view it through curious eyes would be a sacrilege. Those eyes must be loving.
All the scenes of my childhood school-life return to me vividly: the assembly room where so many giggling, lop-eared, sparkling-eyed students are gathered for the purposes of shooting paper wads and whispering; the office where the guilty one stands before the high desk, flushing like a beet and wriggling his ears to the intense amusement of a small bright faced woman behind the gate; the class rooms where in the back row sits some vagrant lad who (you can tell by the twinkle in his eye) is thinking up mischief with which to annoy the prim little lady who sits in front of him. He finally decides upon the unique plan of tying the belt of her dress to the desk. This done he waits for the pleasing results. Just as he had surmised. She has decided to tell all that she knows to the teacher who is sitting behind her desk like a patriarch. The prim young lady arises. She immediately sits. She tries again. This time she discovers the cause of her failure to stand and getting her freedom with much difficulty (the boy had tied four knots in the belt) she pounces upon the boy on the other side of her and rashly accuses him of being the culprit. And so the battle began.
35In the geometry class someone has drawn upon the blackboard a striking picture of some unfortunate classmate. I will not attempt to reproduce it.
Let us pass from the individuals of the school to th most important classes, namely, the freshmen, sophomores, juniors, and seniors.
The freshmen are always a source of amusement for the higher classmen. The basjifulness, the marked timidity with which they conduct themselves, causes the sophomores to thank their holy stars that they are no longer “freshies.” Is it possible, you say, for these timid frightened “greenies” to become bold, boisterous sophomores? They do! and it takes only one day to transform those poor little innocents into wicked, wicked sophies!
They are now constant visitors to the office and they are personally acquainted with the principal and many other authorities. They assume the most confident airs and are hard foes to meet with. But within a year they are transformed into juniors. (That is if they have been good.) All the failures and faults disappear with this transformation.
The change is remarkable. All the greenness has melted away, all the boldness has been dissolved by the solution of discipline and experience, and now we have in the process of refining experienced and worldly-wise juniors. The juniors are like the growth of fruit; they are not too green and they are not too ripe. They are well seasoned and the pride of the school.
The fourth year welcomes these fine fruits of education with open arms and the junior is turned into a very ripe fruit called a senior. My! how they do shine in their zenith and it is when they shine the brightest that they drop from the tree of education and roll into the field of life where their seeds are sown and bear fruit according to the cultivation of the parent fruit.
L. A. S., ’25.
Farmer: “See what fine apples I get by my industry.”
Small Boy: “Huh. I get the same by moonlight.”
Mr. Stalling to Nancy Benedict in Geometry Class: “Nancy,
you’ll have to change your figure.”
Miss Morris: “Will some one give an illustration of the dif-
ference between vision and sights?”
Voice from the rear: “Well, some girls are visions and others
Juniors, June Class, 1925
LCUISE B EISE R—
“Happy-go-Lucky”— Those are my words. Why should I worry When 1 have my Ford.
A member of the Tatler Board,
A shiek of Alton High;
With curly hair and vamping smile, For dates (?) he n "'er has to sigh.
Now here’s another artist Whose talent will be shown,
When he sketches for Tatler, and, Then he’ll be renowned.
LAVERNE BROKAW— K?„
Of friends I have many;,.
Of foes, 1 have some. 4 7
But there’s a friend (M. C.) of the many
Whom a foe she’ll never become.
MARY E. COLLINGS—
I chatter, chatter all day long; My tongue, it ceaseth never.
Time may come and time may go, But it goes on forever.
Happy as a lark,
Busy as a bee;
Best pal you can ever have, Try it—you’ll agree.
NELLIE COULSON —
“Children should be seen, not heard,” Is the motto of this lassie.
She never shows a “gift of gab,” And she’s never, never sassy.
If you should search the whole world o’er,
1 know, no matter where you’d look, You’ll find no one you’ll like so well As this young maiden, Francis Cooke.
If all boys were like Robert.
A funny school this would be. There’d be nothing but fun and smiling,
From 8:30 to 3:33.
Everyone knows her,
This blue-eyed lass;
She’s a member of the Tatler Board, But is never (?) late to class.
Oh, yes, she is a lovely lass. Where will go her glances?
Oh. who will be the lucky lad With whom this maiden dances?
She always studies from morn ’till night.
For she knows she has to pass;
Ajid her lessons surely show it.
She’s at the head of every class.
We all love a pretty painting. We don’t care nor understand Whether it’s done by nature Or whether it’s done by hand.
MARY L. GISSAL—
She has such winning ways; President of the Tatler Board, So is working all these days.
This boy is quite the well-known “berries,”
He’s smart in all (?) his classes;
And at the end of each school year You can be sure he passes.
It’s everyone that likes a smile Upon a girl once in a while;
And that explains to you the cause Why everyone likes Helen Haas.
; 9LILLIAN LEWIS—
I do not care for Springfield, 111., Nor that old town called Louisville, Nor e’en St. Louis—just let me fly, And I’ll spend my days in Alton Hi.
They say he’s quite an artist. So to live up to his name, He’s drawing for the Tatler. Now isn’t that real fame?
Is life worth living? Yes, so long As we pass in all our classes;
But when we flunk, we feel as if We’d like to “leave” our classes.
KATHERINE MacDE RMOTT—
We girls are like candle flames, We’re true while all is fair;
But we’re swayed by every passing gust
Of foolish, fickle air.
Of course she likes to smile a lot. And sometimes blinks a “wicked lamp”:
And though she isn’t any stick. She’s not what you could call a vamp.
If you don’t know this maiden, Then T will have to state.
I think you must be sleeping, You sure are out of date.
Lesle’s just the nicest lad That Alton High has ever had. Though a member of the Tatler Board He never complains or says a word.
Kollo is a quiet boy Who rarely makes a noise;
He always hears what the teachers say,
Which is more than can be said of most boys.
MARY H. JONES—
Those funny frantic feelings That strike me in the Spring;
They bring back thoughts of pleasure That long have taken wing.
With a smile she always greets you. With a smile she says adieu;
A better friend you cannot find—
1 wouldn’t want to, would you?
JESSIE M c N EI L—
I’ll walk, but not in old heroic traces, And not in paths of high morality, And not among the half-distinguished faces,
The clouded forms of long-past history.
A form more fair, A face more sweet, Never has it been Our lot to meet.
Basketball, football, baseball, track. He keeps in touch with “Johnnie Mac.”
An athlete and a scholar, too,
His name keeps him from feeling blue.”
Old Alton High upon this land Just can't be called wonderful, great or grand;
But when compared to old St. L., This good old school suits me very well.
He didn’t know so much at first,
But he arrived all right.
At center he surely knocked ’em dead,
For “Snuggles” has the fight.
She is. indeed, a quiet girl, This maid who no one fears; And she is considered bright By people far and near.
How many Tatlers will be left Without a picture for this space? How many knives will cut it out To frame it in another place?
A rumor’s going: ’round the school, But maybe its a “fluke,”
I’ve heard it said that this young maid
Is deep in love with Luke.
Most every night a mean old bird Sits out here in our tree And screams and screams, “Who’s failing? Who? Who?”
Till I call back, “Not me.”
There’s lots of boys in Alton Hi Who think a lot of Ann.
And there’s a lot of fellows, too, Who’d like to be her man.
If this young man grows up to be An actor on the stage,
As “Captain Sharp,” you will agree 'I hat he’ll be quite the rage.
“Perfect ladies” like Miss Helen Are surely hard to find;
But when it comes to acting, Helen’s quite a “■master mind.”
Now this girl is surely attractive— All boys say that she’s a peach.
But when she’s in “Public Speaking,” How she hates to make a speech.
He always gets here right on time, And never missed a day.
If you don’t believe this, then all right.
It’s not true anyway.
LEROY SWAIN —
What’s hard for others To him is fun,
For he gets all his lessons, Yes, yes, every (?) one.
Work while you work.
And play while you play, You ask Virginia If this isn’t her way.
A little music.
Now and then.
Is relished by The best of men.
I’ve heard it said That “Ferns” are green. But there’s exceptions.
As you’ve seen.
If with “Art” you’re not acquainted. Then you’re due to get a treat;
I will say that when you know him. “Art’s” a friend that’s hard to beat.
CHARLIE SCORES Madge: “So Charlie is teaching you how to play baseball?
Howard: “Yes, and when I asked him what a squeeze play
was, 1 think he put one over on me.”
43Juniors, February Class, 1926
“Small but mighty”—
The old saying goes;
So you’d better take care Or she’ll step on your toes.
Oh, Fortune is a fickle maid.
Of whimsey and romances,
’Tis very hard to tell to-day,
Just where will go her glances.
Here’s to the girl who pores o’er her books,
Here's to the girl who dances, Here's to the maiden coy and sweet, Who fetters your heart with her glances, glances.
AMANDA BRUNNWORTH —
Lessons make me weary.
As does the signal with its gong; Such things should be stopped.
For it’s wrong, all wrong.
MARIE CH RISTOE—
If you don’t know, then go and meet This little girl so nice and sweet; You’ll say she’s a peach, so I guess so, They all say that ’bout Marie ( hrls-toe.
I want to be a painter And before a canvas stand, A cap upon my forehead,
A paint brush in my hand.
CLARA EISENREICH —
She is the possessor Of two starry eyes: Within whose depths Future happiness lies.
She’s got it.
She’ll keep it.
Won’t lose it—
Though often rebuked yet back turning
To those first feelings that were born with me And leaving busy chase of truth and learning
For idle dreams of things that cannot be.
She soothes our beating hearts with music
They route for her like fury;
She’ll earn her fame in Illinois And sport it in Missouri.
When I was up at High School, I’ll tell you what I saw,
I saw a pretty maiden.
Whose name was Edith Shaw.
LEAH SMITH —
She is very studious;
She’s afraid she won t know it all She’s always, always, studying.
In summer, spring, and fall.
There is a mystery ’bout this boy That cannot be found out;
The question is, “What’s in that bag That John lugs all about?”
“Gerry. Gerry.’’ quite contrary.
How do your studies go.
With Algebra. English, Latin and French,
And little “A’s” all in a row.
A smarter girl you’ll never find.
Especially in French;
She knows the book from “A to Z. You can’t fool her—that’s a cinch.
We didn’t know she was an actress Until we saw the Junior Play; But we know it now. and, also She will be a star some day.
Fate works in a mysterious way.
Its little tricks to do,
She is a girl with a happy smile. And was never known to be blue.
Tall and slim.
Never lacks That so-called “vim
Some people never give applause But constantly are scolding;
But there’s exceptions to the rule, And one is Alice Goulding.
Girls will be girls.
As everyone knows; Why I’d even tread On the Faculty’s toes.
“As smart as a whip,” As bright as a dollar, A winsome girl,
A brilliant scholar.
The past is gone, the present’s here— The only time that’s ours;
Let us not spend too much of it In leafy “shady bowers.”
No! No! Dora, don’t laugh all the time, dear;
No! No! Dora, it’s wasting your time, dear;
Will laughing pass you in your classes?
No! No! Dora—No! No!
She’s quite an elocutionist. She’ll be famous far and wide; In a castle she will live.
