Page 42
Text from page 42:
|
Search for Classmates, Friends, and Family in one of the Largest Collections of Online Yearbooks!Your membership with E-Yearbook.com provides these benefits:
- Instant Access to Millions of Yearbook Pictures Online
- Full Access to High-Resolution, Full-Color Images
- Search, Browse, Read, and Print Yearbook Pages
- Access College, High School, and Military Yearbooks
- Support the Schools in our Program by Subscribing
|
“
The BLUE and GOLD
Old Umbrella Man: "I-Iow's busi-
ness ?"
Scissors Grinder: "Fine, I've
never seen things so dull."
Restaurateur Kto applicant for a
positionlz You say you have experi-
ence?
Ex-Convict: Yessir, I've been
serving for the last ten years.
If a horse falls into your bathtub,
pull the plug out.
THE INEVITABLE END
Although he covets it from birth,
And covets it through life's brief
span,
Man never, never get the earth,
It is the earth that get the man.
A sparrow perched on a golf-ball
just as the player was about 'to
drive. Birds instinctively know the
safest place in a moment of danger.
Cop: "Hey, what are you trying
to do?"
Man: "I'm trying to pull this
lamp off the bridge, My wife, wants
a bridge lamp.
Someone has said, "There is no
difficulty in this world that cannot
be overcome." Wonder if he has
ever tried putting toothpaste back
into the tube?
NOT A PATENT MEDICINE
History Lecturer: "Can any of
you tell me what makes the Tower
of Pisa lean?"
Corpulent Lady: "I don't know or
I'd take some myself."
WHEW.
'fAt least once in my life I was
glad to be down and out."
"And when was that?"
"After my first trip in an air-
plane. The pilot flew upside down
most of the time."
HIS ADDRESS
"Do you know Lincoln's Gettys-
burg address?"
"No: but in Washington it was
the White House."
Orlando: "Yep, I built this radio
set all by myself, Bill."
Bill: "I believe it, she whistles
for every station!"
A man was hogging his son on
his knee, when the young one bit
him. The father said: "What are
you biting me for?" The son re-
plied: "Who beginned this war 'I"
CIIATTEB
Father: "And there, son, I have
told you the story of your daddy
and the Great War."
Son: "Yes, daddy, but what did
they need all the other soldiers
or."
Brown: "What will you give me
for my daughter's piano?"
Naybor: "S500.00, sawed, split
and delivered."
A REVISED VERSION
"Twinkle, twinkle, little star,"
the nursery rhyme so familiar to
everybody, has been revised by a
committee of eminent scholars with
the following result:
Shine with irregular, intermitted
light, sparkle at intervals, dimin-
utive, luminous, heavenly body,
How I conjecture, with surprise, not
unmixed with uncertainty, what
you are,
Located, apparently, at such a re-
mote distance from and at- a
height so vastly superior to thi
earth, the planet we inhibit.
Similar in general appearance and
refractory powers to the precious
primitive octahedron crystal of
pure carbon, set in the aerial re-
gions surrounding the earth.
REASON T0 CRY
Little boy: Papa, there's an old
man standing on the corner hold-
ing out his basket and crying.
Please give me a dime for him.
Unsuspecting Dad: Here you are,
son. What's he crying about?
Little Boy: Balloons: Nice bal-
loons, three for a dime.
THEY COUl.DN'T BE WRITTEN
In penmanship class one pupil had
failed to have his work done for
several days. The instructor told
him that as a penalty he would
have to write a composition of 250
words to be read in class the fol-
lowing day. This is what he wrote:
"Last summer my uncle pur-
chased a second-hand car, with
which he started a trip out West.
On his second day out it rained
very hard and on a lonely road the
car stoppedg, the other 215 words
are what my uncle said trying to
get that car to go."
A 'lawyer, pleading the case of
an infant plaintiff, took the child,
suifused with tears, in his arms
and presented it to the jury. This
had a great effect till the opposite
lawyer asked what made him cry.
"He pinched me," answered the
little innocent.
OTHERWISE ENGAGED
Cohen and Macpherson were
matched, and at the sixth the lat-
ter drove a beautiful ball straight
up the fairway. Cohen followed, but
went into the rough. After smiting
about wildly he managed to get
clear.
"Hoo many?" queried the Scots-
man.
"Three," replied Cohen.
"Why, I counted ten masell"
roared Mac.
"Vas it my fault if I had to kill
a grass snake?" asked the resource-
ful Cohen.
BARNYARD CI-IATTER
Poland China: What's that ban-
tarri' rooster strutting about now
for.
Razorback: Didn't you see the
boss's plane take off? Well, he
thinks he chased it away.
KNEW HIS GEOGRAPHY
"Yes, stamp collecting is educa-
tional," said the fond mother to the
visitor. "For instance, where is
Hungary, son?"
Without looking up from his
stamp book the young philatelist
answered promptly, "Two pages in
front of Italy."
KNEW QUARTS BETTER
Pedagog: Name the constituents
of quarts.
His Father's Son: Pints.
HIS VERSION
New Yorker: Where do you live?
Boy: Minute Street.
"Never heard of it before."
"Well, other people call it Sixty-
second Street."
TOO MUCH COMPETITION
Mrs. Newly-Rich was recounting
to an acquaintance the thrilling
events of the night before, when
the house had been burgled.
"As a matter of fact," she said,
"we were eating our soup-"
"Then of course," interrupted the
candid friend, "none of you heard
anything."
Miss Fedow: Kitty, this meat
tastes queer.
Student: That's funny. I admit
I burnt it: but I applied unguentine
immediately.
TRANSLATION
"Name?" queried the immigration
official.
"Sneeze," the Chinese replied
proudly.
The official looked hard at him.
"Is that your Chinese name?" he
asked.
"No, English name," the oriental
said blandly.
"Then let's have your native
name."
"Ah Choo," said the Chinese.
NO SLEUTHING NEEDED
"How did you find the weather
while you were away ?"
"Just went outside and there it
was."
Wouldn't it be funny if:
Mr. Myers wore a beard?
Miss Barlow forgot her earrings?
Clarence Nicholson went with anyone by Evelyn
Ramm?
Mary Day palled with the same fellow for two weeks?
"Bobby" Miller appeared at school with a bad disposi-
tion?
Mr. Winn would wear green cap and mittens next
winter?
Mr. McLean came to school without a car full of girls?
Dick Juby went to band contests with anyone but
Crary's?
Dorothy I-Ieltzel flunked all four subjects?
Irene Solyom wore long curls?
No cars from Elgin High School were seen in front of
Abbott School at noon hour?
Bethryn Foltz forgot how to play the piano?
Dorothy Sechrist didn't have five boys on the string?
l33l
Frances McCarthy wore small shoes?
Clark McCornack didn't meet Dorothy Larson between
periods?
Wilcke Lou Hicks didn't try to show off?
Dick Fink drove a car to school?
Mildred Yates were seen at the store room not sur-
rounded by students?
Miss Taylor didn't make the annual a success?
Evelyn Ramm were a blonde?
Certain boys didn't like snakes?
Miss Fedou's girls couldn't make delicious pies?
We weren't proud of our band and orchestra?
Mr. Miller were ungracious?
Miss Geister taught -manual training?
Marge Knuth weren't busy?
Ralph Day were elected May Queen?
No one wanted vacation to come?
Anyone found out who wrote this?
”