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Page 77 text:
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X, -N xxx' 'i-ex cr -ff fe he g Xi - - ,W f N g t, X S WE BEQUEATH 3, N Vx? 5 X li, the memhers ol the llaverlord College 'liechnical 'liraining lie- taelnnent, being ol reasonably sound mind, with earelul judgment. supreme good nature, and malice alorethought, do hereby proclann the lollowing to he the true Last Will and lestament of said lletaclnnentz Our favorite nickle-ilated :resumed vector, 'uaranteed not to shrink. . . . l . l , lr . , dissolve, burn, or interlere with the taking of derivatives, is to heeome the property of Mr. Kikuchi. X . , lo Baylor liierbaum we leave our glass cutter. lllardness ol edge-- 9.S320l.J For Charles Clements we provide the sum of ten l lOl dollars to he in- vested in safe securities at the discretion of the executor, the income lrom which Qthe securities, not the executorl shall be used to provide him 4Clem- ents, not the executor! with sustenance-stew and beans-for the rest of his QC, N il' li, of coursel natural life. Our treasured volume of Di l'fl'7lfl'!11Ef ll!lHiU7Lf for lligli Srl1r1olS!iuff11t.f I . we hereby leave to Dr. Allendoerfer. 'lihe executor of this estate, from the residue thereof. is to mrovide Archie . . , . ,, . I . lubend me to the lront where it s quiet! J johnson with a new pair of gold and blue earmulls. 'Q To Dr. Richard M. Sutton we leave our stainless steel lfrector Set as oui' contribution to the progress of scientihc research. S We take this opportunity to render the city of Philadelphia a half- X hearted apology for numerous invidious comparisons with various cities. XS towns, villages, hamlets, and farms. N Uur russet-hound, gold-trimmed copy of the Infantry Drill .llaniiaf as 'X well as our genuine first edition ol Pon Rfgillatimif we will to Sergeant Hesse. To Dr. Henry in his erstwhile capacity as representative ol the Nohle Urder ol Colleagues we leave one pair ol opera glasses, three 13D jars ol' Btlls lc whi 5 conditioner, and our liest climhin Y irons. P if S For the use of Sergeant Cleaveland we leave our meter sticks. vernier calipers, and micrometers, the hetter to measure hed cuffs with. From the residue of the estate is to lie set aside Slllll for the purchase of a ferry line across Cohlfs Creek, provided that the executor can persuade Dr. Le Galley to manage the enterprise, standing on the shore and exhorting people to get on the boat. contributed to the Home for 'l'he proceeds from this business .ire to he .Xdiahatic Nleteorologists. lo Sergeant Sloman and Private Hown w e leave our iron lung and ont
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Page 78 text:
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R X3 i 7.1 ,X NF X-iii-1-Q i K, XX S X X x 'Q li S+ X x X f half-crate of vitamins, including .-X, B, C, Dx 8 in-lj ln-21 -lx K! Our pocket book edition of Ho-rc' to Cure Stammuririg we leave to Dr Snyder. 'lio the Haverford College Library we leave whatever shall be the unex- pired part of our subscription to True Rorizfiizcrxv. Our supply of black chalk we leave to Dr. Oakley. XVe hereby relinquish all right in all libel suits pending against all or J any member of the 1 re-illvtitfztimi stall. 'lio Miss Beard we leave our jar of sulpha pills. Our collection of dead cats is to be sold at auction, the proceeds of which are to be devoted to the modernization ol Barclay Hall. 'lio Dr. llaviland we leave one carton of chalk-and matches. Our Siglzt,rm'r'.r Guide io NU-ze York we leave to Norman Kranz. lo Barber Nlisciagna we leave our prize non-magnetic, split-second, gyroscopic, sidereal stop watch and our old datebooks lor use in registering appointments. Our special Boa Constrictor Super-Chargo sound wave analyzer, syn- thesizer, and supervisor we leave to Dr. Pepinsky. Our vast accumulation of text books, pamphlets, handbooks, maps, and other academic implements ive leave to the aggressive intellectualism of Bryn Mawr. lo the gay metropolis ol Ardmore we leave our sport coats and pegged trousers. lo the Kilimanjaro lflectrical Company we leave our bell system, com- plete with vicious little button and nerve-paralyzing chimes. Our Kiddie Kolor Books are to be distributed among the children of .Xrdmore to give them a briel reconnaissance ol the situation that obtains in the great valley ol no major importance, the Great Valley. 'lio Sergeant U'Hanlon we leave one unyoused you. XVe leave the one to three and three to five guard shifts as a means of providing work lor unemployed night watchmen. All property not accounted for in this will is to be converted into cash and donated to Haverford College lor the erection ol a building devoted to the teaching ol vector mechanics. It is to he called Conlounder's Hall.
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