In splendor she will ride.
I wrote to Nita Naldi And to Barbara La Marr,
To tell them that they’ll lose their jobs
When “Viv” becomes a star.
MARY HELEN FOULDS-
1 have learned about a secret That I’ll write upon this page; It is “Toodies” chief ambition To be an actress on the stage.
Everybody knows “Kernel,” Everyone likes him, too;
And it’s surely most foul weather When you find him feeling blue.
Little maiden, wondrous wise, Treasured dreams lie in your eyes; Vainest fancies, yet so fair.
Lurk beneath your sweet bobbed hair.
This darling little maiden.
Whose eyes are bright as gold. Is as cheerful as a bobolink Whose secrets are untold.
FRANK BU DDE—
I have a startling thing to tell About this handsome “shiek;”
» One time he came and didn’t miss A day, for one whole week!
His sister called him Willie,
His mother called him Will,
But when he went to High School, To dad ’twas Bill. Bill, Bill!
If wishes were autos.
Then surely I’d ride;
I’d have every girl Sitting right by my side.
“Silence is Golden,”
We’ve heard some folks say. But we guess that Clarence Don’t see it ‘.hat way.
Prettiest Moreland Hoehn
Fluffiest Stoutest Shyest Most Carefree Most Accommodating Virginia Lvnn Carlos Kirk Susan Vedder Helen Tremmel Dolores Burjes
Tidiest Lee Broome
Most Vampiric Most Studious Boy Nancy Benedict Walter Mikesh
Most Studious Girl Virginia Olive
Worst Heart Breaker William Burt
Yellowest Harold Schwaab
Loudest Norma Humphrey
Most Cheerful Kathryn O’Neil
Liveliest Alice Young
Most Vivacious Mildred Peiper
Tiniest Mary K. Cousley
Quietest Jazziest Ella Mae Evers Edgar Tipton
Comicalest Sarah Modes
Silliest James Malcolm
Dullest Harry Duecker
Laziest Milton Frye
Longest Hair Mary E. Ahe
Fairest Boy Harry Dickinson
Fairest Girl Kathrvn Berner
Sweetest Alice Logan
Most Independent Harriet Neff
Cutest ... Erma Vogelpohl
Most Sarcastic Helen Gothardt
Tallest _ Earl Hair
Windiest Most Ambitious , Carl Yeakel Lyman Dunn
Peppiest Jack Gerdes
I I Sleepiest Wisest Harold Montgomery
Most Pleasant Laverne Zaugg
Greenest Aubrey Holloway
Most Braggart Paul Glassbrenner
Most Religious Herman Bunvan
Most Affectionate Frieda Gnerich
Thinnest Norma Peak
Best Singer Robert Harlowe
Classiest Stewart Beatty
Greatest Radio Bug Lenard Greding
Most All Around Girl Carmen Curvev
Oldest Child of Henry........
Best Story Teller............
Best Blonde Type.............
Best Clinging Vine Type......
.........Simon P. Cole
49AN IF FOR US.
If you arc late as regular as the sunrise,
And never, never have a good excuse;
If you can laugh at kids who get here early,
And for smart students haven’t any use,
If you can make your teacher think you study,
While really knowing barely just enough ;
If you can gab and gab and change the subject,
And always are an expert at the bluff,
If you don’t give a ding for regulations,
Delight in breaking every little rule;
If you don’t think a thing ’bout athletics,
And haven’t any spirit for your school,
If you can go to sleep, when all about you Are working up there in the study hall;
If you can keep the teachers very friendly,
And, always knowing not, at least can stall.
If you can throw with deadly aim erasers,
Are expert flinging paper wads and chalk;
If you can drop your voice into a whisper,
When told by cranky teachers not to talk,
If you can slide and slip out of tenth hours,
And take an afternoon off now and then ;
If you can make a “D” in classes daily,
And seldom on a test get more than ten,
If you get slips that say that you are flunking,
And they can make you worry, not a bit;
If you’re so lazy you’re not fond of walking,
Would t"ffher keep the seat wherein you sit,
If you can get permission for the library.
To get a book for English it would seem ;
If you can bring, instead of Scott or Poe or Dickens, Back to your seat the latest magazine,
It you can do all these things I have mentioned,
Then doff your cap and make your little bow,
And leave us flat—because we do not want you,
We have enough of your kind here right now.
—J. M. C., ’24.
50SOPHOMORES June Class, 1926
Irene Jenkins Marie Cichlar Alberta Andrews Helen Tremmel Mary Esther Ahe Corinne Gideon Ruby Bryant Geraldine Waltrip
Eunice Clevenger Moreland Hoehn Carl Yaekel Helen Gotthardt Harold Montgomery Dolores Burjes Susan Vedder
Richard Lehne Charles Schaefer Walter Mikesk Robert Harlow Edward Stobbs
Stranger: “Why didn’t you arrest that fellow who just drove his flivver up the wrong side of the street?”
Constable: “An’ have me get his meajs for him for a week? No, sir; I know that feller—he won’t pay fines.”
52June Class, 1926
Willard Sears James Malcolm Stewart Beatty Everly Terry Alice Logan Sarah Modes
Virginia Lynn Ruth Calame Kathleen Hummert Marie Vogel Harriett Neff Mildred Maupin
Ella Mae Evers Mary E. Cousley Alexander Koch William Burt Erma Vogelpohl Alice Young Carmen Curvey
I’LL SAY IT WAS
She was so innocent! Jack had taken her riding in his car, and just as he kissed her a tire blew out.
“Oh, Jack,” she murmured. “How lucky that we didn’t stav at home! Father is such a light sleeper.”
53February Class, 1927
Elsie Roberts Alice Nicholas Frieda Medhurst Helen Misegades Perry Edsall Mary Lessner Helen Reed
Helen Turner Martha Grady Myra Chappee Virginia Weil Lucille Lehmkuhl Alice Russell
Warren Faris Nellie Dietschy Opal Foster Lavern Fichtel Frieda Generick Matilda Wiseman Donald Malcolm
SILLY CHILD The young girl has refused the millionaire who was twice her age, and he was very angry.
“Even Cupid,’’ he said, “could not do anything with you. You’re like an iceberg. Why, a hundred Cupids might shoot at vou all day long and not one of them would make any impression on your stone-cold heart.’’
“But not if they used an old beau,” retorted the girl.
FRESHMEN June Class, 1927
Nelson McBrien Floyd West Clarence Stahl Jack Hesket Melvin Gent Edgar Cook Nellie Richey Cordelia Kelly Gertrude Haight
Anna Shepard Alice Gaither Pauline Stiritz Bessie Ash Herlinda Rios Louis Beall Lucille Wheeler Louise Schwab Cele$tine Noblitt
Margaret Voss Ruth Howard Elsworth McManus Lina Joesting Carls Fors Geraldine McKinney Gordon Kerr Edith Hankin Wurt Johnston
56June Class, 1927
Marion Kaiser Roy Grace Leroy Conners Herman Oehler William Miller Josephine Curdie Nina Williams Gladys Johnston Ruth McPhillips Benjamin Byford
Adele Busse Viola Eisenreich Ellen Pfeiffer Dorothy Manns Irine Schwab Nelson Laird Lucille Karns Ernest Smith Helen Doyle Joy Coleman
Harriet Christoe Lucille Wenzel Eva Stork Virginia Sawyer Grace Walker Josephine Weingand Edna Wuellner Francis Eberlin Mary Furlong
“The weather man has resigned.”
“Yes, the climate didn’t agree with him.”
57February Class, 1928
Lloyd Cox Mather Luly Marie Brunnworth Gerald Schauerte Louis Jones Allyn Brandt Elva Williamson Mary Esther Reed
Kathrine Haberer Harriet Butler Mary Lawless Thelma Gent Ida Miller Melba Jones Alma Elwood Lawrence Hunt
Mary Esther Sparks Esther Clevenger Marie Parker Charlotte Mohr Bernice Fry Lydia Rain Helen Weishaupt Gordon Gerard Orval Thiese
She: “I think sheep are so stupid, don’t you? He: “Yes, my lamb.”
58Study Hall, September 20, 1923.
It has been such a long time since I have written to you, that I have just loads of news. It is mostly High School news, as you asked for that.
We started to school on a Tuesday, but by my luck it could have been Friday very easily. To be sure to get there on time I got up early and did the dishes before breakfast. After debating for the fiftieth time that week what dress to wear I finally got ready. My, such hurrying! I reached the dear old A. H. S. just about an hour and a half too soon. (Oh, for some of that time now.) To pass the time away I strolled up and down the corridors. Pretty soon I saw a cage full of animals (they were alT dead though). There was just the prettiest green duck in one of the cases. 1 stopped to look at it and some Sophomore came up. After asking lots of unnecessary questions, she noticed the green duck. Pretty soon I said, “I just admire that duck. The coloring is so beautiful, I wish I could be one.” “Don’t worry,” assured the wise Soph, “you’re a green goose and that’s the next thing to it.” I don’t think that was one bit funny, do you? The crowd began to wander towards the office. I followed. Soon I heard Miss Ferguson’s voice above the hubub saying, “All those who haven’t registered, come in here; others please go elsewhere.”
I went in. She knows me and said, “Frances, you have registered, have you not?” “No, mam,” I politely replied. “Why, I am sure you have, Frances.” “Oh no, mam, I haven’t even touched a pen today.” I was positive I hadn’t registered. Miss Ferguson looked surprised, “A pen!”, she echoed. “Why, yes, a pen, of course. Don’t you do like you would in a hotel? That is, I mean register in a big book at the desk ?” I was quite surprised. “No,” explained the gracious lady, “you have already signed up to come to High School. This you did at Lincoln without knowing it.” I blinked three or four times and proceeded to go elsewhere with cheeks like ripe tomatoes. I certainly wished I were that duck. After awhile we were straightened out in our classes.
Two of my teachers have short hair. One is my gym teacher and the other is a man.
I get good grades in Science ’cause daddy’s so big that Mr. Wiesert’s afraid of him. Wish all my teachers were men.
Our teachers use the funniest writing paper. It is blue and usually makes one blue to get a note on it. They call them tenth hour slips. Let’s hope all of them slip by me.
My Latin teacher sings at our church and when I hear her singing so sweetly on Sundays I wonder how that same voice on week days can fill me with such fear.
Saturday I went to a football game. I don’t see anything interesting in it at all. Why, all they do is just plaster each other up with mud. Those boys didn’t show one bit of sense for they continually kicked that ball from one end of the field to the other. I expected it to burst any minute. My! but those boys were sure dirty. I wonder if the scrub team had to wash them off. I feel sorry for them, but I guess that’s their job.
Frances. G. L. H., ’27.
