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Page 47 text:
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A. Collins: "You always object when I want to tell you a joke. Always--
it's always the same old story."
J. Ramsey : "I know it is. That's why I object to your telling it over again."
Lelia "Nellie, which would you prefer in your future husband, wealth
ability or appearance
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Nellie: "Appearance, but he's got to appear pretty soon."
Alton Collins: "How much do you weigh ?"
Helen House Cabsent mindedlyl: HNot enough to spoil the crease in your
Belly Wood.' "What becomes of all these love triangles?"
Norm: "They quite often turn into wrecktanglesf'
Nellie Ramsey : "Do you know what scio means ?"
Nellie: l'You know more about Latin than I supposed you did."
Miss Kellogg Cmaking illustration in Geometrylz "Jennie, if I told you
to go somewhere, where would you go?"
Jennie R.: "Probably where you told me to."
Frank S.: "I asked her if I could see her home."
f. Hughes.' "What did she say?"
Frank: "She said she would send me a picture of it right away."
Suspected of being mentally deficient, a schoolboy was asked by a psychologist:
ll v Y pl,
How many ears has a cat.
"Two" the lad replied instantly.
"And how many eyes has a cat ?"
"And how many legs has a cat P"
The boy looked at him suspiciously.
"Say," he inquired, "didn't you ever see a cat?"
F. Williaf11s.' "What is the name of your new wifef'
Coach: "I call her Shasta. Every time we go shopping, shasta have this,
shasta have thatln
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Page 46 text:
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'lSon1nambulist"-a summer house.
"Bigamist"--a man with two wives.
"Polygamist"-a man with more than enough.
'lAbbess"-a deep place.
"Abbess"-talking too much.
'lHoly'l--full of holes.
To gain emphasis in narration, "Write as though you had a sudden in-
spiration where it is possible though not too often."
Arthur's sword was "Excelsior."
'll Went to the Circus with lXIother which had just come to Utica."
l'Down on the ground Santa was busy making toys for the children which
was the day before Christmasf'
"He was a nice man with black hair and a horsef,
Nliss Lawson was trying to get Gene Davidson to say "present.', 'VVhen
she asked what was more important than past, Gene replied "future."
Ward Holley, when called upon to give an oral talk as a salesman, said
that the company he was going to represent had just failed, according to the
Miss Reed Csoliliquizingjz "A pile of bills reaching from the floor to the
ceiling would probably amount to one million dollars."
Ward Holley : l'We,ve got two piles like that at homef'
Helen House Cin shoe shopj: "I would like to see a pair of shoes that
would fit my feet."
Iklr. Snyder: "So would I."
Betty 11700117 "I told you to come after supper."
Norm: "Well, that's what I came afterf,
Miss Lawson: "Kenneth, have you done your outside reading yet?"
WeaI.' l'Not yet, its been such cold weather you knowf'
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Page 48 text:
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Mr. dllen: HI hear your boy has a gift for recitation, Nlrs. Greenleyf'
Mrs. Greenleys HYes, sir, indeed he has. His uncle says that all he wants
is a course on electrocution, just to Hnish him off."
Don't you think," airily suggested H. Chrisman, "that you ought to brush
up a bit on your correspondence? Use big wordsg they lend dignity to your
HPerhaps you're rightf, admitted R. Overton, Hbut, while eschewing
mediocrity of expression through platitudinous phraseology, it behoves one to
beware of ponderosity, and to be mindful that pedantry, being indicatory of an
inherent megalomania, frustrates its own aim and results merely in obnubilationf,
Mrs. Fleming: "Ralph, do you know what memory is?"
Ralph Ofverton: "Yes, that's what you forget with."
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