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Page 90 text:
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Hamlet and Eggs A hush lav over all the class; No breathing stirred the air, And then the calm was broken by The creaking of a chair. We sat and looked with hollow eves Where Chickie kept her station. Yes, girls, she said, I ' m sure ' twill be A nice examination. Tomorrow vou will come at five — The C. P. Senior Classes — Prepared to take an oral test, I hope that each one passes. We will recite respectivelv — Priscilla, pay attention — Upon the works we ' ve read this vear, But what I need not mention. What awful visions filled our minds, And made us cringe and cower! For sure on Hamlet and the Ag We ' d spent full manv an hour. But when the bell had tolled the hour When we were meant to meet, Both crammed and empty, bright and dumb, Each girl was in her seat. And Chickie prancing to her desk Could smack her lips with pleasure. We ' ll start on ' Hamlet ' first, she said, He ' s really such a treasure! Now, will you tell me, Eleanor, Why Hamlet acted mad? Oh, ves, said Ellie, bright with pride, The truth is that he had A common ailment of the mind, Cyclothvmia — the same. It is a form of psychosis. The svmptoms I can name. Oh, pray don ' t bother, Chickie said; This class is as a rule Conducted to teach literature; ' Tis not a doctor ' s school. 86
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Page 91 text:
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But let ' s return to where we stopped, And Ann, I ' m sure, can sav Why Hamlet jumped into the grave On ' Phelia ' s burial day. I ' ve often wondered why myself, Said Annie, deep in thought. He might have hurt an arm or leg, Or got his doublet caught. But if he ' d onlv used his head, I ' m sure it ' s safe to say He would have used a glider, and Gone down an easv way. You disappoint me, Ann, indeed! Poor baffled Chickie cried, But, Lucia, tell me how the king, The queen, and Hamlet died. But Lucia, simpering, demurred, And, maiden coy, replied, The Andover mother ' s darling girl Knows not life ' s sordid side. So Chickie, puzzled, turned to Scud, And asked her pleadingly, But heartless Scudder onlv cried, HAW! HAW! HAW! Don ' t ask me! Why then perhaps, said Chickie now, Cathleen will try and say Whv Hamlet spurned Ophelia ' s love Within the hall that day. I ' m sure I cannot answer why, Said Kate contemptuously, Love is a lot of rot, I think, And men especiallv. Then, Cecile, will you tell me now, — And tell me quickly please — Where Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Took Hamlet overseas? And Cecile, dozing there, did not So much as raise her head, But yawned and mumbled ' neath her breath, Arabia, she said. Poor Chickie, swooning in her chair, Was limp with indignation, This will not do at all, she said, I ' ll ask just one more question. 87
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