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Page 22 text:
This is a very confused story, and I must admit that I too, am verv
confused But I must begin at the beginning it all started in that
gay, wonderful city of Paris My name is Pierre and I am a guide in the
cltv One day I was contacted by an Amerlcan to act as special guide
The American was a girl and well being French well, anyway, I
took the job! It seemed that she was a detective and on the trall of a
mlssing group, a Senior Class of l955, I believe She wanted me to take
her to places in f8PlS where she might f1nd some of the members I sug
gested we go to the beautiful Gardens of Tuilliers, Kto find the class,
of course J Oooooo la la!
To travel to the Gardens we took a cab, and when we got into the
vehicle, my lady gave a cry of great joy nBugsl I look about but could
see no sign of insects It then became evident that she was addre sing
the drlver, a Richard Battey She asked him why he had come to Paris ar1
he said that he had become so expert at driving on the left side of t
road that officials had sent him to Paris, where it was legal'
While driving to the Gardens at breakneck speed, down a winding street
our cab was blocked by an excited group We investigated and f d th
cause to be none other than Dorothy Landherr She was jumping up and
do h ti
wn s ou ng, Down with France Johnsburg for World Capital Vive la
Johnsburgl' This created quite a scene Soon we saw someone trying to
drag Dorothy away, my lady recognized her it was Rosella Fasbender cheif
executions at the Guillitolne' It seems that Roselle gets commissions for
extra executions so friend or not Dorothy was next! They call Rosella
W sbender the Fearlessln
Finally we arrived at the Gardens we were sure we would find some of
the members there But of coursel Immediately we found Eugene nRipu Winkels
sleeplng peacefully under a tree The guard told us that Gene had been
there for ten years, so we didn't disturb him'
not only escorting one girl, he'd stay with one for five minutes, go on to
another, a d so n Now I know what you Americans mean when you say
HDemocracy It's wonderful' I'm French but he could el
We left the Gardens then and began our sightseeing tour We found
pretty glrl h
by the Eiffel Tower Terry Huemann He was making a
of the Tower He has one difficulty every time he sees a
knocks it over trying to t1p his hat' Paris is full Of
so Terry's been working on it for ten years now I don't
says the work is very interesting' Vive la Toothpicks'
On the way, we decided to go back to ner hotel to see about any mes
saves We dld so, and there she was very pleased to see a new doorman
Delores Stephoni It seems that slnce the hotel Ritz had hlred her, busi
ness had doubled No great puzzle' Vive la girls!
An American maid had been contacted for my client It happened to be
lary Ann Huemann, traveling in disguise Mary Ann lS usually known as
nHe man the Lady Terror She wrestles at some of the classiest arenas
A really fatal female! Vive la glrls'
We then went shopping and ran into Mary Jax and LaVonne Hueman They
told my lady that their husbands had started a French branch of a famous
implement business' I think the name was Desota I don't know for sure'
Then we decided to stop at some of the famous Paris women's shops
The first person we encountered was Juanita Voigt, director of the House
ion Juanlta has been using quite a few of the deslgns of that
Vive la love'
know why but he
Jim Hunt The rumor is that they work a lot overtime'
nPetite darl np
fellow, I didn't
model at the salon was Lois walker recently voted the
of Paxee She has a new campaign manager, some blond
catch his name'
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Continuing we met..or rather followed...Connie Schaefer. Connie was
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Page 21 text:
Th 0lfEfillf'f"'T"EY CnmERuvEWu.z.mms Eownreol4!,NKsLg
ous a P 9 510W in Under her quiet er lit E .
Elasies, mighty fast with lies a subtle wig. Sona Y ddies motto. Slow but SURE
e asses- Band 2,3,u F-F-A- 1,2.3.u
Football 1,2,3,u Library Club 2,24 glass Play is
Basketball Mgr. 1,2 Pep Club u ev Club U
Class Play 3,h
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Glee Club 2,3,u
F.F.A. 1,2,3 Library Ass't 3
O Bed! O Bed! O delicious .
