Garnet and Gray
THE STUDENTS OF THE ALBANY HIGH SCHOOL
YAVITS MR. RUSSELL
The Students of the
ALBANY HIGH SCHOOL
dedicate this issue of the GARNET AND
GRAY through a deep appreciation
of their service.
GARNET AND GRAY STAFF
PAUL D. DAVIS, '23
CHARLOTTE LEONARD, '24
ROBERT L. LINCOLN, '23
HELEN L. HYNES, '23
GEORGE BUTMAN, '24
Assistant Business Manager
ESTHER BOOKHEIM, '24
DORCAS A. HAGER, 23
EDNA NELLEGAR, '23
RENA BAKER, '23
HUBERT MILLER, '23
MILTON KNOX, '23, Chairman SERENA MCNUTT, '23, Chairman
JOHN VAN STRAUB ,
LESTER MOSTON, '23, Chairman
DORCAS HAGER, Chairman
EDNA NELLEGAR, Chairman
GEORGE BUTMAN, Chairman
HELEN L. HYNES, Chairman
ALFRED W. LINCOLN
ALLAN T. COOK
GARNET AND GRAY
ALBANY, N. Y.
Vol. X December, 1922 No. 1
Cover Design .... ..... B y Miss EDNA M. NELLEGAR
Dedication ....... ....... ..... 3
The Garnet and Gray Staff ..... 4
The Eve of Christmas .... 6
Editorials ........... 7
School Events .... 9
Sketches .. . . . 17
jokes . .... . 28
Exchanges . . . . 34
Alumni Notes .... . 35
Advertisements . . . . 37
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THE GARNET AND GRAY 7
3 W Illlllllllllllllltllllllllllllllllll 'iniwu mnmum glint i ii ki ui U i W K
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In offering this issue of the GARNET AND GRAY, it is with the hope
and expectation that although there were no Christmas and Spring numbers
last year, the school itself has lost neither interest nor capacity for Work.
Last year the staff was able to publish only the one Senior issue. But
that in itself wnas a splendid example of the high quality of former publica-
tions. This year it has be-en decided to edit, in all, three issues: a Christmas
and a Spring publication, climaxed by a tinal graduation number.
The staff realizes that the success of these issues, in respect to both
financial and literary contributions, depends in a large measure on the
complete coordination of the student body. By this response the degree
of the pupils' interest is estimated. The work of our predecessors has
caused the standard of this paper to be elevated to an enviable plane among
other scholastic publications. Since the opportunity to gain experience
was limited last year, we shall, at all times, gladly receive instructive criti-
cism, which will secure the maintenance of this undertaking, and at the
same time be beneficial to the publications themselves. The success of
these editions can be achieved only by combining a singleness of purpose
with a unity of effort. Therefore let us combine our efforts for the advance-
ment of our paper with material aid and with true school spirit.
PAUL DAVIS, '23
THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS
True Christmas spirit produces delightful and exhilarating effects on
the individual of average circumstances and intelligence. VVho can remain
despondent when confronted by its contagious merriment, and who is not
8 THE GARNET AND GRAY
warmed by the radiance from its magnetic influence? The troubled are
soothed, the weary invigorated, and the sorrowful cheered by it.
The range and influence of the Christmas spirit is wider, and its power
greater than that of any other holiday in the year. It penetrates to all
classes of people, to localities in which the spirit of other holidays holds a
place of no importance, and lends a delightfully festive atmosphere of good-
will to the actions and motives of everyone who possesses ity so that the
people with whom he is in contact are necessarily better for having asso-
ciated with him.
At last we are commencing probably the most enjoyable and the most
anticipated season of the year, and we have concluded that the best motto
for it is one that is commonplace but especially favored by our noble cheer
leader: " Get some spirit into this, now! "
CHARLOTTE LEONARD, '24
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?
As soon as we were old enough to understand, our mothers told us
about a kindly white whiskered old gentleman, who was very fat and wore
a red fur-trimmed hat and suit. This fact often made us wonder how
he could slide down the small opening of the chimney, as mother said
he did, and H11 the stockings, which we had expectantly placed before the
fire-place, from a magic sack, which he carried on his back.
When we arrived at the advanced age of eight years, having been
told by playmates that there was no Santa Claus, we decided to lie awake
and find out the true facts for ourselves. This we did and soon discovered,
with breaking hearts, our parents distributing presents and trimming the
tree, and we decided we had solved the mystery of Santa Claus. Now
we were sure there wasn't any Santa Claus and from that time on, we
laughed in scorn at all reference to him.
But do we remember what Santa Claus originally meant to us? He
was kindness and generosity. For no reason whatever he would come
around distributing gifts and happiness at Christmas time. Hundreds of
years ago there was a true Santa Claus. Because he so admired the kindli-
ness and generosity of Christ, Saint Nicholas did his 'best to imitate him
and went about distributing his wealth a.mong the poor. After his death
his goodness did not go for naught. People seeing the happiness derived
from the gifts, decided to keep up the custom established by Saint Nicholas,
and once a year on Christmas Day in almost all the homes in the world,
gifts are given in his memory and in his name. So you see there is really
a Santa Claus.
.ADALINE GERTSKIN, '25
THE GARNET AND GRAY 9
We started the football season this year with a new coach whose
methods were unknown to the players, about forty fellows who were built
with fight in their hearts but otherwise unqualified, and only three gruelling
battles from the cup. Mr. Clyde Russell looked us over and the light
was on. The group worked hard at Ridgefield every afternoon, coach and
men pulling together in a manner which was the envy of more than one
high school coach in the State.
We started the season by rolling up a Z0 to 6 score against Edison
Drafting School, a big bunch of huskies from Schenectady. Nine games
have been played since that day, a total that balanced in a 7 to 3 scale,
with 208 points scored by the champions and 99 for opponents. The annual
game with our arch-rival, the Albany Academy, was the only shutout of
the season, the tally being 26 to O.
The Alumni game was an occasion waited for and to be remembered
by all who saw it. It was anybody's game throughout the first half, but
lack of training began to tell and our boys stepped out in front. For more
reasons than one that game will be remembered. Every time the lines
crashed a few more reasons developed. The following Saturday we played
in Gloversville. The circumstances were investigated by the A. A. U.
officials, who decided not to count that score since the team Gloversville
put on the field was not representative of the High School.
This was certainly a crisis, it being conceded by the followers of the
league that the winner of the Gloversville-Albany game would be champions.
We played the game over at Union College and defeated them to the tune
of '20 to 13 and drenched a confident bunch of rooters with gloom. In
the interim between the two Gloversville games we beat Troy High at Troy
on a rock-bottom field. This game was the first in which our men approached
their characteristic form. No line charge was like ours. Albany had a
brand of tackling all its own-and the coordination between backfield and
line was commented upon by several college coaches.
We gave the Union Frosh the toughest gridiron battle of their schedule,
according to their Captain and Coach, holding them to a 13 to 6 win. The
Troy Conference Academy defeated our lineup at Poultney, Vt. The trip
was an experience worth having, but the team was in no condition to play
the game they did after covering the eighty-five miles. NVe certainly
showed that school what we're made of when in the third period the second
squad made a track meet out of it and ploughed that bunch of ex-high-school
stars up the field for a touch-down, and down again to lose the ball on the
one yard line and then tackle the kicker behind his own goal line which
made our 9 points to stand against 26.
Our defeat of Gloversville at Alexander Field gave us the hard won
10 THE GARNET AND GRAY
privilege to play Cambridge, the champions of the more northern corner
of the State, and a team with a reputation. They probably knew little about
the type of game we played and we knew less about them. In that game
our team played football which would do honor to a college team. It would
have been a shutout fAlbany, 455 if it hadn't been for a fumble which
presented the opportunity for their single touch-down, they were given
the point for the drop kick because Albany was off-side, making their tally
7 and us the champions of N. E. N. Y.
We closed the season on the field at Chadwick by defeating Newburgh
Free Academy, the champions of the Hudson Valley, 23 to 14. The team
deserves all the praise we can possibly give them, and Folks, " We have a
silver football, we have the cheers of a multitude and their handshakesg
but we have more than thatg we have a group of fellows than whom you
will find no better sportsmen, no truer friends nor honorable men this
side of Kingdom Come." And we'll have to blame Coach Russell.
HUBERT V. MILLER, '23
Albany High School Athletic Association
Balance on hand, September 1, 1922 .,........... .. S431 79
Student ....... 971 00
Associate .... 16 50
Football ..,.. 397 68
Basketball ....... 913 O2
' Baseball ........... 26 08
Miscellaneous receipts .. 314 08
Total receipts ...... 33,070 15
Football ..... ................ . . S740 75
Basketball 726 46
Track ....... 235 60
Baseball ......... l9l 35
Girl's Athletics .. 44 07
Bleachers . ..... 436 17
Cross Country 60 00
Miscellaneous . ............. .. 531 86
Total Disbursements . ...... ...... R2 ,966 26
Balance on hand, September 1, 1922. .... S103 89
,BANY HIGH SCHOOL
TBALL SQUAD, AI
THE GARNET AND GRAY
FOOTBALL ScoRES, 1922 SEASON
' Game Date A. H. S. Opp.
