Akron High School - Golden Haze Yearbook (Akron, IN)

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I9 Tom F1165 PFA. 2, 3, 4, Pres. 3, 4, Haze Staff 4. Clyde Reed 1-li-Y 2, 3, 4, Stage Hand 3, 4, Track 1 2- Haze Staff 4. Betty Dcrwald 4 H Staff 4 Aero S.S.S. 2, 3, , aze ' , Staff 4, As-ststant Editor 4, Band 1, 2. hm Reed H1-Y 2, 3, 4, Play Cast 3, 4, Lack 1, 2, Haze Staff 4, Student Council 1, 2, Class Pres. 3, 4. Randall Leininger Hi-Y 3, 4, Sec'y and Treats. 4, Chorus 1, 2, 3, 4, Mixed Chorus 2, 4, Play Cast 3, 4, Track 2, Haze Statt 4, Band 1, 2, 3, 4, Capt., Varsity 3, 4, Baseball 1, 2, 3, 4, Sottball 1, 2, 3, 4. Stanley Utter Chorus 1, 2, lvhxed Chorus 1, 2, Haze Staff 4, Track 1, Z, 3, 4. Compliments of ROBERTS STUDIO, II37 Barr St., Fort Wayne 2, Indiana I3 PE Eli

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Ross Burdge 7958 H1-Y 2 3 4, Pres 4, Chorus 3, M:xe,1 Chorus 3, 4, Play C 4 . as. 3, 4, Cornni Usher 3, Basketball Kina 4, Traok l 2, 3, Softball 3, 4, Base- ,-.Q v- ,no ball 3, 4, Volleyball 3, 4, Class Vice- Pu 3Siie Co C' 4Pes4 ll 'xi S'1i: 4, Vars- Loretta Young Paul Heltzel Sharon Royer unil , 0 .,y 3, 4 Gary Brown H1-Y 4, l7'.F,A. l, 2, 3, 4, Track l, 2, 3, 4, Aero Statl 4, Haze Staff 4, Varsity 2, 3, 4. SSS 2 3 4, Chorus l, 2, 3, 4, Play Stall 4, Aero Stott 4 Mary Newcome SSS 2, 3, 4, Chorus 2, Mixed Cho- rus 2, Baca Usher 3, Haze Statt 4, Aero Staff 4, Class Vice-Pres. 2, Play Ushfrf 3, Eaq Queer, Candidate 3 , , Mzxel Chorus , ,Bari l, 2, 3 'utlenf Council 4 Larry Iohn Rhoades Chorus 2, Mixed Chorus 2, FFA. 2, 3, 4, Vice-Pres 4, Track 2, Varsity 3,4, Baseball 4 SSS 2, 3, 4, Corres SeC'y 4, Play Cami 3, 4, Coinin Usher 3, Haze Stall 4, Acro Strzit 4, Editor, Class Sec'y 2, 3, Chorus 2, 3, Art l, Grade School Sf' 4, Viwimtorian. Marvus Hively Zimmerman S SS 2, 3, 4, Reporter 4, Chorus l, Z 3, 4, Mixed Chorus 2, 3, 4, Play Cast 3, 4, Baca Usher 3, Haze Stott 4, Aero Staff 4, Librarian lg Student Council 4

