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Page 43 text:
Page 42 text:
The BLUE and GOLD
Old Umbrella Man: I-Iow's busi-
Scissors Grinder: Fine, I've
never seen things so dull.
Restaurateur Kto applicant for a
positionlz You say you have experi-
Ex-Convict: Yessir, I've been
serving for the last ten years.
If a horse falls into your bathtub,
pull the plug out.
THE INEVITABLE END
Although he covets it from birth,
And covets it through life's brief
Man never, never get the earth,
It is the earth that get the man.
A sparrow perched on a golf-ball
just as the player was about 'to
drive. Birds instinctively know the
safest place in a moment of danger.
Cop: Hey, what are you trying
Man: I'm trying to pull this
lamp off the bridge, My wife, wants
a bridge lamp.
Someone has said, There is no
difficulty in this world that cannot
be overcome. Wonder if he has
ever tried putting toothpaste back
into the tube?
NOT A PATENT MEDICINE
History Lecturer: Can any of
you tell me what makes the Tower
of Pisa lean?
Corpulent Lady: I don't know or
I'd take some myself.
'fAt least once in my life I was
glad to be down and out.
And when was that?
After my first trip in an air-
plane. The pilot flew upside down
most of the time.
Do you know Lincoln's Gettys-
No: but in Washington it was
the White House.
Orlando: Yep, I built this radio
set all by myself, Bill.
Bill: I believe it, she whistles
for every station!
A man was hogging his son on
his knee, when the young one bit
him. The father said: What are
you biting me for? The son re-
plied: Who beginned this war 'I
Father: And there, son, I have
told you the story of your daddy
and the Great War.
Son: Yes, daddy, but what did
they need all the other soldiers
Brown: What will you give me
for my daughter's piano?
Naybor: S500.00, sawed, split
A REVISED VERSION
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
the nursery rhyme so familiar to
everybody, has been revised by a
committee of eminent scholars with
the following result:
Shine with irregular, intermitted
light, sparkle at intervals, dimin-
utive, luminous, heavenly body,
How I conjecture, with surprise, not
unmixed with uncertainty, what
Located, apparently, at such a re-
mote distance from and at- a
height so vastly superior to thi
earth, the planet we inhibit.
Similar in general appearance and
refractory powers to the precious
primitive octahedron crystal of
pure carbon, set in the aerial re-
gions surrounding the earth.
REASON T0 CRY
Little boy: Papa, there's an old
man standing on the corner hold-
ing out his basket and crying.
Please give me a dime for him.
Unsuspecting Dad: Here you are,
son. What's he crying about?
Little Boy: Balloons: Nice bal-
loons, three for a dime.
THEY COUl.DN'T BE WRITTEN
In penmanship class one pupil had
failed to have his work done for
several days. The instructor told
him that as a penalty he would
have to write a composition of 250
words to be read in class the fol-
lowing day. This is what he wrote:
Last summer my uncle pur-
chased a second-hand car, with
which he started a trip out West.
On his second day out it rained
very hard and on a lonely road the
car stoppedg, the other 215 words
are what my uncle said trying to
get that car to go.
A 'lawyer, pleading the case of
an infant plaintiff, took the child,
suifused with tears, in his arms
and presented it to the jury. This
had a great effect till the opposite
lawyer asked what made him cry.
He pinched me, answered the
Cohen and Macpherson were
matched, and at the sixth the lat-
ter drove a beautiful ball straight
up the fairway. Cohen followed, but
went into the rough. After smiting
about wildly he managed to get
Hoo many? queried the Scots-
Three, replied Cohen.
Why, I counted ten masell
Vas it my fault if I had to kill
a grass snake? asked the resource-
Poland China: What's that ban-
tarri' rooster strutting about now
Razorback: Didn't you see the
boss's plane take off? Well, he
thinks he chased it away.
KNEW HIS GEOGRAPHY
Yes, stamp collecting is educa-
tional, said the fond mother to the
visitor. For instance, where is
Without looking up from his
stamp book the young philatelist
answered promptly, Two pages in
front of Italy.
KNEW QUARTS BETTER
Pedagog: Name the constituents
His Father's Son: Pints.
New Yorker: Where do you live?
Boy: Minute Street.
Never heard of it before.
Well, other people call it Sixty-
TOO MUCH COMPETITION
Mrs. Newly-Rich was recounting
to an acquaintance the thrilling
events of the night before, when
the house had been burgled.
As a matter of fact, she said,
we were eating our soup-
Then of course, interrupted the
candid friend, none of you heard
Miss Fedow: Kitty, this meat
Student: That's funny. I admit
I burnt it: but I applied unguentine
Name? queried the immigration
Sneeze, the Chinese replied
The official looked hard at him.
Is that your Chinese name? he
No, English name, the oriental
Then let's have your native
Ah Choo, said the Chinese.
NO SLEUTHING NEEDED
How did you find the weather
while you were away ?
Just went outside and there it
Wouldn't it be funny if:
Mr. Myers wore a beard?
Miss Barlow forgot her earrings?
Clarence Nicholson went with anyone by Evelyn
Mary Day palled with the same fellow for two weeks?
Bobby Miller appeared at school with a bad disposi-
Mr. Winn would wear green cap and mittens next
Mr. McLean came to school without a car full of girls?
Dick Juby went to band contests with anyone but
Dorothy I-Ieltzel flunked all four subjects?
Irene Solyom wore long curls?
No cars from Elgin High School were seen in front of
Abbott School at noon hour?
Bethryn Foltz forgot how to play the piano?