59O HONOR ROLLS O
Second Semester, 1922-1923
4-2 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Bittick, James Freeman, Letitia O’Neill, Margaret
Colonius, Dorothy Hunt, Grace Parker, Robert
Elwell, Hewitt Leech, Virginia Raith, Rosena
Fecht, Edith McGaughey, Hattie Scovell, Alice
Bennett, Eleanor Jackson, Hope Richardson, Louis
Brown, Lora Tohler, Helen Smith, Gordon
Clevenger, Marie McBrien, Roger Whitney, Ann
Droste, Alma Megowen, Dorothy Wilder, Margaret
Hopkins, Richard Merkle, Virginia
4-1 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Alexander, Almvra Duffey, Thelma Schreiber, Alice
Bauer, Edna Gerson, Alice Whitfield, Alexander
Connor, Marie Merkle, Bernadette
Gissal, Philip Knapp, Pauline Smith, Ethel
3-2 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Brown, Elsie Ilenney, Mildred O’Neill, Mary
Adams, Flora Meyer, Lester Christoe, Helen
Koch, Virginia Brown, Harold Lively, Mildred
Logan, Esther Bown, Helen
3-1 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Burton, William Dennison, William Willoughby, Rose
Cole, Anna Lessner, Charles Howard, Florence
Black, Harriet Cousley, Paul Fors, Olga
Buck, Wilma Faris, Armour Quickert, Erwin Harlow, Thomas
2-2 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Clark, Coralice George, Elizabeth Oetken, Adele
Fessler, Inez Gissall, Mary Louise Rausch, Alverna
Culp, Ethel Hull, James Peters, Mildred Maus, Marian
2-1 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Fedderson, Ella Harris, Beulah Scovell, Allan
Haberer, Caroline Rickerman, Herman
Henry, Delphine Sondles, Geraldine Stevenson, Lois
Lessner, Opal Stamper, Dorothy Tuemmler, Fred
1-2 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Gideon, Corinne Horn, Adelaide Rickerman, Bernard Olive, Virginia
Benedict, Nancy Dunn, Lyman Kirk, Carlos
Calame, Ruth Goodnight, Jewell Maupin, Mildred
Clower, Margaret Harlow, Robert Montgomery, Harold
Draper, Russell Howard, Mildred Vogelpohl, Irma
1-1 CLASS—HIGH HONOR
Grady, Martha Powell,Virginia
Abraham, Jean Fischer, Roy Park, Irene
Brown, Lucille Jacoby, Merle Patterson, Louise
Doyle, Geraldine Osipe, Sadie Weil, Virginia Turner, Helen
60 First Semester, 192.3-1924
Adams, Flora Brown, Elsie Buck, Wilma
Alexander, Almyra Burton, William Connor, Marie Corbett, Virginia
Bowman, Mary Esther Culp, Ethel
Bug, Pauline Coulson, Nellie
Brokaw, Laverne McNeil, Jessie
4-2 CLASS—(20 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Heskett, Allan Lessner, Charles
4-2 CLASS—(20 PUPILS)—HONOR Duffey, Thelma CLASS—(85 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Christoe, Helen O’Neill, Mary
Heskett, Allan Smith, Franklin
Montgomery, Raymond Whitfield, Alex.
CLASS—(85 PUPILS)—HONOR Cousley, Paul McNeil, Louella
Dean, Allan Merkle, Bernadette
Koch, Virginia Smith, Ethel
3-2 CLASS—(52 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Fessler, Inez Oetken, Adele
CLASS—(52 PUPILS)—HONOR Harlowe, Thomas Scovell, Allan
Rausch, Alverna Worden, Fred
Cole, Anna Margaret
3-1 CLASS—(70 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Flack, Mary Harris, Beulah
Gissal, Mary Louise Maus, Marian
Oliver, Dale Poore, Lucille
Peters, Mildred Stevenson, Lois
2-2 CLASS—(58 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Fedderson, Ella Haberer, Caroline
Horn, Adelaide Lessner, Opal
2-2 CLASS—(58 PUPILS)—HONOR
Rice, Dorothy Stamper, Dorothy
2-1 CLASS—(102 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Gideon, Corrine Olive, Virginia
2-1 CLASS—(102 PUPILS)—HONOR Ahe, Mary Esther Dunn, Lyman O’Neill, Kathryn
Benedict, Nancy Harlowe, Robert Rickerman, Bernard
Cichlar, Maine Hoehn, Moreland Schaefer, Charles
Clower, Margaret Maupin, Mildred Wehrle, Sylvia
Cousley, Mary Esther Mikesh, Walter
1-2 CLASS—(90 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Edsall, Perry Grady, Martha
Powell, Virginia 1-2 CLASS—(90 PUPILS)—HONOR
Foster, Opal Harris, Blanche
Osipe, Sadie 1 CLASS—(170 PUPILS)—HIGH HONOR
Haight, Gertrude Noble, Mildred
Keene, Elizabeth Oehler, Herman
Kerr, Gordon Watts, Ramona
1-1 CLASS—(170 PUPILS)—HONOR
Joesting, Lina Pacevicz, Victor
Laird, Nelson Walker, Emily
Logan, Jorn Wheeler, Lucille
Means, Henrietta McKinney, Geraldine
Eberlein, Frances Fundell, Leona Grigsby, Thomas
Carr, Earl Christoe, Harriet Close, Paul Furlong, Mary
61A. H. S’S. MARKET
Our Biggest Prune___________________
Our Deadest Beet....................
The Most Seen Pear..................
The Apple of Our Eye................
A Regular Deer.......:..............
Our Meekest Lamb....................
The Dillest Pickle............ _....
Our Poor Fish.......................
Our Pineapple of Politeness.........
Our Most Cheerful Cherry.............
The Biggest Goose...................
Our Greenest Gooseberry.............
Our Mushiest Mellon.................
Our Coolest Cucumber................
Our Carrot Top......................
----------- Walter Schenke
j Miss Yoxal ( Mr. Sutherland
--------------- Olga Fors
__________ Helen Weishop
........... Sunny Cook
— ...... ...Charles Dietz
— ...—.....Wilma Buck
I (Harry Steck I Abner Barr
....... Ellen Pfeiffer
Two of Our P’s...............................
The School’s String Bean.....................
Our Puckriest Persimmon......................
The Brains of the School.....................
The Most Frequent Date..................... _
The Most Frequent Detention Room Turnip.......
The Brighest Banana..........................
Paul Cousley Virginia Powell
j Virginia Kock j Dolly Whiteside
“Want a ride? Whoa. Detin. Dippap. Dimme a tiss? No? Whoa. Det out. Diddap.”
“Well I’ll be damned,” said the bubbling brook as a fat lady fell off the bridge into the water.
“Pm on the track,” said the detective as he watched the train approach.
Editor in Chief.......................Lyman Dunn
Assistant Editor...............................Nancy Benedict
Sport Editor..........................William Burt
Business Manager...........................Alexander Koch
Circulation Manager........................Katherine O’Neill
Advertising Manager..........................Stewart Beatty
Faculty Advisor.........—........Coeina D. McPhail
Published monthly by the students of the Sophomore Class of the Alton High School, Alton, Illinois.
Five cents per copy. By subscription, 50 cents per year. By mail, 60 cents per year.
AMONG THE CHI LAMBDAS
If a Theta,
With a Gamma Phi;
If a Theta Greet a Beta,
Need a Kappa Psi?
Every Theta Hasa Mata,
None they say have I,
But all the boys,
They smile at me,
Cause Ima Hunka Pi.
This club was organized to advance the interest in science. It meets every other Monday evening at 7:30 and has an enrollment of thirty-four members. The programs of the meetings consist of talks and demonstrations by various members of the club and science teachers. One or two times a year a trip is taken to an industrial plant or an outside speaker tells of the practical value of science to industries. Some of the subjects covered in the past year are the X-rays, chemical action in batteries, the structure of the atom, weathering forces of nature, steel manufacturing, and the process of making flour.
“So vou have been married before, Mrs Smith?”
Yus, ma’am, three times; and if it pleases the good Lord to take this one, 1 know where I can lay me ’ands on a fourth.”
The Hi-Y Club consists of pupils from the three upper classes of our school for the purpose of creating and maintaining a Christian spirit throughout the High School and the Y. M. C. A. It also stands for clean athletics, clean scholarship, clean speech and clean living. The existence of a club of this caliber tends to heighten the morale of the school and makes the school better for its influence, high standards and principles for which it stands.
Then, lest we forget, are the well attended suppers, known as “bean feeds,” where the fellows consume as much as is possible for a healthy boy to eat. With the aid of our sponsor, Mr. Hark-less, there is secured a good speaker to address us on a subject that is immensely essential to a boy’s life. All of our speakers have been men who understand and deal with boys in their professions.
The officers of the present year are:
President.....—--------------------- Walter Schenke
Treasurer......... —........_.........Phillip Gissal
This club was organized in the fall of 1923 by Mr. Harkless. All of its success has been due to him. The seniors of the Hi-Y wish that the under classmen would join and support this club as it is just in its infancy.
GIRL RESERVES OFFICERS
President...................... Lucille Wheeler
Vice-President.._.-_____________ Moreland Hoehn
Secretary........................... Alice Young
Treasurer........................ Gertrude Haight
1. To live up to standards of Christian citizenship.
2. To strive for true democracy in our friendships.
3. To be thoughtful and considerate in our dealings with our
4. To put forth a conscious effort to raise our scholarship.
Ben Higgins never would be passed,
He bragged his car’s endurance.
He passed six cars with backward glance— His wife has his insurance.
THE ALTON HIGH SCHOOL BAND
For about a year, now, Miss Mary Maguire, Alton Supervisor of Music in the schools, has been thinking of, dreaming of, and later working her head off for, an Alton High School Band. Now her labors arc rewarded. Alton High has a band of about twenty-five pieces. But don’t think, gentle reader, that Miss Maguire had any “cinch” of a job organizing the band. She didn’t.
The results of the first steps of organizing the band were gratifying. The students of Alton High School took hold well, almost thirty of them writing on the questionnaires handed to them that they were willing to form a band. Next, enough money was appropriated by the school board to buy the needed instruments. But the director was now lacking. Miss Maguire received many disappointments before she finally secured the services of D. D. Strock. A few days after definite word had been received from Mr. Strock, the first meeting of those interested in the band was called. This meeting took place on March 13, 1924. The band was at last organized. And njw, or at least after while, when the band becomes more proficient, if anyone wants to hand around any congratulations, don’t forget Miss Maguire.
Pa has named the clock after Mabel’s beau, ’cause he can never get it to go.
The man that hath no music in himself,
Nor is not moved with concord of sweet sounds, Is fit for treasons, stratagems, and spoils;
The motions of his spirit are dull as night.
And his affections dark as Erebus,
Let no such man be trusted.”
“Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory;
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.”
“Soft is the music that would charm forever; The flower of sweetest smell is shy and lowly.”
Sir the first; “Did you know that a man can’t marry his widow's sister?”
Sir the second; “How come?”
Sir the first: “If his wife was a widow, he would be dead."
)JUNIOR PLAY CAST
The Junior Play, entitled “Mrs. Temples’ Telegram,” was given April 9 at the Grand Theatre. The choice of characters was surely a good one. Who was the hero ? Why, Frank Worden, and he was surely a good one. He played the part of Mr. Temple and he played right up to it. And Mrs. Temple ? We all had seen Lois Stevenson before, but that night she made the best hit. Dorothy Stamper played the part of an ardent lover up to the minute, and could Kenneth make love to her? Every girl was almost jealous. But Helen Schuessler took the cake. She was the regular “tough.” And could she chew gum—well, we will all take lessons. “Bub” Zimmerman was the poor hen-pecked husband. Alonzella and Charles both played their parts fine. And wouldn’t you like to hear Edgar say, “That’s just what I was going to do?” The whole thing was a great success.
