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Page 64 text:
The Abbot Circle 19 3 2 Inventions A. Rolled-up shade to be fastened around forehead in the form of a becoming festoon, (old Gaelic word meaning " first one " — also probably the only one) When home- work is not prepared, subject pulls chain, releasing shade, which falls down and envelops subject. This reveals a large sign, " ABSENT " ; a casual glance by the teacher will satisfy her that we are not there, and probably never were. B. Small square in front of Miss Bailey ' s desk, equipped like a " sinking orchestra " . The floor automatically sinks every fifteen minutes. This is, of course, worked on the non-stagger system — you don ' t stagger out of the office, but merely sink through the floor in the appropriate manner. A green light hung directly above the sub- ject ' s head would provide the required ghastly effect. We suggest carrying your copy of Hamlet with you. C. Bed in the approved roller-towel fashion. Everv Saturday bed rotates. New bed comes into view. Snap opening provided every ten feet. Unsnap, get in, sleep, get out, snap. Due to the continuity of sheets, blankets, etc. bed never has to be made. These last a school year. D. Alphabet soup for Miss Chickering ' s spelling classes. A practical course, not only in spelling, not only in getting people to eat soup, but in actually getting them to notice what was in the soup! Example: Miss Chickering: Phyllis, how do you spell " mediaeval? " Phyllis: There ' s a carrot in the way, Miss Chickering. Thus all the bad spelling in the school could be blamed on Miss Butterfield. E. Dictaphone outside Miss Kelsey ' s office with a small resume of the day ' s little morals and epigrams, to be turned on after lunch to amuse those who are waiting outside. At regular intervals there should also be a still small voice whispering " come, come, come " so that the next in line could enter the office. By the time it came to be our turn to go in, we should all be Perfect Ladies! F. Did you ever think of the only real way to be assured of complete warmth on cold days? The method is so simple as to be positively childish, yet how easy it is for our great and ponderous brains to overlook such Simple Ways Out! Take the contents of one of those dry-hot-water bottles, swallow them (the contents), and then the next time you are cold, quickly run to the fountain and swallow two teaspoons of water, no more, no less; jump up and down twenty times, and there you are! From head to heels you are thoroughly warmed, and this is guaranteed to last at least two days. (N.B. : As we can readily see that this would put several people out of business we hesitate to suggest more than one or two people doing this.) Mrs. Duncan, Miss Butterfield, Mr. Scannell, and Charles. 60
Page 66 text:
The Abbot Circle 19 3 2 ABBOT ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION D. Reinhart F. McGarry V. Brown M. Hyde Treasurer Vice-President President Secretary ABBOT ATHLETIC COUNCIL A. Cole, E. Boyce, S.Johnstone, F. Harvev, C. Pike, B. Weaver, M. Hartwell, G. Thomson. K. Whittemore P. Burtt D. Reinhart D. Rockwell F. McGarry V. Brown M. Hyde C. James President 62
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