Alma College - Almafilian Yearbook (St Thomas, Ontario Canada)

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Qpeom N 09 56930 A skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off. A miracle is something that someone does that cannot be done. In the United States-criminals are put to death by elocution. Acrimony Ksometimes called holyl is another name for marriage. Excommunication means that no one is allowed to speak to someone. Christians are only allowed one wife. This is called monotony. All brutes are imperfect animals. Man alone is a perfect beast. When you breathe you inspire. When you do not breathe you expire. An equinox is a cross between a horse and an ox. A volcano is the creator smoking. A monologue is a conversation between two people such as husband and wife Examination Howlers: A tailor was sending an order by mail for two of those small irons termed ngoosesu. He wrote: nPlease send me two tailor's gooses.n It didn't look right, and so he rewrote it: nPlease send me two tailor's geese.W Reading it over, he decided that it was worse than the first. Finally he wrote: WPlease send me one tailor's goose.N NP.S. Send me another one just like it.H Diet Table ----- by Isabel Alexander I hopped on the scales as gay as could be, I started back, frightened, my poundage to see. Surely, oh, surely this weight can't be mine! Why wasn't I born like the type that just pine, Worry and worry, grow thinner and thinner, And never must go without any dinner? The problem of slimmers did worry me sore. The answer was, simply, NDon't eat any more.n I sit at the table reserved for the maiden Whose figure is rather too heavily laden, And ply myself with a measuring tape, All for the sake of my unruly shape. Poppy: HMy Scotch boyfriend sent me his picture yesterday.n Marg: nHow does it looK?u Poppy: NI can't tell: I haven't had it developed yet.H WWhy does the man in the moon never give his wife any money?N I WBecause he has only four quarters and he needs them all to get full on.W A dramatic critic gives the best jeers of his life to the theater. Billie: HA train just passed here.n Reubena: WHow do you know?N Billie: WI see its tracks.n 45

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thfng about Bea Farrow: M1 s R.: 'I hope you were polite when you went Elizabeth: '0h, I was very polite. Every time had enough to eat yet, E11zabeth?' I said 'No, Thora: 'what is your ankle for?' Jean: 'I don't know: what?' Thora: 'Why, silly--to keep your calves out Girl below practice room: 'IT you donft stop playing that piano, D111 ent Practiser: out to tea, El1zabeth.' she said, 'Haven't you thank ycu.' of your corn, of coursei' I'll go crazyl' ' uess s too late. I stopped playing an hour ago.' '0h, what a time we had! I just don't know how I ever cams through! First, 1 got angina pactoris, and then double pneumonia, followed by arteriosclerosis and phthisis, after which they gave me hypodermics. Then I had barely recovered from these when I got tuberculosis, with appendicites, followed by tonsillotomy. Yes, indeed, it was the hardest spelling contest I've ever had. Birth: A Middle-school wit thinks it up and rI?tE formers in Study Hell. laughs aloud, waking up two H a 5 minutes: Tells it to e Senior who answers: 'It's funny, but I've ea efore.' a e l da : Sr. turns lt in to school magazine--joke is printed. A e I month: Thirteen other school magazines print it. A e 5 ears: Seventy-seven radio comedians e , accompanied by howls of mirth from 135.00 a howll. e 100 ears: Teachers start telling it in t e pe o age of sixty-five years, three A Ghostl M stake: discover it simultaneously, the boys in the orchestra class. !This has reached months, and seven daysl. ran an arby took a late leave one night and went to London. They returned later than usual, and missed the last L. B P. S. They decided to walk home. On the way, Darby spoke: 'I say! Ne're in a cemetery, here's a 'Whose is it?' asked Frank. gravestone.' Darby struck a match. 'I don't know, but he died at an early age- l5.' 'See who it is,' said Frank. Another match was struck, and Darby looked. 'I don't know him: some fellow called Miles from London.' Officer: 'You've been doing eighty miles an the law?' 'why, Officer, how can I tell? 'Jean, who was Anne Boleyn?' 'Anne Boleyn was a flat iron.' 'What on earth do you mean?' ean: e l, it says here in the history of Catherine, pressed his suit with ADD8 mi s Hard : can Sm t : Ufse Hard : .5 .5 hour. Don't you care any- I've only just met youl' book: 'Henry, having disposed Bo1eyn.