The year is closed, the record made, The last deed done, the last word said, And memory alone remains
Of all its joys, its griefs, its gains; And now, with purpose full and clear, We turn to meet another year.
70“TIN SOLDIER” GIRLS
Julia Willoughby Marjorie Benner Alice Logan Loretta Roeder Louella Smith Helen Hamer
“For he who fights and runs away May live to fight another day;
But he who is in battle slain Can never rise and fight again.”
(Junior Play Vaudeville)
Lucille Wheeler Alice Young Anna Junck Helen Christoe Caroline Haberer Grace Walker
“O, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown!
The courtier’s, soldier’s, scholar’s eye, tongue, sword.
“Did you fall?” asked a man rushing to the rescue of a woman who had slipped on the icy pavement.
“Oh, no,” she said; “I just sat down to see if I could find a four-leaf clover.”
Admiration starts at the picture of a game man—a being who sticks to his guns, loading and reloading in the face of the enemy, without flinching, and calmly taking his lot.
Adverse forces always present their strongest front in the beginning. Be game. Stand your ground. Outwit and outweigh the best of them.
But don’t wait for emergencies to test you out. Be game today. There will be plenty of chances if you use the initiative, planted in your system, to search out for something in which to make your abilities count for the most. If you are game in the little things you will be game in the big things.
A DEVIL’S LIFE AIN’T SO BAD
An employer, noted for his energy and lack of tolerance for loafing in any form, visited his stockroom and found a boy leaning idly against a foundry packing case, whistling cheerily and with nothing at all on his mind. The chief stopped and stared. Such a thing was unheard of in his establishment. “How much are you getting a week?” he demanded, with characteristic abruptness. “Twelve dollars.”
“Here’s your twelve. Now, get out. You’re through.”
As the boy philosophically pocketed the money and departed, the boss turned to the chief clerk and demanded:
“Since when has that fellow been with us?”
“Never, that I know of,” was the response. “He just brought over a proof for us from the printer.”
THE RUBE CONSTABLE
Stranger: “Why don’t you arrest that farmer in the flivver
who just cut that corner?”
Constable: “Just wait, stranger. That feller’s our official
Dee-cov. If ye want to see some arrestin’ wait till some tourist sees him cuttin’ corners an’ follers suit.”t
MR. JOHNNY MAC WHERTER
As the mentor of the Alton High School Athletics, Mr MacWhcrter showed a team that won the southwestern conference title and cup for football. He inspired his team with the spirit of never-give-up. He has turned out nothing but good teams since he began coaching the Alton High players.
SPENCE CANTRILL (Captain), Quarterback
Cantrill played his fourth and last year for Alton in a way that gained for him many admirers. Although injured in the first part of the season he wis always at his position. His old bunch hopes he will be as successful in the future as in the past.
GORDON (’TORSE) HILDEBRAND, Halfback.
Due to his unusually good playing, “Hilde” was given the title of “Horse.” Hilde was given a place on the All-state eleven and is equal to his name. He starred in practically every game. He is also to graduate in June, and will leave a place that will be lard to fill. Hilde played three years for Alton.
“REGGIE” BOYD. Fullback.
Boyd w.is a fast, live, plunging lullback who could always be depended upon when he was needed. He proved this fact in the Western game, where he was a star. He has just finished his second and last year as an lton player. We hope he continues his good work.
WALTER “BUD” SCHENKE. Fullback.
Schenke was Boyd’s relief man. He could always be depended upon to take up the burden where Boyd left it. He played well in all the games and his loss will be felt by the Alton team. He played his first and last year in a stellar fashion.
PAUL “PEWEE” VINE. Halfback.
Like T} ner, Pewee was small but mighty. He often surprised the spectators by going thru lines that stopped our larger backs. This was his first and last season for Alton, and he played it in such a way that gained the admiration of all.
75GEORGE BEALL. End.
This boy played a whiz of a game all season. As a subs, last year he played well but this year he starred. He was fast on punts and had a knack of catching passes that won favor in all eyes. He was equally strong on both defense and offense.
WALTER MICKESH. Guard.
As a ma.n new to football, Walter played the game in a very spectacular way. He was small, but his opponent found him hard to handle. He will be back next year and will star for Alton.
DALE “SNUGGLES” OLIVER. Center.
As a first year man. Dale made our other centers sit up and take notice. He was small, but he had the never-say-die spirit that wins football games. He played in every game and was, in most cases, our best defensive man. Dale will shine for Alton next year.
ED “PEANUTS” HULL.
Tn Ed, Alton has a tackle that stopped play after play. He was equally effective at breaking end runs as with stopping off tackle plays. Ed, however, graduates after his first year of football. He will always be remembered.
LESLIE NICOLET. End. (Captain-Elect.)
Nicolet held down an end for the Alton High eleven. He will be back for another year of football. (We couldn’t get Red to say anything about himself.)
JOHN BERNER. Guard.
John played his second and last year for Alton. Like his two mates, he was small but mighty. He was a hard and low tackier, and his diving tackles were appreciated by the rooters. Too bad John graduates.
77HARRY “DEMON” HILE.
This tall lad started out as a center, hut was used as a tackle the latter part of the season. He was a hard fighter, and never gave up.
Although not a regular, Louis could always step into a regular’s place and fill it well. He was the inspiring light for the Alton team. lie will not he back next year.
WILLIAM BURT. Fullback.
Burt was a line smashing, hard hitting fullback. He never knew when to stop, it seemed. He showed up well in the Bloomington game, where he alone could gain.
78PHIL GISSAL. End.
Phil played vs second and last year at end for the Alton school, lie could catch passes and run down punts in such a way that made for him many admirers. Too bad he will not he back next season.
ART WILSON. Guard.
Wilson played guard and played it well. He will probably star for Alton next season.
R. FICHTEL. End.
Fichtel played his first year of football at end. He was a regular fighter and would never give up. He was noted for this fact. He will probably star for Alton next season.
79JOHN “LEAD” COBECK. Tackle.
John, playing his second year at tackle for the Alton Squad, was a lad that could kick and received passes as good as any end. He was a good offensive man as well as a defensive. He was always man every play. He wi.ll be with us next year.
“ROB” TYNER. Halfback.
Like Cantrill, Tyner was a great asset to the team. He played in every game until injured. W hile he was playing, Alton never lost. He was small but mighty, and carried a pack of fighting spirit with him. He will also be missed next year, as he graduates in June. This was Robert’s second year at football.
Letter “A” Men
Cantrill (honorable mention Beall
from the state) Cobeck
Hildebrand (All state halfback) Oliver
Cobeck Streeper Schenke Nicolet
Mary Louise Gissal Virginia Carpenter
Helen Hamer Virginia Swettenham
Paul Cousley Virginia Koch Walter Schenke Plarold Brown Allan Dean
Allen Heskett Howard Whiteside Clifford Paul Swain Benedict Robert Tyner
1923 football season opened at the Alton High School with about 45 fellows reporting to the coach. Capt. Cantrill. Tyner. Hildebrand and Boyd were the only letter men. As there were no experienced linesmen back it was necessary to build an entirely new line. This was accomplished as shown by the fact that only three touchdowns were scored through them during the whole season. Alton ended the season with the Southwestern Conference Title.
Alton opened its 1923 season by defeating the county seat eleven by the score of 25-0. This was a hard-fought game, as it was necessary to try various men. Alton used two complete teams in this game. Oliver, who replaced Cobeck at center, after the latter had been ordered from the field, played a stellar game. He was assisted by Tyner and Hildebrand, who also played well the first game.
Collinsville was Alton’s opponent in their 2nd game of the season. The Alton squad ran wild and won the game 60-0. Alton scored in the first minutes of play, and continued to score thruout the contest almost at will. “Mac” used three complete teams in this game and they all scored against Collinsville. Tyner. Hildebrand, and Cantrill starred for the backfield, with Beall. Berner, Sanders and Hull showing well on the line. Capt. Cantrill injured his ankle in this game and was handicapped thruout the season because of it.
Roodhouse at last! We were all set for this game because of their victory last year. Our hopes for an easy victory were drowned, however, by the rain which greeted us at their city. On a field wet and slippery we succeeded in gaining a tie with them. This game was a better played game than would be imagined. The Roodhouse team scored early, thus causing Alton to put up a terrific battle in order to gain a tie. This was accomplished after a forty-yard run by Hildebrand.
Alton’s next game was with the highly praised Webster Groves team. Alton gave them a terrible shock, for on the first play. Alton made a big gain. After the first few plays both teams settled down and played real football. Early in the 2nd quarter Capt. Cantrill of Alton made a perfect drop kick from the 42-yard line. During the third quarter the playing was again nip and tuck between the two teams. In the last few minutes of play Capt. Cantrill again pulled a play that completely bewildered the opponents. This was the highly praised quarterback sneak. This resulted in a touchdown, making the score 10-0 in Alton’s favor. Spectators quote that this was one of the best high school football games ever seen in this city. Capt. Cantrill, Tyner and Hildebrand again starred for the backfield, with Beall, Oliver, Mikesh and Hull starring for the line. Alton’s line showed up well against the experienced Webster line.
The following Saturday the Alton team was to play Jacksonville at Jacksonville, but owing to the death of their Capt. the game did not take place. We greatly regretted this sorrow which the Jacksonville team suffered.
83On Nov. 2, Alton met and defeated Belleville by a 7-3 score, thereby gaining the lead in the Southwestern Conference. This victory assured Alton of the championship as well as the trophy, which was donated by the Rotary Club of Alton. Cantrill was forced to leave the game early on account of injuries, and his loss was greatly felt by the Alton team. This perhaps explains the off day the team had. Alton gained far more ground than the visitors, as shown bv the number of first downs. With Belleville leading 3-0. Alton started a fierce offensive attack that soon scored a touchdown, winning the game for Alton. Tyner and Hildebrand carried the burden of this attack and carried it well.
Four victories so far. 1 tie. Good season.
Nov. 10 was the day for the game between Western M. A. and Alton H. S., which was won by the cadets, 12-3. The weight and power of the cadets were too much for the light Alton team. Altho Alton was in position to score more times than the cadets they lacked a scoring punch. The day was perfect from the spectator’s viewpoint for football, and nearly two thousand saw the game. Aside from the fact that Tyner. Alton’s star halfback, was out of the game, because of a broken collar bone sustained the Thursday before the game, the Alton team was in the pink of condition. Alton opened the game with a bewildering aerial attack that took them close enough to the goal, for Alton’s Capt. to kick a drop kick for three points. Alton did not hold the lead long, however, for Western started a slashing-smashing line attack which netted them two touchdowns in the 2nd quarter. In the 2nd half Alton had three chances to score but did not. Hildebrand was the horse for Alton. He played brilliantly, hitting far gains off tackle, catching passes, and on the defense stopping play after play. Cantrill. who was handicapped by a bad ankle, kicked well and led his team courageously. In the line. Oliver at center and Nicolet at end played a great defensive game for Alton. In fact, every man playing for Alton covered himself with glory. Western was brilliant in victory, Alton magnificent in defeat. Our first defeat of the season.