Dorothy Sechrist didn't have five boys on the string?
Frances McCarthy wore small shoes?
Clark McCornack didn't meet Dorothy Larson between
Wilcke Lou Hicks didn't try to show off?
Dick Fink drove a car to school?
Mildred Yates were seen at the store room not sur-
rounded by students?
Miss Taylor didn't make the annual a success?
Evelyn Ramm were a blonde?
Certain boys didn't like snakes?
Miss Fedou's girls couldn't make delicious pies?
We weren't proud of our band and orchestra?
Mr. Miller were ungracious?
Miss Geister taught -manual training?
Marge Knuth weren't busy?
Ralph Day were elected May Queen?
No one wanted vacation to come?
Anyone found out who wrote this?
Page 44 text:
The BLUE and GOLD
-Mr. Miller gave a welcome Address.
-Mr. Saam gave a very interesting speech
concerning the values of education and
scholarship both now and later.
-First' pep meeting! The hand played several
selections and several speeches were given.
-The Abbottarian Staff gave a splendid pro-
gram in auditorium.
-We had a pep meeting in the auditorium.
-Band gave a concert for auditorium program.
4-Orchestra gave a concert for auditorium
11-Mr. Franklin Sorn and Dr. Lawrence J.
Hughes sang some excellent duets.
18-Mr. Goble spoke on the topic, Choosing.
25-Band gave a concert.
1-Abbott Boys' Quartette gave an excellent
1-No school this afternoon because of the
N.R.A. parade in which the band marched.
3-No school!! Teachers went to Teachers Meet-
ing at Joliet.
8-A banquet was very much enjoyed by the
honor students and faculty of Abbott
8-Dr. Yi-fang Wu of Nanking University in
China gave a very interesting talk. She
is one of the party of the missionary, E.
15-Dr. Weng gave an interesting talk on the
topic, Where do we go from here.
22-The Abbott Quintette played two enjoyable
numbers, and Mr. Charles Page talked to
us on the topic, Practice of Law.
28-Abbott Band gave its annual concert.
29-The clarinet quartette played two numbers.
Rev. Brown spoke to us on the topic, Liv-
ing the Right Kind of Lives.
6-The orchestra gave a concert for auditorium
13-Mrs. Weng sang several bueautiful Christ-
mas songs. Mr. Weng told us how other
countries celebrated Christmas.
18-Attention!! Abbott School Play was presented.
A matinee was enjoyed by the students
and children of other schools. An evening
performance pleased the older folks.
20-The Abbott chorus presented several delight-
3-Mr. Miller gave a short welcome address
which was followed by several excellent
piano solos played by Mr. Freeman Kadow.
12-Mr. Saam gave- an excellent talk.
17-Rev. Bennett gave a very interesting speech
on the topic, Going Beneath the Surface.
22-Boys' Athletic department gave an amazing
22-23-Nights for studying for exams!!
26-No School!! Teachers' Meeting.
31-Mr. Miller told us what affect education has
on the affairs of our country.
7--Rev. Milmine told us not to take short cuts
in the experiences of life but to get love
and worthwhile knowledge out of every-
thing we do.
14-Mr. Young entertained us with several of
his clever magic tricks.
21-Miss Alice Tobin sang several enjoyable
23-Attention!!! Abbott Band presented its
second annual minstrel show. Four splen-
did performances were enjoyed by many
adults and children.
28-Miss Jeanette Kling gave us some very good
advice on, Charm and Personality.
7-Girls' Glee Club and Abbott String Quin-
tette gave several delightful musical se-
14-The Girl Reserves presented a pantomime.
16-Abbott Band presented a concert at Plato
17-The G.A.A. gave a party for all the mem-
bers and their friends.
21-A puppet show was given by the Blue and
Gold Stall' to advertise the Annual.
28-Letters!! Letters!! Blue and Gold letters
were awarded to the boys who had shown
their ability in football, basketball, and
tumbling. The brass quartette, cornet
quartette, and ilute quintette gave several
-The Abbott Band gave a splendid concert.
-7-Attention!!! Abbott Band. several soloists,
and three ensembles went to Joliet to the
district contest. The band and three en-
sembles received superior ratings. They
are now eligible for the state contest at
Urbana. The soloists rated good and
-Abbott Annual Stunt show was given. There
were many splendid stunts presented by
the various home rooms.
-Girls' Tumbling team gave a remarkable
tumbling program. Marilyn Jane Porter
gave several clever tap dances. Election
goxidMay Queen and her attendants was
-The band presented a. delightful program.
-27-28-Notice!! Abbott Band and Ensembles
went to Urbana for the State Contest.
The ensembles received good and ex-
cellent ratings while the band received
a good rating.
2-Several enjoyable vocal solos were presented
by Mr. Paul Born.
4-The orchestra present a splendid concert.
5-Attention!! Orchestra, soloists, and an en-
semble went to the State Contest at Joliet.
The soloists and ensemble received good
and excellent ratings. The orchestra
received excellent ratings.
11-Special band and orchestra members went to
Aurora to play in the Fox Valley Festival.
There were also several delegates from the
Girls' Glee Club who did not participate
but went to hear it.
16-Mr. Vonckx gave a very enjoyable talk.
17-Attention!! The Abbott Spring Fete was pre-
sented with its usual colorful dancing and
music and its lovely May Queen.
23-Mr. Helman gave a very interesting talk.
29-The students enjoyed a Memorial Day Pro-
2-The band played at the World's Fair.
8-End of school year.
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