Edison Draft. S. Sept.
Alumni . ......., Oct.
Gloversville . .... Oct. fThrown out.D
Union Frosh. .... ..., O ct.
Troy High .... Oct. CLeague.J
Troy Conference Nov
Academy ...... Nov
Gloversville . . . Nov. fLeague.D
Cambridge . . Nov. CN. E. N. Y. S. Champ.J
Newburg ... Nov. CEastern N.Y.S.Champ.j
SENIOR CLASS NOTES
The class of '23, after experiencing the first three years of preliminary
high school education, have at last gained, by their untiring efforts, the
name of " high and mighty Seniors," and with that cherished title the
privilege of class organization.
In exercising this privilege, the Senior Class have selected the fol-
lowing as representatives of that illustrious body:
President, Hubert B. Millerg Vice-President, Dorcas A. Hager, Record-
ing Secretary, Raymond Haynes, Corresponding Secretary, Rosella Lynchg
Treasurer, Earl Whitbeckg Reporter, Albert C. I-Iogle.
The amount of dues has been decided, and a committee is at work
selecting the pins and rings.
Great things in the line of dramatics is expected from the Senior Class
at the annual Christmas Public which is being arranged by Professors
Howe and Oliver. ,
We all agreed with our President when he said, "I want to make this
one of he best Senior Classes ever graduated from the Albany High
School." A. HOGLE
The Albany High School has taken a great step, in fact a long stride,
in the direction of public recognition of American patriots, when it insti-
tuted the observance of Roosevelt Day. Great credit should be given Mr.
Cook, the library staff, and the several student committees for their assist-
ance in making this day a success.
In every English class throughout the school, programs, by Roosevelt,
for Roosevelt and about Roosevelt were given. His creed was displayed
in a conspicuous place in every room. In one class some pupils acted out
an incident in his life. In others anecdotes were read, and in several
classes Edith Wharton's beautiful poem " With the Tide " was read. No
THE GARNET AND GRAY 13
two programs were the same, thanks to the kind assistance of Miss Houghton
and Miss Riley.
l felt, and I'm surewe all felt, a keen delight in the variety of pro-
grams offered. May the affectionate feeling, now so strong, toward Roose-
velt never die, and may his day and the days of other men who made
and maintained America, be remembered again and again by High School
THETA SIGMA NOTES
Theta Sigma has enjoyed a most successful term under the following
officers: President, Marjorie Greenman, Vice-President, Harriet Frost,
Critic, Dorcas Hager, Recording Secretary, SerenaMcNutt, Corresponding
Secretary, Hilda Sarr, Senior Editor, Helen Tompkins, First Junior Edi-
tor, Anne Adams, Second Junior Editor, Ruth Sutton, Assistant Corre-
sponding Secretary, Miriam Baker, Marshal, Harriet Parkhurst.
Interesting quotations, dissertations and similar literary work as well
as sketches, have been the features of the programs arranged by the Senior
Sigma's annual fall dance was held on Armistice Day with suitable
decorations. It was held in the corridors and the music was furnished by
Miss Hart's orchestra.
VVhen the championship football game with Cambridge was played at
Union College, Sigma lent generous support and enthusiasm.
The greatest triumph of the term was the management of the Colgate
Glee Club Concert. This was held in the High School auditorium under
the auspices of Alpha and Sigma, was largely attended and a great success.
This is the end of the term: Sigma hopes that the year will end as well
as it has begun.
To Robert L. Lincoln fell the task of leading 'Logia during the Fall
term. " Bob " worked hard and succeeded admirably in keeping 'Logia on
that high level where she has for so many years stood invincible, namely:
the best Literary society in A. H. S.
Honorary night, the banner literary event of the First term was one
of the best in years. Harlowe H. Metzgar, critic, arranged the program
which included a declamation by Donald C. Pratt, a reading by " Wee Bob "
Hunter, humorous reading by Harlowe H. Metzgar, addresses by some of
the Old Philologians, who attended in a body, and a debate, Resolved, That
the proposed St. Lawrence Ship Canal would be beneficial to the United
States. The negative, and winners, was composed of Captain and third
14 THE GARNET AND GRAY
speaker, Raymond J. Haynes, second speaker, Richard J. McCarty, first
speaker, Francis R. Canfield. The affirmative was arrayed: Captain and
third speaker, John T. Maher, jr., second speaker, Earl R. Whitbeck and
first speaker, Robert L. Lincoln. Captain Harold Stines' orchestra fur-
nished the music.
The officers during the first term were: President, Robert L. Lincoln,
Vice-President, John T. Maher, Critic, Harlowe H. Metzgar, Recording
Secretary, Raymond J. Haynes, Corresponding Secretary, Francis A.
Hogan, Treasurer, Francis R. Canfield, Senior Editor, Edward Hutchins,
Junior Editor, Kenneth Slocum, Senior Marshal, Spencer McCarty: junior
Marshal, VVilliam VVade, and reporter, Donald C. Pratt.
For the First time in years 'Logia looks for a basketball victory over
'Doxia. Among those playing on the first squad are the following 'Logiansz
" Dick " Lewis, " Pete " Metzgar, " Pop " Gloeckner, Harold Hermance
and George Payne.
The Fall Dance was the biggest social success of the season. It went
over with a bang. A dandy crowd was present and everyone had a good
time, even the censors.
'Logia wishes to congratulate coach Clyde A. Russell and every member
of the Albany High School Football squad which won the Eastern New
York State championship by defeating Newburg 23-14 at Chadwick park
on November 25.
THE FRENCH CLUB
The French Club started this year with a rush. It opened the season
by electing officers and the following were chosen: President, Miss Dorcas
Hager, Vice-President, Miss Evelyn Magee, Treasurer, Davis L. Shultes,
Secretary, Michael Tepedino. The membership this year is very large and
as more and more hear of the excellent programs arranged by the program
committee, headed by Miss Constance Beauman, the attendance steadily
increases. Plans are being made for the purchase of a new phonograph
to be used in the meetings.
At present, the club is looking forward with a great deal of expectancy
to the Christmas entertainment. This is an annual affair and very popular.
The plans this year are more elaborate than usual.
Miss Ruth Devlin has charge of the Club's library. The library in-
cludes many French books and magazines which all members of the club
may borrow. This material is of inestimable value in acquainting our
people with French customs and styles of literature. Recently, Dr. Cochrane
gave an illustrated lecture about Paris to the members.
All who are eligible are urged to join now and under the able leader-
ship of our president we shall carry the club through to a most successful
DAv1s L. SHULTEs, '23
THE GARNET AND GRAY 15
The boys have shown their worth in bringing home the football trophy
and placing it in the library, but wait! The girls haven't begun yet!
The regular basketball practice will be carried on until Christmas
vacation. The captains, managers and teams will soon be chosen for the
real games between classes after the holidays. As usual, the Juniors have
their eyes on the letters again. Are they going to get them? Come to the
games and see for yourself.
As for gym, girls, hard work is required of us to be a credit to that
new floor. It used to be an athletic stunt itself for our instructor to com-
mand our marching column over hills and around pitfalls in the old floor.
All that is past now, but the freshmen donlt know what they missed.
We girls have a newcomer to welcome in our Physical Education de-
partment, Miss Ward. She has already proved her ability for in spite of
the fact that Miss Gsburne was sent as a delegate to the convention at
Syracuse, Miss Ward managed the classes alone for a few days, no easy task.
Should there be a track meet later in the year, let's hope we can find
a few record-breakers in our midst and that there will be many worthy
of rewards and praise. '
RENA BAKER, '23
Doxia has started the school year with such a record of achievements
that a most successful season has been predicted for her. Under the leader-
ship of her former president, Howard B. Noyes, and the present incum-
bent, George J. Butman, the society has lived up to her reputation of doing
only the finest work.
The weekly meetings have been marked with brilliant orations and
livid debates which simply show that the organization is still upholding a
high standing of literary work.
In October the 53rd anniversary of the organization of the society
The biggest event was Honorary Night held on Friday, December 1.
The feature of the evening was a debate between Doxia and the Websterian
Literary and Debating Society of the Troy High School. The subject was,
" Resolved, That it would be to the best interests of the United States for
the government to own and operate the coal minesf' The Doxia team,
consisting of Howard B. Noyes, Captain and third speaker, William Ker-
nan, second speaker, George Gildersleeve, first speaker and Clarence Stott,
alternate, upheld the affirmative and because of their forceful presentation
and excellent arguments won the debate.