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M019 ecy I, Channing Utter, stepped lightly from my one-man rocket plane and flexed my muscles. Being cramped into that tiny space ship for a flight from Neptune to Earth is still tiresome, even though I had made the trip in a little under two hours and fifteen seconds. I rem-owed my helmet and bazsked in the rays of Earth's sun forthe first time in forty years. It didn't seem possible tlhgtn:oHrr3ii1ch time had elapsed since I had graduated from As I walked down the main street of town, I saw Leininger 61 Sons. much like it had been before. Inside l found tooth- pic'ks himself, I staggered in befwilderment for he was old, gray and wrinkled. Then I realized -that anyone wrho spent the past forty years on Earth would be changed, but not I, for in space there is no age change. After Randall and I got reacquainted we began asking each other about our class- mates. He wanted to kno-w about Terry, Charles, Lyle, Erma Ianet, Bonnie, Karen and Dick Smolker. First oftf, I told him that Terry and Charles got themselves banished to lower Sloibbovia for drag racing their Mutnilks down the milky way. They weren't too sad -about the incident because being Earth people they were treated royally in Slolbbovia. Lyile is manager of the famous Earthettes who recently won the Solar System basketball tournament. Fame has finally hit Erma. She has just returned to -Neptune after completing a solo flight around the universe in 80 'hours, in Sputnik LIX. lanet and Sandy, you know, are making a great deal of money as a result of their trip to Uranius, where they learned the secret 'formula for the solution which restores youth and beauty. Randall quickly mentioned that maybe he could try some of their solution. Bonnie married the King of luplter and moved there. She and her .six dfaugthters are among the l5 best dressed ladies in the universe. Space travel and living was getting difficult with the passing of time because of the number of people inztenested in it. Karen decided a new code of law was necessary. She took the task of writing some that would tbe suitable for the whole Solar System. She is expecting to finish this enormous job in about a year. At the present she is having trouble trying to solve the speed lifmit problem between Mercury and Saturn. Dick holds the ihi-ghestposition possible in the lnter Planetary Police Patrol. ln his -spare time he patrol-s the constellation Southern Cross, 'he just can not separate work from play. . Now, I 'begin to ask Randall about some of our classmates that stayed here on Earth such as Gary, Paul Mel'ba, Con and Larry Rhoades. 'He said, Gary Brown is nofw a midget due to an accident that occurred in Steve Harris' chemistry lab. Gary .fell into a reducermix being concocted to reduce the size of :termites and now Gary can be seen on Saturday nights at the midget races. As for Steve, he discovered a new rocket fuel by mixing one part layne Ma-nsfield's ohieese- cakes with three parts TNT and 'has taken up a happy li-fe of chasing Martian girls. Randall continued, 'Paul Heltzel has finally realized his lifetime ambition, to be an engineer, he now commutes ifactory workers to the new Hydro-statomatcal Superjet Aircraft Corporation from Disko, Athens, and Mt. Zion areas on the early morn-in-g 5:15 express. Melba, Betty D. and 'Betty M. are officers of the now ifamed Bro-kenhearted Old Maids Clubs with the motto We will get our man. Their husbands-to-be -became enthralled with Steve's new lark of chasing outer space girls and joined forces with the old boy. Randall sort of giggling contin-ued, Con, lim, and Roy Lee combined -their three talents, beauty, brains and brawn to form a corporation that makes a new kind of fountain pen that writes on outer space. Remember how Larry R. and Tom iF. used to like FFA. Well, they are atomic farmers raising fabulous corn crops which yield up to 18 gallons to the acre. As I left Leini-nger's Store I was in a happy mood. I bought a newspaper and decided to 'sit and read awhile. The headlin-es read Two of Akron's Axlutmni Novw World Renofwnf' Ross and Norman 'have become fabulously wealthy from their new invention. They found that if they mixed chloroform, ground up Elvis Presley records, fall out and two snorts of Old Factory Whistle , with 3 oz. ether, they had -a perfume with 100 times more power than My Sin and Better Not put together. These boys got their wealth not only .frofm the fact that the perfume is so powerful, but they can get as .much as S25 a -fifth from all the local boys who want to go out on a big, 'big, jag. On the society page I read an article about Carol Lee. She is a famous arti-st because she discovered how to mix stardust and moon glow to produce a new kind of lipstick. Right below the article about Carol Lee was a clipping about Iudy and Loretta. lt seems that they tried their luck at 'Broadway and now are starring in the new production of Hamlet or -better known as Call the Pi-gs Home You-All. Ais I walked on dtowin the street I ran into my old friend Stanlev Utter. Stanley told me that he 'had gone to Pluto to study hair styling. il-le returned to Athens to out the hair of the poor unfortunate Earth people who hadn't as yet adopted the new hep cat hair style that closely resembles the after- math of an Australian bushman-gorilla fight to the death. Stanley also t-:id me haf Clyde and Devon had m-oltvored over to see ho-w the cats on Mercury were -making an easy living. Devon discovered that the Merc. lboys hadn't yet heard of pizza so the opened a pizza house on the hot side of Mercury and hired Clyde as bouncer. Unfortunately, Clyde's weak- ness for pizza put the whole works out of Ibusiness. Now the boys have 'formed a corporation with Bernice who is selling air conditioners to the .Merourian-s. l hear they are getting quite wealthy because of the weather conditions on that planet. Stanley asked me if I heard from Don O. I told him Don was a wandering minstrel. At the present he is enter- taining troops stationed on Rosconal, a new fplanet. Those Rosconalions are really gone on 'him. He was voted the most popular minstrel in space. Carol Ann has the Inter- staler Hotel on Mars, which is famous for its Zorzel steaks an-d Mars candy -bars. Creatures come from all over the universe to eat 'her Zorzel steaks and the Maritians think the candy bars are great. As I walked on down the street, taking in wi-th amazement the changes in Akron and all of my old friends in the past 40 years a messenger came running up to me with a terlef gram from Neptune. -. ADVISE YOUR IMMEDIATE RETURN STOP BIG BUSINESS DEAL STOP BRING SAMPLES OF EARTH MONEY, EARTH FOOD AND EARTH WOMEN STOP IF LOW ON :ROOM IN S-PACE SHIP FORGET MONEY AND FOOD STOP LIKE I SAID - BIG BUSINESS DEAL STOP ' SIGNED AXOLOTYL STOP - As I sorrowfully shoved the telegram into my pocket and headed for my space ship, I heard a loud deafening roar and ducked just in time to miss -getting hit by what appeared to be a vagabond -spaceship. As this antiquated battered-up ship landed, who should stagger out of it but Sharon and Mary. As I heard earlier, these two 'had been missing for 30 years and -people assumed that they were dead. After a short conversation I 'found out that the two girls had gone out in search' of Sputnik antenn-as and ran out of fuel while cruising around in outer space. If they hadn't drifted into lower -Sldbbovia they would still be drifting around. Mary and Sharon indicated that the time on board wasn't totally wasted. 'Ilhey had developed a secret formula for a 'health tonic. This new tonic was called Old Wagonrwheelsu. I would have liked to stay 'longer and talked and sampled their infven-tion ibut the urgency of my telegram forced me to ,push pleasure aside and head for Neptune. As I walked up to my space ship -wiho should be standing there but Larry Powell. Aifter a brief talk I found out that Larry wanted me to drop him off at Jupiter. He wanted to take refuge there to escape paying alimony to four ex-wives and judgments from 'four breach-of-promise suits. As Larry and I boarded my space ship I took on-e last look at Akron and thought over the .happy experiences of the last few days. - O minus 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-0 -- Bramm m-mmmmmmm - whoosh. PACE 21 A f V' I I i .Q . xi! 9-.rl : 5. .Janssen .L ..f-1.59 'i 1 'i Kagan .