bed! That heaven upon earth Behind that 3511111933: Pm-1
to the weary head. conceals a sparkling personality,
UGENE WINKELS Pl-HLOMENH WaNKELs
Page 23 text:
We hmd to contlnue then, much to my regret and whlle l avinp I was
unacnguntably drawn to the perfume counter The salesllrl was Joanne
B ser t e
ce la raix
over boy seldel and Darlene HHed' Hanson Just
and I a ked my cllent 'I o1dn't know Amerlcan men
prod c was demon trated' Ooooo la la' Tre nerfame it elf
Bomhn was cremted and sold by larvin Elllngson and Lawrence
o a melly Bus nes
famous street, the Rue
flourishes, sat Lar
one thing pu vled me
wore llp tick'
known as the ' g an nlt e Q IDKGPS
ain lnto the streets, we walked up that
lhere ln a sidewalk cafe, where love
lalghed oh, Pell Vive la love'
lhe POUHt8lDS of '8PlS are an object of great interest, and tte e
fllllnl hls super Jet water pistol was bill Nalder It' Dart of h1 ac
at the Opera HThe ouncinv f Ba l
spent tne afternoon at the races a d e saw at once tdat the
s d bOOKl6 wa none other than Roger Roll it inn hithe
e made a few investments on the side V1ve la nonev'
saw on tte P8ulHU sheet that the favorlte for t1at day was the
rldden by Conrle Palver on, that famous horse lover The name of her
was HThe 1ar'ne's Hymn Don't ask me why'
We heard by the grapevine that Jackle McGee has started a fabulous
Glitter Palace You all know that Jackie has recently gone 1nto the
Jewelry business V1ve la Diamonds!
A policeman stopped our taxi it turned out to be nArchie Mullenbach
He used to be commissioner but now he's directing traffic, due to a sllgnt
scandal concerning bribery by Jean Staebler, head of an internatlonal
smuggling rin , nThe Redheads Ring Purely circumstantial evldence con
v cted nArchie you see, he's a redhead too
Also high in the civic improvements in Parls is Bob btzke He lures
the sewer rats 1nto the river with his trumpet it drives them mad' His
professional name9 'The Pied Piper of Pa is Vive la rats'
At the customs office we ran into Milo he's been trying to convince
officlals to import LeRoy as a permanent suburb of Parls iis campaign
slogan? You guessed it nLeRoy for Lewison and vice versa Anot er
worried customer was Lorralne Retterath, she's been trving to get offlcials
to lmport her husband to go with her ring Fhere's a silly law barring
We then hurried to an uptown address On the way, under the Arc de
Triomphe, Harlan Bergene showed us his terriflc buslness a hamburger
stand which caters to girls. His product Bergene's Burgers for Boundlng
It started to rain and we ducked into a doorway We were yanked in
side and introduced to a new bu lro s Gert Weydert is a famous halr
stylist 'Weydert's Wavies are internationally famous Next door, Ed
Winkels, the famed toupee maker also has a thriving business, owed chiefly
to the development of a new product, 'Edd1e's Eraser If you're not bald
when you enter, you are when you leave' Gert throws a lot of business his
At the cocktail party we met Philomena Winkels, famed novelist and
lecturer Her latest book is nHow to Win Boys and Influence Professors
She's an 'An student at The University of Paris Vive la brains'
Wayne Mullenbach, the famed Olympic Runner, was another of the guests
He claims his greatest acheivement as a runner is staying a bachelor
Tom Steichen, famed hunter and trapper, has journeyed to Paris for
more vicious game. He may find more than he bargained for! Vive la women!
We left the party early and went to see the famous Notre Dame
Cathedral, then traveled on to the Lourve, where we had heard Janice
Anderson's art showing was being honored. We didn't see Janice, but we did
see Elene Loecher, voted the most brilliant woman in Paris. Elene is also
running for Premier of France! I'm for it! Vive la politics!
She invited us to the theatre that evening and we accepted. The
Grand Opera and Theatre of Paris was buzzing with celebritles. Roger nThe
Sheikn Voigt, known for his rugged profile, was among the first nighters.
His date for the evening was that nLittle Breath of Irelandn, Betty Jo
Hurley. They arrived in her Kelly Green Cadillac Convertible.
The curtain went up and the play began. Joyce Valoer, nThe Helen
Hayes of Parisn, portrays the tragic sweetheart in that ever best seller,
nGone with the Garlic.n The rave notices were t6PP1fiC!
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