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Page 44 text:
Page 43 text:
tions-1965A.D. There is a pause between pro grams while Chiquita Olney sings, " Apply Appell ' s Appealing Shampoo for an appalling appearance. " And now the broadcast is switched to the scene of the Annual Animal show just in time to hear that Joan Oven ' s gorgeous golden Guernsey has won the National Cow Cup. In the canine section, Sally Nesbitt ' s champion cockers missed first prize because of fugitives from Espaillat ' s flea circus. The blue ribbon for mis- cellaneous creatures was awarded to Marshall ' s wonderful worms, and the prize for the most plen- tiful animal to Jo Parks, guardian of the Valley of the Shmoon. Another news flash comes in that Pendleton has just been appointed Secretary of the Navy by President Hamby, and Herrera has been appointed Decorator of the Interior. The next program is " The Adventures of Madame Bonzo Je tiers, " who has been in a trance for six days while singing her theme song, " Be- witched, Bothered, and Bewildered. " It is rumored that the purpose of the trance is to solve the problem of Jan Woodward ' s male harem which increases at an alarming rate every time she goes to Boston. The program is interrupted by an emergency call for Dr. Newhall, famous psychi- atrist, to look into the sad case of the great natu- ralist Mazie Mansfield, who has gone berserk look- ing for four-leaf clovers. Now comes " The Scientific Hour, " sponsored by Stevens ' Terrific Telescope Polish. The main speaker is Deborah Williams, professor of Physics at Cornell, who makes public the new theory of Perpetual Motion just discovered by her assistant, Joan Gallagher. The next speaker is Professor Jordan who discusses her recent debate with Einstein on the theorv of Relativitv. She attributes her success to Wadleigh ' s great book, " Win Your Point or Die. " Trainer Jane Noss reports that her protegee Daring Dartty has made a record high jump to the unknown planet Velveeta, where she met Woolver- ton, the hermit, who has been missing for the past decade. 
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UNDERCLASSES Included in our parade are the animals, whose gay cavortings are a constant delight to their public. . . We have them all; elephants, giraffes, hippos and monkeys— and all of them are part of the show, for without them our circus could not be successful. 
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