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The Story of
Mildew Collitch was found-
ed hack in the dark ages by the
illustrious Professor Danderu ff,
hut the site of the collilch still
remains a secret. The story goes
that the Prof. went haywire
while trying to teach his pet
turtle to roll over on his hack
and play dead, and that soon
after he hegan construction on
the institution. The campus
runs north and south, and the
students all run across the street to play baffle hall. The administration huilding
is in the center and is liuilt of hricks which were thrown at the Prof. by the irate
parents of its inanimate inmates. The administration huildng is a one-room affair
and since it is the only ljllllflillgl, it comprises the collitch. On the east side of the
room there is a soda fountain which has a hrass rail running around the foot. On
the first day of school the llrofessor hroke the big mirror hack of the fountain.
gixingr himself seven years of hard luck9 so he calmly broke thirteen more and
made a lifetime sentence of it.
Classes are taught ex ery time the students can catch the Prof. soher enough to
come to school. On Friday s. Saturdays, and holidays the Prof. teaches a class in
deaf and dumb speech arts. He niakes the students use resin on their fingers so that
they wonlt stutler. On Sunday night, Prof. Uanderuff teaches a class in one-arm
driving. and every morning he teaches the pupils the correct method to sleep late.
The graduates of Mildew who wish to continue their education may take advanced
courses along the same lilies at the Ahilene State Hospital. There are two post grad-
uate courses offered at the Collitch, one in N o-H oing, and tl1e other for those who
plan to become professional zoo keepers.
Taken all in all, Mildew Collitch is a wonderful place to go after you finish
high school if your parents havent enough money to have a special doctor attend you.
Nerls, ncrls. flying rnuml,
In lfzc trees and on the gl'0lHIff,
ll seems they 6'l2lTl"YlL'lICI4t? almzmfl.
Nerls, always nerls.
Some of flzem are llllflf and louglz.
Some are SIIIUOIII and some are rough,
Some. by gunz. are cracked CII0llgll!
Nerls, yea nerls. '
Azul poor .saps like you and me
Close our eyes mul fail to sec
HOIL7 we prove ourselves I0 be.
Nerls, plain IIRl'l.S'.l
One llunrlrwzl TIl'f'lZffl"f'i,2'IIf”