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Page 138 text:
The Prof. coming downstairs in 'his home
slipped and fell to the bottom. Picking him-
self up, he said:
"Now, I wonder what that noise was
Tourist: "How's business hereabout?"
Native: "It's so quiet you can hear the
notes at the bank a block away drawing
A young boy, undergoing an examination
for position, came across the question, "What
is the distance of the earth from the sun?"
He wrote his answer as follows: "I am un-
able to state accurately, but I don't believe
the sun is near enough to interfere with a
proper performance of my duties if I get this
"And," said the instructor to the class
as he finished his lecture, "if the parachute
doesn't open, that is known as jumping to
Froslo: "I guess you've gone out with
worse looking fellows than I am, haven't
you?', QNo answeinj
F rosb: "I say, I guess you've gone out with
worse looking fellows than I am, haven't
C0-ed: "I heard you the first time. I
was trying to think."
IN TI-IE DARK
Frosla: "If I had known that the tunnel
was so long I would 'have kissed you."
Diiio: "Good heavens! Wasn't that you?"
Page Om Ilumlrcrl Thirty-four
A telephone pole never hits a truck except
Dr. Carvem: I find that you have acute
Doris Willbitrf: Don't get fresh, young
fella-just tell me why I have this pain.
An Irishman was relating an experience of
hardship in the jungle. "Ammunition, food,
and whiskey had run outf' he said, "we were
parched with thirst."
"Was there no water?,' asked one listener.
"Sure, but it was no time to be thinking
of cleanlinessf, replied the Irishman.
The correct estimate of a man is about
half way between what his wife thinks of
him and what his stenographer knows about
Dear Folks: Please send four hundred dol-
lars at onceg the school is bankrupt and each
student has to pay double tuition. Kindly
make the check out to me.
JUST IN CASE
Lecturer Qin small townj: Of course,
you all know what the inside of a corpuscle
Chairman of Meeiing Qinterruptingj :
Most of us do, but ye better explain for the
benefit of them as hasn't been inside one.
NO, NO, JANETTE!
He: "Darling, I have been thinking of
something for a long time. Something is
trembling on my lips .... "
She: "Why don't you shave it off?"
Page 137 text:
Two drunks were babbling about cradle
days as they leaned heavily on the bar.
"You know," said one, "when I was born
I only weighed a pound and a half and that's
"You don't shay," said the other. "Did
"Did I live?" exclaimed the first. "Shay
you ought to see me now."
Ioe Lee: "Boy, I'm scared. I just got a
letter from a man telling me he'd shoot me
if I didn't stay away from his daughter."
Boh Hawkins: "Well, all you have to do
is stay away from his daughterf'
joe Lee: "Yeah, but he didn't sign his
Warren Harding: "Did you give your
wife that little lecture on economy you
talked about Chad?"
Chad Sneed: "Oh, yes."
Warren Harding: "Any Results?',
Chad Sneed: "Sure-I've got to give up
Relief work costs twice as much as ordi-
nary labor That's because it takes two men
for every task-one to dilly and one to
Sailor fto Doctorj: "I'm going to marry
a girl named Anne and there's something I
want to get off my chestf'
Doefor: "VVhat is it?"
Sailor: "A tattooed heart with 'Mabel' on
Two old maids went for a tramp in the
woods. The tramp died.
IT PAYS TQ ADVERTISE
There was a man in our town,
The chump thought he was Wise
He swore fit was his policyj
He'd never advertise,
But, one day, he advertised
And hereby hangs a tale-
His ad was set in six-point type
And headed "Sheriff's Sale."
Pa: "Well, son, how are your marks?"
Son: "They're under water."
Pa: "What do you mean, under water?"
Son: "Below 'C' level."
WORST JOKE I EVER HEARD
Teacher: "Can anyone tell what causes
trees to become petrified?"
Bright Student: "The wind makes them
"Which platform for the Boston train?"
Porter: "Turn to the left and you'll be
"Don,t be impertinent, young man."
"All right, then, turn to your right and
you'll be left!"
She: "Would you leave your home for
He: "For you I'd leave a baseball game
in the ninth inning with the score a tie."
Student: "What are your terms for stu-
Landlady: "I generally call them dead
beats and bums."
Page One Hundred Thirty three
Page 139 text:
Hugh Hall, president of the Ianuary
graduating class, Won first place in the Sub-
Ioe Lee of the Iune class Won first place
in the securing of advertising for the Oak.
Page One Hundred Thirty-fi
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