The annual Doxia dance was held on the following evening, Saturday,
December 2, and proved a tremendous success. H
16 THE GARNET AND GRAY
VVith such initiative Philodoxia expects to continue her excellent work
to include a victory over 'Logia on Boys' Day.
The present officers are: President, George Butman, Vice-President,
Davis L. Shultes, Treasurer, George Gildersleeve, Recording Secretary, Van
Straub, Corresponding Secretary, Marvin Smith, Senior Marshal, Burage
Stiles, Junior Marshal, Lester L. Moston, Senior Editor, Ronald Steeves,
Junior Editor, Clarence Stott, Reporter, James Hayes, Critic, Howard
THETA ALPHA NOTES
The first term has been a very successful one for Theta Alpha. Under
the able leadership of Rosella Lynch, Alpha has accomplished a great deal.
XVe have studied the lives and works of such poets as Shelley, Keats,
Wordsworth, Tennyson and Kipling. VVe also had several debates on cur-
The Alpha-Sigma spread was a great success and the good program
was enjoyed by all. However, the greatest event of the season was the
concert of the Colgate Musical Club presented jointly by Alpha and Sigma.
Wie express our sincere appreciation for the hearty cooperation of the
faculty, the various committees, the students and the alumni both of Col-
gate and A. H. S. all of whom contributed greatly to the tremendous success
of the occasion. We only hope that our next undertaking will be as
The present officers of Alpha are: President, Rosella Lynch, Vice-
President, Ruth Lemmle, Critic, Mildred Martin, Corresponding Secre-
tary, Edith Davis, Recording Secretary, Mildred McAllister, Senior Editor,
Ruth Devlin, Junior Editor, Edna Dewey, Second Junior Editor, Anna
Riley, Treasurer, Nettie Brucker, Assistant Corresponding Secretary, Anne
Lockwood, Marshal, Alice Donnelly, Reporter, Helen Dolan.
COMMERCE CLUB NOTES
The Commerce Club came into being through the loyal and faithful
efforts of the Commercial Seniors of the class of '22,
The small group of members who composed the Commerce Club at
the beginning of the present school term were also faithful- and began to
build it up, not only in numbers. but also in usefulness.
XYell, to make a long story short, it is a growing organization with
an unselfish motto of " service." A. HOGLE.
M, ,AL .14
THE GARNET AND GRAY l7
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is A I
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A HAPPY DISAPPOINTMENT
XVere you ever disappointed on Christmas? Did you ever run into
your living room on Christmas morning expecting to find a pair of skates
on shoes and a skating sweater but to your disappointment find a book
with a long, long name that meant nothing to you? XYas it the aunt who
always gave you just what you wanted? This happened to me and that's
why I felt out of sorts. Here, after all my hoping, my aunt sent me a
book. The instant I looked at the book I vowed I would not read or
open it. Qn Christmas night my aunt came to visit my mother and see
my gifts. I thanked her for the book but I think she noticed a tinge of
disappointment in my tone. She asked me if I had received the things
I wanted. 'When I told her that I was disappointed she looked rather
surprised but said nothing. The remainder of the winter I used my old
hockey skates and sweater. The skates were a constant trouble to me and
the sweater was not far from the appearance of a rag. The winter wore
away slowly and at last came spring. and then finally came summer. A
friend who was spending his vacation with us succeeded in interesting me
in reading. One day as we were looking over some of my books my friend
chanced upon the one my aunt had given me. Upon reading the name, my
friend who was somewhat older and had read a great deal said,
" Shame on you! Here is the best book you own, and it looks to me
as though it has never been opened. I don't believe you have read this,
have you? "
As he said this he opened the book. You can well imagine my
astonishment, pleasure, and shame when he slipped out two ten dollar
bills and a note written by my aunt. On the note was written " Merry
Christmas from your aunt. The money is for the skates and sweaterf,
The first thing I did was to get my hat and rush to my aunt's house and
l . I
18 TI-IE GARNET AND GRAY
apologize for what I had done. I also promised to read the book. She
only smiled in a knowing way and said,
"I mean to give you this set of books by giving you one every
Christmas. I hope you will enjoy them."
ON BEING SMALL
Who is there better able to describe the sensations of a small person
than one who is just merging from a rather abbreviated station in the world
of longitudinal measurement to a higher one. The beauty of this work is
that it is unbiased.
In those days when I was smaller than I am now-yet, as old appear-
ingg when I was called shrimp by even my best friends, when girls at dances
asked, just to be sociable, whether my Dad was small, too, or if I expected
to grow any moreg when my clothes were made to order and I wore shoes
made for boys, I must admit that I envied a tall person, but now, as I out-
grow that state, I miss many conveniences, known only to small persons.
It was just last week that upon discovering a parade, I started, in
an unconcerned manner, to push my way to the front of the crowd. Some-
one roughly pushed me back and asked if I thought I was the only one who
wanted to see the parade. A year ago, that same person would have helped
me through the crowd. A small man is in no one's way.
Did you ever stop to think how much more credit you give a small
person than a bigger one for knowing something? And, oh! how much
more lenient were the teachers when I was a " shrimp." They seem to
think a big person has more time to himself than a small one.
There is another advantage to being small that I blush to speak of,
and yet, because of its very importance, I must. It has to do with beds
and bed covers. They seem all to be made for small people. Well do I
remember the warmth and comfort that were mine on mornings gone by.
Now, in the summer, mosquitos, and, in the winter, jack Frost, play havoc
with my nether extremities which, despite all efforts on my part, succeed in
keeping themselves as devoid of covering as a band-player's head is of hair.
You may think, then, that a small person is perfectly satisfied with
his lot, but such is not the case. They think not of what they have, but
of what they have not. And so it is the world over. Since the time of
Adam, the small have wanted to be big, the big to be small, and those of
medium size larger or smaller. Even I, who have always desired to be
tall, sit down, on the eve of my wish's fulfillment, to write, not of the good
things to come, but of those left behind. Isn't there a trite old saying that
says " Such is life"?
Davis L. SHULTES, '23
THE GARNET AND GRAY 19
THE CHRISTMAS GIFT
lt was the evening before Christmas when Mrs. Dickson stepped from
her limousine, in front of a large apartment store on Fifth Avenue. She
seemed not to notice the happy people about her. As she passed the toy
window, she hesitated, and something like a sob seemed to come from
her. In front of the window a small girl of about nine years, stood gazing
at the beautiful dolls. She was dressed very poorly. Her hands wereyblue
from cold, but she was so engaged looking at the dolls, that she did not
mind it. Frequently her eyes rested on a coin she held carefully in her
hand. Mrs. Dickson passed the child and walked into the store.
mer shopping done Mrs. Dickson was about to leave the store, when
a group of people seemed to attract her attention. As she neared, she
found that the people were gathered about a small girl and the store
detective. She recognized having seen the girl before. The child frightened,
and almost in tears was clutching a necktie in her hand.
"NVhere did you get that tie?" asked the detective.
"I bought it for my sick brother for a Christmas present," was the
A' No, you didn'tg you took it."
" N-o, I didn'tg I bought it with my fifty cents."
" This tie cost no fifty cents, therefore that is a proof you took it."
They were about to take the child away, when Mrs. Dickson stepped
" Stop, you beast!" she said. "I saw this girl enter the store with
a fifty cent piece in her hand. I should think that you know the prices of
articles," she said, pointing to a sign which read, n
Closing Christmas Bargains
Neckties SOC. each.
The detective was very much surprised. The necktie was quickly
handed back to the child and the people began to clear away.
Vtfhat is your name?" asked Mrs. Dickson.
" Oh, Grace Stark," replied the child.
" What are you doing here all alone? Where is your mother? "
" Oh, my mo-ther, she-she is in heaven with my father."
L' XVhere is this brother I heard you speak about?"
" He is home sick. He could not go to work and he lost his job. And
he says that he don't think there is going to be much of a Christmas for
us. But I saved my money and I bought this necktie for him."
" XVhere do you live? "
"I live on -1 Street."
L' May I take you home? Wotild you like to show me where you live? "
"Oh yes, ma'am, thank you." '
They both entered the car and were soon on a dingy looking street.
They stopped in front of a small house. Grace led the way up a pair of
broken stairs and opened a door of a small room.
20 THE GARNET AND GRAY
"Won't you come in?" asked Grace.
From another room a masculine voice called, " Is that the landlord? "
" No, it is a visitor," replied Grace.
The door from the other room opened and in walked a tall lad, about
twenty. He seemed quite a delicate boy and the lines about his face were
marks of pain and worry. He walked in with a slow, limping step.
" Why-hello," he said. " How did you get up here, did the landlord
send you up? "
" No," said Mrs. Dickson, "he didn't. If you will listen I will tell
you how I happen to be heref' She then told him about her meeting with
john listened and soon something like pain marked his face. I-Ie looked
at his sister, who was tidying up her room.
" I know," he said, " how my sister wanted to make Christmas a happy
day for me."