Alton won the Conference Title by defeating Granite City 35-0. After the first ten minutes of play there was no doubt as to who would emerge the victors. Alton took the ball from the kickoff, and scored with about eight plays. Every man on the Alton squad played in this game. Hildebrand, Worden. Vine. Boyd. Sanders. Burt, and Cantrill played a stellar game, while Beall at end stopped Granite time after time.
Our fifth victory! Only one defeat!
On Nov. 29 Alton played Bloomington on a field that was water-soaked and muddy. It was a bad day for a Turkev Dav game and the result shows it was bad for Alton also. The weight that the Bloomington fellows had over the Alton fellows decided the game in their favor. Bloomington scored its only points early in the 2nd half; the two teams made an attempt to play the game as it should be played, but failed because of the mud. Only a few people saw this game, but they wTere well pleased with the game. Alton was in a position to score several times but lacked the punch. Gissal. an end. played the best for Alton’s line, while Hildebrand starred for the backfield. Alton’s standing as follows:
Won 5. Tied 1. Lost 2. This is a fairly good showing, but we hope to do better next year.
W ith very little material and only three letter men the basketball season of 1924 opened at the Alton High School. Only one letter man was to be eligible all season.
Alton played its first game against the Jerseyville five. It was a long, hard-fought game, but the visitors, who had already played six games, showed too strong a passing game and won out by a 28-22 score.
Alton showed a better balanced team and had their eye on the basket the second game and won out by a 25-12 score. The county seat lads were the opponents and they did their best throughout the game.
Showing an improved passing game and also an eye for the basket, Alton took the strong Shelbyville quintet in camp by a 17-10 score. This was a hard-fought game from beginning to end.
With the same line-up Alton had little difficulty in defeating the W ood River five by a 11-7 score. Schenke was the high point man for Alton.
The strong Decatur five next fell before Alton. They were defeated by a 16-13 score. This was the best game ever witnessed in Alton by a high school crowd. Tyner had just returned to the line-up.
Worn out from the night before, the Alton quintet was defeated by the Collinsville five in a slow game. The final score was 25-18 in favor of Collinsville.
Striving for revenge the Alton team lost a heart-breaking game to the Western Military Academy five by a 11-10 count. The game was a repetition of the Decatur game in every way but one. That was that Alton did not win.
Playing the poorest ball this season. Alton let the Edwards-ville five win from them (12-10). This game was played in the small Edwardsville gym. Alton had no alibi and was a disappointed five after this game.
On Feb. 1 the Alton team went up to Decatur and lost a hard-fought game to the high school team of that city. Alton again had poor basket shooting, but managed to keep the score fairly even. Schulenburg was the shining light for Alton with a total of nine points. The next evening Alton lost to the Bloomington team.
After coming home from the northern trip Alton lost to their old rival—Belleville. Belleville showed a fast combination, and the Alton fellows failed to stop them. The final score was 25-12 for Belleville.
After experiencing the humiliation of a 25-12 defeat at the hands of Belleville, Alton, with a slight change of line-up. went to Collinsville and played them oft their feet. Alton led up until the
87last 30 seconds of play, when Collinsville made a foul, tying the score. Another foul gave them the game just as the whistle blew.
Without the service of Capt. Tyner Alton again put up a terrific fight to regain the favors of old lady luck. It seemed impossible, however, for Alton again held a lead up until the last few minutes of play just to see it fade into nothing. Wood River triumphed over Alton by an 18-17 score.
Again old lady luck was against us. The team went to Jersey-ville and received the short end of a 14-13 score. Alton made a good finish, making three points in the last couple minutes. We don’t seem to be able to win.
Probably discouraged by their continued failure Alton lost a slow game to the Granite City team by a 25-16 score. “Pep up, Alton.”
Alton lost the following Friday to the Belleville five again by a 25-10 score. Alton again showed a poor passing game. Schenke was high point man for Alton.
Showing an improved game all around, the Alton five lost a hard-fought game to Granite City. The Granite City five was trailing until the last quarter, when they made a spurt and easily outdistanced their rivals.
On Thursday evening, March 6th, the district tournament opened at Granite City. The third and main attraction of the evening was the game between Alton High and Belleville. Alton was the under dog and showed well in this game. At the first half they held a 7-4 lead. In the third quarter Alton slowed down and allowed Belleville to pass them. With two minutes to play and the score 12-8 against them, Alton made a spurt and knotted the score. This only lasted for a minute, when the Belleville center caged another field goal, this winning the game, 14-12.
Alton won its first game of baseball this season by the overwhelming score 15 to 0. Their opponents were the Granite City nine, who proved to be anything but a baseball team. On the infield Alton showed Schenke, Geltz, Foval and Campbell. Cobeck did the pitching and Wilson the receiving. The outfield was considered Alton’s weak point.
The second game with Mascoutah proved that the outfield was the weak point of Alton’s defense. Time after time the ball was knocked to the outfield only to drop from the fielders’ gloves. With such poor support, Cobeck, Alton’s twirler, could not hold the Mascoutah batters. The result shows that John was at their mercy. Score, 17-7.
88Showing better in the field and by batting the ball hard, Alton won the third game from Wood River team by a 20 to 13 score. The game was played in a drizzling rain and the ball was hard to control. Baker started the game for Alton, but was sent to the showers in the third inning. Cobeck then took up the burden and handled it well.
With a confident spirit the Alton nine lost a hard hitting game to the Madison nine. Cobeck had two bad innings, but after that pitched good ball. After letting Madison get an 8-3 lead, Alton started hitting the ball and soon went ahead. Cobeck soon slowed down and let Madison score three more runs, which the Alton team could not overcome. The score was 14-11, with Alton having the smaller number.
This makes two defeats and two victories for the Alton nine. They still have a chance to win the conference if they will pick up and play the ball they can. The next game is with Belleville.
The 1924 season opened with a dual meet at Staunton, April
26. Alton made a good showing in all events except three, shot-put, discus and pole vault. The work of Medler, Dean, Burt and Winkler was exceptional. In the relay race the combination of Dean, Burt, Worden and Winkler was unbeatable.
On May 3 the Track Team journeyed to Lebanon, 111., for the annual McKendree interscholastic. The meet was a great disappointment to Alton. Alton did not place in the meet.
The remaining meets, however, appear favorable for Alton. With Dean, Burt, Worden and Winkler in the relay race. Coach Sutherland has high hopes of making a good showing at the Jacksonville meet May 10.
Alton is vastly superior to Belleville and Granite City, whom they meet on May 17 in a triangular meet at Granite City.
On May 24 Alton must put forth every effort, for on this date, is held the Southwestern Illinois Conference meet at Granite City. Alton is noted as one of the best contenders for the title in the meet. We hope to bring back the traveling trophy, of which we have already captured one leg.
Good luck, Alton.
(Just heard that Alton won.)
A Jewish friend of mine gave me some wine Hebrew it himself.
89Lucia McPhillips Dorothy Hopkins Wilma Buck Mildred Barr
Virginia Corbett Helen Christoe Florence Yoxall (coach)
Anna Jungk Marie Christoe Mary Louise Gissal
Virginia Swettenham Virginia Carpenter Helen Hamer
A VEGETABLE ROMANCE
If you carrot all for me.
Lettuce get married.
Please, dear, don’t squash my hopes, As we cantelope,
For I love your turnip nose,
And radish cheeks.
Alberta Andrus Louise Patterson
Sara Modes Virginia Coleman
Alice Chappell Ida Miller Leona Fundall Mary Reed Louise Seabold Harriet Butler Helen Weishaupt
Ellen Pfeiffer Ruth McPhillips Alice Gaither Gertrude Haight Harriet Christoe Geraldine McKinney Charlotte Cannel
Cohen and Levy were in business together, and while traveling out W est, Levy took sick and died. The undertakers who took charge of die body wired Cohen: “Levy died; can embalm him for $50 or Leeze him for $25.”
Cohen wired back: “Freeze him from the knees up for $15—
his legs were frost-bitten last winter.’ —Ski-U-Mah.
Judge: “So you tried to drive by the officer after he blew his
Motorist: “Your Honor, I'm deaf.”
Judge: “That may be. but you’ll get your hearing in the morn-
ing. Next case.”
Ford turned out a car every four seconds during the working hours of the working days of April. Now crack your own joke.
The sweet young thing across the way dropped in on us the other day and asked if it would damage an automobile engine to run without gasoline. We assured her that it was dangerous practice, and she promised to be very careful.
“Rather sad about that friend of yours that was killed in an auto accident.”
“Very. He allowed his life insurance policy to lapse in order to have enough money to buy the car.” —Judge.
Puzzled Tourist: “Say, friend, how much farther is it to
Native: “Six steep hills, four detours, three mud holes, one
speed trap, and ten hot dog stands.” —Auto Sparks.
ACCESSORY NOTE A man with a coffin in his truck was arrested for speeding, in Chicago. Well, if they’re bound to do it, that’s the thing to carry.
Ques.: Is that seat vacant?
Ans.: No, it’s empty.
Ques.: What is a polygon?
Ans.: A dead parrot.
Ques.: Was there ever a human that didn’t talk about his
Ans.: Yes, Robinson Crusoe.
Ques.: When the clock strikes thirteen what time is it?
Ans.: Time for it to be fixed.
Ques. (on geography) : Name one animal which has no definite
Ans.: Stray dog.
4. The Freshmen make their debut into A. H. S.
5. “Howdy dear teachers,” “Glad to meet you,” and “Glad to see you once more.”
6. The Freshmen bring their apples for recess.
7. Annual locker rush—Gosh—what a mob.
10. Our new principal gives us a speech today. Three rahs for Wheeler.
11. Miss Wempen explains that the floor is the place for the feet.
12. Great amusement, a freshie raises his hand in the assembly.
13. The fellows go out for football—ah—
14. Mr. O.: “I’m cutting a wisdom tooth, what’s good for it?
Mr. S.: “I’ll bring the baby’s teething ring tomorrow.”
17. Cheer leaders elected today. Jack Gerdes, “Gook” Streeper. and Edgar Tipton.
18. Miss P.: “I just couldn’t fry a chicken.”
John C.: “Gee—I’d hate to be your husband.”
19. Sophomore board elected. They have the sympathy of the whole school.
9320. Girls meeting in Assembly—Oh boys.
21. First tests—Freshie to assembly teacher: “Are we allowed to study before tests?”
24. We have a new song today written by Harriet Christoe.
25. Keep off grass at the Commercial. (What there is.)
26. A senior appears in white sweater bearing red W.
27. The bulletin boards are decorated with cartoons advertising game next Saturday.
28. First big pep meeting for tomorrow’s game.
1. All thrilled, Alton won her first game.
2. Tatler editors elected. Poor children.
3. Today the first meeting of the Hi Y Club was held.
4. Orchestra is reorganized.
5. The girls aren’t so bad; they surely did their duty at their pep meeting today. “Lonie,” “Panky” and “Gertie” showed their colors in the skit.
