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Page 16 text:
“
LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT
We the class of 1958 of Adams High School in the county of Jefferson in the state of
New York, being of sane mind and sound body, do make, publish and declare this our last
will and testament, in the manner following we do say:
FIRST—We direct that our just debts be paid by the class of 1960.
SECOND—We bequeath the following assets as herein set forth.
1. Dorothy Berry—wills her commercial brain to Nina Nye.
2. Leonard Cool—wills his Senior Play kissing to Daryl Graves.
3. Bruce Dobbin—wills his way with girls to George Flaherty.
4. Glyn Brown—leaves his build to Donald Smithers.
5. Richard Brown—wills a large bag of groceries to Linda LaCette.
6. Jim Elliott—wills his ability to get along with teachers to Jack Jones.
7. Hollis Flaherty—wills his ability to be a guinea pig to Ronald Sloan.
8. George Hallett—wills his collection of thumb tacks and water for chairs to Cliff Wid-
rick.
9. Linda Herman—wills her way with men to Pat Bechtel.
10. Galvin O’Brien—wills his ability to square dance to Coach Kane.
11. Stanley Shelmidine—wills his own book on how to pass Miss Reed’s history exams to
Jenny.
12. Bonnie Van Epps—wills her English ability to A1 Foster.
13. Earl Remington—wills his ability to make posters to Francis Dealing.
14. Stuart Ring—leaves his knowledge of high explosives to Jerry Cool.
15. Dick Walden—leaves his talents for not getting his homework done to Marie Berry.
16. Carol Switzer—leaves her ability to bother people to Dolores Piddock.
17. Bonnie Sheley—wills her creepy stories, caskets and tombstones to Monica Vorce.
18. Lyle Seaman—leaves 1 pound of burned rubber to Keith Weal.
As a whole the class leaves to Mrs. Howard:
1. 1 gallon jug of water
2. 1 bottle of prune juice
3. 2 dozen stale sandwiches
We also will to the Junior class, back assignments, rights and privileges as Seniors and all
the luck in the world.
In witness thereof we have hereunto subscribed our names and affixed our seal, the twenty-
second day of June in the year of our Lord, One thousand nine hundred and fifty-nine.
”
Page 15 text:
“
PROPHECY
Last week. I attended a private reunion of the class of 1959. And as could be expected, I canie upon some rather surprising facts about my former classmates. Calvin O’Brien holds controlling interest in the Berry Lumber Company. It still goes under the name of “Berry,” however. We understand that Ruth makes him toe the line.
Carol Switzer won first prize recently in a “Miss Giggles” contest. She received a laughing hyena to keep her company during her laughing spells. Hollis Flaherty couldn’t make the reunion either. He is a top scientist in Russia and wasn’t allowed out of the country. His name has been changed to Hollinski Flaher- vitch.
Stuart Ring has written a book on “Practical Jokes.” It is reported that Stu has the most extensive collection of humorous devices in the United States. The industrial arts department is now headed by George Hallett. He has Mr. Scholtz beaten—George has lost five fingers.
Glyn Brown wasn’t there but someone had a picture of him and his family. It was very nice except for his 2-year old daughter whose engineer’s boots were slightly large for her. Dorothy Berry is private secretary to the President of the Pineapple Growers of Hawaii. Like most secretaries, she is married to her boss. However, instead of a salary she gets 5 cases of canned pineapple a week.
The Shelmidines, under the leadership of Stanley, have staged a revolution. What used to be Lorraine is now called Shelmidinia and is a limited monarchy. The hopped-up car bug of our class, Lyle Seaman, is truly at home in his occupation. He sweeps the track at Indianapolis.
Earl Remington is still trying to work his way up from the janitor’s job at the drug store. In the meantime he is making posters to earn some extra money. Bruce Dobbins holds the title of champion stock-car racer. Evidently his long locks impaired his vision when he was trying to take the inside curve because he now has a brush-cut.
Richard Brown has been arrested by local authorities upon complaint from the Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. It seems that he was kicked by a cow and was observed chasing it around the barnyard with a pitchfork. Bonnie Van Epps was head of the English department in one of the larger New York City schools. Through her efforts a law was passed that raised teachers’ salaries in the state. It didn’t do her much good, though. She was fired.
Leonard Cool has combined his basketball, musical and West Point backgrounds into one. He plays lead trumpet in the pep band at West Point basketball games. Jim Elliott, who went to Alaska after graduation, spends the majority of his time building additions onto his igloo in order to house his growing family.
Bonnie Sheley, now a full-fledged dental hygienist, has married “Mr. Tooth Decay.” She has the science world completely stumped, though. Her children cut their teeth complete with silver fillings. Richard Walden has left his old shy self behind in favor of being an aggressive business man. He is running a rest home for those between the ages of 2 and 40.
II
”
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