" Johnf' said Mrs. Dickson, " may I please speak to you after she has
gone to bed? There is something I want to say to you."
Grace went to bed that night with a. happy feeling. After she was
sound asleep Mrs. Dickson told john of her sorrow.
" It was last New Year's eve when my little Grace passed away. She
was just the age of Grace. I filled the stockings of an angel on the eve
before Christmas last year, and I will H11 the stockings of another to-night,"
she said, pointing to the empty stockings of Grace.
" You don't mean it," said John. Mrs. Dickson arose and said,
"I will be back in a half hour."
It seemed like hours but at last she came, carrying an evergreen tree,
with different size packages. They were soon busy fixing up things. When
all was finished Mrs. Dickson left, saying she would call to-morrow and
take them to a Christmas dinner. '
The next morning Grace arose. When she opened the door she stood
amazed, to see the wonderful sight.
" Merry Christmas, Grace!" called a voice behind the tree, and her
brother stepped forth.
" Hurry," he said, " Mrs. Dickson is coming to take us to a Christmas
dinner." 'Grace swallowed her breakfast and could not wait until she
would be dressed.
It was twelve o'clock and John and Grace were riding to Mrs. Dick-
son's. Mrs. Dickson and her husband met them at the door. Grace and
john took a great liking to Mr. Dickson.
The dinner was the best that Grace ever tasted. Sometime after dinner
john was called into the drawing room, while Grace was playing with her
"john," said Mr. Dickson, " last night my wife had told you about
our sorrows. The presence of your sister in the house makes us more happy.
If you took your sister away, we will go back to the sorrows of the past.
THE GARNET AND GRAY 21
Therefore I would like to adopt your sister as our own daughter. There
is a job open for you at the ofhce. You could make this house your home."
John could not believe his ears, but with a nod of his head, Mr. Dick-
That evening Grace was told the happy news. At first she could not
utter a sound, but then she ran to Mrs. Dickson and called, " Mother! "
She held her child closely to her bosom. Her own, all hers.
That night when Grace said her prayers she thanked God for everything
he did. .
"And especially," she said, " my Christmas present from You, my new
A BEDTIME STORY
Once upon a time, children dear, there was a school who almost always
had championship teams in football, basketball, track and baseball. In
fact, the school was too good to be true and so, children dear, the inevitable
flaw was found. The team's Moral Support were everywhere but at the
games and when they did come around to cheer, it sounded like a solo
rendered by the cheer leader. Not even the cheer leader's white trousers
that he borrowed from dad would make them cheer. They could beat the
Sphinx to a fare-ye-well. And one day they were brought into chapel and
fearfully scolded for the loss of their vocal chords. They then tried to
make a come-back. Even then, the cheer leader's soprano was heard above
the other 749 voices. Some of them looked like fish out of their H2O.
Most of the girls and some of the boys seemed to have a bad case of lock-
jaw. Some forgot the middle but tried to finish up strong.
All things, children dear, must have a reason and therefore, the cheer
leader who was slightly superstitious, went to a Crystal Gazer to find the
reason for the death of the Moral Support. After telling his name to the
Gazer who immediately guessed his dad's last name, he was told to keep
his eyes peeled on the florists' silver ball. After looking at his image for
a few minutes the cheer leader saw the answer to his puzzle. No, children
dear, it wasn't his face that kept the moral support from cheering, there
actually was a deeper reason. Not long afterward there was a consultation
with the coach. Now, children dear, comes the best part.
The gym was filled to capacity at the Big Game. The other team
brought down the town to see them win. Most of the cheering came from
the Other Town and made it sound like an amalgamation of the Navy
and Marine bands with our Moral Support like a piccolo accompaniment.
Then, children dear, the Other Town began to razz the Moral Support,
the Team, the School, etc. Then the Best Team on Earth began to get
cold feet. Yes, children dear, it certainly was strange, seeing as how
they had been razzed before without losing their nerve.. The Moral Support
kept getting madder and madder but they never let out a real organized
22 THE GARNET AND GRAY
cheer. The final score seemed like the Other Town's census against our
lonesome 2. That 2 was the only unavoidable accident at the game, The
Moral Support never said a word but went home as soon as the whistle
At the three following games with no-account schools the Best Team
on Earth got in a winning score but the Moral Support never opened their
mouths. In fact, they were never asked to, for the cheer leader seemed
to have business elsewhere. Then the Fates decided to give the School
another chance, and so, children dear, by being a runner-up the Team was
scheduled to play the Other Town again. And when the Moral Support
said their prayers that night they added I' Give us strength for that gamef,
When the day arrived and the doors opened, the crowds began to
till up the gym until all the seating and standing room was taken up. The
Moral Support were there to a man. The strange part was that all who
had been at the first slaughter were there. Outside of the yells and boos
from the Other Town, all was quiet. Then the Other Town's team ran in.
The Other Town gave them their best. It certainly looked as if the
Team and the Moral Support were in for a good time. The Moral Sup-
port, by the way, seemed to be looking for someone. They finally found
him with dad's white trousers and a megaphone sitting between the Time-
keepers and the Reporter. He was thrown out on the floor.
When the Best Team on Earth ran in there was the lull in the storm.
The cheer leader feverishly asked for the Regular. And so, children dear,
a splendid comeback was staged that -was to live long in athletic history.
When the plaster had stopped falling from the ceiling and the windows
had ceased rattling, the game began. Whenever the Moral Support cheered,
the Umpire and Referee stopped the game to look at the ceiling. Even
the Other Town stopped to hear them cheer. The final results were some-
thing like Rockefeller's income tax and VIS. The Other Team didn't get
the income tax numbers either. VVhen the Other Town went home they
looked as if they had seasickness.
Now, children dear, there was a reason for all this. And that reason
was what the cheer leader saw in the silver ball.
He saw something at first that made him want to quit cold and throw
up his job. What he thought he saw was a boy with a tag, " Socially
Unrecognized " pinned on his jersey. A boy who thought he had enough
popularity to lead the Moral Support into cheering. The cheer leader,
you see, was a real fellow who knew in his heart, that they couldn't be
so snobbish and so he stared harder into the Crystal Gazer's ball. The
scene faded and he was looking at championship teams Hit by with foot-
ball, basketball and track suits. He couldn't help recognize them as the
School's Own. And he saw a Moral Support watching them win. But
what he saw in the ball he had failed to see in reality. It wasn't that the
Moral Support were snobbish or even asleep. No, sir. Although they
didn't cheer they kept their eyes fondly lingering on the teams. You see,
THE GARNET AND GRAY 23
children dear, they probably figured they didn't need to cheer, seeing that
the teams were so good. When the cheer leader had the consultation with
the coach, it resulted in the Team going on the floor with the most foolish
instructions possible. VVhen the Team began losing and were razzed by
the Other Town, the Moral Support finally awoke to the fact that they
were falling down on their part of the job.
The moral, children dear, is that people shouldn't wait to be hit on
the head before letting the idea sink into the oatmeal.
Louis H. BAER
THE CRUISE OF 456-896
QA MODERN FABLED
They are all bright and beautiful,
Everyone is short and small,
But the gaff they stand is Wonderful-
For the great Ford made them all. t
456-896 had never broken a lawg 456-896 was innoccnt of all that
she was accused of, and yet in the freakish manner in which she was
dressed by her master, she felt guilty, she felt ashamed. This unhappy
feeling came over her only when she was in the presence of the great knights
of the road, when there was some part of her body that was in pain, some
part of her nervous system out of order, and could not perform according
to her master's wish.
The real name of 456-896 was Lizzie and she was a member of the
largest family in America. Yes, Lizzie was a Ford.
It was a fine, clear day in September when 456-896 left Albany on
a long journey. It was a novel journey.
And Lizzie wore a traveling suit that was of the very latest, yes, later
than the latest, for no one had yet seen the like in a traveling costume.
The suit was made to order and designed by Lizzie's master. When she
rolled out into the street on that eventful morning,
She was proud.
For her habit was indeed exclusive. Her body had been stripped to
the channeled frame, and in, its place was built of Wood, a large platform
surmounted by a tent over a skeleton frame to hold it rigidly in place. She
looked like a prairie schooner of old, a miniature.
The master and two friends were starting that day on a camping trip
to Canada. The three musketeers drove her through the beautiful moun-
tainous country of the North. Lizzie was invigorated by the wonderful
air. It thrilled and tickled her in the carbureter. She was happy on this
free-lance drive, through the country.
And she danced with every rebound of her air-cushioned rubber, quiv-
ered throughout her entire frame in her eagerness.
24 THE GARNET AND GRAY
VViggled with the delight and happiness. A happier Ford could not
have been found. She was happy and frolicsome as a young colt, much to
the discomfort of the three musketeers.
