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Page 45 text:
The Abbot Circle 19 2 1 lieve that the Grandfathers of some of the Children she knew had come home from College Reunions at 2 A.M. Plastered to a Fare-You-Well ; Charlotte Baldwin - you never can tell what Heat there is behind the Asbestos, how wildly a Heart is beating underneath a Starched White Vest; Agnes Titcomb, who had to keep posted on all this Flub so she could answer Questions when she was out among the Almost Intellectuals; Eleanor Voorhees who plugged for the Common Weal, and was Strong for the Brotherhood-of-Man Stuff. The Day was counted lost when the Low-Descending Sun saw Nothing put over for the Betterment of the Race. And this Gay Bunch set out One Day for Pomps on Shank ' s Mare to make Merry with Hot Dogs and Coffee miles and miles from a Tea Urn or a Macaroon. You ate it but after you got through you were not sure that Anything had hap- pened. One frosty Night they ventured Forth to try their luck in a Sleigh. It was some Jubilee and a Good Time Was Had By All. Then came the Time to appoint a Leader of our Motley Crew. The Members sat around a Table and looked at Each other Benumbed and Helpless-like, just as Sprightly as a Congress of Jelly Fish. It was a Combination of Chautauqua, Bean Bag and a Peace Conference. They knew they needed a Pace-Maker with Pep and Ideas. It was Carol Perrin. Then, would you believe that such Rarities as Roast Beef, Turkey, and Hard Boiled Eggs, and Imported Cheese and White Bread and Baked Beans, and Gol- den Creamery Butter were served upon this Senior-Mid Banquet Board? We ate just enough to Sustain our Thirst. So, it was in Anno 1921 A.D., when the Moons Waxed and Waned and Har- vest followed Seed Time that Six more Youthful Creatures hied themselves to Abbot and said they were willing to Accept Positions as some of the Executive Heads of the Blossoming Combine. Marion Cleveland, who hailed from the As- phalt Jungles of Albany; Marian Ailing, who was not yet fed-up on the Camping- Out Stuff; Margaret Ailing, who just when she Felt like Lying Down had to Shift Scenery and hear Somebody Chirp in Classes; Dorothy Simmons, whom no one could stump by asking for Inside Dope on a Late Work of some Icelandic Novelist; Aya Ebina, our Little Representative of the Land of Flowers, who rose at Chilly Dawn and hot-footed to a Slave Pen when it was so Pleasant inside the Covers; Catherine Knight who got up in the Morning so borne down by Business Anxiety that all she could Take On for Breakfast was a Few Eggs and a Couple of Patty Cakes of a rare kind of Sausage containing Pork and Several Strata oi Flap Jacks and a Tureen of Coffee ; Helen Baker, who would have been the World ' s Champion of the Intellectual Heavyweights if she had worn Ear Muffs. 41
Page 44 text:
The Abbot Circle 19 2 1 there is Helen Bruno, one of them N ew Jerseyites, supposed to have the brightest Hair on Record ; Then comes Harriet Edgell who makes all High Rollers look like Marble Players; Dorothy Carr — oh Joy! oh Bliss! and a couple of Raptures! Alma Underwood, who had a Song that caused a strike in the Orchestra — Some of the Musicians said they had Families; Ruth Crossman, who we admit is headed for the Pearly Gates, even if we have been repeatedly stung by her; Clara Louise Cleveland, who instead of effacing herself and sitting back subdued and rever- ential, has taken charge of the Conversation ; Lois Fleming, who strings ' em along scandalous and tells ' em to leave her alone because she is an Unprotected Maiden with a Spotless Reputation; Marion Kimball imbued with the Desire to scatter the Wampum. She was exceedingly Frontage. Alice Hallett, who studied a Stand- ard Work on Auction so as to avoid Being Trimmed every Afternoon. It was just as Lucid as the Book of Deuteronomy in the original Sanskrit; Helen Norpell who, when it comes to Keeping Time is about as Useful as a One-legged man at a Fire; Elinor Cochrane, who having flopped as a Glee Clubber was sup- posed to have a Glorious Career awaiting her in the Business World ; Lora Barber, who looked like Geraldine Farrar in the Last Act and Lillian Russell at the Age of Seventeen ; Secret Mottoes and Pass-Words and Grand Hai ' ing Signs and Signs of Distress may seem to be Fol-de-Rol and Pish-tush to Cold-Blooded Skinies, but they were the Real Paprika to Marian Parker; Mary Harrison, who looked out from early Obscurity and discerned Many Organizations to be Joined ; Louise Van Dervoort, who lives where the Prairie Loam is very Brunette and the Cattle are Broad across the Hips; Julia Guild, who came from a Town where Prunes were still organized against Grapefruit; Betty McDougall, who had a jewelled Pin bear- ing the Mystic Letters P. H. V., which might mean Parrots Have Voices or Papa Hires Veterinarians or Please Help Violet or any other Fool thing; Mary Wil- liams, who at Bridge never pulled a Bower, on the Hottest Days her Collar never mussed and she could Wear a Hat without messing her Hair; Elizabeth McClel- lan who could Juggle such Words as Vouchsafe and Eleemosynary, without Batting an Eye; Jessamine Rugg — even the Gentlemen conceded that she had a Certain Charm of Manner and a Savoir-Faire with the accent on the Salve; Elizabeth Bulkeley, who when conversing gums up the Minor Syllables; Helen Roser, who before Many Moons began to Hanker for the Yellow-Legged Plymouth Rocks, the Golden Butter and the kind of Milk that gushes from old Bossie; Once a young Person alighted from the Horse Car and hurried to this Suburban Beehive — labeled Eunice Meigs; Mildred Peabody, who arrived just as Ripe for Impressions as if she had come from the Planet Mars hanging to the Tail of a Meteorite ; Henry and Libby Thompson, two Terwhilligeeses from Cranford, you may recall. We know People who would give their eye teeth just to have been Insulted by them - then they could say they had Met them; Mary Talcott who was Slow to be- 40
Page 46 text:
The Abbot Circle 192 1 One fine Afternoon we hoisted Ourselves into Trucks and hied to Haggetts ' where the Noises of Our Merry Feast carried across the Deep Drink. So, after years of Placid Toil, the Baskers went on a Terrific Bat, in an Effort to Relax and Recuperate, and for the first time we poor old Birds were un- shackled and left to run Wild in the Mountains. With Mr. Bassett as a Com- posite of Guide, Counsellor, Friend, Referee, Diplomat, Reception Committee, Medical Adviser, and Political Prophet, we managed to subsist. At the End of Four Days, the Weary Vacationers returned to this Peaceful Abode. Then the Senior Class pulled off one of Dear Old Willie ' s Famous Vaudeville Sketches, " The Taming of the Shrew. " It was Rough but made a big Hit. Then came our Final Blow-Out, which consisted of Caviar and Sweet Breads and Artichokes and Bosom of Partridge, Pigs Knuckles, Spring Onions and Grid- dle Cakes, et cetera, et cetera. Nothing came after it except the Pepsin Tablet and the Hot Water Bag. Then after a Week of Joys and Tears when we paraded our Organdies and Entertained the Old Folks from Home, our Alma Mater tossed us upon this Wicked World with only our Sheepskins to Guide Us. Moral: Every Girl is the Architect of her Own Fortune but the Faculty Superintend the Construction. Thank You, George 42
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