Adrian High School - Sickle Yearbook (Adrian, MI)

Page 20 text:

'Che SEJNIOR SICKLE 1922 CLASS WILL I: R. PRESIDENT, Friends, The Class of Twenty-two, about to die, salutes you! Contrary to the custom in such cases, and loath as are all mem- bers of my conservative profession to establish precedents, only at the behest of my noble client, Twenty-two, have I called you 3fll 9' together, before her death, to hear her will and to receive her gifts. I am persuaded to this action by the unusual circumstances of my client-. I dread to tell you, but be calm: The doctor is here ready to revive all fainting ones, but he cannot attend many. Here is my secret, keep it Well! A consultation of doctors was called together on May the 31st,-doctors are never known to fail in their prognostications. They have announced that on Thursday, June the eighth, Twenty-two must die. Had I known what a commotion you would raise, and how badly you would feel, the President himself, could not have dragged this secret from me. My client wishes me to state that, owing to a lightness in the head, caused by its gradual swelling during the last three years, and a heaviness in the heart and other organs, caused by thoughts of parting, she may have been mistaken in her inventory, but such as she thinks she has, she gives to you, praying that you may not believe that it is only because she cannot keep her goods that she is generous. THE WILL We, the Class of Twenty-two, being about to leave this sphere, in full possession of a sound mind, memory, and understanding, do make and pub- lish this, our last will and testament, hereby revoking and making void all former wills by us at any time heretofore made. First, we do direct that our funeral services shall be conducted by our friends and well wishers, the faculty, only enjoining that the obsequies be performed with all the dignity and pomp our situation in the school scale has merited. As to such estate as it has pleased the fates of our strong arms to give us, we do dispose of the same as follows, viz.: Item: We give and bequeath to Miss Patch restful nights and peaceful dreams. We promise her a rest from Twenty-two's petitions. No more will we be called upon to beg for White slips 3-no more will she be pained to issue those of azure hue. It has been hard for us to have our excuses refused, it must have been hard for her to refuse them. Item: We give and bequeath to Miss Higbee permission to have orchestra rehearsals every sixth hour, in the assembly room. I tem: To Miss Marshall we give and bequeath the exclusive use of the picture machine together with such money and receipts as may accrue for the use thereof-to her, her heirs and assigns forever.

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'Che SENIOR S1CKLEl922 Gladwin Sell will become a shoe string merchant. Messrs. Morse, Filter and Seeburger will make a fortune selling post holes. Martha Hicks and Francis DeBow will be leading dentists in Adrian, Michigan. Alma Howe and Leta Jackson will enter vaudeville. Mildred Weaver and Myrna Williams will write movie scenarios. Carl Angell will be a famous evangelist, in Northwestern Canada. Cleo Aldrich, Ruth Ash and Hilda Barber will be known as the Angell Evangelistsf' Helen O'Bryan., Melva Hawkins and Velma Hopkins will run a soap- less laundry in Clinton. Messrs. Davitt, Goodes, Gruber, Hellems, Coy and Eggleston will be conductors on the trans-planet air-line from Earth to Mars. Donald Richardson will be an athletic Coach at the University of Michigan and Hall Spelman will have the chair of English Literature at the same University. Irene Skinner and Clara Procknow will conduct a peanut and lemonade stand in the Philippine Islands. Bernadette Hayward, Margeretta Hafer, Carmon Evilsiser, Clara Kolz and Margaret Smith will be married under a law permitting married women to retain their maiden names. Sesta Tuttle will be known as an acrobat. Doris Nicolai will open a business school in Tipton. Esther Krueger and Marie Krueger and Elda Hiftline will make up the corps of teachers Gertrude Moore will be matron at the East Lansing Orphan's Home. Burdette Andrix, sales manager of the Bancroft Toothpick Co., will deliver toothpicks as fast as manufactured, to Lowth Sisters' Cafeteria, Fairfield, Mich. Francis Collins will teach elocution and oratory to the Hottentots. Ray Clapper and Florence Cole-Clapper will have a fine drug store and lunch room in Monroe. Ernest Kapnick and Gerald Osgood, Adrian's greatest criminal lawyers, will win reputations in the divorce courts. The other members of our class, if we are to believe the learned astrologer, will live happy and useful, but rather uneventful lives, and will be honored and esteemed by their fellowmen. -fuum'Q, iQ.'x5ziisnV- 3

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'Che SENIOR SICKLE 1922 Item: We give and bequeath to Mr. Hollway a year's subscrip- tion to the t'Ladies' Home Journal. Item: To Miss Green we give and bequeath a full sized bottle of Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup and also a copy of Francis Collin's latest song entitled, 'AI didn't raise my boy to be a manager of the Sickle. Item: We give and bequeath to the school as a whole, two songs entitled, respectively: Scotland is Burning, and 'Oh Yankee Doodle, These songs to become the possession of the school on cfmsidertation that she hold them in trust as a nucleus to which each year shallbeiadded at least one new song, until we have a collection of which to be proud. Item: We give and bequeath to our best beloved and cherished sister, Twenty-three, all the love and blessings she may want. She seems to get everything else unaided. The Basketball Championship is hers. She has her full share of school spirit and class conceit. Item: We give to the Freshman Class the following advice, ac- cepting which will lead them to glory: 111 Copy Twenty-two, Q25 Learn to work if not to win, Q35 Development comes sooner through bearing failures than successes, 1.41 It isn't fun that counts, look at Twenty-Two and be encouraged. Item: The following individual seniors leave the following in- dividual bequests: 1. To Leland Schwichtenburg, Burdette Andrix gives and be- queaths his great executive ability. 2. To Kenneth Betz, Francis Collins gives and bequeaths his un- limited vocabulary. 3. To Archer Bennett, Carl Groth gives and bequeaths his great Dramatic ability. 4. To Beryl Hayford, Annette Marquis gives and bequeaths her vamping powers. All the rest and residue of our property, whatsoever and whcreso- ever, of what nature, kind and quality soever it may be, and not herein before disposed of tafter paying our debts and funeral expensesl, we give and bequeath to our beloved principal, Mr. E. J. Reed, for his use and benefit absolutely. If he sees fit he may use the knowledge and startling information we have given him at whatsoever times we may have had Writ- ten quizzes and examinations, in the education of our younger sisters. This latter matter is, however, entirely at his discretion. And we do hereby constitute and appoint the said Principal sole execu- tor of this, our last will and testament. In Witness Whereof, We, the Class of Twenty-two, the testators, have to this our will, written on one sheet of parchment, set our hand and seal, this eighth day of June, Anno Domini, One Thousand Nine Hundred Twenty- two. CLASS OF TWENTY-TWO Witnessed: Gertrude Buck tSeall George Washington tSealJ Bill Hart CSealJ