They traveled on, this unique quartet, and
W'hen the shades of night began to fall, they sought cover through
fear of being crushed under its accelerating weight. They slumbered that
night, the three musketeers and Lizzie. Aye, Lizzie still slept when the
trio were up and doing. They tried to awake her, they coaxed her, they'
pushed her, they cranked her, but she slumbered on in peace. She would
not even grunt. Ah, gentle sleep, sweet sleep! What a soother of tired
Lizzie had exercised vigorously in the fresh air of yesterday and was
tired. She determined to have her rest.
At last she gasped, sputtered, and kicked like Maud. Another' crank!
She jumped forward and fell back in exhaustion. She choked, gasped for
breath, quivered in every nut and halked and began to shiver. It was
indeed a cold morning. " Pt-sput-tick-bangg r-r-r-tick, sput, put, put, put.
She chattered in the transmission, as the foot of the musketeer descended
on low. She was awake and,
As the musketeer let out his foot
She responded with a jump, and was off in a clatter of valves. A
powerful Stutz was scared,
And gave her the road. Lizzie was imbued with a new spirit.
So they traveled for many days,
And so they slept many nights,
And so they labored many mornings, until one bright morning they
halted on the shores of the great,
Stately St. Lawrence.
Ferried across into the North land, over the border that knew no
fortress. Lizzie was happy in this new adventure. She pranced along with
the fire of a Morvitch, with the speed and spit of a De Palma. That day
she was in Ottawa, and turning back east that evening she snorted through
the streets of Montreal the next afternoon. 456-896 slept that night in
a garage, the first time in a week, with a roof above her.
That night was a miserable night for Lizzie. Although she was rated
by the customs at one hundred dollars the next day found her feeling as
though she was worth ninety-nine dollars and ninety-eight cents less.
VVhen the master musketeer came the next morning to see her, she
told him her pitiful story of the night. A haughty "Fierce-Sparrow,"
nickeled and polished, spick and span, began the impolite game, speaking to
a Twin Six who was also visiting. " VVhere did this thing blow in from,"
he asked disdainfully.
The Twin Six raised his rear wheel and scratched his fender thought-
fully. "Ask the man who owns it." " It's all I can do to keep track of
THE GARNET AND GRAY 25
all the makes without looking up the back numbers. Maybe it's the boiler
from Robert Fulton's old Clermont. Lord knows."
Lizzie quivered, her radiator was boiling over from her resentment,
but she controlled herself, seeing that she was powerless.
Then up spoke a small Ford ton truck, " If you knew how you looked
when you first came out you wouldn't have so much to say. That 'kid'
is all right. He's got to be, Henry designed it and Henry designed me and
I'll wager we'll stand anything you'll stand any day.
Lizzie wiggled front right fender in gratitude, for even this bit of
consolation from her foreign cousin.
There was a Lincoln in the far corner. " My friends, let us have malice
toward none and charity for all. Lizzie, you must admit you can travel.
She can be depended upon to get there. She works faithfully and well.
Yes, we must give her credit."
" Travel," said the "Fierce Sparrow " contemptuously, " why, I'd run
all over her. I could do ninety per. I carry princes and swells, and I'd
be twice around the world before that tin can could wiggle its fan belt.
"VVell, I ain't given to blowing, as a rule," began the Buick, " but
when better cars are built, Buick will build them. Yet, Liz over here isn't
such a bad skate if you can bank the difference."
" Lizzie doesn't need a horn. You can hear her a mile back. She's
in my class only I don't make any noise about it," said Dodge, as he put
in his two license plates.
"Aw, she's only a bunch of ' papier mache ' and can't take a hill except
tail end first. Bah l " scorned the Paige as she turned up her pointed nose.
The master patted Lizzie on the hood and reassured her. He fed her
some gas and gave her some condensed air.
" That's all right, Liz. Don't mind them. We'll show 'em up to-day,
eh, old girl?"
And Lizzie did. She took some punishment that day. She worked
as she never worked before, for her master, for in one day she spanned
the distance between Montreal and Albany. She was a credit to her
designer. Lizzie wasn't good looking but she had good sense, and lots
of "pep." It was an accomplishment that would make her tormentors
of the night before green with jealousy.
Moral: Looks are often deceitful. The pulse tells more than the
BERTHA M. VVARSHAW
The wind was humming a melancholy air, one frosty day last Decem-
ber, when, " Up from the South at break of day," Sheridan NVilliams,
'A with a terrible rumble and grumble and roar, burst from his house like
a shot from a cannon's mouth,"-and 8:15, twenty minutes away!
It was so bitterly cold, that Williams lighted a match to warm his
26 THE GARNET AND GRAY
hands, but much to his horror, the flame froze on the end of the match.
At this time the wind was so strong, that it even blew telegraph poles
inside out. Nevertheless he hurried on to the nearest corner. Upon
arriving there, Sheridan had plenty of time to recite his Caesar lesson in
French, before the one man car strolled along,-and 8:15, fifteen minutes
Williams stepped briskly in the would-be-car, and proceeded to drop
his fare in the Hoof. The conductor-motorman rendered a very sour-castie
look, when Sheridan requested the former to " ouvrez la porte," our hero's
coat being caught. Upon reaching a seat near the middle of the car, Sheri-
dan undertook the responsibility of holding it down, jointly, with a stout
lady,-and 8:15, ten minutes away.
Here the car stopped to take in the Old Lady's Home. This necessi-
tated Williams's giving up his seat to a young-old lady. Our hero, upon
reaching the rear of the car, proceeded to hold up the beam, which sup-
ported the ceiling of the car,-and 8:15, five minutes away!
One block from school, Sheridan, gathering together his trusty Caesar
book, attempted to break through the front line in the rear. There were.
"People to the right of him,
People to the left of him,
People in front of him,
Boldly he rode and, well,"
Into the face of the conductor, who dashed the door shut in his back.
After leaving the car in the dust, he tore down the street, broke into the
front door, ran through the locker rooms, raced up the end stairs, smashed
in the door of room 324, and
" Vllilliams, you're late ! "
CDedicated to the over-worked children of the Albany High Schoolj
GEORGE G1LDERsLEEvE, '23
CHRISTMAS EVE--A MESSAGE
All evening he had trudged through the snow on his way to nowhere,
moving only because it was warmer so. But now before the open doors
of the great cathedral he paused at the strains of glorious music that stole
out to him through the twilight.
The little waif was starved, but not for want of food alone. The soul
of this little one was one of the unaccountable mysteries which rise, to taunt
one, from the swarming filth of the East Side. Perhaps the gods above.
weary of a suitability of things, do this in jest, but if it be jest, 'tis indeed
a cruel one. The soul of this prodigy of the slums found wings in music
and here was music sublime and profuse.
Fascinated, he crept nearer and nearer until he was nestled in the
cushions of a seat in a dark corner.
Soon the richly dressed, joyful throng came to worship. The church
THE GARNET AND GRAY 27
was aglow with myriad candles, but their illumination spread not to the
gloom of the distant corner where the child lay, lulled to sleep by the music.
The services ended, the happy masses started homeward in anticipation
of the joys of Christmas Day. The presence of the child remained yet
Christmas morning the chimes of the cathedral pealed forth their glad
tidings, and the crowds of fortune-favored folk came to acknowledge the
new-born king. They found the child, beautiful, though bedraggled, and
with the face of an angel. Still and cold he lay in startling paleness against
the ruddy velvet of the cushions. Yet, in spite of his appearance of poverty
and neglect, he wore on his upturned face a look of unutterable rapture
The sight of him brought to mind vividly the little Child of Bethlehem,
and many, that day, after leaving the house of worship sought out the needy
of the city, and strove to follow the message the child had imparted to
them. And many a heart was made glad this day because of him.
EDNA NELLEGAR, 323
GIRLS I HAVE KNOWN
Winifred's a lithesome girl,
Harriet is stout,
Alma owns the cutest curl,
Theresa knocks them out.
Annette's figure's full of grace
Rita wields the lip-stick,
Ellen leads a furious pace,
Yolanda swings a niblick.
Olive advocates bare knees-
U contribute what you please.
AN ELECTRIC WRINGER
Wednesday night of last week Doc called up Jack and asked him over
for a game of penny ante. Jack said he couldn't come because he was
" Washing what? " asked Doc.
" My B. V. D.'s," said Jack.
just then central cut in and said:
" I'm wringing them."
The Girl frather bored and sleepy at 11:30 P. MJ-"I don't know a
thing about baseball."
Tardy Guest-" Let me explain it to you." -
The Girl-" Very well, give me an illustration of a home run."
28 THE GARNET AND GRAY
Willie, can you tell us anything about the iron age? "
Er-er I'm a bit rusty on the subject, teacher."
" Say, Brown, do you know Snobson? "
" Nice chap, ain't he? "
No, I don't like him. He is one of your darned religious fellows."
" Religious! Why I never saw anything particularly indicative of
superior piety about him." , I
" Well, I don't know. I loaned him ten dollars last Christmas, and
it's been Lent with him ever since."
Grace-" Dr. Squills is practising now, isn't he?"