8. Again we’re happy; we won, 60-0.
10. First symptoms of the Godard and Wilson case.
11. Jimmie M. (getting Commercial instead of Main Building): “May I have time, please?”
Mr. Peers: “My watch says 8:25.”
12. Today we try some new yells—Audie leads.
15. Everybody scared to death after the day at Roodhouse.
16. Miss P.: “Of course I use rouge and lipstick when I go out with men.”
17. Excitement. Almost an eclipse of the sun.
18. Today Mary Helen steps out in her new winter hat—a little early, but we don’t care.
19. Snake dance during pep meeting celebrating game with Webster.
22. Snake dance served its purpose—we beat Webster 10-0. Not so bad—huh?
23. Senior Class meeting, that’s all.
24. Teachers’Convention. What? Sure, two holidays.
29. Everyone tired out after holidays.
30. An innovation at the faculty meeting.
31. Hallowe’en tonight; be careful.
1. Parts of the school were found missing today—finders please return them. It’s lucky Hallowe’en comes but once a year.
2. Everybody turned out for parade today.
5. Alton Hi wins against Belleville.
6. Oh—yes—I saw Miss Yoxall and Mr. Sutherland there last night.
7. Rev. Townsend addresses the A. H. S. pupils.
8. Mr. W.: “What is another name for a hot bed?”
Abner: “A green house.”
9. All out tomorrow. The big home game with Western. If we
12. Alton Hi football team appears in court plaster—no, we didn’t win.
13. Mary Ellen comes with her hair parted in the middle.
14. Flora entertains us with some of her wonderful dancing.
15. Katherine has another one—you all know Fred Tuemmler.
16. Everyone dressed up for social hour.
19. Big crowd at Granite—of course we won.
9420. Tests come—everybody working hard.
21. Excitement—the dirigible T. C. 3 goes over Alton Hi. Not much studying done 4th hour.
22. Tests come thick and fast.
23. The freshmen look rather sad as some of them got C in their tests—they’ll soon get used to that.
26. Girls’ chorus meets—that’s all.
27. Went to class all day.
28. Social hour—celebrating Thanksgiving.
29. Thanksgiving Day. We are all thankful for Old High.
2. Few people absent—too much Thanksgiving.
3. Lorado Taft, the noted sculptor, addresses Alton High.
4. It was announced today that Gordon was on the All Star State Team—three cheers for Hildi.
5. Sophomores out today.
8. Mary Esther Ahe and Gertrude Haight win prizes for Christmas stories in “Sophomore.”
9. Science Club meeting.
10. Tonight the committees for the Christmas party were selected.
11. The shorthand class learns to write “O you kid!”
12. Miss Colgate, Miss Cartwright and Mrs. McPhail favored us with musical selections this morning.
15. Everybody seems to be getting better in behavior. Gettin’ near Dec. 25.
16. Oh girls—did you all see Mr. Weisert’s new bow tie?
17. Today a man from Granite City spoke on the Y. M. C. A. Oh no—not the building—the subject.
13. No excitement.
19. The seniors find that the freshmen still believe in Santa Claus.
22. Not much school this week.
23. Poor receive bontified donation.
First freshman to second: “Did youse bring your beans?”
24. Half holiday. That School Board is becoming magnanimous. A program in the morning—and social hour too.
25. Merrv Xmas.
2. I wonder how long these good resolutions about reports will last ?
3. All the fine resolutions are broken.
6. Ice—a light fall of snow and teachers, too.
7. We like Gordon but—oh Spence—says Tootie.
8. Mad rush between Mildred and Mary Ellen to win the prize— Mark—who shall it be?
9. Helen entertained us with her brilliancy this morning.
10. Pep meeting for Basket Ball—first game tonight.
12. We have with us good English week. Every one windeth his tongue carefully.
14. Although she is timid, shy. and retiring, we finally persuaded Miss Yoxall to speak in the assembly on the joys of basketball. Lots of pep?
15. In spite of Miss Yoxall’s speech we lost, 18-17.
16. Why doesn’t somebody do something around this place, and give us something to write about? Won’t someone jump in the Mississippi, or fall down steps, or get married? We’re not particular what.
17. Alice danced in the assembly today.
952Q. Mfe pjay fl Granite Saturday. What have we to be thankful for? The scpre, 21-16.
21. The Dramatic Club gave a play. Oh no! Not in the assembly.
22. Miss Degenhardt: “Is it a question that’s bothering you ?” iVe'rpy L.: “Ob no! Just the answer.”
23. Social hour.
24. J jr. Shewmaker sang in the auditorium. Everyone enjoyed it. Exams.
27. More exams'!
28. Lost: A teacher, Miss Rutledge. Finder please return.
29. Everyone is weeping over the departure of Spence, especially Mary Helen.
30. After weeks, of desperate, struggling we get two days’ vacation. We really don’t want them, but you know how ’tis.
3. Freshmen are all in a daze. “Peanuts” met Johnnie and asks him if he’s, going to school here too.
4. VVork begins again.
5. At 2 P. M. a verdant band of Freshmen is lost for the: 18th time in the hallways.
6. Miss Ferguson speaks, in the assembly.
7. Abner (at social hour) : “I could go on dancing with you like this forever.”
Tiny J.: “Oh no! You’re bound to improve.”
Rev. Townsend spoke this, morning, having: as- his- subject.. “Woodrow Wilson.”
10. All the girls decided to be nurses. A nurse spoke in 5A third hour.
13. Mr. McAdaFis.talked on “Abraham Lincoln” in the assembly.
14. “Will you be my valentine?” The February birthday party was held today.
15. Men of the faculty entertained the ladies-of the faculty and the wives, of the married members with a three-course dinner.
18. Refreshments,: consisting of snow ice-cream was served in the art class today.
19. Radio Science meeting.
20. Alton, Hi .loses her cheer leader, Jackie. Wonder why ?
21. Girls Tournament begins.
22. Washington’s Birthday. Oh no! No holiday! Why, the idea!
25. Mr. Smith to Jerry: “The more you whisper the harder I’ll make the test.”
26. Preparations for the leap year party.
27. Mr. Peers and Miss Gates attend the theater.
28. Harry asks in English if “girls, are puzzles” is a figure of speech.
29. Leap year dance. James brings hisxlub with which to knock off the girls.
3. The school is in gloom. Miss. Perrin leaves us today.
4. Welcome our new teacher who will take Miss Perrin’s place, Miss Winegarner.
5. The police enforce the curfew ordinance and Ran die, Idelen and Amanda are not seen after 4 o’clock.
6. Everyone getting all set for the tournament at Granite.
7. Well—’tis sad but true, we lost.
9610. Junior play cast selected,,
41. Weather predictions ;for today WJarni •, and•. cpld sr • partly : 44'. ; cloudy and fair.
12. No school I Delightful!
.17. Track and baseball are in vogue now.
18. Did you all. buy “I did, did you?” lags? Mysterious meaning. Mystery cleared They were athletic tags.
19 We were entertained by a harmonic player:' iQhe of our boys won a bainiomcfby being able to nanyc ceitam pieces
20. Track practice. All the freshies earnc out.'
, 21. Katherine drops French.
24. Don’t vre.wish we had diamond like Mass Colgate’s. Congratulations, Ada.
25 h L toU 1 J‘Say how many times does tha,t sign go around when it gets around once-?”
26 AT Sutlierlandpn JJDyhies ‘What is sublime?” 4 :
28. A pompadour! A pompadour! My kingdom',for a pom pa
dour. ‘Teamits” succumbs.
., 31. IhetGeom pupils -prove that W stands .oyer A. H.
1. April Fool! We discovei an awful lot of fools in A. IF S.
2. Matilda Wiseman in .-English 'Class can't pronounce the word . beaux.
3. Airs. McEhail at a meeting. “It would be better if more of the pupils- would talk oil their feet.”
. 4. Bulk tins-fill the boaids advertising the Junior play. I’m sure everyone-will go.
7. Part of the play is given in the Assembly ; It m,ust be good.
. 8. A Junior., girl- n the library,. “Fye |p©d ed apd Rooked,ybut 1
’• can’t find’Silas'Marifref s wonk.” ' :’4t ' ,fi
■ 9. Tonight’s the big play—everyone is.going.
:10. It. surely was a success. .What? VV hy the' Junior play, of course.
JI. Senior .meeting. They, finally -decided .. about: . t.heir .colors, motto, etc.
, 44. A brilliant question is asked .by a- Freshman,. “Did; Pierce die .; after he was president?”
14 The Valedictorian misses a problem Why. Aiex?
: 16 Mildred P , on being:asked what cplor it is gh- es no response. Ever) one looks her way -the answer is perfect".
17 The one-two’s has .ltsTirst class .meeting.
18 i Mr Weiseit appears m „a greeii die -jhe. takes a Mare
19 Today Miss Lowiy is trying to giv,e away some of her own photographs. 4 f '■ 4'f
-21. Startling information is given by John Hughey—“Southeyf wrote 'Hoah of Ark.”
22. Excitement m CIA, “Inez —you will lean back and. go thiougn . the window again.”
C23. Tags—buy a.tag.
: _24. Have dydu pjedged your Tatler yet? Watch: the barometer ■ rise..,'
25. More tags.
28. Mice f Mice! Look at the girls run Audie got the worst | obit.
30 We shallmow pioceed to proppund tins, hopoied i iddle “Tha'S glass reminds me oi Fieshmen” "Why"” ‘‘Oh us sorss py 77?7ZZ zz22
w wa Fiftieth Anniversary
Illinois Glass Company
Better Bottle Makers Since 1873
General Office—Alton, Illinois
Gas City, Ind. Chicago Heights, III Vineland, N. J. Minotole, N. J.
For Quality Plus Service See
310 State St.
Plumer - Kremer Piano Co. Get your Candy and
Everything Musical Ice Cream from us
Latest Columbia Records Hot and Cold Lunches
Gulbransen, Baldwins and Claren- at all hours
don Pianos Venardos
18 East Broadway Phone 339-W on Piasa St.
Alton, 111. Bridgeton, N. J.fA nnual Staffs turn to us for advice and Kelp in preparing 4ieir Annuals.
We start at fhe beginning to work out plans creating nev? and original ideas.
Many costly mistakes are avoided ftirougK our close co-operation.
dtis being a part of our service PLUS first quality engravings.
Central Engraving Company
Saint Louis, MissouriTHE TATLER GAZETTE
Tatler’s Greatest Newspaper.
Published once a year. Price—$0.00. It never changes. This issue dedicated to the last rose of summer.
Headlines of first page.
High school boy takes gas. Mark Lehmkuhl. well known boy in the High School, commits suicide.
Mark Lehmkuhl, eldest son of Mr. and Mrs. Lehmkuhl, and a brilliant student in the A. H. S., committed suicide last night by taking gas. His parents are very much worried about the gas bill, as the burner was left on, it seems as though Mark didn’t have time to turn it off. It is said that his sweetheart, Mary Ellen Codings, refused him when he proposed. His funeral will be held Thursday. Editor of the Sophomore Shops.
Lyman Dunn was reported to have visited Koch’s Ten Cent store, and there he purchased one dozen large red handkerchiefs. It is thought he did this in case he had a cold.
