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Page 78 text:
Bert Manuscript Powmyf Thoughts of Man and
Beast on Ff7Zg67"7'ZdiZ.Y
Wayne Horn's winning essay, "Finger-
nails," in the lnterscholastic League contest,
proves that some like them short, some like
them long, and even the jungle beast takes
an interest in his nails.
This was the winning essay in the school.
The complete essay follows:
lt seems to be the custom of the present
species of human beings to adorn the tips
of their several digits with a horn-like sub-
stance, known collectively as fingernails.
The purpose in this is quite puzzling, and al-
though scientists seem to impress us with
the idea of protecting the nerves upon the
tips of our fingers, it is quite obvious that
many timid ones are known as not to have
any nerve. Regardless of this fact, these peo-
ple also have fingernails.
What, then, is the true mission of finger-
nails? Perhaps that is one of the many in-
terrogatory statements we mortals ask, yet
we are not answered. lt is thus that, to
satisfy our own gross queries, we produce
our various conclusions.
The human male is, as he believes, pun-
ished by fingernails because of the ignoble
actions of past fellows. One asks, "How is
he punished?" Man has no peace in life,
continually tormented by the duty of ampu-
tating the ends of these annoying growths
and extracting the amount of excess filth
from beneath them. His is the sorry lot!
The female animal of the human race is
blessed with those pretty little coral shells.
What a wonderful time she has preparing
those dainty blossoms, in gay-expectation
of some clumsy comment from her foolish
mate. Toiling over her miniature Workbench,
that is, the dresser, she carefully daubs a
tiny brush and smears the nail with paint,
making a grotesque upheaval of the dressery
nevertheless, hers is the happy loti-
Then we arrive at the manicurist. Day by
day, she cleans and polishes. Cutting nails
and cuticles, she lives from one day to the
next in dread anticipation of having some
uncouth male with greasy fingers apply to
her for treatment. Yet there is the joyful ex-
pectation of conversing, across the table,
with some noted society matron. Ah, the
manicurist's lot is a happier one, for finger-
nails pay her.
At last, we consider, not the human, but
the beast. His fingernails are sometimes
rudely regarded, by those with a species
that he suffers greatly from such ridicule, but
it was an act of providence that intended not
for his ears such insults.
The jungle inmates live blissfully unaware
of the moronic beliefs of man. His life is filled
with using his "claws" With them he lives.
Tearing and scratching with his fingernails,
he survives. Skillfully rending his portion of
the kill from the vanquished, he nourishes
himself. Poor man that knows not the way
of the lower animals! Intelligent Carnivore,
his is the happier lot!
Page 77 text:
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Page 79 text:
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