Ethel Cblushingj-" Yesf'
Grace--" What are his hours?',
Ethel-" From eight to ten usually, but when pa's out he stays later."
"I don't see anything funny in that," said the lady looking into the
" Yes, that great baseball player was married last week."
"Any change in him? "
" No. He is running and sliding for home more than ever."
George-" There goes the fellow that whistles at danger."
Peg-"Ah, he must be a very brave fellow. Who is he? "
George-"A locomotive engineer."
Jake--" See that girl there on the beach? She gets ten thousand
dollars a year posing for artists."
Rake-" That's some figure."
There are a lot of jokes but few of us are original.
Al Lincoln-Even a policeman can't stop the flight of time.
H. Golding-Why only this morning I saw a policeman go into a
store and stop a few minutes.
First Frosh-What is it that by losing an eye has nothing left but
Second Frosh-You've got me.
Miss Franklin--james, write a short theme on baseball.
james' theme-Rain, no game.
THE GARNET AND GRAY 29
To be a subscriber to Garnet and Gray,
One twenty-live is all that you pay.
If once you get it
You'll never regret it
So come on along and sign up to-day
Senior in History-" The French built a string of forts-one of these
forts was built where Lake Erie now stands."
Teacher-" Charles, what is a ground-hog?"
Charles-" Please, ma'am, it's a sausage."
Tom-" Say, John, how is it that a red cow that eats green grass, gives
white milk and yellow butter? "
John-" Why, I don't know."
Tom-" Well, if I knew I wouldn't ask you."
First Boy-" You know, Dutch Empie is the star kicker of Albany
Second Boy-" Well, I ought to, for I got in his way once."
Prof. Walters Cin chemistry classj-" Now you will see that this gas
The class failed to see it.
Freshman-How do they make cannon?
Sophomore-Why, they take a round hole and pour iron around it.
Mr. Yavits-Why don't you come down on the floor?
Pupil Cin balconyj-I've sprained my ankle.
Mr. Yavits-That's a lame excuse.
Miss Todd-N ow, Sherer, what is a hypocrite?
Sherer-A boy who comes to school with a smile on his face.-W. C. P.
Miss Marvin-Who is Jove?
Bright CEU Freshman-Jove is the wife of Jupiter.
First Student-"What's the best thing about gym?"
Second Student-" The day you don't take it."
Teacher in history class-" Lincoln wrote his great address while
riding from Washington to Gettysburg on an envelope."
Policeman to drunken gent-" Sir, you must accompany me."
Drunken gent-" Sh-want me to sh-ing?"
30 THE GARNET AND GRAY
A person who called himself Roy p
From a town nine miles out of Troy
Stayed out late every night
Which wasn't quite right
For a man who was only a boy.
R. J. H., '23
There once was a lady named May,
Who wrote in a marvelous way,
I-Ier verses were witty,
But oh! what a pity,
In Latin she got no bouquet.
I knew a man with an old fliver,
Which always did start with a shiver,
For the clutch it was broke,
And the engine did choke,
So he pushed the old boat in the river.
Mr. Glavin-If a boy is eight feet from a pool and covers half the
distance each jump, he'll never get there, will he?
George Gildersleeve-No, but he'll do some shimmying the last ten
" Been to the football game, eh! Is your son on the team? "
Mr. Gloeckner-" Judging by his looks, I should say the team was on
" How do you parse 'Mary milked the cow?' " asked Mr. Nott.
"Cow is a noun, feminine gender, third person, singular number, and
stands for Mary," replied Young.
"Stands for Mary! " exclaimed Mr. Nott. " How do you make
that out? "
" Because," answered Young, " if the cow didn't stand for Mary, how
could Mary milk her? "
A farmer once went to the city, and spent the night in a hotel. On
returning home his neighbors questioned him as to how he liked the city.
His answer was, " Everything was nice except that the light was going
all night." " Why didn't you blow it out?" they asked. " Why, how
could I? The beastly thing was in a bottle."
Dorcas Hager-Our business lady. '
Robert Lincoln-Our school, pardon me, I mean business manager.
Paul Davis-" For tho' they almost blush to reign."
Esther Bookheim-VVhy haven't I got blue eyes? -
" Peggy " Frost-" Kiss-me " doll. '
Billy Mills-A veritable mint, eh, Peg?
THE GARNET AND GRAY 31
Edie Kernan-How do you keep 'em both going?
Roger Gallien-Learning fast, eh Bookie? .
" Bob " Caniield-Speaking of small packages-.
Ruth Sutton-VVell started.
Billy Parkhurst-So actor-like.
Malcolm Steele-Not so worse.
Harriet Parkhurst-A promising proposition.
Midge Greenman-"I can't be serious-looking."
" Kay " O'Brien-Hot line.
" Hubey "Miller--Heart, etc. of gold.
" Dan " Pabst-Man of marble.
Phil " Blume-The fashion show.
" Pat " Crossman-Another atom, but, oh my.
" Libby " VVilloughby-VVhat one can't do another can.
A PAGE OF ADS
DONALD E. PRATT
Horses and Ponies
For Sale or Hire
Guaranteed to Pull You Thru
Office Hours 8:15 a. m.-4:15 p. m.
For Sale-A line bulldog, will eat anything, especially fond of children.
XVanted-A boy to drive a Ford, of genial disposition, over 16 years old.
NVanted-Three ladies to sew buttons on the third floor.
There was a young man from Havana
Who slipped on a peel of banana
Then he said, "O, my gosh!
I feel like a frosh
'Who is wearing a bright green bandanaf'
' F. B., '23
An upper classman had to stay after school one day. Soon he heard
the worst clatter and confusion. He asked the teacher what the racket
could be and she smilingly replied, "Oh, that's only the Freshman class."
32 THE GARNET AND GRAY
Miss Luck was explaining to one of her fourth year English classes
how merciful King Stephen of England was. She said that he threw any-
one whom he wished into prison, tortured him, and took all of his pos-
Earl Whitbeck from the back of the class shouted, " It's a good thing
they didn't have gold teeth then."
Miss Brewer-"Morrison, what can you tell me of America's foreign
relations at the present time? "
Morrison-"They're all broke."
Mr. Davis said the other day that sedentary work tended to lessen
the endurance. In other words, the more one sits the less one can stand.
Miss Fisher-" Who was Cyclops? "
Young Freshman-" I think he was the man who wrote the cyclopediaf'
A certain young fisher named Fisher
Fished for fish from the edge of a fissure.
But a fish, with a grin,
Pulled the young fisher in,
Now they're fishing the fissure for Fisher.
A poor relation is always a distant relation.
Has your mother read " Frecklc-rs?"
" No, ma'a.m," replied Blanche Newbury in answering Miss Houghton,
" they're brown."
Not all book salesmen, says a contributor to the Atlantic Monthly,
profess to be literary. A customer stepped into a London bookshop and
asked for Omar Khayyam. The man shook his intelligent looking head.
" No," he said, " 'Is Iliad we 'ave, and 'is Odyssey we 'ave, but we
'ave not 'is Khayyamf'
Divorces are practically unknown in Sweden. Perfectly natural in
the land of safety matches!
Mildred Graves, relating an exciting play in a recent football game:
"And johnny grabbed the ball and hugged it to him-"
Katherine O'Brien-"Ah, to be a football."
Mildred-" Then kicked it."
" Papa, what do you do all day long at the office?" asked his inquisi-
tive daughter, Mary.
"Oh nothing," replied her father, deeply absorbed in the evening
" Well then," pursued Mary, " how do you know when you are
THE GARNET AND GRAY 33
Salesman to business man:
"I am a salt seller Qcellarjf'
" Yes, I can get them in a ten-cent store."-C. R.
According to Mr. Glavin:
History is localized gossip.
Civics is interference with the government.
Mathematics is the science of that which you do not know what you
are talking about.
Good English is that used by the best educated people and the best
authors of the times. That's me.
The present prosperous and peaceful conditions in our school is due
to the proficient and practical Professor Pratt.
Midge Greenman-" Did you go to see 'The Hole in the Wall' at
Ruth Coe-" lVhat hole? "
Prof. Oliver was trying to teach his pupils the meaning of f and ff
in a song that they were about to learn. After explaining the first sign,
he said, " Now what do you sayg if f means forte, what does ff mean?"
" Eighty! " shouted one enthusiastic pupil.
It has been reported that some teachers in this school are fond of
Paul Davis-Doctor, I owe you my life.
Doctor-Yes, and that isn't all. I
No matter how hungry a horse may be, he'll never eat a bit.
Peggy Frost-You ought to give up smoking-it affects the heart.
George Mills-By that reasoning, I ought to give you up too.
