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WEATHER Hurricane fol- lowed by a col- lision of Saturn and Mars. THE FUTURE TIMES ABBOT ALUMNAE EDITION Vol. 19, No. 45 AXDOVER, MASSACHUSETTS May 21, 1965 FLOODS OVERRUN HOLLAND Reported by Correspondent Mitchell Joan Mitchell, foreign correspondent, reports that as soon as she set foot in Holland all the dikes broke and the country became flooded. They are investigating the causes of this phenomenon, and Miss Mitchell has been recalled, as it is believed that the future safety of Hol- land hangs in the balance. BIG THREE ASKS: WILL HERMIT MAKE ANNUAL PILGRIMAGE? The official spokesman for the Big Three announced today that the Conference has placed an appeal in Theater Arts to hermitess Esther Bufferd, requesting her not to forego her annual appearance in civilization. In past years she has abandoned her cave in Lonely Valley only at the spring equinox, leaving a trail of poetry and paintings behind her. The Conference feels that her cul- tural information will prove invaluable. Last March recluse Bufferd was quoted as saying, " Theater Arts is my only communication with the outside world. " FLASHES FROM ABROAD Reported by Correspondent Boynton Today, in Sing Lo, China, history was made as Miss Cynthia Smith, that patient lady from Wellesley, Mas- sachusetts, converted her 1500th Chinese woman. At the ceremony honoring Miss Smith was an Abbot class- mate of hers, Miss Holly Welles, another missionary, whose courageous work in bringing musical and the- atrical art to the Chinese has been hailed from all quarters. FLASH: Miss Elizabeth Dickerman, after digging for fifteen years in Crete, has unearthed the original snake goddess. Wise men from all centers of learning are rush- ing to see this famous wonder. LATEST NEWS FROM THE PEACE CONFERENCE Reported by Boynton President Paterson and Secretary of the Navy Two- mey admit that they are disturbed about the recent revolt staged in Guatemala. The instigator of this revolt is Ami Persson. Heated discussions are being held at the White House. Paterson is setting a new precedent by insisting that she will run for only one term. The soul retainer of Law and Order at the Conference are the hysterical remarks of Robbins the Cabinet jester. THE WORLD OF SPORTS A list of the United States Olympic teams for 1965 was released this morning. Women seem to be in the lead. Two well-known sports women, Mary Taylor and Sally Spear, took the honors in basketball. Barbara Ball is the trainer of these two girls. Both of them got their start at Abbot Academy. The track team is well taken care of, for it consists of Joan Holdsworth, who will be re- membered as the young lady who broke the records at the IT2A Meet. In a furiously played singles match, Andree Luce conquered a jinx and won the U. S. tennis nationals. Miss Luce played a fast, loose game, which might be called the most spectacular of her brilliant career. Yesterday afternoon at Falling Downs Helen Xorris won the annual steeplechase. The race was close, until Miss Xorris, abandoning her mount, cleared the last hedge to come in several hundred yards ahead of her closest competitor. Advertisements Have you lost your ring? I am a whiz at trailing lost rings (and returning them). . .Nancy Stone Lost and Found: One head, belongs to Betty Graves (she thinks: it might be Beecher ' s). Rest-A-While: The perfect home for women who wisely scorn the companionship of men (Old Maids). Apply : Barbara Haserick. 
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THE FUTURE TIMES S.D.L. STUMPED IN NEW YORK Expert Sally Drew Leavitt of " Information Please, " known to thousands as S.D.L. , last night failed to answer a question put to her for the first time since she joined the program five years ago. To Miss Ruth Lazarus, Cincinnati schoolmarm, goes the distinction of being the one who asked the unanswerable question. After Shirley Sommer, master of ceremonies, read the famous question, a tense, expectant silence fell on the audience and was broken only by guest expert Andrea Lyons ' appropriate comment, " Whew! " SUICIDE BECAUSE OF THWARTED LOVE This afternoon the body of Miss Ann Bushnell was found lying on the Abbot circle, where she landed after leaping from the second step of Draper Hall, fatally breaking her neck. The direct cause of the suicide is not known, but it is believed that it is because of unfortun- ate love, since recently a malicious young woman, Patty Patton, stole Miss Bushnell ' s man. POWER PLANT EXPLODES AT PIGEON COVE A violent explosion rocked Cape Anne last night when the power plant here was completely destroyed. The cause of the explosion is not yet known, but it is believed that an assistant physicist, Barbara Beecher, might have had something to do with it. She is known as the " mad scientist ' and has been working alone on an experiment with a generator and a voltometer. The only casualties were Judy Gage and Suzanne Leland. The explosion is being thoroughly investigated by super- sleuth Josephine Bernardin. THE MYSTERY OF THE MODERN KITCHEN Solved by world famous homemaker: Nancy Dodge Advert isemen t CHIC HAT SHOP Miss Mulford, Proprietor All styles and varieties Scintillating Revolutionary Book of the Century Club Hails " REBMA REVEROF " by Mary Jane Hodges HIGHLIGHTS IN THE WORLD OF CULTURE Miss Marianna Marsz, Miss Carlotta Welles and Miss Beatrichee Van De Cluster, who have recently distinguished themselves as three of the greatest ac- tresses of today, appeared together last night for the first time in Gibsonworthybung ' s popular Heated Harem The highlight of the performance occurred when a pearl ring was thrown to Miss Marsz by a handsome admirer. Miss Welles and Miss Van De Cluster are still hopeful. Miss Janet Redman, alto singer, and Miss Nancy Selinger, expert pianist, have brought the world of music closer to everyone. During a recent recital two young gentlemen were seen to swoon. Miss Gretchen Fuller, famed artist, held her new exhibit in her temporary home in Arizona. Free drinks were served in the cocktail lounge. The twilight of the season of the social world was the going under party given by the former Miss Phyllis Hardon for her daughter, Augusta. Miss Marjorie Milne was the charming hostess at a tea given for Mountbatten on Saturday. Miss Marian Mclver gave an enlightening talk on the perfect home life. NIGHTCLUB SPEAKEASY RAIDED Miss Mary Janotska Kurth, singer and bubble dancer in the Scorch Club at Lawrence, was arrested last night for over-exposure when one of her bubbles burst. AIRPLANE CRASH AT CLOCK MOUNTAIN A report has just been received of the crash of a Douglas DC3. The pilot was Ann Dorsel, but luckily she and the crew escaped unhurt. Radio News Lurton and Brown, the two famous comediennes, at eight o ' clock, Station NTTS. Advertisemen t Nigkt Club Head-lines. Featuring the two charming hostesses: Rosalie Bent Twig and Helen Hidges. Extra attraction: Steggie-Lou, Queen of the Hula. Advertisement Is your speech clear? Do you enunciate well? Do you use expression? Come to Mine. La Jones and she will correct these faults. 
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