Alfred Almond High School - Alcen Yearbook (Almond, NY)

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VOL. XIII ALCEN CIRCUS QUARTERS lender Jhe (f3icj Jop JUNE I 3, 1967 WHERE IS BUBBLES? The circus opening this week will miss the fabulous Betsey Bubbles Burdett and her dance of the Seven Bubbles. Jean Hot Garters Erskine will be replacing her. The grapevine has it that Bubbles has run off with her manager, John Mulligan. ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION Bud DeLavergne famous for his huge bulk as the Fat Man , is going to hold a large party for all the circus employ- ees, celebrating the thirteenth year of the circus. Jack Harvey, famous for his spaghetti and meat balls, will be the chef. Ruth Carnes will assist him and serve some of her delicious pastries. We can only hope her cream puffs turn out better than the last ones. She says the only mistake she made was using ten teaspoonfuls of baking powder and the re- cipe called for only three. She wondered why they rose so high. SKYSCRAPER FALLS Phil Skyscraper Baker had a terrific fall last evening and was discovered to be wearing stilts. He is actually a midget and not the tall man he claim- ed he was. He tripped over Lois Heers, the giraffe trainer, who was doing her daily push- ups. She was said to be suffer- ing from shock, for he almost stepped upon her. MONKEYS VS. CLOWNS Star clown, Ernest Stuart, is working hard at a new act. It’s going to involve some monkeys trained by Ernest Pierce. The two men feel it should go off with a bang. They want the act to be tak- ing place while Sally Zimmer is doing her bareback riding, but Sally doesn't seem to agree. She says monkeys are bad enough, but clowns are another thing. LOVE IS DEEPER THAN PEANUT OIL Gladys Chips Pierce is being held by Police Chief, Ken Stebbins, for questioning in the attempted murder of her husband, Norman Payne. She pushed him into the vat of peanut oil which she uses to make her world-famous potato chips. Dot Diver Ormsby dived into the vat and pulled Norman, who can't swim, to the surface, saving his life. Said Gladys, roll- ing her eyes at Chief Stebbins, She saved him, and she can have him. Dot's only re- gret was that she lost her nose plugs when she dived. GOOD SHOT Jugglers, Stacy Pierce and Ruth Watson, were practicing the other day when Ruth lost control of one of the tenpins and hit Stacy on the head. He went out like a light. As he was coming to, he said all he could see was stars ( it must have been everyone in the circus. ) All Ruth could say was that it couldn't hap- pen to a nicer guy. COBRA CASHES IN Camille Charmer Cro- foot is mourning the death of her pet cobra as the result of biting him this afternoon in a fit of rage. It is said that circus owner Russ Allen re- fused to give her star billing over Doris Van Duser, the the bearded lady. She is being consoled in her tent, so we hear,, by Don Lewis, who burn- ed a whole batch of popcorn to rush to her side. Russ Allen's only comment, when contact- ed by this paper, was, Good one. RACE TO A WEDDING Dick Flash Wasson brought a fitting finish to his midget- racing career by winning a race this afternoon. He was racing neck and neck with Fred Lead- foot Van Orman, former track star. This was Flash's final race, because he is giving it up to wed Mary Ellen Hargraves, trapeze artist, this Sunday at the track. Said Mary Ellen, He can't have me and his rac- ing, too. Fred stated that if he hadn't had a hole in his sneaker, he would have beaten Flash by a mile. BEASTS GET THE BETTER OF MAN Marvelous Marvin Patton, world-famous lion tamer and feature attraction of the circus, barely missed death today when he was attacked from behind by one of his lions. He was saved by his wife, Patty Ide, who kayoed the lion with one swift blow. Patty has been Eugene Muscles Briggs sparring part- ner. When Patty isn't available Muscles boxes with the circus kangaroo but he doesn't like to because the kangaroo usually wins. HOAX DISCOVERED Ronald and Donald Brundage were ousted from the grounds today. Supposedly Siamese twins, they were found sepa- rately by Detective Margie Dunn. She was quoted as say- 24 ing, I always get my man. Circus doctor, Paul Spencer, was the first to suspect the twins when he discovered that they had different colored eyes. BEBOP TO PARIS Circus band leader, Ed Palmer, announced today that vocalist, Bob Newman will have star bil- ling in the August show. Along with Bob, there will be Hot Lips Jerry Stockweather, who will play his famous bebop num- ber on his magic clarinet. Bob will return to Paris later in the fall for further study. Palmer hopes to have him back in the show early the following spring. ADAM'S APPLE OBTAINED Dave Fenner is recuperating from a bad fall he suffered when he toppled into a tub of cold water belonging to Sid Clair and his candied apple stand. It seems that Balloon Man , as Fenner is sometimes called, was chasing some balloons that had . slipped away from him. As he fell into the tub, he swallowed an apple, and finally obtained an Adam's apple. Poor Sidney reports that Dave must have swallowed more than one, be- cause he's missing a dozen. Compliments to the Class of 1954 THE COLLEGIATE Alfred, New York