PLAYITIVELY SPEAKING L
Daddies .......... ..................... P rof. Burgin and Prof. Glavin
Mary ............ .................. M ary Harris
Peg 0' My Heart .... ...... P eggy Frost
The Little Teacher... .. ....... Miss Selkirk
" Very Good Eddie ".. .... Edward Canevari
"just a VVoman" ....... .... E dna Nellegar
"Oh, Boy " ............... .... K enneth Empie
The Girl in the Limousine. . . .. .Evelyn DuBois
Listen Lester ............. ...Lester Moston
34 THE GARNET AND GRAY
'i f I
MNQSS W yf
1?Tl g A A 0 l,
. . K I
i ' , !',-
!f.' Wil., ,fy
, 'V 2, ,-'
W IJORCAS A. HAGER
fb Q ,
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The list of Exchanges for 1922 contains most of our old friends and
a few newcomers whom we were delighted to welcome. The GARNET AND
GRAY wishes to acknowledge the receipt of the following:
" The Item," Amsterdam High School, Amsterdam, N. Y., " The Col-
gate Maroon," Colgate University, Hamilton, N. Y., " The Crimson and
White," Milne High School, Albany, N. Y., " The Manualitef' Kansas City,
Mo., " The Middlebury Campus," Middlebury College, Middlebury, Vt.:
" The Targumf' Rutgers College, New Brunswick, N. J., " The XVesleyan
Argus," Middletown, Conn. ,- " The Evanstonianf' Evanston, Illinois, " The
Oracle," Rensselaer High School, Rensselaer, N. Y., " The Cue," Albany
Boys' Academy, Albany, N. Y., " The Gryphon," Ironton High School,
Ironton, Ohio, " The High School Recorderf' Saratoga High School, Sara-
toga, N. Y., " The Ottawa Campus," Ottawa, Kansas, " The Kalendsf'
Delaware Academy, Delhi, N. Y., " The Triadelphianf' Triadelphia High
School, Oak Park, Vtfheeling, W'est Va., " The Dubuque News," Dubuque
High School, Dubuque, Iowa, " The Philo Phonographf' Sac City High
School, Sac City, Iowa, " The Scholasticaf' Tonawanda High School, Tona-
wanda, N. Y., " Syracuse Daily Orange," Syracuse University, Syracuse.
N. Y., " The Students' Pen," Pittsfield High School, Pittsfield, Mass., " The
Argonaut," Yonkers High School, Yonkers, N. Y., " The L. H. S. Review,"
Lowell High School, Lowell, Mass.
" The Crimson and VVhite " is brilliantly edited, though we would like
to say in passing, " Don't work your editor too hard even if he for " she "J
is clever! " You ought to make more out of your magazine cover. The
splendid material within the magazine is worthy of a great deal more artistic
effort put into a cover design. It would add greatly to the interest of the
Senior Issue if it included photographs of the graduating class.
" The Oracle " has introduced the good incentive of a prize award to
THE GARNET AND GRAY 35
Seniors and Juniors for the best story to be used in their magazine. "A
Christmas Story " has a very beautiful theme and good development. Your
class and alumni notes, too, are so complete and well organized that they
add a great deal to the magazine. More exchanges, more jokes and perhaps
some poetry in the Literary Department are what you need.
We are proud that " The Cue " is one of our nearest neighbors. It is
quite worthy of its school. The Comments in " The Cupola " are well done.
We congratulate you on your novel and excellent way of inviting direct,
written criticism. Your cuts are fine and, we rejoice to notice, are not all
the work of one person.
" The Item" gives one a very flattering impression on first glance
because of the excellent work of its art department. Good cuts will cover
up a multitude of sins. However, on looking further we see that there are
very few sins to mention. The " Hits " Department stands at the head
of any of the joke sections which we have seen. The jokes whether original
or not, are new and full of laughs.
We looked forward with great eagerness to the arrival of the " Evan-
stonian " again this year, and we were not disappointed! Your fall issue
is splendid from cover to cover. We like the general form, large number
of photographs, and the expertly drawn cuts. It is an allround good
We may speak in general about the papers among our Exchanges in
saying that they are alive and full of interest. There are many novel
departments and clever joke columns such as "Hash" in the "Dubuque
News," the " Fun Shop " in the " Gryphon " and " Wise and Otherwise "
in the "Manualite." " The Copy Cat " of the " Manualite " is something
new in the way of gentle criticism of little follies around school.
Isabelle Wentworth, '11, married William J. Fisher, '08,
Ruth Hardin, '12, married Ned Kuehule and are residing in Philadelphia, Pa.
Ruth Purdy, '14, has recently announced her engagement to Henry Bickle.
Marguerite Vogel, '15, is employed by the i- Life Insurance Co. at Mil-
Helen Gross, '16, is employed at the N. Y. State Bank.
Jessie Hendrie, '17, is employed at a Madison Avenue Tire Concern.
John McEneny, '18, is employed at the Mutual Life Insurance Co.
Joe Mahar, '18, is Sporting Editor of the Times-Union.
Hermie Diekman, '19, is a Sophomore at Penn. University.
Grace McClelland, '19, is a Senior at Skidmore.
Barrington Lodge, '19, is employed at the Arkay Building.
Louis Paddock, '20, is employed at the Ten Eyck Hotel.
- " Buster" Meyers, '20, recently married Rena Titus fRuth Taylorj, formerly of
the Proctor's Players.
Gladys McCarthy, '20, is a Junior at Syracuse.
Helen Scheurman, '20, is living in Rutherford, N. J.
Marion Roth, '20, is employed at the Capitol.
36 THE GARNET AND GRAY
" Date " Donnelly, '20, is employed at the Municipal Gas Cc
" Len " Stanley, '20, and Ralph Leitzell, '20, are Sophomores at Union, and mem-
bers of 4159.
Wendell Hunting, '20, is a Junior at Wesleyan.
Marion Carey, '20, is a Junior at College of SL Rose.
" Art " Lambom, '20, is a Junior at Union College.
Janet Scraliford, '20, is employed at the State Health Department Laboratory.
Mildred Vine, '20, recently announced her engagement to Raymond Parker.
" Bill" Lewis, '20, is a Junior at Hamilton.
" Ed " Bowen, '20, and John Bowen, '20, are studying dentistry at Penn. University.
Emily Belding, '20, is a Junior at State College
Beryl Van Allen, '20, is at the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. ' '
Helen Martin, '20, is employed at R. B. Wing 81 Sons.
" Buster " Foskett, '20, is a Junior at Syracuse University, and a member of Delta
" Jimmie " McDonough, '20, is a Junior at Wesleyan, and a member of Psi Upsilon.
" Bill " Kelly, '20, is a Junior at Wesleyan, and a member of Deke.
" Fred " Halcomb, '20, and " Ike" LaGrange, '20, are Juniors at Colgate, and
members of Sigma Nu. A
Helen Cook, '21, has been elected President of the Sophomore class at the Emer-
son School of Dramatic Art.
Frank Dyer, '21, is a Sophomore at M. I. T.
Mary Alice Hurd, '21, is moving to Montclair, N. J.
Ardent Flint, '21, is a Sophomore at Wesleyan, and a member of Deke.
Vivien Hart, '21, Marie Burgin, '21, Hermione Brabb, '21, and Vernice Wilson,
'21, are Sophomores at State College.
Raymond Furhman, '21, is a Sophomore at Hamilton.
Harriet Fort, '21, is a Sophomore at Russell Sage.
Raymond Dewey, '21, is a Sophomore at Cornell.
David Clark, '21, is a Sophomore at Georgetown.
Russell Greenman, '21, is a Sophomore at Union College, and a member of
Geralld Waldbillig, '21, is a Sophomore at R. P. I.
Vera Ruhl, '2l,was recently married to Townard Dollard.
Louise Pomeroy, '21, is studying at the Sargent Sdhool of Boston.
Jack Lewi, '21, is a Sophomore at Hamilton.
Kathryn Lasch and Ruth Reedy, both of the Class of '21, are Sophomores at
Albany Law School.
Robert Abele, '21, is a Sophomore at Yale.
Ruth Gade, '21, is employed at the Standard Oil Co.
Francis Long, '21, is a Sophomore at Union College.
' Milton Owens, '21, is living in Rochester.
Carolyn Pollock, '21, is a Sophomore at Elmira College.
Dorothy Pollock, '21, is a Sophomore at Syracuse University.
Geraldine Leonard, '21, is employed at Van Slyke 8z Horton's.
Hubert Muller, '21, is a Sophomore at Columbia University.
Paul Brainard, '21, is employed at the Standard Oil Co.
Thomas Mahar, '21, is a Sophomore at Wesleyan.
Harold Ruhl, '2l.is employed at the information Bureau of the N. Y. C. R. R Co.
" Fred " Corinth, '21, is employed by the Delaware 81 Hud'son.
Morris Maercklin, '21, is employed by the Delaware 8z Hudson Railroad Co.
Russell Ranger, '21, is living in Newark, N. J., and employed by the Warren Nash
Motor Car Co. of Jersey City.
THE GARNET AND GRAY
THE BRANDOW PRINTING CO.