Valeditorian is selected.
Alexander Whitfield was selected as the valeditorian of the June class of 1924. During his high school years. Alex has never been known to have failed in more than four subjects a year. This is very unusual. There was a close run between Gordon Hildebrand and Alex, but Alex succeeded in gaining the victory. We are sorry that every one can’t gain the honor.
Weather: Fair and warmer, probably rain with winds from
the north before the year is up.
Grave accident to a Junior. Miss Helen Schuessler is recovering. Due to a sudden shock. Miss Helen Schuessler, a Junior, was overcome this morning. One of the busts that grace the assembly moved, and, overcome by the intenseness of the moment, the young lady was prostrated. The doctor was called at once and applied five tenth hours. This seemed to be what she needed, so she is resting nicely, at the present time.
The worthy Board of Education, with its usual generosity, has announced a holiday, not only for Alton High, but for all the other schools as well, on the next Fourth of July. This holiday is one of a splendid series that have been brightening the days of the pupils of the school.
Mr. and Mrs. Alton Hildebrand have departed on their annual roundup trip to Alaska early this evening. They left very unexpectedly, as Sheriff Whittles didn’t give them much time. Mrs. Hildebrand was, before her marriage, Miss Bernadette Merkle.
101Satisfied Patrons Are My Best Advertisement
KOPP’S PHOTOGRAPHIC STUDIO
Phone, 748-J Seventh and Henry
Luncheons Frozen Dainties
Clean, Dainty Service Quality Unsurpassed
24 West Broadway Alton, Illinois
George M. Ryrie Company
Alton Mineral Springs Hotel
Special Sunday Dinner, $1.00 Weekly, 85c
AUG. F. RATZ, Prop.
Alton National Bank
Capital and Surplus, $400,000.00On December third, the members of the A. H. S. were given a rare opportunity in having Mr. Lorado Taft, the noted sculptor, speak before the Assembly. His address was very interesting and was given in a most attractive manner.
A. H. S. has the honor of having a backfield on the all Star Team. This man is Gordon Hildebrand, the half back of Alton Hi. We are very proud of Gordon, we wish that we had more like him.
The Christmas Party was held in the “Gym” December 24. 1'‘23. Santa Claus was there and gave each guest some sort of a present. A large Christmas Tree was lighted up at the extreme west end of the “Gym.”
There was a grand march which was led by Miss Yoxall and Mr. Sutherland, and during the march peppermint sticks were given out. A lively time was enjoyed by all.
LOST—Somewhere between Feb. 1 and June 1. twenty-five A’s. twenty hours of sleep and twenty hours of work. Finder please return to Mr. George Beall.
LOST—One Physics pupil on last excursion when Miss Schuessler shot the gun. Finder please communicate with Mr. Sutherland.
FOUND—A note written by J. B. Owner may have article bv calling at the office and identifying it.
WANTED—One spring vacation, every year, about April 1. Address. Lazy Lofer Club, A. H. S.
FOR SALE—Canines of all descriptions, useful, as well as ornamental. large or small, any color desired. For further informa-tino apply to Room 5.
“Where is the best place to hold the world’s fair?” “Around the waste.”
Harold Bug: “Some people call me stingy. Do you think
I am ?”
Shorty Clement: “Well, Harold (pushing him away), I must
say you are too close at times.”
Everything is divided equally—The rich man has his twin six, and the poor man has his six twins.
103First Trust Savings Bank
102 West Third Street
CAPITAL, - - $100,000.00
SURPLUS, - - - 30,000.00
D. A. WYCKOFF, President H. B. BUSSE, Cashier
J. E. KELSEY, Vice-President N. C. WYCKOFF, Asst. Cashier
W. H. Cartwright, D. M. Kittinger, Geo. A. Sauvage, J. E. Kelsey, Eben Rodgers, A. B. Wyckoff, D. A. Wyckoff
Citizens National Bank
City Hall Square, Alton, Illinois
Capital, Surplus and Profit, - $555,000 00
Resources over - - $4,000,000.00
Member Federal Reserve System
iHdling $c (ifofilmtH Printing (Hit.
When Quality Counts We Get The Work
Sauvage’s Cigar Store
217 Piasa Street
Ten Billiard and Pocket Tables
Alton, IllinoisABNER BARR
Abner had a little trait,
It’s name was “pestication.”
And everwhere that Abner went, It followed without hesitation.
Angel Food Homer Henderson
Sunshine Cake William Raith
Devil’s Food Huck Finn
Marble Cake Sam Duncan
Sponee Cake Frank Worden
v 1 o Spice Cake John Spiceland
Nut Cake Clarence Madrey
Ginger Cake Mr. Weisert
Imperial Cake Mr. Wheeler
Metropolitan Cake... Alexander Koch
Date Cakes “Dink” Hair
Puff Cake...!. Stewart Beatty
Jam Cake J. Evervone going to lunch
Loaf Cake John Cobeck
Lemon Cake Randall Fichtel
Written for the Benefit of Mr. Stallings. “THE FLUNKER’S PRAYER”
I shall not pass.
He maketh me prove impossibilities;
He leadeth me into deep theorms Which trouble me much.
He leadth me into dense propositions For my grades’ sake Yea tho I study with labor It has no effect,
For my work is near me with No answer book to comfort me.
He preparcth an exam before, one Without the presence of my book.
He giveth me many failures—
My troubles runneth over.
Surely flunks and failures shall Follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the class of Geom. forever.
105Build with Brick
Pave with Brick
“The Safe Material”
Alton Brick Company
Alton, Illinois Edwardsville, Illinois
Maryland Heights, St. Louis Co., Missouri
A. B. C.
“Quality and Service”
Alton Baking and Catering Co.DR. DICKINSON
Dentist Alton, Illinois
RIELLEY-STIRITZ AUTO CO
401 Broadway The Home of the
W. M. SAUVAGE AMUSEMENT ENTERRPISES
Open 11 till 11
Orchestra, Pipe Organ
2:30 and 8:15 P. M. Exclusive First Run Feature Productions
St. Paul, J. S.,
Chautauqua Bathing Pool
MAIN OFFICE 224 FRONT STREET, ALTON
For High School Girls. The Newest in Garments and Millinery
For Dress and Sport, are received direct from New York, also
at moderate prices, looks so well that others will
omart rootwear watch yoUr step.’
To serve you well and in the right spirit is our aim.
West Third St. HENLEY ALDEN COMPANY Alton, IllinoisTITLES
A buck private who had strayed from the fold—the fold of his encampment decided that he would spend his last handful of Jack in a blaze of glory before surrendering to the M. P.’s. Accordingly, he went to a big hotel, picked up the pen and was preparing to sign the register when he saw inscribed on the lines above: “Rev. James Morgan, A. M., Ph. D., D. D.”
“Gen. Morton Butterbv-Miggs, K. C. B., O. Be. E.”
“Prvt. Jim Harnish, A. W. O. L., probably S. O. L.”
ANOTHER ENGAGEMENT An Italian, having applied for citizenship, was being examined in the naturalization court.
“Who is the President of the United States?”
“Who is the Vice-President?”
“Could you be President?”
“Mister, you ’scuse, please. I vera busy worka da mine.”
We were coming from the picnic And wandering oer the land;
The moon was shining brighter,
I held her little—shawl.
Yes, I held her little shawl,
How fast the evening flies.
We spoke in gentle tones of love,
I gazed into her—lunch-basket.
I gazed into her lunch basket,
I wished I had a taste.
Here sat my lovely charmer,
My arm around her—umbrella.
Embracing her umbrella,
That charming little Miss.
Pier eyes so full of mischief,
I slyly stole a—sandwich.
109Dr. Coleman Dentist Alton, Illinois BRICE RYAN Mens’ Clothing and Furnishings 108 West Third St. Degenhardt Pharmacy Prompt Prescription Service 32 West Broadway
Morrissey Bros. 112 West Third Street Delicate Drug Company 639 East Broadway Visit our Soda Fountain The Best Ice Cream and Soda in the City
H. K. Johnston Hardware Co. State Street and Broadway
Springman Lumber Company Lumber, Millwork, Best Wall Board, Paints and Varnishes' Broadway and Cherry Sts. Alton, Illinois
Alton Laundry Co. LAUNDERERS DRY CLEANERS Walnut Grove Dairy Co. Clarified and Pasteurized Milk and Peerless Ice Cream Quality and ServiceCOMPREHENSIVE
There is nothing like taking precautions. In the following colloguy, Mr. Casey, so far as we can judge, neglected nothing. Mrs. Casey said to him:
“Me sister writes me that every bottle in that box we sent her was broken. Are ye sure yez printed, ‘This side up with care’ on it?”
“Oi am.” said Casey emphatically. “An' for fear they shouldn’t see it on the top oi printed it on the bottom as well.”
GIVING POP A TIMELY HUNCH
“My son,” said the father impressively, “Suppose I should be taken away suddenly, what would become of you?”
“Why,” said the son irreverently, “I'd stay here; the question is, what would become of you?”
One cold, wintry morning, a man of tall and angular build was walking down a steep hill at a quick pace. A treacherous piece of ice under the snow caused him to lose control of his feet; he began to slide and was unable to stop.
At a cross street half way down the decline, he encountered a large heavy woman with her arms full of bundles.
The meeting was sudden, and before either realized it a collision ensued and both were sliding down hill. A grand ensemble— the thin man underneath, the fat woman and bundles on top.
W hen the bottom was reached and the woman was trying, in vain, to recover her breath and her feet, these faint words were borne to her ears:
“Pardon me, madam, but you will have to get off here. This is as far as I go.”
A school principal was trying to make clear to his class the fundamental doctrines of the Declaration of Independence.
“Now, boys,” said he, “I will give you each three ordinary buttons. Here they are. You must think of the first one as representing Life, of the second one as representing Liberty, and the
Bishop Weber Save Labels Majestic Candy Kid
Real Estate, Insurance and Loans and Pink Lady Can Goods and get a rubber apron free
No. 8 East Broadway LANDAU GROCERY CO.
Bell 220 W. H. Griesbaum
Dietschys Grocery Co. The popular Priced
Staple and Fancy Groceries Dry Cleaners and Dyers
500 Ridge St. Alton, Illinois 24 East Broaday Alton, Illinois
PROMPT SERVICE, 8 CHAIRS SANITARY METHODS Ladies and Children Hair Bobbing a Specialty
Frank P. Bauer, Barber Supplies
Columbia Grafanolas Records and Sheet Music Central Shaving Parlor 638 E. Broadway
W. J. PETERS, 110-W 3rd Ed w. Dalton, Prop.
Always displaying the newest novelties and a most complete showing of Dry Foods, Notions, Ready-to-wear, Millinery, Men’s Furnishings and Home Furnishings.
Youngs’ Dry Goods Co.
104-106 W. Third St. Alton, Illinoisthird one as representing the Pursuit of Happiness. Next Sunday I will ask you each to produce the three buttons and tell me what they represent.”
The following Sunday the teacher said to the youngest member: “Now, Johnnie, produce your three buttons and tell me what they stand for.”