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Witt and Testament We, the members of the Center Ring of Alfred-Almond Central School hereby bequeath our precious belongings to the rest of the Troupe. Russell Allen leaves his pitching ability to Karl Grantier, the sole hope of next year’s team. Ronald Brundage wills his quietness to Betty Bittner, one of our most talkative students. Donald Brundage bequeaths his good manners to Bob Myers who has them but they just don't show. Eugene Briggsgives his muscles to David Palmer. We hope he can find some use for them. Sidney Clair sadly leaves his wavy hair to Steve Easton who can't help it if his hair is straight. Camille Crofoot gladly gives her position as Editor to some poor Junior who thinks it's an honor. Philip Baker wills his teeth to Bruce Hitchcock to replace the ones he lost in a baseball game. Betsey Burdett returns tissues to the Health Room for all the ones that she has borrowed. Charles DeLavergne sends his feet to Floyd Farley so he can win the Barker meet next year. Marjorie Dunn bequeaths friendliness to Simon Aldrich. He doesn't need it, but Marge didn't want to leave any- thing else. Jean Erskine gives her smile to Jim Bushnell who we hope will use it as much as she did. Ruth Carnes leaves her riding ability to Audrey Hurd although she's an excellent rider. David Fenner leaves some of his hair to Mr. Torrey who will need it, or should we say, does need itl Mary Ellen Hargraves wills her temper to David Mott who stays the same all of the time. Jack Harvey woefully leavesaffaires d'amourto Morris Meeks to make his life more exciting. Lois Heers gives sewing ability to Barbara Allen so that she won't have to go around in a barrel. Patricia Ide bequeaths her dungarees to Sally McLane who doesn't own a pair. Victoria Allen Ide leaves her single life to Pat Washburn. Donald Lewis sends his truck to Lindy so that he won't have to drive his Buick on those country roads. John Mulligan woefully leaves trips to the skating rink to Boo Post who would like to learn how. Bob Newman presents his track trophies to Peter Leathersich who looks at them wistfully. Dorothy Ormsby leaves her haircut to Sharon Roberts who insists that she will never have hers cut. Marvin Patton just leaves. Norman Payne bequeaths his fat wallet to Scott Weinland who's always borrowing. Ernest Pierce drops his cigarette cough in the lap of Joan Gilmore Gladys Pierce presents her cooking to the arsenic crew (cafeteria staff). Stacy Pierce leaves his freckles to Zona. We want to keep them in the family. Paul Spencer gives his comb to Joe Salisbury. We stole it one rare moment when Paul wasn't looking in the mirror. Ken Stebbins wills his cackle to the hens of the underclassmen who really don't need it. Jerry Stockweather sends his car to Mr. Phelan. We wouldn’t want him to miss school next year. Ed Palmer sadly forfeits his ruggedness to Warnie Harvey to make him the school's strong man. Jim Marvin leaves his black hair to Sharon Mason so she won't have to use any dye. Ernest Stuart leaves Thacherville to Janie Thacher to whom it rightly belongs. Doris Van Duser adds her height to Nancy Minnick's so that it might make her tall. Fred Van Orman gives his walk to Virginia Buchanan who also has a walk of her own. Ruth Watson wills her high jumping ability to Nancy Van Duser who will star in high jumping as well as broad jumping. Dick Wasson leaves his nickname to someone else. He's all through with it. Sally Zimmer would like to leave her clothes but she's afraid she might be cold. We, the Senior witnesses, have set our lawful and legal signature to this, our Last Will and Testament on the Twenty- first day of June, 1954. RLusnyyv, Qjtt, (ScLLtjyu • ai' L ■ '

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