An Albany Institute operated on
the basis of Quality in Workman-
ship and Service to the Buyer
MAKERS OF THE GARNET ff: GRAY
Weeber Cycle Works E. W. Tompkins 81 CO.
27 GRAND TREET
174-176 Central Ave.,Albany,N.Y. AI BANY SN Y I
N. Y. Phone 361 west J ' ' '
' " Tel. Main 2408
P. 0. Box 942 Uhr Jlnuvl Glraftrrz Albany, New York
Class Pins, Rings, Etg. I Y M Wilewegrlklovelties in ,Ieivelry
Sigma and Alpha, Doxia and Logla 1 and Leather Dance Favors, Etc.
Jewelry a Specialty I
Original and Altraclive Banners, Pennants, Pillow Tops ana' Arm
Bands made for All Purposes
Engraved Announcements and Invitations
See GEORGE BUTMAN, at High School
C- H- SCHUPP E. E. ST. LOUIS
Pie, Cake and French Pastry
ass CENTRAL AVE. STORE FIXTURES
Fancy Stationery, Candy 8z Cigars
BARBRIC PHARMACY, Inc.
Phones W. 2282 and W. 3983
STATE ST., ALBANY I
THE GARNET AND GRAY
New York State National Bank
65-69 STATE STREET
Capital, Surplus and Undivided Profits ' 32,780,000
Deposits ------- 28,000,000
JOIN OUR XMAS CLUB
Interest Paid on Time Deposits Checking Accounts Solicited
Securities Sold on Monthly Payments
LEDYARD COGSWELL, - - - Chairman of Board
LEDYARD COGSWELL, Jr., - - - - President
PARKER CORNING, - - Vice-President
J. MILTON RUSSUM, - - - Cashier
EDWARD M. BOICE, -
C. GREGORY GALLON, -
CHESTER C. KENT,
- Asst. Cashier
- Asst. Cashier
Of all sorts in stock
Waterman, Conklin and
Moore Fountain Pens
Books for every need-those
recommended by the Faculty. All
the popular fiction.
The Family Drug Store
PINE HILLS PHARMACY
M.W.BRIGGS 8: M.'l'. STONE, Props.
1116 Madison Avenue, Comer Allen
ALBANY, N. Y.
Telephone West 156
E. A. BEAUMONT CO.
71 STATE STREET
Brogue Oxfords for Young
Men and Women
Everything in School
Book Store Supplies
44 North Pearl Street B S
Opposite High School
THE GARNET AND GRAY
"Say it with Flowers"
DECORATIONS FOR ALL OCCASIONS
Personal Attention Given to all Orders
15 South Pearl Street ALBANY, N. Y.
Arkay Building Phone Main 4439
WE ADD THE
CHE nationally known
trade marks found on the
merchandise we carry indi-
cate that the makers are
willing to sponsor their wares.
Our "E.P.M." added, assures
You that we can recommend
and stand squarely behind
what you buy here.
C7771 PEN CUFNER , . ,
. . .
ESTAELISI-ED-1867 - 3
UJRNER-HUDSUIV Avg 511 EAW
The Senior Class
3 Are Photographed each Year
With every copy purchased
you will be given a Credit
Check which entitles you to
the amount paid deducted
on an order of Personal
Photographs at School Rates
Special Styles for Students
57 North Pearl Street
THE GARNET AND GRAY
L. GERTSKIN, Pres.
M. KORNIT, Treas.
EMPIRE DECORATING CO., Inc.
WALL PAPER, PAINTS
110-112 Quail Street Phone West 3349 Albany, N. Y.
Edward L. Swasey
Reynolds K. Townsend
GENERAL MILL SUPPLY CO.
Announces the opening of a new warehouse at
40 Livingston Ave., Albany, N. Y.
Phone Main 4470
FALL AND WINTER SUPPLIES NOW READY
Gymnasium Supplies of all Kinds
Basket Ball Supplies -Teams fitted from head to foot -Footballs, Strik-
ing Bags, Boxing Gloves-North Star Tubular Ice Skates, all sizes, Ladies
or Gents Fancy, Hockey or Racing-Skating Shoes, Sweaters, Stockings
THOMAS J. HURLEY Est.
22 GREEN STREET ----- ALBANY, N. Y.
W. B. ARMSTRONG CO.
Engineer and Construction
WHY BRING YOUR LUNCH
HIGH SCHOOL LUNCH
Contractors Hot Dogs, Sandwiches, French Q
3 Fulton sr. Albany, N. Y Pastry' gsggdlgcgggiiml Milk
RANGER and COLUMBIA Dealer in
BICYCLES Candies, Tobacco, Notions
J. Charles Ferris and School Supplies
402 Broadway- Albany. N V 2665 Central Ave., Albany, N. Y.
Albany Storage Battery Co.
G. V. 85 F. W. CAMERON
Storage Batteries and Supplies Hardware
ies CENTRAL AVE. Glass Paint
Distributors of Marko Batteries 285 Central Ave. Albany, N. Y
THE GARNET AND GRAY
COMPLIMEN TS 0F
The National Commercial Bank
and Trust Company
60 State Street : : : ALBANY, N.
Park Branch, 200 Washington Avenue
be - Sweets bop
on Central Avenue for Home-Made
Candies and Ice Cream 4
A TRIAL WILL CONVINCE YOU
We carry large assortments of
Chocolates and Bon-Bons. Also
Milk Chocolates, Nuts and
Fruits. We guarantee every
piece of candy that goes out of
our factory to be pure and whole-
some, because we use the best
of all materials. Our factory is
open to everybody for inspection
325 CENTRAL AVENUE
Phone West 4547-J
Branch, Liberty Candy Store
18 Central Avenue
Qlldlilv 'U Pl'lIllQl'S
9, gli A
X 45' :SIMS uw lil xv'
336 Central Avenue
PHONE WEST 2037
PINE HILLS TAILORING AND DRY CLEANING CO.
Green 6: Keating
Altering of Ladies and Gents Wearing Apparel
Dry Cleaning, Steam Cleaning, Dyeing, Relining, Repairing
Work Called for and Delivered to any Part of the City
Western Avenue and Partridge Street ALBANY, N. Y
PHONE WEST 3137
THE GARNET AND GRAY
Albany Hardware and Iron
Complete Sporting Equipment
Basket Ball, Hockey, Gym Supplies
Patrick Mackinaws and Sheepskin Lined Coats
Sweaters, Scarfs, Caps
Skates and Skating Shoes
Quotations for Team Uniforms Upon Request
EET a man have a good doctor, a good dentist and
a good banker and he is likely to live long-
and to have something to livel on as long as he lives
Present 1 Per cent
Interest Q Per
R a t e Annum
Assets over 520,000,000.00
CITY SAVINGS BANK
100 STATE STREET
WILLIAM S. HACKETT FRANK H. WILLIAMS
THE GARNET AND GRAY
If it's made of Rubber we have it
Sporting and Gym Goods
ALLING RUBBER CO.
THE GARNET AND GRAY
Theta Sigma-Theta Alpha
THE GARNET AND GRAY
S teefel Says :
WINTER CLOTHES FOR
WITH THAT SMART APPEARANCE
DEMANDED BY THE YOUNG CHAP
IN PREP SCHOOL AND COLLEGE
Furnishings, Gloves, Hats and Shoes of a
ALBANY, NEW YORK
THE GARNET AND GRAY
Educates for Business Eiiiciency and Provides Attractive Positions
Secretarial Accounting Stenographic
Civil Service Bookkeeping
Trains Ambitious Young Men and Women Quickly and
lEconomica1ly for Independence and Advancement
in Executive and Secretarial Positions
F 07 Catalog Address
CARNELL 8z HOIT
83 North Pearl Street Albany, N. Y.
Whipped Cream or Marshmallow Served Here
TRY A TEDDY BEAR
Candy Soda Stationery
Box Candy a Specialty ---Give Us a Trial
KETCHUMS Sc SNYDER
297 Central Avenue
Phone West 3959 Sub Station 25
THE GARNET AND GRAY
1923 Buick Touring Sedan
Gahran.-Pinchbeck Co., Inc.
Buick Motor Cars
Salesroom Service Dept.
286 Central Ave. 130 Quail St., cor. West St
THE GARNET AND GRAY
Hemstitching Crochet Cotton
The largest line of Christmas Cards
on the Avenue
Have your name printed on for a small extra charge
CIGARS : NEWS : TOBACCO : TOYS
NOVELTIES : CANDY
ROBERT H. PARMELEE
306 Central Ave., Albany, N. Y.
NEAR COLONIAL THEATRE
Central Avenue's Leading Candy and
Ice Cream Parlor
Whipped Cream on all Specials ,Vo extra charge
LARGEST LINE OF BOX CHOCOLATES
IN THE CITY
Fresh from the factory - from 39c. per pound up
299 Central Avenue, Albany
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