“I ain’t got ’em all,” he sobbed, holding out two of the buttons. “Here’s Life, an’ here’s Liberty, but mommer sewed the Pursuit o’ Happiness on my pants.”
He: “The rouge is rather thick on your cheeks, my dear?”
She: “Well, you don’t have to rub it in.”
Mr. Sutherland, in his Physics class, was giving a lecture to the pupils, who, every time he turned his back, started to talk. Being unable to bear the situation any longer, he said, “Now Pm not used to having pupils talk out loud in my classes. I don’t care if you whisper once in a while, so I’ll give you permission to do this also. If you haven’t a pencil, I don’t mind if you write a note to your neighbor and ask for his pencil.”
JOHN CO BECK IN ENGLISH CLASS
John C.: “You know, Miss Lowrv, the only water they have
in Jerseyville is this ‘Antisian’ water.”
We hope John will come around to class before long and tell us just what “Antisian” water is.
Miss Williamson (while studying banking) : Philip, what is the
Philip G. (coming to) : “A balance? Why a balance is a scale.”
Mr. Oertli: “What is hard water?”
Ralph Koch : “Ice.”
Miss W. (seeing it was raining) : “Allen, go out and close the
windows on my car.”
Allen leaves, but soon returns, and says the machine isn’t there.
Miss W.: “Oh, that’s right. I put it in the garage this
To WEAR a cheerful countenance at all times and to give everyone a smile is a sure road to happiness and friendships worth while.—Selected.
113Sotier Furniture Co.
Complete Home Furnishers
300-308 Broadway Alton, Illinois
The Burt Laundry
Laundry and Dry Cleaning
You need relief from tiresome household task. Every woman who keeps house should have electrical and gas servants.
A Few Suggestions:
Electrical Washing Machine, Electrical Vacuum Cleaner, Electrical Iron, Gas Range, Gas Water Heater, Gas Laundry Stove
Easy Monthly Payments
Alton Gas Electric Company
Henry L. Berger Alton Tire Sales Company
Jeweler and Watch Maker Distributes
Watches, Jewelry and Diamonds Kelley Springfield and
653 E. Broadway Federal Tires
Phone 2253-J. 555-557 Broadway
Photographs of Quality Portrait and Commercial Photographs—W. M. Reiss
Alton, IllinoisA BIRD STORY
A man went into a certain hotel to buy his dinner.
Finally he called to the waiter, “Waiter,” he said, “a little bird told me that this coffee is cold.”
Waiter (surprised) : “What kind of bird, sir?”
“A swallow,” was the calm reply.
In the English class, the discusion concerned the treatment toward dumb creatures. John Cobeck said that he enjoyed wringing a chicken’s neck. Miss Perrin was horrified. “Why John,” she exclaimed, “I couldn’t even cook or fry a chicken, much less wring its neck.”
“Say,” replied John, “I’d hate to be your husband.”
Miss Clark: “What is the source of wool?”
Virginia C.: “Sheep.”
Miss Clark: “Where does the best part of the wool grow?”
Virginia C.: “In the Rocky Mountains.”
The bobbed-haired vamp—Glendola Vassier.
The shiek of dog town—Carl Appel.
The “Wrigley” (gum) queen of high school—Helen Madsen. Three ounces shy being an elephant—Herbert Forcade.
The Eternal Flame—Lois Stevenson.
Gone But Not Forgotten—Spence Cantrill.
A bit of paint, a cunning curl;
A dust of powder, a pretty girl,
A drop of rain, away it goes—
A homely girl with a freckled nose.
Bob Luly: “It’s a cinch my ancestors didn’t leap from limb
Mary C.: “Can you keep a secret?”
B.: “I’ll tell the world.”
Advancement: “Today I have been twenty-five years in your
“Yes. And look how you have risen. When you began you only got 100 marks a month—and now you get 1,000,000.
Championships are only won by careful planning, persistent effort and loyal co-operation of all concerned. The many national and world’s records which have been won with WESTERN ammunition are a credit, not only to the Western Cartridge Company but to everyone of the hundreds of employees and thousands of loyal Alton citizens whose assistance and support have made them possible. It will pay all of us to boost for
High School and College Clothes
in authoritative models
Two Trousers with all Suits
Louis J. Hartman
117 West Third St.
Butter-Krust and Family-Loaf Bread
Velvet Ice Cream
“At All Good Dealers’RELUCTANCE
“I understand that you have a new motor car.”
“Do you drive it yourself?”
“Nobody drives it. We coax it.”
He ran within the speed limit, honked his horn at every corner, and kept to the right. —Care.
NOT WORTH MENTIONING
Philip: “My man, I think you are one of the most self-con-
trolled men I have ever seen.”
“You seem to have an awful lot of trouble with your flivver. You get angry with it, and yet you never swear at it.”
“Well, you see, it’s this way. I don’t think the flivver is worth a damn.” —Princeton Tiger.
HOW SOME PEOPLE’S DIRECTIONS SOUND
“Oh. you turn to the left and turn to the right,
And you turn to the left, said he;
Then you turn to your left and turn to your right, ’Til you come to a cherry tree.
Then you turn to your left and turn to your right, ’Til you come to the second bend.
Then you turn to your left and turn to your right. And you’d better ask again.”
“Nobody ever added up The value of a smile;
We know how much a dollar’s worth.
And how much is a mile;
We know the distance to the sun,
The size and weight of earth;
But no one here can tell us just How much a smile is worth.”
Miss Clark (in the sewing class, speaking about a pattern ) :
“L-----, bring your back here and I'll see whether it matches
117Compliments of C. J. Jacoby College Inn Confectionery Ice Cream Soda Bakery Goods Meals Lunches on College at Main Phone 876-W.
Jungk Bros. FORD
DRY GOODS COMPANY The Universal Car
Ladies’ Stylish Apparel Alton Automobile Company
Alton, Illinois 4th and Piasa Streets
ALTON EVENING TELEGRAPH
Alton’s First and Largest Newspaper Reaches 7000 Homes
Full Associated Press Service Full N. E.A. Feature Service
A Home Newspaper Newsy and Clean First in Sports
ARROW BRAND FLOUR
Makes Better Bread Ask Your Grocer
Sparks Milling CompanyA WIFE’S INTUITION
lie (attempting to start car): “This darned self-starter will
not work. There is a short circuit in it somewhere.’'
She: “W ell, why don’t you lengthen it. clear?"
Where there's a nail there’s a puncture.
A day’s work a day keeps the sheriff away.
An ounce of will is better than a pound of repairs.
“Cars wrecked here” reads a Topeka garage sign. They do a good job of it, too.
After all, it’s better to keep still and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubts.
Give the boy everything he wants and some day he’ll want a pardon from the Governor.
If you are going to be run over by an automobile, why not select one driven by a doctor.
The best advice we can offer to motorists these days is to have your punctures in a shady spot.
Which leads us to suggest that be it ever so worn out. there’s nothing like some kind of a spare to limp home on.
Four carpenters and three painters were at work on a Milwaukee house the other day and there were seven automobiles parked out in front. That’s where your money goes.
One of our neighbors, who has recently purchased a new car. reports that while out for a ride the other Sunday, he noticed a queer bumping on the right side, and asked his wife to step out and see if any of the tires were llat. She looked at all of the tires and reported that the right hind one was flat on the bottom, but just real nice and round everywhere else.
ALTON THE ROAD
Humpty Dumpty sat at the wheel
Of a wicked looking automobile;
lie gave her the gas instead of the brakes.
But he won’t make any more mistakes.
A motorist. John Henry Hatch,
Examined his tank with a match—
Though deploring his fate.
We are glad to relate—
The insurance was paid with dispatch.
liyFor Concrete Reinforcement Use
Laclede Rail Steel Bars
Hoops and Bands Hot and Cold Rolled Steel Railway Axels and Forgings
Laclede Steel Company
Works: General Office:
Alton, Illinois Arcade Bldg.
Madison, Illinois St. Louis, Mo.
East St. Louis, Illinois
The Equitable Powder M’F’G. Co.
General Offices: East Alton, Illinois Alton Dynamite
Alton Blasting Powder Black Diamond Permissibles
Literature sent on request
Fine Sqibs, Blasting Caps, Electric Blasting Machines, Leading and Connecting Wires, Charcoal
Mills: East Alton, 111. Marion, 111. Ft. Smith, Ark.MISS LOWRY’S INFORMATION ABOUT LITERATURE
The most cheerful author—Samuel Smiles.
The noisiest of authors—Howells.
The tallest author—Longfellow.
The most flowery author—Hawthorne.
The holiest author—Pope.
The most amusing author—Thomas Tikell.
The happiest author—Gay.
The most fiery author—Burns.
The most talkative author—Chatterton.
The most neighborly author—Guest.
“It’s too deep for me,” grumbled the absent minded teacher ?s he fell into an open man-hole.
We would like to pull that one about a mouse trap, but it’s t o snappy to tell.
“I’m entering society,” said the oyster, as it went down t le throat of Mrs. Vanderbilt.
“My time has come,” muttered the nervous Freshman as he walked down to the mail box, opened a package, and pulled out a watch.
The Joke Editor asks that all contributions be handed in on tissue paper so the readers can see thro’ them.
Mac: “Did you take a shower bath?’
Spence: “No, is one missing?”
“Speaking of bathing in famous springs,” said the tramp, “I bathed in the spring of ’36.”
Spence: “Between the twro of us, what do you think of her?” Walt.: “Not so good, but alone I’d love her.”
He: “You look sw'eet enough to eat.
She: “I do! Where shall we go?”
Said One: “What makes you so small ?”
Said Another: “They fed me on canned milk, and now I’m
121Gifts for all occasions
Birthdays, Weddings, Graduation
QUALITY SERVICE PRICE
The Gift Store
He Auto Know Better
You may venture a kiss in a “Kissel” Car—
Tis done by the young and erratic.
You may gaze at the “Moon” in a “Willys-(K)night”
And thrill with emotion ecstatic.
You may act like a Cad in a “Cadillac”—
'Tis done by the youth of all nations ;
And when you reform, just turn over a “Paige”
And resolve to “Dodge” Satan’s temptations.
You may huddle up close in a “Hudson” Six—
It is done by the giddy we find;
You may burn up the dust in a big “Cole Eight”
For the Coal leaves the “N(a)sh” behind;
But if your soul yearns for a nice quiet drive In the bus of the Undertaker,
Just drive out some night with a friend and a “Case” And get stewed in a “Studebaker.”
BEALL TOOL COMPANY
Heavy Hammers, R. R. Track Tools, Bars, Picks, Mattocks, Grub Hoes, Blacksmiths’ Anvil Tools, etc.
Rome was not built in a day. Neither can the Tatler be composed and published in so short a time. It has only been due to the combined efforts of many individuals that this Tatler could be produced. Therefore, we take this opportunity of thanking them.
We wish especially to thank Miss Burnett and Miss Lowry. I am sure we can never forget Miss Burnett’s excellent coaching of the Junior Play or Miss Lowry’s capable supervision and indispensable help during the year. Then, too, we wish to thank other members of the faculty who have helped us at different times, besides all the members of the student body who contributed in either a financial or literary way.
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